Tears In Heaven

Bella felt trapped.

Had she meant to do this? Was this what her life had finally come too? It didn't seem to matter, thinking was not required. Like so much else in her life, this was one more aspect she had no choice or control over. Someone else was making those decisions. What exactly was this, anymore?

Lights, sounds, pleading, none of it made sense to Bella as she floated in blackness. Something warm fell on her…a hand?

She wasn't thinking, but the thoughts floated anyways.

No mane, no tail, no fur but a tawny goldenness that constantly haunted her dreams. The piercing gaze of a creature that topped any and all food chains but one she never feared. Gold had always represented wealth and power; the only exception being that this gold had brought her comfort as well.

Until the gold vanished.

No, it was something else, wetter, warmer than the touches she was used to. It felt nice…this wasn't supposed to be nice.

A simple blink and he was gone, cruelly torn from her life never to be seen or heard from again. From a world of wonder and contentment, Destiny erased every connection she ever had of the graceful feline like figure and replaced it with a new creature equivocally built.

The memories and dreams of a new fierce predator took over. A huge magnificent beast of equal ferocity as the lion, but more intimidating to her.

Someone was screaming…who was making that sound? There was more yelling, angry demands and commands; Bella couldn't piece together the sounds to words.

A darkened, silver hued wolf.

Lustrous and deceiving in appearance but with a heart that attempted to enclose her in vain. The wolf, wrapping its essence around her; a thick pulsating fur blanket of a torturous life.

Bella wanted to struggle, she wanted to pull away and crawl back into the silence of darkness.

She saw herself as the lamb, the innocent foal that couldn't walk or defend herself but was unafraid of those that could hurt her. A lion with a lamb or a wolf with a lamb; neither scenario could be ideal. Neither had ever set out to physically hurt her and both had succeeded in doing just that.

The screaming changed…louder still and not at all human sounding. Oh god, was that the blackness? Did the peace of nothingness hold demons?

Black was never a color but now it was location, invading her space and lifting to embrace in a welcoming gesture. A million thoughts of a lifetime that had been, could be and never would, drifted by as wisps. Neither cold nor hot; just there.

No pain. No pleasure. No wanting or needing. Emotions were too much and no longer existed. Bella liked it here…

Four years after the marriage…

Standing in front of the polished mirror, Bella smiled as she brushed her hair, the glossy sleekness falling nearly to her waist. She was free to leave it loose, no longer concerned about having to keep it carefully braided and pinned to prevent unnecessary grabbing.

Her smile dropped instantly when he spoke unexpectedly; a voice she swore she would never have to listen to again.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Paul's voice mocked condescendingly. Two years had passed since her departure from Washington and never would she have expected him to show up here of all places.

Bella wasn't scared of him anymore. Her heart, soul, whatever that throbbing piece of emotion in her chest was called, moved slow and sluggishly with his sudden appearance.

"Hello, Paul," she greeted blandly, eyeing him through the reflection of the mirror. Setting the brush on the counter, she allowed her gaze to sweep over him.

He was still magnificent to look at even dressed in bare-threaded clothing that didn't fit properly. His hair was slightly longer than she had ever seen it. Not enough to be called long, but definitely shaggy, brushing haphazardly against his shirt collar.

"So nice of you to stick around after destroying a whole tribe," Paul commented, causing Bella to physically flinch as the memories she had fought for so long to forget began to surface.

"Boy, you picked a hell of a time to flee the Rez," he continued. "Did Jake or Sam tell you what happened after I came home and found you?"

"A little," she hedged. She had been told enough and didn't need Paul to tell her anymore of the reality versus the nightmares that had plagued her for months and driven her to seek asylum in an institution across the country.

"I guess it really was for the best. Had you stayed, Leah definitely would've killed you. Even if she hadn't, Emily or Kim might've done it. In the end, you really did manage to piss off the whole tribe."

Her mouth opened to protest his cruelty, but no words came out.

Abruptly, Paul changed his tactic, wanting her to hurt. Approaching closer, he stood behind her. Not touching her; he'd never touch her again. "Look in the mirror, Bella. You will always look like this, no matter how much you wish otherwise. One of the forsaken," Paul hissed in her ear, not a touch of sympathy, love or compassion.

"And what's wrong with that?" she whispered, the first tremble of fear showing. "To live the immortal dream of being young forever?"

He leaned closely, his hot breath sweeping over her neck. It didn't cause the shivers it normally would. Now it felt threatening; a wolf's last chuckle before devouring the helpless rabbit. "You can live your fantasy, Bella, I can't stop you."

Bella tried to swallow, her mouth suddenly dry. "I know you can't, Paul. I broke the imprint and allowed you your freedom."

"Really?" He sneered, pacing away from her before turning abruptly back towards the figure in the mirror. "How benevolent of you, to allow me my freedom."

Paul's distance gave Bella the courage she needed to lash back. They were both free! How dare he accuse her of granting them both a pardon?

"I didn't ask for this! How can you blame me, when you yourself hated it just as much as I do?" She seethed, anxious for him to be gone.

The wolf actually looked surprised. He had changed, Bella recognized that. The arrogance he had carried for so long had been eroded away, leaving a man who wore an expression Bella once had, years ago in Forks: a look of hopelessness.

"I don't hate you, Bella, I never have," Paul said, making Bella want to scoff. "Until that day, this was a blessing; a reprieve that made this worthwhile. All of the pain, heartache and misunderstanding meant nothing because at the end of the tunnel, I was supposed to have my perfect mate, my soul-mate, you!"

Bella was not impressed. "Only because you weren't given a choice! If you hadn't imprinted on me, you wouldn't have given me the time of day and you know it."

"You're right, I wouldn't have," Paul agreed. "But something bigger than both of us thought we were meant to be together. I thought you, of all people, would understand something like that."

"And maybe it would've worked, Paul, but you kept pushing and taking, never once showing anything but lust and remorse for being stuck with me. You had me and didn't do anything to make it work. Our imprint wasn't like Sam and Emily, who always held hands and shared smiles. It wasn't like Jared and Kim, who radiated happiness when in the presence of each other."

"Don't," he roared, his patience spent. "Don't fucking compare us to anyone else. I may have been harsh and not given you the adoration and hugs you needed, but you never once fought for it. Sam, Jake, Jared, Quil, everyone always took me aside, telling me how I treated you like shit and could I lay the fuck off and give this thing a chance to do whatever it was supposed to. But you never fucking asked how I felt about it, did you?"

"All the time!" Bella shrieked, her heart racing furiously. "I asked you repeatedly to love me; to give me a chance to adjust and make our relationship work; to show me that I meant something to you more than a blissful whore."

"Yeah," Paul threw back sarcastically. "I got that message loud and clear when you'd beg for me to let you come."

Shamefully, Bella lowered her eyes. "I never instigated any of our encounters with my own free will," she mumbled, hating that time of her life. "It was always the stupid imprint, pulling us together."

"You wanted to, though. So fucking bad I could taste it and I figured why the hell not? We were already so goddamn miserable the least we could get out of this arrangement was some hard core fucking and release."

Bella told herself she should've known. The only reason Paul was here now was to try to humiliate her one more time for enjoying what she had always known was wrong.

"Whatever we had in the past is just that. As you can see, I'm not the same, fragile child I was while living in Washington. I grew up and away from you. You lied to keep me there and I had to use any means I could to get away." In an uncharacteristic move, Bella looked at Paul directly, gloating. "I won and I don't need you anymore."

"You're half right, Bella, you don't need me anymore, but not because you feel like you grew up," Paul mocked in a sing song tone.

"You're just angry that I was able to figure out how to get over the side-effects of imprinting, Paul! I no longer need you around, my body doesn't hurt when we're separated and I have moved on."

Pointedly, Bella stared at the man she had once called husband. As far as she was concerned they no longer had any reason to communicate and never would. Once he left again, she would close that door, never to reopen.

Ignoring her look of determination, Paul continued. He hadn't traveled across the damn country for only two minutes of his imprint's time. "And that doesn't strike you as odd? I wanted out of the imprint more than anyone and yet, I stayed because I had no choice; the same as you. Don't you even want to know what changed?"

Bella shook her head. "No, I don't. Now please, leave before I call Edward and have you forcibly removed. He's going to be livid when he finds out you were here."

"He might," Paul remarked casually. "But that'll be for Black to explain."

"Jacob? I don't understand," Bella asked in surprise. She hadn't seen her best friend since that fateful day she had left the Rez. Did he even consider her a friend anymore? He hadn't tried to contact her. "What does he have to do with you being here?"

"That's right, I forgot; you aren't one of the monsters yet. You didn't hear the scuffle from below, did you squab?" Paul threateningly questioned. "It appears not all of your dead friends like you very much. The dead blonde seems to think I had every right to come up here and talk to you."

"Rosalie?" Bella asked, trying not to wince. Out of all of the Cullens, she had been the most upset. Bella still didn't know if she had been entirely forgiven despite Edward's assurances.

"Yeah, I guess that's her name," Paul answered, not giving a shit what they called themselves. A leech was a leech. "She was all for letting me speak to you after Jacob had a few words about your removal. Not even our marriage ceremony would've allowed you to remain on tribal lands and the vamp felt I deserved a chance to chat it up with my wife."

"I was not removed, Bella huffed indignantly. "I left on my own volition."

"I never pegged you as a cheater, little bird," Paul said, ignoring her protests and still referring to her as his wife. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that indiscretion."

"There is nothing to forgive and I am not an adulteress. We are no longer married," Bella taunted, holding up her left hand. The gold band was long gone; Bella could care less what had happened to it. In its place was a sparkling diamond engagement ring.

"Funny, I don't remember signing any goddamn divorce papers," Paul snarled back, unable to look away from her hand. "In fact, your name hasn't been attached to anything I've signed all this time."

Bella dropped her hand back to her side, watching as Paul finally looked up to see her again. "What do you think I did all those days you were away from the house? Do you think I sat there planning our meals and watching day time TV?"

Shrugging, Paul didn't really care. He wasn't here to bring her home. Even if they both wanted that, they could never return as a couple to La Push.

"Do you ever wonder what happened to Sam?" Paul asked, watching as the woman in front of him shifted nervously.

Good! The bitch had no right to feel comfortable about anything ever again!

"No. Should I be?" Bella asked, her head spinning over the constantly changing topics and attitudes Paul was throwing at her.

"I suppose not. After all, why would you care as to why he was required to leave his lands approximately one week after you did?"

"I'm sure he had good reason to-" Bella faltered and cowered as Paul shot-up in his seat, rage marring his face.

"He didn't have a fucking choice in the matter! After an imprint managed to commit the greatest of sins, the Elders banished him! Banished him from his fucking home, his life, his people…if Emily wasn't Makah and able to return with Sam to those lands, they would've been homeless!"

Shrinking into herself, Bella realized that she had no protection against Paul right then. The imprint was gone and he was mad. "I don't understand," she finally whimpered, hoping he'd calm down long enough for Edward to return.

Tasting the fear, Paul's rage bled away, leaving an ugly anger; an emotion not as volatile but equally destructive.

"You didn't let me finish my story, little bird. Have a seat and let me tell you exactly what happened after you were removed from La Push." Patting the bed, he sat down, waiting for her to join him. He could see her eyeing the door, hoping to make a quick getaway, but that wasn't about to happen. Not until Paul was finished.

It took awhile, but eventually Bella sat on the other side of mattress, twisting her hands in discomfort. She was going to have to listen to him until someone else came up to the room to remove Paul.

Leaning back, his hands supporting his weight from behind, Paul closed his eyes and started to talk. "I've seen and done a million things in my short lifespan, but never will I forget how I felt that day. I figured you'd be a little moody; you usually are when I first entered the house. There wasn't any scent to alert me of a problem; buying that Hepa air-filter was a fucking stroke of genius."

Lurching up, Paul clapped his hands slowly, a gesture indicating anything but appreciation, each palm against palm crack mimicking –in Bella's mind—the sound of gun shots.

"I walked in, expecting to hear the TV playing one of those stupid cooking shows, or hear that obnoxious droning of one of your audio books. It was so quiet, though and I remember chuckling to myself thinking, gosh if I didn't know better, I'd say everyone was dead. That's some fucking irony right there, huh, little squab?"

"I heard two heartbeats and while both of them sounded off, it didn't fully register. I still checked in the kitchen and our room first, positive I'd find you in one of those two rooms. For some strange reason, when I saw the nursery door closed, I knew you guys were taking a nap. What other reason would the door be closed than you might be worried I'd come barging in and wake up little Anthony? But that damn air-filter, it sounded too loud to me, kinda like an old air-raid siren."

"I don't even know if I forgot, or had just pushed aside the information, but it all hit me real fast. Not only had I taken pains a few months previous to oil the inner doors so they wouldn't squeak, but I was a werewolf. Wax my ass and feed me kibble if I couldn't enter a room quiet enough not to disturb a human!"

Paul was not smiling as he talked, feeling the burn begin underneath his skin as he relieved that day over and over. At work, at home, out in the fucking forest as a wolf, Paul could not forget and he wanted to.

"I swung that door open gently and just stared as the heartbeats became more defined. I had been hearing it all along, I just hadn't bothered to realize that while not only was the sound off, but so was the tempo. Your second fucking stroke of genius and my stupidity was using the bear."

Bella missed whatever else Paul was saying as she thought back to her impromptu party. She hadn't wanted to go, only doing so when Jake had come forth and asked if she'd mind doing it; not for herself, but for the pack-family benefit.

"Aww, Bella, look how cute it is," Kim had gushed as she held up the newly unwrapped baby shower gift. "Not only can you put a warm bottle inside for your baby to snuggle next to for comfort, you can also turn on the music box. It replicates the sounds of a heart so the baby feels safe."

"I struggled for a bit, but you won out as my first priority," Paul raged, drawing Bella's attention back to the present. "I'd like to say it was because there wasn't a damn thing I could do for the dead baby, but your heart was still beating on its own. I'd like to say that, but we both know it was because of the imprint." Paul's voice trailed off as he struggled with the all encompassing concept that he truly never had free-will from the moment he had phased.

"I wanted to help my child; to let the bitch who was selfish enough to take away an innocent's life, wallow in shame and agony before dying." His eyes narrowed as he stared at Bella. "You couldn't even let me have that."

"A cut, a gash, hell even a deep laceration and my wolf saliva would have helped the skin mend faster. I'm guessing you didn't know that either?"

Bella shook her head mutely; too afraid to tell Paul he was wrong. She hadn't realized it until then, but Paul would not have helped her due to the imprint; it been severed the moment Anthony had taken his last breath.

Paul didn't notice as he continued to speak, his eyes hollow, remembering a past they both needed to forget. "It wouldn't have mattered if you had or not, I guess. I mean, maybe you wouldn't have attempted suicide the old fashion way by slitting your wrists and instead tried something more creative like you did for the kid, swallowing some pills or trying to hang yourself from a curtain rod."

Silence filled the room as they both remembered different things from the same scene.

Bella had studied the tribe's histories, trying to find her way out from a life she didn't want. Her husband had never helped her, always mocking that it was pointless, but Bella had continued returning over and over to the fact that it was all about bloodlines.

Paul felt that day as if he was right there; his guilt for trying as best as he could to make things work and it not being enough for her. Nobody knew how to help either of them and it wouldn't have mattered. Paul might have been able to overlook his disgust for his imprint and even learned to live somewhat peacefully with her, but the squab had always wanted more.

"Do you feel any remorse at all, or is it that now you've gotten fucked by your freak, everything is okay?" Paul asked, breaking the silence.

Fed up with being forced to relive what she had so carefully concealed, Bella wanted to hurt Paul as much as his words had done so time and time again."You can't talk to me like that anymore! I paid my dues, sucking you off and letting you ram yourself into me every which way until it didn't matter anymore!"

"He was our son!" Paul roared, unable to believe she could just act as though nothing had happened.

"No, he was yours. The need to carry on your bloodline was forced upon me. I may have agreed to the sex, but I didn't agree to that," Bella poorly explained, trying not to sob.

Having no leniency for her, Paul's words continued to inflict pain. "You killed an innocent child. What, was that your proactive sin for when you finally found your vamp-tramp family? An initiation test to help you get into the dead-ringer's club?

"You never understood then and I certainly don't expect you to understand me now!" Bella choked out, the tears running freely now; just like they had when she was forced to live with Paul. "Go home, Paul, and leave me alone. I owe you nothing."

"You're such a bitch, did you know that? Even before you knew we were wolves, you always told Jacob how sweet the Cullens were; how the father was some type of fucking humanitarian. Yet, here you are, still human and hoping to become one of them and you can't even be humane and give me closure."

"Anthony was never my son, Paul. Every feature, very mannerism, even his speech was a mimicry of yours. The elders said we were soul mates, but Sam was closer to the truth than anyone realized. Imprinting was about building more of you; a perverse idiosyncrasy of Darwin's survival of the fittest." Every word was true and every word lashed at Bella like a whip. Anthony had been his father's child and Bella knew that even if the child didn't phase in his lifetime, he would continue to spread the vileness that companioned being a wolf: Imprinting.

"If that was true, Anthony would still be alive!" Paul hissed. Survival of the fittest or not, a fucking toddler could not survive harm from its parent. She hadn't helped Paul survive their imprint, but this woman -who had been called a mother- had knowingly taken away the chance for Paul to protect his son.

Bella felt detached from herself. "Consider it a flaw in the system. In order to build stronger offspring, the chords had to back off in between children. A weakened mother wouldn't produce healthy children. Our souls detached shortly after Anthony's birth."

Paul felt the trickle of coldness inch up his spine; her words were correct. The chords had released and in that time span the wolf had fallen silent. It hadn't been the wolf gene that had made Paul begin to love his wife; it had been the human.

"I stood in that room and placed our child in his crib for his afternoon nap, knowing that the bottle I gave him was filled with water hemlock. I was scared, so damn scared that a wolf would be nearby and realize what was going on, but I didn't have any more time. I didn't know that our chords had temporarily released, but they were starting to tingle again, telling me that I had been free, but soon would lose that," Bella spoke dispassionately, meeting Paul's own look of despair.

"I didn't want to be your whore anymore, Paul. I didn't care that you could make my body feel good; you made my mind feel worthless and ashamed. I loved my son, make no mistake of that, but I would not subjugate him to the horrors you inflicted on me. And as I watched him die, it broke my mind, body and soul."

Turning away from Paul she cried. "I knew what I had just done and I snapped. My freedom, the thing I wanted most had driven me to sacrifice another person, my own child. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen, watching and waiting and praying that no one would come over to check on us. I wanted to stab myself in the neck, have my life over with quickly because the second Anthony died was the second I realized the price for freedom was too much." Stumbling over her words, Bella knew she wouldn't be able to explain all of it to the man before her.

How she had tried to push the blade into her throat, but couldn't gather the courage to apply enough pressure. How she had watched her convulsing child die painfully, unable to turn back the clock and stop even if she wanted to. The relief of numbness she felt once she had moved the knife to her wrists, slicing easily and deeply through the skin before crumpling to the ground in shock.

Speaking carefully and controlled, Paul needed to hear all of it. "You named our child after your boyfriend. I never once stopped you from daydreaming about living with the bloodsucker. Sometimes you'd still call his name out lovingly after we spent an exceptionally hard night together, never once bothering to ask me to back off when you pleaded with me to make your body come. How do you think that made me feel, knowing I was okay with letting you carry on with your charade, but hoping you'd at least man the fuck up enough to speak about it?"

Despite all she had said, Paul still didn't understand. In the coldest voice she could muster, she told him the last thing Paul would have expected. "None of that mattered, Paul. Not then and not now because if given the choice, I'd do it over."

"You heartless bitch," Paul whispered savagely. "You used me, striking when the chords were less effective for protection. If the bonding had been in full force, I would've gotten home sooner or maybe not have even gone, feeling your unease."

"Yes," Bella screamed shrilly. "It was me, a lousy stupid human that figured out how to break the imprint. The entire time the wolves said it couldn't be done; the bond was permanent but I did it and I got away thanks to your timely arrival," she spat at Paul's feet, glad to be rid of him.

Paul lunged before Bella had time to register his movement, his fingers lifting up the woman to dangle helplessly in front of him, clawing to be released.

'At what cost, though? You think the death of a child, my child, any child was worth your freedom?" Paul asked, watching the blood bloom in her cheeks, turning darker and darker.

'I hope your freedom was worth it, squab," Paul spat back, choking the life out of her slowly and methodically. "Whatever you thought you had will be gone. Just like you killed my son, I'm going to fucking kill you now."

Bella met the eyes of her killer, filled with pain for their deceased child and inhumanity for the woman who had taken the life. She had made peace with herself for her actions; months of therapy and group sessions telling her she was still at fault, but not alone. Carlisle had found her by chance in a medical journal of psychiatry; another case study of a young woman who had become detached from reality and unable to discern fact from fiction, claiming a werewolf had hurt her and infected her with his spawn.

Using the wealth and power the Cullens always had, they had been able to remove her from the hospital and procure the necessary documentation to show she had killed herself while being transferred, too afraid of her psychological manifestation of a wolf finding her.

Bella didn't want to think about wolves in her last few minutes of life. She was having trouble focusing, her vision tunneling as objects became harder to focus on. She wasn't aware of her body fighting the hand holding her hostage only the feel of them slipping away as her lungs burned in agony.

Paul's nose twitched milliseconds before he felt the blow, the bone in his arm snapping and causing him to drop her; the body thumping hard to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rosalie seethed, ready to deliver a punch as the wolf turned on her. Jacob and Edward were both in the doorway, the vampire struggling to get in to Bella.

"Let go of me, Black! This is all your fault," Edward yelled, his eyes never leaving where Bella laid motionless.

"I can't do that, Cullen," Jacob answered, his arms tightening. "Bella is hurt and the more of us in there, the more likely she is to be even more hurt. Let your vamp corral Paul and then I'll let you in."

"Do you know what you've done?" Rosalie screeched at the wolf. "I defended you to let you talk to her and now this?"

Paul took a step away, catching his reflection in the mirror. This wasn't who he was, a man bent on extracting revenge for a crime he could in no way have prevented but was still responsible for.

"Edward, get your ass over here now. She isn't breathing," Rosalie screeched dropping to her knees to roll Bella over on her back.

Jacob lost his grip, the realization that Bella wasn't breathing enough of a distraction for Edward to break away. The vampire wanted to kill the ragged wolf who had just tried to kill the love of his life, but the girl took priority.

Dropping next to Rosalie, Edward trusted his sibling to watch the wolves while he worked quickly and efficiently to breathe life back into Bella's inert form. Tilting her head, he forced air into her lungs, placing one hand over her sternum to help diffuse the pressure of his hand. Had he only used just his fingers, the force required to compress Bella's chest would have pierced her skin.

He didn't need to count out loud, his mind doing it automatically while he watched and listened for her heart. He knew this had been a bad idea but Rosalie stepped in. She knew Bella had been forced to do what she did and it pained all of them but no one more so than Rosalie. She felt Bella at least needed to see Paul face to face one more time with no imprint; to tell the wolf to shove his prick up his ass and be gone forever.

Leaning over, he breathed into her warm mouth, making sure her tongue wasn't obstructing airflow as the precious life giving gas flowed from him into her, her lungs inflating and deflating slowly.

In a way, Edward had hoped Bella would do just that. She'd finally relieve herself of those lingering doubts that sometimes overtook her mind, leaving a lost and fragile looking girl in place of the stunning woman she was. However, he never should've allowed them alone in the room or at the very least, he should have hovered outside of the room.

If Bella died, neither wolf would live.

Edward's sensitive ears heard the thump first, Bella's heart sluggishly restarting as he pumped his hand. Slowing his hand, he gave another lungful of air, relieved when her body took over and started again.

Rosalie was watching the wolves, arguing viciously with Jacob while Paul stood motionless, staring at the mirror.

"No wonder she left his ass. I'm still ready to choke his mangy hide until he turns funny colors," Rosalie said in a low pitched voice, not wanting to disturb Edward's work.

"Do you honestly think I would have let him in here if I thought he was going to kill her, leech?" Jacob asked. "I've known Bella most of my life and would've hurt him myself had I known that was what he was planning."

Turning away from Bella, Edward spoke up, his own thoughts angered. "I thought you could read his head while in the form of a wolf? You can't expect us to believe you had no idea that this would happen."

"Do you have any idea what it's like to lose your child, leech?" Jacob spat out. "Paul was untouchable for months. That day he shifted and destroyed half the side of his house, lunging into the forest and then just gone. Sam had his own problems with the authorities and then the council; he was in no position to order Paul to do anything. When I became Alpha, I was told to bring Paul back to help clean up the mess both of them left."

Pausing to take in a deep breath, Jacob's voice turned from harsh to pained. "It was like he wasn't even there; his wolf had taken over fully but with human memories and…My god," Jacob whispered, bowing his head into his hands, the pain of that time still livid. Looking back up, Jacob had tears in his eyes. "I would have rather severed my own hands and feet than have to have gone through that first hand.

Edward could catch glimpses of what Jacob was talking about and he flinched backwards. He knew exactly what had happened but to witness it telepathically with both the visions and emotions…it was soul altering.

Turning back to his fiancée, Edward picked her up, standing behind Rosalie's protective stance. "I think it's time you left. You have come to say what you wanted to and nothing good has come of it. If you want to keep your memories, so be it, but don't expect Isabella to do the same. She has moved on and away and your presence is only a painful reminder of what never should've happened."

Paul's eyes slid away from the mirror, the idea that this leech could even fathom what pain was, a ridiculous notion.

"Do not contact us ever again. It will be at least a century, if ever, before we attempt to make Forks our home again." As he turned, Bella's shirt shifted, revealing a noticeable bulge Paul had failed to see from the beginning...

"You did fuck her, didn't you, you piece of shit," Paul whispered in pain.

"Shut your filthy fucking mouth, dog," Edward hissed. "It is none of your business what Isabella Swan does.

"She's pregnant?" Jacob asked, a new wave of shock booming through him.

"She was as long as your rabid side kick hasn't damaged her irreparably."

Paul's laughter was maniacal. "Bella doesn't know how to be a mom. Sure she'll take care of the kid, but she'll just as happily dispose of it once she knows you'll give her what she wants."

Jacob audibly gasped at Paul's audacity; Rosalie growling as she leapt the distance to the wounded wolf to slap him across the face, his head following the movement to lessen the impact.

"You have no idea what kind person Bella is, dog!" The blonde vampire snarled.

With his good hand, Paul rubbed over his bruised jaw, flexing the tendons to make sure it, too, wasn't broken. "I know exactly what kind of person she is, blood sucker. I was fucking married to her and if you think she can love anyone but herself you're sorely mistaken."

"Bella knows all there is to know about love," Edward said, wanting to get his Love away from this barbaric man she had been forced to call husband. "She tried to show you and it wasn't enough to keep her tethered to your slavish ways."

"She'll show you what you want to, leech," Paul answered, "but in the end, you'll see I was right and she was wrong. Isabella Swan always has and always will be selfish, regardless of what you say or do."

"Get out of our house so I can tend to her properly. Rose?" Edward motioned, knowing his sister would be twice as angry with the thought that Bella might lose her child. "Make sure they are gone. I'm taking Bella to Carlisle's office. Once they're gone, please call him home; I need to make sure we don't miss anything."

Leaving his bedroom, Edward knew Bella would never feel safe in there again. In a matter of minutes, everything they had worked so hard to overcome would resurface and take more time to heal.

Paul returned to La Push alone for the time, constantly replaying the events of the last few days. Bella Swan, the tiny girl from the neighboring town of Forks had meant nothing to him in the beginning; being forced to live at his side by a condition that people of the real world dreamed of finding.

He had studied the other wolves, noted the imprinted ones and the ease they had accepted their imprints, everything just clicking into perfection without any type of obvious struggle. Paul wondered if he was correct. He had told Sam imprinting was slavery; being forced to love and care for a woman a wolf might not have otherwise looked twice at. Jared had never noticed Kim until he imprinted and Sam, too, had already been in love with another female when Emily Young happened to cross his path and demolish those feelings in an instant.

Paul had fought against the chords, his own soul angry at his mind for not stopping to look for any good and be led down a path he wanted no part of. The imprint, a ghost of a drug, had tried to manipulate Paul and he almost fell for it. The feeling of ultimate bliss it would have shown him and allowed him to believe even though it was fake.

Jacob had stayed near Bella. Not because he thought she would really choose him above the Cullen but for reasons of closure and acceptance. He loved her; no longer romantically, but equally as strong. Out of all of the failures that had occurred, their friendship was the one thing Jacob refused to accept as a failure. He pleaded with her daily to make her understand and the day before she gave birth, she did. He had never blamed her for any of her choices and welcomed her with open arms, expressing a love more pure than anyone could have shown.

It felt like an eon had passed before Paul ever spoke to her again and he had been right. Bella continued to mourn for many things, never knowing what it really was until the end.

She was pregnant with Edward's child, the short duration of carrying a hybrid fetus taking a toll on her body. Edward had insisted on marrying her before she became too cumbersome to move and they had; Jacob and the rest of the Cullens acting as witnesses in the small ceremony.

The day she went into labor, Bella wept, not knowing how she could cope if her child was another son. Edward had told her he didn't care as long as the baby and mom were healthy. As the first contraction ripped through her, Bella only felt pain, unaware of the measures Carlisle and Edward had to take to save the baby and finally transform her into what she had most wanted: to be a vampire. When Jacob had laid his eyes on the tiny bundle Rosalie nursed while Bella was being transformed, he knew the spirits had blessed him. Bella Swan had always been a part of his life and now, with this miniature version of her in the form of a daughter, she would be.

The every other yearly trips to visit Renee yielded the same results. Her crazy plans, care-free attitude and love of what's-happening-now became almost an illness. Bella's mom never asked what happened between her daughter and the La Push native; she had divorced Charlie early in their marriage and obviously Bella had moved on as well. Twenty-five years passed by before Renee was diagnosed as having full blown Alzheimer's.

Her death came, hard, fast and unexpected. Most people suffered for at least a few years before requiring care and hospitalization; Renee's life was snuffed out faster than an errant wind blowing across a garden candle.

Jacob was the hardest. He never stopped being Bella's friend, always carefree and happy, never stopping to question the bigger picture after she had made her choice. His feeling for Renesmee blossomed and when it became a full-bloom, Edward told Bella in bed one night that it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever mentally read. Relaxing back into her husband's arms, Bella tried not to weep in both happiness for her daughter, and over the fate she had been dealt with her own wolf.

Taha Aki was a legend and as far as legends go, had lived long enough to enjoy a third wife. As with most historical tales, inaccuracies were bound to be present. Bella knew this first hand after severing her imprint, but wondered why she hadn't bothered to explore the stories further.

Whether Bella had known first hand or not, her world would have crumbled regardless.

Carlisle, for all of his hundreds of years of existence had never given up the belief of a god. When the wrath of god befell the Cullens, Bella's choice seemed selfish once again.

"Jake," She asked questioningly as he paused mid-run, panting heavily. Lowering to the ground, he laid his head down and closed his eyes, still breathing heavier than Bella had ever seen him.

"Do you want me to go back and get Renesmee or Carlisle?" Nervously, she grasped the hem of her shirt, a human habit she had never lost; unsure of what needed to be done and wishing Edward had come on the run with them.

Jake whined painfully before shaking his head, his eyes never opening as he continued to lie on the ground in obvious discomfort. The day passed by and Bella never moved, watching and wishing for a sign or improvement.

Night fell before Edward joined them, overanxious at the long delay.

"Love, is everything okay?" He crooned, stopping next to Bella to hug her firmly

"What's wrong with him, Edward?" Bella asked her husband, scared to touch her best friend in case she hurt him. "He suddenly stopped mid-run and just laid down. He's breathing heavy, but won't phase back or answer me."

After examining the large creature to determine what had happened, Edward carried Jacob back to their house, still unable to determine the cause of Jacob's unresponsiveness. Twenty seven hours passed before Renessme's pleading became too much and Edward called Carlisle to join Bella and his daughter at their own home to examine Jacob as well.

With Renesme weeping at Jake's side, Bella stood twisting her hands over and over again while Carlisle and Edward argued.

"Impossible, Carlisle, this is just impossible!" Edward shouted for tenth time in an hour.

"What do you suggest then, Edward?" Carlisle asked in his ever present voice of reason.

"Can you help him, Carlisle?" Bella finally asked. Despite being present for the entire conversation, she hadn't understood much of the ramblings and theories her husband and father-in-law discussed.

Edward hurried over to his wife and daughter, hugging them tightly as Carlisle explained what both male vampires was happening.

"Energy constantly breaks down to its simplest form. There isn't a thing to stop it from happening eventually. Jacob is still a biological, living creature. He can…could regenerate his cells quickly, enough so that age wouldn't set in. His cells have run their course, though. There isn't anything left to keep them regenerating. Humanity has finally caught up to him and he will age."

"But he's young," Bella argued. "Essentially he stopped aging at twenty five, so he still has quite a few years left, right?"

"If he had stopped phasing years ago, perhaps. It's been centuries though and there just isn't enough energy left to continue this type of life," Carlisle admitted softly, watching his granddaughter begin to shake in distress.

Bella and Renesmee took turns sitting by Jacob's side, each of them mourning in their own way and Edward coming by in bi-hourly intervals to take either his daughter or wife out of the room so that the other could have their private goodbyes. In less than a week's time from when he had collapsed in the field, Jacob withered before the eyes of his best friend and soul mate.

His never reopened his own.

The cruel irony was the attachment between Bella's daughter and best friend. Soul mates were rare and more of an urban legend; a fairy tale to the romantics of the world who never quite finished the story of true love to the end.

Bella's daughter was dead within a month of Jacob's passing. It wasn't from a lack of wanting to live, or a desire to end her own life because her lover was gone.

She, for all that immortality entailed, could not survive without the other half of her soul. Edward and Carlisle argued and discussed it at great length, not that it would help. If any of them, Carlisle and Esme; Rosalie and Emmett; Alice and Jasper; or Edward and Bella, were destroyed, the other would continue to exist. It wouldn't be happy or pleasant, but their bodies would not shut down.

Returning to Washington, Bella insisted on burying Jacob and Renesmee Black in joint plots outside of the reservation. Edward and the rest of the Cullens watched mournfully as their relative was laid to rest in the soggy ground; an empty casket holding the cremated remains of what once was a vampire half-breed and a werewolf. Bella clung to her husband, the distress of having lost her children and best friend over the faulty workings of imprinting too much to bear alone.

After the funeral, Bella pleaded with her husband for a few minutes alone to run through La Push. Technically she wasn't allowed but it had been so long and Jacob had told her the remaining of the pack had died out long ago, not bothering to speak of her ex-husband specifically.

She walked the same cliffs she had tried to take her life from so long ago, noting the subtle changes to the rock formations. Quickly, she turned to the direction of the La Push cemetery, wondering what the pack had decided to do with Anthony.

In an abandoned section, she found the correct grave, sobbing silently and tearlessly at the sight of the broken and cracked headstone, an etching of a large wolf wrapped around another smaller cub with a semi-circular epithet:

A Happy soul that never had the chance to connect

Bella let her fingers trail over the words, her own grief beyond rational thought or words.

"I don't think you're supposed to be here, lady," A young voice spoke up, startling Bella.

Quickly turning, Bella eyed the youngster, her non-existent breath stopping.

The pre-teen was tall and muscular with reddish tinted skin and hair as black as night. When Bella caught his eyes, she almost collapsed, noticing the all too familiar coloring.

Those eyes were grey Lahote.

"Who are you?" She asked in return, feeling as though everything was surreal.

The boy's eyes narrowed quickly in anger. "It's none of your business who I am; I belong here and you don't. Now leave before I tell my father there are trespassers on our lands."

"Is your name…Lahote?" Bella asked fearfully before she could stop herself.

Taking a step away, the boy looked startled. "Not that you need to know, but yes it is." Gazing over her features, the boy's expression halted; morphing from anger, in to shock, and quickly fear. "You're one of them, aren't you? The one grandfather warned us of many years ago…he said you'd come back eventually."

"Is…Paul…is Paul Lahote your grandfather?" Bella asked, knowing even before the boy answered that it was.

His eyes jerked towards a newer portion of the cemetery, his emotions peaking before resuming normal rhythm. "You caused this," the boy spat angrily. "Get the hell off of my lands before they come to kill you. Grandfather spoke of you, but they won't care."

Bella turned to run, angry at herself for ignoring the warnings. She hadn't expected future generations to phase considering the Cullens had yet to live in Forks, but the world had grown in population; both humans and vampires alike.

Edward met her at the border, hastily tugging her into their rented vehicle as the howls began in the distance she had come from. They were gone before the first heavy paw of a wolf could be heard encroaching in on the treaty line designated so long ago.

As the Cullens discussed their next location, Bella sat alone in a corner of the hotel they were presently using, thinking of what Paul had told her the last time they had spoken. Had she stayed, had she been stronger or even tried to accept the circumstances, both she and Paul would have passed away together, leaving children she would have blamed on the imprint.

However, Jacob had imprinted on her daughter and they never had any children of their own; Bella had been wrong. Imprinting wasn't about building a better generation at all; it was about learning to accept what life gave you. Good, bad, or indifferent, the outcome had been hers to determine and she had failed, taking the lives of two children, her own soul and leaving an angry werewolf to continue on anyways, passing his traits to a new generation that always ahd and always would seek out to destroy vampires.

The twisted complexities of her life, both human and now vampire, was more weight than she could bear. Rather than accept what she had been given, Isabella Cullen always sought for something more and greed had robbed of her afterlife that might exist.

The only thing Renesmee had that none of the Cullens did, was a soul; a wicked little thing that Bella had scorned and would pay the price of for the rest of her unnatural life.

WIcked Little Things

cked ittle hings

WI L T

WILT