A/N: I cut out a section in this chapter that includes discussion of a sexual nature. If you wish to read the version with it, you can read it over on AO3 under the penname Snakeofthe80s. Thanks for the continued support and hope everyone is staying well during these crazy times.

Chapter Seven: Upswing

"Lily!" Someone called, startling her awake. "What do you think you are doing?"

"What?" Lily rubbed her eyes and turned onto her back.

Severus was jarred awake; his vision blurred a little.

"What are you doing?" Her mother's eyes were wide with shock.

"What? What's wrong?"

Lily looked over at Severus, who was still groggy, and it hit her why her mother was so angry. "It's not what it looks like, honest!"

Her mother folded her arms with a heavy frown. "Oh?"

"I can explain."

"I'm waiting."

"I came home to an empty room and took off the dress and stuff and sat on the bed. Severus came in. I-I was upset so he wanted to know why. I fell asleep. He did too apparently. Nothing happened. I promise."

"Get out of the bed and come downstairs." She spoke coolly.

Lily nodded and swerved around to plant her feet on the floor. She followed her mother out of the bedroom.

Severus watched her with unease. "This is my fault. She's going to get in trouble and it's my fault for falling asleep beside her while she was lying down. Stupid. What were you thinking?"

Lily looked her mother once they were downstairs. "We didn't do anything. It's not like that at all."

"He's barely been here a week and you sleep in the same bed with him?"

"We fell asleep. That's all. Nothing happened. I don't like him like that. We don't-we don't have that connection-nothing romantic-no love anything. I swear."

Her mother glared at her. "You were supposed to write James back? Did you do that yet?"

Lily let out a huff "No, but-"

"Why didn't you? I mentioned it yesterday. You said he's going away so why wait? Are you starting to like Severus?"

Lily blinked a couple times in shock at her mother's question. "No-no. Of course not. Not at all. I don't like him." She scoffed. "That's ridiculous to even think about. You've seen him. You know him. He's not my type."

"What's your type?" Her mother put her hand on her abdomen.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know-but he's not it."

Her mother let out a heavy breath. "I wouldn't write James until you know for sure what you want."

Lily huffed. "I know what I want. There's nothing between Severus and myself."

Her mother looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Help me put up the wedding favours. It's late and I'm not feeling well."

"Your stomach again?"

She looked at Lily, her lips pursed as if she was on the verge of saying something. Her shoulders dropped slightly. "I just ate something off at the reception, that's all."

"Is the reception over? I didn't think I was asleep that long?"

"No, I left early. Watched them cut the cake, had a few bites, and left." She turned to Lily. "She wasn't happy I left, but I'm also not she made you leave. When she's back from her honeymoon, I plan to have a long chat with her about it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm over it and her." She sighed. "I'll put up the stuff. You can go lay down."

"After you put them up, put on some clothes. Don't go to bed wearing just that and don't you get back in that bed with Severus. If you want a bed, you can sleep in Petunia's or-"

"Mum?"

She looked at Lily with her eyebrows raised.

"I promise you-on my life that we did not anything at all. Not even a kiss. I promise we'll never do anything like that."

Her mother looked at her for a moment with an expression Lily couldn't read.

"What?" Lily gestured her hands palm side up in confusion and shook her head slightly.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep. You know better."

Lily was gobsmacked. "What?"

"Don't make promises you can't keep. You know better."

"What does that mean?"

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "Don't make such a promise if you aren't sure you'll be able to keep it."

"Of course I'll keep it. I like James. He asked me out. I want to go out with him-I do. I don't like him. I like James. "

"You're getting a little defensive."

Lily huffed, "I'm not getting defensive. I'm not making a promise I can't keep."

"Then don't promise such nonsense. You don't know what the future holds for you. Don't make a promise to never be with someone. Now, I'm going to lay down. Stay off the bed with Severus."

Lily watched her mother go up the stairs and refrained from rolling her eyes. "Severus and I doing anything like that would be ridiculous. We'd never work. We're way too different. Friends is one thing, but more than that. No, not possible. Mum's being absurd."

She put away the food from the reception and made started to fix some dinner for Severus and herself.

Same Evening

Lily went into her bedroom and saw Severus sitting up in her bed, reading through a book. She went over to her dresser and got out her night clothes.

"Lily?"

She turned as she shut a drawer.

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

Lily turned to him with a brief grin. "Don't worry about it. It's my fault. I let you use my bed. I shouldn't have been it."

"I can sleep on the floor if you want your bed back."

Lily shook her head. "Nonsense. You need the bed." She sighed. "Mum just panicked, that's all. I mean, she saw us lying in bed together. Her mind just went there, and she panicked. I explained it. She understands."

"I still didn't mean to get you in any trouble."

"I'm fine." She laughed. "Mum told me to be careful. Thinks I like you like that. Isn't that crazy?"

Severus hesitated to answer her, a bit shocked. "Uh, yeah. Crazy." He turned on his side, not wanting to face her.

Lily glanced over at him. He was not looking at her, lying on his side, facing the window. She suddenly felt uncomfortable, like something was nagging at her. She shut down the thought quickly.

She cleared her throat. "I'm going to go-I'm going to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed." She walked past her bed, glimpsing back at him. He had turned onto his back. His eyes were shut, but she doubted he was sleeping.

When she went back to her room, she looked at him again. "If you want, I can sleep in Petunia's room. I mean, if you aren't comfortable with me in here."

Severus opened his eyes. He was not sure what to say to that. He wanted her in here, but yet, he didn't want her to be uncomfortable with him.

"It's whatever you want. I'm not uncomfortable, but if you are, you can sleep in another room. Or I will. This is your room after all. I'll go to your sister's room."

Lily gazed at him in surprise. "You would sleep in my sister's bed?"

"As long as the sheets are clean and she's not in it."

Lily looked at him a moment. Severus watched her and tried to hide a grin. "I'm not uncomfortable."

"I'm not either, but if your mum is, I'll switch rooms."

"It's fine. I'm going to sleep in my sleeping bag on the floor as usual. I don't mind. She just doesn't want me to sleep in the same bed with you." She laughed.

Severus watched her crawl into the bag on the floor and sighed to himself. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her." He thought.

Lily looked over at the window. The pale moon light shone in through the thin curtains that blew in the gentle breeze coming through the crack. A weird sensation churned in the pit of her stomach. Lily turned onto her back and looked at Severus. His back was turned to her but she could see his back moving up and down slightly, but awkwardly as if he was not breathing as well as he should. She hoped his broken ribs would heal soon.

She rolled back over onto her right side with a huff. Closing her eyes, she heard him moan once and glanced up at him. He turned onto his back with his eyes closed and eased his muscles. Lily sighed and turned onto her back. She summoned her ink, quill and journal over. Opening the book, she looked at the last entry she wrote.

James asked me out the day we came home. I've been feeling more and more attracted to him lately. He's grown up quite a bit this past year and has deflated his ego a lot. I think his father's death made him grow up. He's not as bad as I thought he was. I asked mum if it'd be okay to start dating James and she said that would be nice. I am happy to say that I now have my first boyfriend-once I tell him yes that is.

Lily sighed again to herself and began to write in the book on the next blank page.

Since I last wrote in here so much as happened. Severus showed up at my door quite injured. I wasn't sure what to think, but he appeared to be trying to warn me of danger so I felt I needed to help him. I couldn't let him just die. Now I don't know what to think anymore. Mum's sickness seems to have returned. She is nauseous and seems to be having frequent attacks of diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting and having stomach pains constantly. Her flare-ups seem bad these days.

Anyway, back to Severus. I don't know what to think now that he told me what all happened to him. It shocks me still and I don't know why. I guess I just expected him to not care anymore and to be one of them, a Death Eater and join You-Know-Who and his anti-people like me and my family who are muggleborn and muggles. But apparently there's a prophecy stating someone with flaming hair born to muggles at the end of January in 1960 will bear a child who'll defeat him. I do have red hair, was born at the end of January in 1960 to muggle parents so I guess it could be me, but I don't want to believe it. I can't believe it. It just seems crazy to think I would have a child able to defeat someone so powerful. For some reason You Know Who believes it is me and as a result they want me to die. I can't believe that Severus of all people was willing to die before allowing me to be harmed by the very people he wanted to fit in with and all over a silly prophecy. How can I not forgive him? What happened before happened. It's over and done with. It's time to move forward and forgive. Now, we just need to stay alive.

Lily shut the journal and put her ink and quill away. She curled up in her sleeping bag and drifted off to sleep.

Lily woke up the next morning to Severus lying on his back, one hand leisurely on his stomach over her quilt and the other under her pillow. She sighed to herself with a little smile as she rolled up the sleeping bag. She went to her closet and got out a shirt and some jeans, leaving Severus to continue resting.

She combed her wet hair as she entered her bedroom again. Severus was still asleep. Lily thought he looked content and peaceful for once and hoped to herself that if he was dreaming about anything, it would be something pleasant. As she sat down at her lily-white desk, she put up her journal and saw the letter she had started to James more than a week ago.

Lily glanced over the incomplete answer and sighed to herself. As she looked over at Severus and then back at the letter, her stomach twisted as if someone had tied a knot in it. The black ink of the letter seemed to run together and appeared smudged. She swallowed hard, folded the letter with a shaky hand and stuffed it back in the desk drawer with her journal. Her mother was not right. She was not.

Lily put on her makeup and fixed her hair half up before leaving the bedroom. She returned after having some breakfast to find Severus sitting up in bed. After she set the plate of food on the nightstand she sat down at the foot of the bed. She sighed "You seem to be in good spirits. So will you try to eat the bacon sandwich now?" She pointed to the plate she had set on the nightstand.

He grumbled to himself. "Fine. Only because you won't stop pestering me about it until I do."

Lily put her hand on his ankle, and he saw a tiny grin form on her lips as she patted his leg. He tried to not shiver at her touch. "That's my job, didn't you know?" She looked up at his face and glanced into his dark eyes. Severus's breath constricted with her hand still on his lower shin. Why did she have to be so nice, so sarcastic, so smart, so stubborn, so opinionated, and just so beautiful too? Lily swallowed and bit her lip as her heart began to pound a little harder. She tore her gaze away and stood up. "I'm going to check on my mum. She's been in and out of the toilet since last night."

"She's sick?"

"Think her disease is flaring up again."

"That's right. She has, uh, that um, disease."

Lily nodded. "Crohn's. The Healer said she'll be here about 10, so I'd eat some of that sandwich and be ready." She winked at him before leaving the bedroom.

Two Days Later

"Here's some ginger tea, Mum." Lily handed her mother a cup of tea and sat down at the foot of the bed with her.

"Thanks, dear." She took a couple sips and put it down with a groan. "So, how's Severus been? I've seen him moving around much easier. Is he still asleep?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, he was still asleep last I checked." She pulled her left leg up onto the bed and leaned against the bed frame. "He's still in some pain at times and it's hard for him to walk much, but he's getting better slowly. His broken ankle and injured legs do seem to be healing properly."

"Better to break something at your all's age than mine if you must break a bone at all." Lily's mother took another sip of the tea. "So, did you go ahead and write to James or are you going to forget about it?"

Lily let out a huff. "I said I'd do it when he got back."

"Three weeks? Seems a long time to have him wait."

Lily crossed her arms. "Why are you pushing this so hard? Why do you want me with James so much?"

Lily's mother raised an eyebrow. "I'm not pushing. You said you would write to him, didn't you? It only seems polite to give a response one way or the other."

"And I'll give him one...when he gets back."

"So, what all have you and Severus been talking about?"

Lily swallowed her sip of tea hard. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Her mother cleared her throat and set the cup down. "You just seem much more cordial and friendly with each other lately."

"Well, why shouldn't I be?"

"You seem to have forgiven him for whatever caused your friendship to end."

Lily nodded. "Of course. He nearly died trying to save my life. He was going to die rather than let them harm me. How can I not forgive him when he did that?"

Lily's mother coughed, choking a bit on her tea. She forced the cup back on its plate with a loud clink. "He was trying to save your life? You didn't tell me this."

"Well, you know...he did." Lily stirred her tea with a spoon.

"Is that what he told you?"

"No, but it's what he did for me. He doesn't even see it as that. He just said that he couldn't let his best friend-well, former best friend be harmed like that. I mean he was hurt because they wanted to hurt me. They were mad at him for not joining them and blamed me. He said they threatened me and when he told them no, as such, well, you can see they didn't take it well."

"Interesting," She pressed her lips together with a curt nod. "Especially since you went your separate ways last year."

"No, but we were once friends, and he actually apologized and told me he was a lousy friend to me. I forgive him. How can I not?"

Lily's mother cleared her throat again and sighed. "So, he was trying to be a knight in shining armour or prince charming, huh?"

Lily shook her head and scoffed. "No, that's not him. He's not that type of person. I've told you what they think of people like me and some of his friends want to be Death Eaters. They didn't take his rejection well." Lily laughed to herself at the mental image of Severus being a knight. "He just wanted to-he couldn't allow me to be harmed by them. But a knight? No. A friend? Absolutely. I would've done the same in a reverse."

Her mother took another sip. "But you weren't friends then. Yet he still seemed to care enough to risk his life for you?"

Lily shrugged. "Well, I mean," she paused. "Sometimes I wonder the same."

"You know, dear, if that's true then I understand your confusion."

Lily put her cup down and raised her eyebrows. "What confusion?"

"About what to do regarding James Potter."

"What do you mean? I'm not confused." Lily let out a huff at her mother's expression. "I'm not confused."

Lily's mother shook her head. "You aren't, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I wish you'd let this go. I'm going to send a letter to James in a couple weeks when he gets home."

"You like him."

"Yes, I do like James."

"No, dear. You like Severus."

Lily gave her mother a blank stare in shock. "What? Are you crazy? I-I don't. That's not-I don't-not like that."

"Yes, you do, but you don't want to admit it. You like what he did for you. You like him. It's okay."

Lily choked on her sip of tea. "No-as a friend I do, yes, but not like that. Mum, that's-that's crazy."

"Oh? You don't feel anything toward Severus? Not even a little when he risked his life because he cares about you?" Lily gave her mother a side-eye. "It's okay to feel attraction toward Severus, sweetie. It's not like I would say no to that relationship either. You just need to sort out your thoughts before you give James an answer."

She scowled and set her mug down against her bent leg. "But I'm not-I don't-I'm not-I'm not attracted to him. That's just silly."

"Why?"

Lily blew her hair from her face. "I don't know-it just is. Can we talk about something else?"

"No. I want to talk about this. It's important."

Lily let out a huff. "Why? What's important about it? Nothing. What's more important is why you won't see a doctor about your stomach?"

"My stomach is fine. It's just my Crohns flaring up." Her mother cleared her throat, holding her cup. "So, Severus. He likes you."

"I guess so. As a friend."

"It seems quite bold of him to be willing to die for just an old friend, doesn't it?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't he? I'd try to help him too."

"Well, you told me you weren't even talking last year. Though you said it was because you had different classes and just went your separate ways, I knew it was more than that."

Lily's jaw dropped slightly. "What?"

"Lily, darling, I'm not naïve. Something else happened between the two of you. I always figured that if you wanted to tell me you would." Her mother grimaced slightly and shut her eyes and she pressed her free hand into her stomach. "It is possible, yes, that he did so just for an old friend, but is it also possible that he has a thing for you?"

"No." She answered quickly.

"James has had a thing for you for couple years, right? That's what you told me."

Lily shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"And Severus and James have had some run-ins and don't like each other. Do they fight with each other?"

Lily shrugged again. "They used to fight. They don't anymore that I know of."

"But you didn't really like James, but he liked you a lot. Severus was your best friend. I've always felt Severus had a thing for you too."

"Yeah, and? I don't understand what you're trying to say. Severus didn't have a thing for me."

Her mother shook her head. "Sweetie, I love you, but you are a bit naïve."

Lily was taken aback. "What?"

"I think Severus does have a bit of a, shall I say, crush on you. It's quite obvious to me."

"That's ridiculous."

"Really? Why?"

"Because-because we're just friends. That's all."

"And friends of the opposite gender can't like each other as more than friends ever?"

Lily frowned and let out a heavy huff. "They also don't have to like each other that way either."

"Look, honey, all I'm saying is that if Severus and James both like you and knew the other liked you too, I could see some jealousy issues pop up and that could be a big reason why James and Severus don't like each other. Severus probably feels James has a better chance with you and James probably felt like you liked Severus more because you were friends before last year."

"James asked me out. He made his feelings obvious. Severus never told me he liked me or showed me he did so that's silly."

Her mother shook her head. "You've known Severus for several years, Lily. Even I know that he's not an emotional person at all. If he didn't know you liked him back, he wouldn't dare tell you he liked you and wanted to be more than friends. You know Severus. You know he's not the type to be so open about something so personal."

Lily sunk back slightly against the bed frame and stared at her mug for a moment before glancing her eyes back up are her mother. "You think he actually does like me? As more than a friend? You think that's why he did what he did? To try and help me?"

Her mother sighed. "You want me to make you feel better about your dilemma or do you want the truth?"

Her heart dropped into her stomach. "What am I going to do?"

"Regarding Severus or James or both?"

Lily looked at her mother. "I don't know." She sighed.

"About dating James because you are starting to like Severus?"

Lily sat up straighter. "I didn't say that."

"Doesn't mean anything. I think it's what you mean."

Lily folded her arms under her breasts and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "You can't read my mind. I hate when you try."

"No, but I know a little about my own child. Just think about your own feelings and whether they are real or in the moment before you make any decisions."

Lily sighed to herself and got off the bed. "I'm going to go. I think I'll go start on some of my summer assignments."