Kyuubi Capers - Chapter 1

Sasuke was awakened rather rudely. Something was tugging at his arm. His eyes opened slowly- it was hot here, very much so, he felt sluggish- and turned to see who was trying to get his attention.

Well, not a who so much as a what.

Were he pressed to describe the creature, he would probably call it a giant slug. It was ghostly white, translucent, very wet, and from what he could see, it was trying to suck on his left arm. With one good smack from the right arm, however, it splashed to the ground and disappeared, almost as though it had never been solid at all. The goo dripping from Sasuke's arm was all that was left.

Where had that come from?

Sasuke was not the type to fall asleep and forget where he was. He'd been completely on-guard about his sleeping habits ever since the age of eight. He was also not the type to lose fights, and thus not the type to be knocked unconscious. Therefore, he was most certainly not the type to be awakened in weird places by slug attacks.

He took stock of his surroundings.

They were both dark and wet. He also wasn't alone. A familiar orange jumpsuit stood out, even in the blackness of the cavern.

Why was Naruto here?

Sasuke was also not the type to suffer short-term memory loss.

He began piecing things together, but all he could remember was that he'd used the Sharingan to enter Naruto's mind. He remembered that it was an unsettling place, all industrial hallways and flooding, and the perfect opposite of what was outside Naruto's mind.

Given that he was in an unsettling, dark, and wet place, lying beside Naruto, and that the last place he remembered being was in an unsettling, dark, and wet place, standing beside Naruto, he deduced that he was still inside Naruto's mind. He came to this conclusion in seconds. He glanced over at Naruto.

The other boy was definitely unconscious, but he was breathing. For some reason, Sasuke found that irritating.

Oh, right. I was going to kill him.

It was almost funny how easily he'd forgotten that particular detail.

Sasuke weighed his options. He could go ahead with the original plan and kill Naruto right now while he was unconscious, but that seemed like a bad idea. The most important thing was getting the hell out of Naruto's brain. He just needed to deactivate his Sharingan, and-

Nothing happened.

He could just deactivate his Sharingan and-

Nothing happened. Again.

Sasuke quickly waved a hand in front of his eyes. The Sharingan wasn't active at all.

Fuck.

Bad. The situation was extremely bad. Alarm bells went off in his mind. He forced them to stay quiet. He knew he had an explanation for this, he'd just… forgotten. A temporary setback. He began sorting the rest of his memories into working order.

He easily remembered things that had happened in the past. His childhood, the massacre, Itachi, his training with Orochimaru- all of it was still there. What he'd been doing before entering Naruto's mind was more blurry.

It was daytime. That meant he'd been asleep. Orochimaru always preferred to be active at night.

That weirdo- Sai- Sai showed up in his bedroom. Then, he blew up the east wing. Sasuke couldn't stop himself from indulging a gleeful smile at that one. Orochimaru's fortresses were pretty much the worst. Once the structure was gone, Naruto and Sakura appeared, along with a Jounin that Sasuke hadn't seen before. He called himself Yamato; Kakashi was not present. Sakura said nothing. Naruto screamed and cried. He was going to kill Naruto, yes, that was it- but Sai stopped him. Blah blah bonds blah blah Naruto blah. Then-

Kyuubi.

Like usual, the damn fox was the thread where everything began to fall apart.

He'd caught sight of it trying to emerge from Naruto. He reached out to shut it down with the Sharingan.

And then, he woke up here.

In any case, the first step to figuring out what to do next was to get Naruto to tell him where they were. As distasteful as talking to him would be, the cavern he was standing in was very large, and setting off with no direction could be a disaster, especially if there was anything larger than those slugs wandering about.

Honestly. Why did Naruto have attack slugs living in his brain?

Life's great mysteries.

Sasuke forced himself to stand. He staggered towards Naruto's body. Except for rare, elevated dry patches like the one he'd awoken on, the ground was covered by a few inches of fluid, something strange that was thicker than water. With each step, Sasuke had to tug his feet free of the goo. Naruto was flat on his back and almost totally submerged in the stuff. His mouth and nose just barely peeked over the surface.

This wasn't the first time Sasuke had seen him incapacitated and helpless. He crouched down and grabbed him by the collar of his stupid jumpsuit.

"Wake up," he gritted out, giving Naruto a violent shake. "Wake up, idiot." The familiar taunt fell off his tongue so automatically, he barely noticed it. He shook Naruto's limp body again, and again. This continued for some time.

Sasuke grudgingly remembered that Naruto had always been incredibly difficult to wake up.

The longer he spent here- wherever here was- the more aware Sasuke became that he was trapped. The fact that the fox was nowhere to be seen, despite its taking up most of the space in Naruto's head, was making him uneasy. He could sense its chakra pressing in on him from all sides.

Naruto would know how to get out. This was Naruto's mind, after all. They'd never spoken about it, not really, but Sasuke was confident that Naruto would know how to deal with Kyuubi. He, meanwhile, forced down a feeling that was somewhere between amusement and bitterness. Three years of training with Konoha's most powerful missing-nin, and he was still stuck relying on Naruto, who of course had to look exactly like Sasuke remembered him. Well, older. His face wasn't quite as round. But the hair and the whiskers, those were the same.

Sasuke shook his head.

"Please wake up." He gave Naruto an especially hard shake. No response. Well, maybe he just wasn't being violent enough. Wasting chakra was a bad idea, but there was no rule against punching Naruto as hard as he could, right in his stupid face.

He did so.

Naruto's head snapped to the side with a miserable crack, but there was no sign of any emotion that he refused to label as worry was beginning to spin around inside of him. Sweat was pouring down his body, and he didn't know if it was from nerves or from the heat.

Sasuke was no medic-nin, but Naruto's being comatose inside his own mind probably wasn't a good thing.

On top of that, the damn slug worm things were crawling out of the woodwork, and they would not leave him alone.

"Get off," he hissed, kicking a particularly bold creature every bit as hard as he wished he could kick Naruto's stupid thick skull without endangering his own safety. Two more of them were watching him from a few yards away. Well, "watching" as much as a creature with no eyes could watch.

Moving to higher ground was probably a good idea.

Sasuke lifted Naruto out of the goo. He didn't miss the way the stuff clung to Naruto's body, as if to pull him back down. Naruto felt heavy, almost too heavy for Sasuke to carry and move comfortably, which was unsettling- under normal circumstances, an average-sized teenage boy would feel like nothing. When he focused his chakra to the bottom of his feet to stand on top of the fluid, he was barely able to keep his balance. Side effects from being inside the idiot's head, he told himself. He searched for a dry place to leap to.

The cavern was large, large enough that Sasuke couldn't begin to see the ceiling or any other walls. What he could see was a network of webbed pathways stretching up and in every direction. He slung Naruto over his shoulder and hopped- it was supposed to be a graceful leap, but his legs were exhausted, and it ended up as more of a hop- to the nearest solid ground, and his feet connected to a surface that was both too slick for traction and too squishy for balance. Sasuke slid a good six inches before managing to catch himself, nearly dropping Naruto in the process.

He took the next few hops more slowly. By the time he was too exhausted to continue, he had barely made it two yards above where he'd started. He had also identified the problem.

Something- or someone- was suppressing his chakra.

Kyuubi.

Damn, stupid fox. Sasuke could feel his chakra everywhere. He set Naruto down and crouched to catch his breath. Was this a jutsu? No- Naruto could never learn something this complicated. But still, Sasuke's mind kept teasing at one buried memory.

Gaara's weird sleep jutsu.

Could Naruto have put himself to sleep on purpose?

Sasuke forced himself to replay the painful memory. He relived those moments, in blazing color- lying on a tree branch in crippling pain, waiting to be crushed by Shukaku at any moment, watching Naruto fight without him. How did Naruto break the jutsu?

By punching Gaara in the face.

Well, the first punch hadn't done anything, but it was worth a second try. Sasuke cracked his knuckles and drew back his fist. At least this would relieve some stress.

He barely managed to stop himself before his knuckles connected with a pair of sleepy blue eyes.

"…Sasuke?"

God. His voice was the same, too. Just… deeper. As he woke up, his face settled into that same dumb look he'd always had. A host of unwanted memories and feelings swept through him and were quickly bottled up and put away.

"Naruto," he greeted. He kept his own face carefully expressionless. His own eyes bored into Naruto's bright blue ones. Aggressive eye contact had always served to intimidate him before.

This time, though, was different.

Naruto appeared to be- hmm, how to put this delicately- a few buns short of a full basket.

For an instant, he looked at Sasuke with a sort of curious surprise. He didn't even have the common decency to be afraid of someone who'd just tried to kill him. Then, he groaned miserably.

"You're not really here," he mumbled. That was news to Sasuke. "Stupid- stupid-" Apparently, Naruto was so used to having visions of Sasuke dance in his head that he was unfazed by having the real thing sitting directly in front of him. The thought was disturbing.

"I am," he said bluntly. "As much as I wish I wasn't." The tiniest hint of his petulant younger self crept into his voice. He hated himself for it. Naruto eyed him suspiciously.

"That's just what fake Sasuke would say."

"Idiot." Why did he work so hard to wake this moron up, again?

"Bastard," came the quick retort. Naruto sighed, the sort of deep, melodramatic sigh that Sasuke would expect from him. But what came next took Sasuke by surprise.

"It doesn't matter, anyway."

Sasuke had not once in his short life heard Naruto say that anything didn't matter. The idiot had traveled halfway across the world to chase someone who openly wanted to kill him, and had nearly succeeded twice. The bleak expression on his face was something Sasuke was sure he wouldn't be seeing, if only Naruto knew he was talking to the real Sasuke and not a phantom dredged up by his imagination.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"I don't know." Naruto turned his head away, a sure gesture of I do know but I don't want to say it out loud.

"Yes you do," Sasuke pressed. Naruto bit his lip.

When he finally spoke, his eyes flashed a violent orange.

"I'm inside Kyuubi."

Inside the infamousnine-tailed demon fox. Inside meant swallowed.

Sasuke's mouth went dry.

"You mean inside your head," he corrected. Naruto shook his head. A slow and entirely inappropriate smile was spreading over his lips.

"I mean inside Kyuubi inside in my head." He broke into an exuberant grin. "We're fucked, fake Sasuke."

We're fucked, fake Sasuke.

"How did that happen?" Sasuke kept his voice perfectly even. He would not panic. He would not panic. The Uchiha were not a clan of panickers.

"Sasuke showed up in my head and did some wacky Sharingan shit. Now I'm inside Kyuubi, and the stupid fox is making me see things." He sighed, low and melancholy. "He's just mad at me because he had to sit in that cage all those years…"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not right here." Naruto stuck his tongue out. It was all Sasuke could do to keep from hitting him a third time. Swallowing his dignity, he spoke on Naruto's level. "When Sasuke showed up in your head, he got trapped, too," he muttered.

"Really?" Naruto asked slowly. Sasuke didn't answer. Naruto asked again. "It's really you?"

"Really me," he confirmed. Naruto stared at him for a long moment. Sasuke was uncomfortably aware of how close together they were. Of course, he'd whispered into Naruto's ear what felt like mere minutes before, but at that time, he'd had chakra and a sword. Now, he could barely walk.

Naruto reached out and poked him. The spot burned. Sasuke didn't react. Naruto's mouth slipped open into a small "oh."

"It is you," he whispered. Sasuke nodded. They were finally getting somewhere. If Naruto could accept that he was actually here, then he could-

Well, punch him in the face was one option.

Sasuke's nose cracked as the fist connected. Unlike himself, Naruto appeared to be in top fighting condition, or past it. He was overflowing with chakra. His eyes burned shimmering orange and refused to fade. Sasuke stumbled back, and Naruto used the extra space to kick him in the stomach, as hard as he could while lying down.

Sasuke reached impotently for his hard-earned perch as he fell back down into the muck.

The stuff didn't even make a splash. It just surrounded his body with a thick squelch. Gasping with revulsion, he propped himself up on his elbows, barely summoning the strength to keep his head and neck above goo-level.

"What the fuck, Sasuke!" Naruto screamed. How could he scream? Sasuke was struggling just to take normal breaths. "You couldn't just stab me like a normal fucking person? Did your best friend Orochimaru teach you to kill people by scrambling their brains?"

He still thinks I'm going to kill him, Sasuke thought. He frowned. No- he thinks I already did.

"You stupid fuck," Naruto babbled, verging on hysteria. Sasuke barely picked up half of what he was saying. "You just disappear- we chased after you- Neji and Choji nearly died- and Sakura-chan- you put a hand through my chest- we went all the way to Sound- and Sai is just the worst- and- and-"

"Naruto," he said coolly. His head was pounding. "How do we get out of here."

His erstwhile closest friend shouted the answer he'd been dreading.

"We can't!"

They were stuck here forever.

No. He was lying. Sasuke wasn't in on Naruto's relations with his personal demon, but there had to be a way to get the creature to let them go. Naruto was exaggerating. Never mind that Uzumaki Naruto was the absolute last person in the five kingdoms who would ever say that something was impossible if it wasn't.

"Eventually, I'll be fully absorbed into Kyuubi," Naruto whispered. "Who knows what'll happen to you. Maybe you'll get digested. Or maybe you'll just get to sit in here forever. Oh, maybe Kyuubi will let your sorry ass have his old cage. I don't know."

"Did you actually get dumber since the last time I saw you?" Sasuke's head was splitting. He was familiar with this sensation- it was chakra fatigue.

So the fox was somehow stealing his chakra, not just suppressing it. Cool.

"Look who's talking!" Naruto was still shouting. "Mr. "I'm going to give my body to Orochimaru!" Well, instead you're giving your soul to the nine-tailed demon fox. Congratulations. Glad your life was so fucking important to you."

Sasuke did his best to ignore the words. His own life wasn't important.

His body was becoming heavier and heavier. The heat was unbearable. He was unable to support his own weight anymore. He was sliding down into the goo. Naruto's voice was distant.

"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke-"

The ugly white slug creatures were huddling at the edge of his vision. So if this was what was inside the Kyuubi, those things were probably part of its digestive system. The thought was unpleasant. They were slithering towards him, ready to pull him apart. He wondered, briefly, if being absorbed into Orochimaru would have been any more dignified.

You know, he thought idly, as the first slug latched on to one of his legs, Kyuubi's insides seem way bigger than his outsides. No, that was a stupid last thought.

Too bad I never got to kill Itachi.

Sorry, Mom. … Dad.

"Sasuke- Sasuke!" Naruto's voice was getting louder. The slugs were disappearing. "You're so stupid! You're not supposed to just lie there. Why aren't you fighting them off? Sasuke?"

Sasuke refused to say I can't.

SECOND NARUTO FIC EVER LOL

This fic was written for the Winter 2011 SasuNaru LJ Fic Exchange. (I don't know the official title, but it's long! The livejournal community is neo_sn_exchange.) The prompt I was given was:

A Subtle portrayal of Naruto/Sasuke. The sky is your limit though because I'm easily excited. To get the inspiration ball rolling (kinks): good plot, highschool, revolutions, superheros, hokage!Naruto, monsters, jealousy

Squicks: Out of characterness. Overt dominance of one character over the other. Fluff, PWP, furries, underage

As TOTALLY AWESOME as it would have been to write a story about Naruto acquiring superpowers and being plucked out of high school to lead a revolution against Konoha's government thus becoming Hokage except that there's also monsters and Sasuke is jealous about it, I had to pick a couple to work with. I chose monsters and jealousy. This was inspired by that filler arc with the three-tails, where Naruto and Guren get trapped inside of it and there's like, a frickin' alternate dimension in there. Also, I don't know if "PWP" means "no porn at all," but there's going to be porn later. I mean, duh.

Oh, and it's due tomorrow, so it's already 90% finished, so updates will be fast. WOOT. Go me. I am the coolest.

Review my shit.