Twilight is the property of it's respective owner

Warning

This story is rated 'M' for Strong Language and Sexual Adult Themes

Chapter One

As she sat Indian style on her father's bedroom floor, flipping through the old, worn out photo album, she instantly revisited the childhood that she left behind so many years ago.

The old, tinged photograph that caught her attention took her way back, to the beginning of their friendship.

"When I grow up, I'm gonna marry you."

"Okay. But, do we have to kiss?"

"I dunno. I don't think so."

"Well, don't grownups kiss? My mommy kisses my daddy. And, they do it all the time."

"Yeah, but we aren't grow ups."

"But we will be when we get married, silly."

"But you're my friend, Peaches. Friends do not kiss each other."

"Why not?"

"Uh, I dunno."

"So, we'll get married, but no kissing?"

"Yeah. Just like that."

"What if I want to kiss you?"

"That's so gross! Kissing girls is so gross! Girls have cooties."

"I don't have cooties!"

"Not you. Girls."

"I am a girl, silly."

"Yeah, but you're my best friend. So, no kissing."

"You are so weird, Squints."

"Nuh uh! You're weird. You wanna kiss me!"

"So weird."

"Whatever, Peaches."

"Can we at least hold hands?"

"Okay. Let's hold hands."

"When we're married?"

"Yeah, that too."

"Okay."

"Why do you call me Squints?"

"Your glasses."

"What about my glasses? They're cool."

"I know. But, you do that funny thing with your eyes."

"It's called squinting."

"See. That's why, Squints."

"Oh. Okay."

"Why do you call me Peaches?"

"Cause you always smell like peaches."

"It's cause the soap my mom gave me."

"I know. It's peaches, Peaches."

"I love you, Squints."

"Me too, Peaches."

"You, me best friends forever. Ever and ever, best friends forever"

"Ditto."

She smiled as the memory came flooding back of that breezy summer day, sitting by the lake with her best friend.

Flipping through more pages, she came across a few more photos that elicited a ping of sadness in her heart.

"Squints… we're moving."

"W…what? Why?"

"My Dad got a job."

"He has a job here!"

"I know. Calm down."

"This isn't fair, Peaches."

"I know. It's crap."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I dunno, Squints."

"C'mere, Peaches. Don't cry."

"But I'll miss you. You're my best friend. This is crap."

"Maybe you can move in with us."

"Already asked. My parents said no. I'm only twelve, Squints."

"So what? My mom loves you."

"I love her too. I hate mine right now."

"Don't be like that, Peaches. They love you."

"If they loved me, they'd let me stay."

"I know. It's not fair."

"What am I going to do without you, Squints?"

"I'll always be here."

"But I won't."

She smiled meekly, remembering that sad day all those fourteen years ago. God, she missed him.

Sitting back, flipping through more of her childhood, some with him and some without him, she couldn't remember a time when they were ever apart from one another.

She had missed so many years being separated from him. She wondered how he's changed, if he ever got married, or if he had children now.

They had only spoke on phone a handful of times the first year that she moved away. After that first year, she tried to contact him, even doing a Google search of his name, coming up empty handed. Every time she called the number on the brown lunch bag that he wrote it down on, it said the same thing. The number had been disconnected. The letters she'd written to him had all been returned. On the front of each returned envelope it read 'Not At This Address'. She even tried to call 411, using his mother's last name, but nothing showed up in their system. It was like they'd vanished. Still, she'd never forget that last phone.

"So, is it getting any better?"

"It's sucks, Squints. It really, really sucks."

"Why?"

"It's still too hot, the bugs are still disgusting and, everywhere I look, I still see cactus. I hate it!"

"Have you made any friends at all?"

"No one like you. I think they all hate me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not like the rest of the girls, Squints. You should see them. The girls care more about their clothes and the boys, well, they're too busy trying to find someone to feel up. I hate it here."

"I miss you, Peaches."

"I miss you too, Squints. I want to come home. Come rescue me."

"I would if I could, Peaches."

"Why do you sound so sad, Squints?"

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Something?"

"My mom has a new boyfriend."

"Do you like him?"

"He's okay. She's just always with him. I don't have you and I don't have her anymore. It's stupid."

"No it's not, Squints. You matter too, you know."

"He has a son. He's two years older than me."

"Is he cool?"

"He's alright. He's big. Too big."

"Whad'ya mean?"

"Nothing. He just looks swollen, like, his whole body."

"Yuck."

"I gotta go, Peaches. My mom's calling me for dinner."

"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tommorow."

"You, me best friends forever. Ever and ever, best friends forever."

"Ditto."

"Miss you, Squints."

"Love you, Peaches."

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she ran her finger over the washed out photo. A photo that would always remind her of the first time her heart ever broke.

"There you are."

"I was just going through some old albums," she said, looking up at her father who looked beat to all hell.

As he walked over further, he looked down at the open section of the faded album.

"Ahh. You two were always joined at the hip. Your mother said that you two reminded her of Siamese cats. She said that you both were one heart, one soul. I never understood it, though. But, she did."

Choking back the emotions, she looked up at her dad and smiled, closing the photo album. "Are we ready to go?" she asked, getting up off the floor.

"Yep. I think so."

"Okay then. You know how mom was about us always being late. She'd probably be pissed if we were late for this," she chuckled even though the gesture was anything but joyous.

"Sweetheart, she loved you. You know that?"

"I know she did, Dad. It just pisses me off that she left so soon," she said, sniffling back the tears that had begun to fall. "She was too damned young."

"I know baby. I know," her dad replied, taking his daughter in his arms. "We should go."

xXx

After her mother died, her father decided to stay in Forks indefinitely, seeing as though her mother had stipulated that she wanted to be buried alongside her own mother and father when she passed.

Her father didn't think twice about the move, saying that he needed to be close to the love of his life, even if she was gone. He'd said that at least living in Forks he'd be able to bring her flowers every Saturday and lay them on her headstone.

A few days after her mother's death, her father bought back the home they'd moved from fourteen years earlier. It was a miracle that it was even up for sale at the same moment he was looking for a place. A few days later they had Renee's body flown out.

As they weaved their way through the familiar streets, she felt her heart clench remembering the many buildings she had been to so many times as a child. Like the time when her mom took them to the ice cream shop. That thought alone made her chuckle out loud.

"What's so funny over there?" her father asked, nudging at her arm.

"Oh, nothing. Just remembering when mom took us to get ice cream. She about had a fit."

The memory of that rushed her.

"I want chocolate!"

"I want bubblegum!"

"You hate bubblegum."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Dooo tooo!"

"I hate you, Squints!"

"I hate you too, Peaches!"

"What's wrong?"

"He says I hate bubblegum and I don't. I love it!"

"Then get bubblegum."

"But she hates it."

"I do not!"

"Dooo tooo!"

"I really hate you, Squints!"

"You do not, Peaches. You hate bubblegum!"

"For the love of all things simple! Just pick a fricken' flavor and get over it, you two! Shit!"

"What's wrong with your mommy, Peaches?

"I dunno, Squints."

"Peaches, your mom said a bad word."

"I know, Squints. She owes us a dollar."

When the memory faded, she couldn't help the tears that poked at her lids as she leaned her head against the cool glass of the car's window.

"She was so pissed. I bet she would've liked to have rung our necks for that stunt."

"I think she wanted to do more than ring your necks," her dad said with a smile, his eyes rimmed red from all the crying he'd done all morning. "You two together were always a handful. Kept us on our toes. His mom wasn't all too please with the two of you either. She said that she instantly sprouted grey hair when you two were together."

"Oh yeah!" she said. "I swear that woman wanted to beat us both."

Another memory made her laugh out loud.

"That is so gross!"

"Is not!"

"Is so! It looks…it looks like piece of wrinkled sausage. But not as brown as a sausage. Does it have an eye? Can it see me?"

"I dunno."

"That thing is creepy."

"No it's not. Now let me see yours."

"Um, no."

"Hey! That's no fair! I showed you mine, Peaches, now show me yours. You promised!"

"So bossy. And, no. Again."

"Why not? I bet you don't even have one."

"Do so."

"Do not."

"Do so!"

"Then show me."

"Fine, Squints! Here!"

"W...what the heck is that, Peaches?"

"It's my lily."

"Your what?"

"My lily."

"Lily? Like the flower?"

"Yup!"

"That ugly thing does not look like a lily."

"I don't care. My mom calls it a lily, so, it's a lily."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Somethin's wrong with it!"

"What!"

"Holy cow…it's broken! Mom! Mom!"

"Hold your horses! I'm coming!"

"Hurry Mom! Hurry!"

"Okay, okay, what is….what the hell are you two doing in here!"

"Her wiener is broken! Look at it! It broke off!"

"Am I gunna die? I don't wanna die!"

"Oh, dear Jesus!"

"Please fix her, Mom! I don't want my best friend to die cause her wiener is broken."

"Pull em' up and come with me, you two. I'll get you some snacks and…we'll talk about this."

"Just fix her, Mom. You fix everything. We might need Elmer's glue."

"Yeah! What he said!"

"You two are going to be the death of me."

As she and her father pulled into the parking lot of the church her mother had attended as a child, she noticed the many cars parked in the lot. Did my mom know this many people? Jesus, did we make enough potato salad?

Walking through the church doors sent chills crawling up and down her skin. God, I hate this part. I need to be anywhere but here right now.

Slipping through the doors, she was met by faces she hadn't seen in over a decade, all of which she didn't recognize. All eyes were on her and her father as they made their way down the center isle of the church. She felt uncomfortable, worn, and aged. Please, floor. Open up and swallow my ass whole. For sucks sake, someone get me the fuck out of here. I hate this shit.

As she inched her way closer to the open casket, she saw her mother's sister, Charlotte.

"C'mere, sweet girl," her aunt said with open arms.

Immediately, the flood gates opened.

"I can't believe she's gone, Aunt Lolly." The tears were effectively in full swing. "I fucking miss her so much."

"I know," her aunt said, embracing her niece tighter. "I miss her too."

"Why does God take such good people? My mom never did any harm."

"Look at me," Charlotte said, taking her nieces face in her hands. "God takes everybody, sweet girl. He just so happened to need your mom right now because his house needed more angels. She's not hurting anymore. We need to rejoice in that. You're mom's not hurting anymore."

She knew that she sounded like a petulant child, kicking and screaming, but she didn't give a rat's ass. Her mother was gone, ripped from her life, taken too soon.

As her aunt held her, the memory of that day came hurling back.

"Come sit with me, sweetheart."

"You can't leave me, Mom. This isn't fair."

"Don't cry, baby."

"It's kinda hard not to. I'm losing my mother and it isn't fucking fair."

"It's okay to be angry, sweetheart. Lord knows I am. I'm so angry at my body for getting sick and giving up."

"How could this have happened? This isn't how it should be. Not now. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, Mom."

"Shhh…I know, sweetheart. I'm not ready to leave you either, or your dad. But, I guess it's my time."

"It hurts so bad."

"Sweetheart, listen to me. If it wasn't by the grace of God, I wouldn't have had you. I wouldn't have had all the years of memories I've had with you and your father. This body was only on loan to me. It was never mine to keep forever. I was given this body to do some good on this earth and, you know what? I think I did as well as I could. I raised you to be a beautiful, successful, amazing woman. You have always, always been the best thing that's ever happened in this life of mine. You are my life, sweetheart. The best part of it. Don't you ever forget that."

"I hate this."

"I have had so many wonderful, fulfilling years on this earth. You and your father, well, you two were the absolute best things to come out of it. Anything else, well, they were all fillers. Besides, I know you'll be okay. Just promise me one thing, baby."

"What's that, Mom?"

"Don't cry over this for too long. Live your life to the fullest. Find love and fall in love. Make a gazillion babies, nurture them and love them, and please, watch over your father. He's going to need you."

"I promise."

"I love you. More than you'll ever know."

"I love you too, Mom. So much."

"I'm tired, baby. Can you please send in your dad? I need to see his face. I need to sleep."

That memory was engrained in her memory, staking claim, and making a nice cushy home in her mind, with the promise to never die or fade away. She would always remember the day she watched her father crawl in that hospital bed with the only woman he'd ever loved, kiss her tenderly on the lips, and wept for dear life as her own slipped from her body. This memory would never subside.

Her eyes flickered open and adjusted as reality crept its way back up, realizing that today was the day she was burying the woman she had always admired.

Pulling away from her aunt, she padded her way to the front of the church, standing at the podium, next to her mother's enlarged photo, and cleared her throat as she spoke into the microphone.

"If everyone could please take a seat, I'd like to say a few words about my mother. Renee Swan."

Well, there you have the first chapter of 'Maybe This Time'. Hope you liked it!

Until next time...

OzellaMarie