A/N:

Please note that this post contains mature sexual content, and is rated M.

Neither the characters nor Castle are mine. I write solely for pleasure. Katewreck (part one) takes place after Killshot (4.09) and there are no spoilers herein beyond that episode.

Kate thought she had been ready to let go, but that had not been the case.

She had evaded a second sniper, this time without life-threatening injury thanks to Esposito. It was sheer luck that she was alive at all after all she had been through. She felt as if she might have nine lives. The euphoria that flowed through her now was something she kept hidden from others, including Castle. It was an inappropriate emotion…erratic, somewhat unkind to the tragedy of the events that had led up to it, and it felt wrong to her. But the feeling was like nothing she had ever felt before. It was exciting, and she felt headstrong and confident in a manner that she had never before experienced.

Although the surrounding precincts were replete with homicide cases, all was quiet around the 12th. It was Christmas Eve, which added to the quiet. People wanted to be with their families.

Kate came into the office early as usual and had plenty of time to sweat in the gym, shower, and get dressed before settling in to tasks more mundane than her usual fare in the deserted building. Castle, not needing to be around to shadow her during these less busy times, showed up anyway, a cup of coffee in each hand and a sweet smile on his face.

She greeted him warmly, rising from her chair and kissing his cheek, an act he still was not used to but regarded as a very welcome new addition to their morning routine together. Also welcome to his delighted eye was the burgundy skirt Kate was wearing, the hem flaring flirtily over the top edge of her tall, leather boots. With heels slightly higher than usual, her lips rested on his cheek when she kissed him, rather than her having to strain ever so slightly upward for them to reach their destination. The black blouse she wore had a cowl neckline with a mid-chest perch. She lingered briefly, the warmth of her breath caressing his neck. Beneath his navel, his belly stirred.

It wasn't just a change in wardrobe or sudden open closeness toward Castle that was different about her. All was not perfect, all was not entirely well, but Castle was happy to see her this morning without the darkness that lately encircled her eyes, as if she had had little sleep. He knew that some nights she was out late. One insomnia riddled late evening as he had been walking the streets of Tribeca, Castle had seen Kate getting into a taxi just outside of a club very near his condo. Kate had no idea that he had seen her.

She had also been drinking heavily some nights. On a late evening a couple of weeks after the second sniper almost took her life, Kate had called Rick at 2am, her speech slurred and incoherent. Unable to understand her, he drove to her place immediately, finding her door unlocked. Inside the apartment, Kate was sitting on the floor, leaning against her couch. An empty whisky bottle lie next to her and she looked disheveled. He had taken care of her that night, ignoring her fingers softly grazing his flesh near the top button of his jeans as he helped her into her bed. He swelled quickly at her touch and cursed his arousal. She had passed out the moment he lay her down. Castle crashed on her couch, ignoring the pressing temptation to take himself in hand.

Late that next morning, Kate had woken him up. She had two coffee cups and presented him with one as she sat in the chair next to him. He sat up. They spoke simultaneously:

"You okay?"

"Rick—I'm so sorry…"

They both grinned, but Kate's face fell as her gaze found the floor.

"You don't need to apologize," Castle said, smiling, consoling her. Kate had called him by his first name, something that had not gone unnoticed by either of them. His smile permeated his voice. "I'm glad you called," he said softly. He paused. "Do you remember anything?" he asked.

Kate hesitated.

"No. I remember calling you. I remember you opening the door. That's pretty much it."

"I mean…I mean do you remember when you started to drink last night?" The concern in his voice was apparent.

Kate rose from the chair and walked across the living room to the kitchen, her back to him. After pausing for a few moments over the stove, she called over her shoulder as she reached into the refrigerator. "Do you like eggs?" she asked.

They made breakfast and ate together. Nothing more was said. He had wanted to reach for her hand as they sat at the table, but the fear of her rejecting his touch stopped him. Silence was oddly comforting at that moment, for both of them.

As he was leaving her apartment soon after, he turned to face her in the doorway. She stepped toward him to kiss him on the cheek, but he put his hands on her shoulders, stopping her.

"Kate, I'm concerned about you."

She pulled back from him, twisted the doorknob, and opened the door.

"Thank you, Castle, but I'm fine." It was his cue to leave, but he lingered…a silent presence.

"I'm FINE," she repeated. "I will see you later."

He had not waited for another offer of an affectionate goodbye. He knew it wasn't coming. Smiling as best he could, he stepped out into the hallway and Kate shut the door behind him. His shoulders sank as he left for home.

He knew from experience that she would pull back for a few days, then return into his life with her touch, her laughter, her smile…when it was convenient for her. And he would be there when she was ready.

Does that make me a fool? he wondered. At this point, he did not care.

After that night, back inside his condo and alone, he allowed his mind to wander over the more pleasant aspects of her change in demeanor, to think about the way Kate would lean into him when they were standing near each other, even sometimes when on a case; the way she now looked at him occasionally with those stunning brown eyes, as if there was no question that she desired him; the way she grasped his hand and held it briefly when he least expected it. Castle tried to focus on those things rather than the nagging voice in his head telling him that this was not his Kate.

Captain Gates had noticed her behavior as well. At first, Gates would stare at the two of them, clearly letting them know that she did not like how openly cozy they had become. Then one morning, Gates had stepped out of the elevator and into full view of Kate's lips on Castle's cheek. She had walked up to them and cleared her throat loudly, saying nothing. After a long moment of uncomfortable silence and exchanged glares between her and Kate, the Captain strode to her office, clearly pissed off.

Kate had disregarded Gates, showing her little of the respect she normally had for her boss. Castle was surprised enough by that, but when the Captain had finally confronted Kate behind the closed doors of her office, Kate had raised her voice and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. It was a moment Rick would rather have forgotten. Kate walked past Castle and had left the building. After exchanging raised eyebrows with Ryan and Esposito, Castle left as well, trying to track her down on the phone. She never picked up.

The next morning, he brought her coffee and she acted as if nothing had happened, although she did glance around to be sure the Captain was nowhere in sight before kissing his cheek. When he asked her what the Captain had said, she refused to talk about it and changed the subject.

On this particular morning, however…on this Christmas Eve, the precinct was deserted and the Captain was out of the state visiting family. Without any pressing cases, Ryan and Esposito were also absent, enjoying the time off. Surrounding floors of the building had skeleton crews of the necessary police officials and beat cops for the 12th, but the floor of the homicide unit was empty.

Being alone with Kate at the precinct was presently much more comfortable for Castle. As she sat down at her computer with a small stack of papers, he could still feel moisture from her breath on his neck, and the remains of the electricity that had surged much lower within him.

Castle gathered his composure and sat down next to her.

"I can't wait to get out of here today," she said as she turned to face her computer.

"Oh really? What better, praytell, does a hot homicide detective have to do on a quiet Monday than mundane paperwork?" She swung her chair around to face him and crossed her legs slowly.

"It's so quiet, and it's Christmas Eve, Castle. I'll be done and out of here by lunchtime unless all hell breaks loose." He noticed how playful she was when she talked to him, and how easily she smiled lately.

"And can I expect you at dinner tonight?" He had asked her several times to join him, his mother, and Alexis, and each time her answer had been kind, but vague. She said nothing at first, sitting back in her chair, an almost mischievous look on her face. She was definitely up to something. Finally, she spoke.

"Yes, I would love to come to dinner with your family...but only if you agree to come out with me later on tonight." The electricity in her gaze was inescapable.

"On Christmas Eve? What's open? The theater?" Castle was incredulous, but certainly intrigued.

She leaned forward and placed her hand on top of his. His fingers rose to meet her caress. She looked up at him. "I know a place," she said. Their touch lingered. He could feel the blood pumping through him. It made him warm, and he was aware of each beat of his heart. He agreed to Kate's plan.

Preparations for dinner eventually called Castle away, and Kate joined him and his mother and daughter at their condo later as planned. He loved having her there to join them, and she seemed to enjoy herself as well, even moreso than usual. She smiled and laughed easily. Although his mother really enjoyed Kate's company, he could tell from her body language that she sensed something wasn't right. He ignored the thought and looked forward instead to his post-Christmas Eve dinner with Kate.

Glowing with the warmth of the bottles of wine that had flowed throughout dinner, Kate and Castle stepped out into the abnormally quiet streets of New York City, late at night on Christmas Eve. A gentle snowfall greeted them, puffy flakes that seemed to float as they fell, dampening any sound that threatened to penetrate the stillness surrounding them. He offered his arm and she took it.

"So….just where are you taking me?" he asked.

"You'll see," she replied, smiling.

They took a taxi to an old neighborhood with a mixture of brownstones and storefronts. She led them to the tallest brownstone on the street. As they approached the front door, a staircase emerged to their left, leading down. At the bottom of the stairs, a dark red door with a small window was illuminated. Kate knocked. The small window slid open.

"What difference is there between a glass of absinthe and a sunset?" Kate uttered. Castle was intrigued with the use of the famous quote as a password. The door opened for them and they walked inside.

Castle was surprised that the vestibule had no one inside. No doorman, no bouncer. He looked down for a trapdoor. Who had let them in? It remained a mystery as she took his hand and led him through an empty hallway and into a massive, dimly lit room with soft red lighting.

Warmth and a subtle aroma of spice flooded their senses. Castle immediately felt relaxed, almost lightheaded. Music pulsed seductively, coursing through him. The periphery of the room was lined with intimate C-shaped booths for two, each one with a circular table. Dark red tabletops were softly backlit, casting the drinks set upon them in a black shadow. Outlines of martinis, cordials, lowballs, highballs, and wine glasses adorned the tables. Castle's attention was drawn to the people in the room.

He had heard of places like this, but had never before encountered one. It wasn't for lack of trying. His writer's mind desired more knowledge of dark, hidden, unmarked places such as these and the people therein. He knew that they were likely wealthy, attractive, and highly secretive, and he knew it was very difficult to find one, much less to gain entry. His senses were heightened, his curiosity at it's highest level.

He wanted to know how the hell Kate came to know this place so well.

As he followed Kate through the cavernous space, his eyes fell on the dance floor. Beautiful men and women cast shapely shadows in the dim light, adorning every inch of the floor, moving in slow, seductive time. Kate stopped at a booth and they sat down. He had so many questions but had the sense that asking too many of them might be unwise. She was showing him a side of her he had never known.

She ordered drinks from the quiet, handsome waiter, who returned with small, oddly shaped glasses filled with a small amount of green liquid.

"What is this?" Castle asked her.

"Absinthe," she replied. The waiter placed a small, silver spoon with slots over the top of the glass, and then, setting a sugar cube on top of the spoon, poured ice water over it from a silver pitcher. The waiter and Kate nodded at each other before he left the table. Kate and Castle toasted each other and took a sip. He had never tried absinthe before. The pleasant liquid was warm as it coursed down his throat, despite the addition of cold water. He liked the added relaxation he felt after just a small amount. They both sipped it very slowly.

"So, do you come here often?" Castle's cheesy pick-up line broke their silence, and she giggled. She also picked up on his hidden meaning.

"This place gives me an escape." She was choosing her words carefully. "No one knows anyone here, and that's the way everyone likes it."

Sitting closely together so that he could feel the warmth of her thigh down the length of his, she put her hand on his knee.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea." She turned to face him fully.

He wasn't sure if she was talking about their current surroundings or their relationship. He decided again not to ask more questions, at least not yet.

They talked about everything else but where they were and the bad times she had gone through. His ability to make her laugh easily thrilled him. He loved pulling out a side of her that had not come so easily in the past. It was as if her previous barriers had dissolved. She was warm with her eyes, her voice, and her touch.

They began to talk about his writing. Kate brought up his first book, how she had devoured it, read it again, and still went back to it from time to time. She became quiet and lowered her gaze before meeting his eyes again.

"I loved your books long before we met. You know that, but I have never actually told you so." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, softly. Her hair grazed his ear as she sat back, and he reached out with his fingertips, brushing it back off of her face.

The music suddenly stopped and the club was thick with a silent energy foreign to Castle. After a few moments, the silence was penetrated by a few bars of two simple notes on a piano. The deliberately sultry beat that followed trembled, yet flowed smoothly. A female voice breathily told a story as the music unfolded.

Kate clasped Castle's hand and whispered in his ear.

"Come dance with me." She did not wait for him to respond, rising from the table and pulling him up with her. Almost casually, she made her way to the dance floor, walking in time to the deliberately heavy beat.

Castle exhaled slowly as Kate faced him, pressing her body against his and placing his hands on her hips. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, swaying back and forth with the music. He moved to match her, his hands moving up to her waist. They lingered in unison of motion until Kate slowly turned to face away from him without putting any distance in between them. She leaned into him, her head tilting back, and the curve of her ass skimmed his upper thighs as they moved together. His arms encircled around her completely and she pressed into him more forcefully in response. He was intoxicated with her, with this night, with the thought of where it might be headed.

The music slowly tapered off as the song ended, and Kate turned to face him again. He took her into his arms. The desire in her eyes was unmistakable. He kissed her lips, softly and slowly, then tasted her mouth deeply. She responded passionately. They lingered on the dance floor as the next song began, losing themselves in each other. She pulled back slightly and whispered into his ear, "Let's go."

It was 2AM. Back on the street outside the club, Kate took Castle's hand. He was about to ask her if she would be willing to spend the night with him at the condo when a dark figure approached them. His intentions were clearly unkind. Kate's response was pure fire and anger.

"What the hell do you want?" She yelled at him. The man emerged into the light from the street. He was dirty, unkempt, and he had a gun. Castle was startled with her brusque confrontation.

"I want your money, your phones, jewelry. Everything! No messing around!" He was hyperventilating, his hand shaking. Castle could tell he had probably never fired a gun before. He started to empty his pockets, but Kate stood defiant. She was still and said nothing.

"Just give him what he wants," Castle urged. The man with the gun was agitated and upset, a ticking time bomb, Castle thought.

"Listen to your boyfriend, bitch!" Kate made a motion as if she was frantically reaching into her pockets. Then suddenly, she leaned back and kicked hard at the man's face. The heel of her boot connected directly with his nose. He dropped the gun and screamed as blood squirted from his face. He ran away in agony.

Castle took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Kate laughed as the sound of the man's footfalls disappeared.

"You okay, Castle?" She kept giggling. Her nonchalance surprised him. She took his hands into hers and swung him around. "Everything's okay! That guy wouldn't have known how to fire a gun anyway." He stood incredulous, watching as she almost skipped over to the gun and grabbed it, her hands covered with the gloves she always kept in her coat pocket. She shoved it in a small bag.

"Guess what?" She said, sounding elated. "I have to file a report now. I guess I have work to do on Christmas Eve after all!"

Castle was too startled to give her a sad glance, though a slight sadness was what he was feeling at that moment.

"It isn't a problem. We're blocks away from the precinct," she said. He was still trying to catch his breath. She softened. "Come with me." She stood in front of him and put her arm around his waist, pressing into him. "It will only take a second, then we can continue our evening."

Castle hesitated, then nodded. Everything about this evening had been strange so far…really amazing, somewhat weird, and now really awful. But the energy between him and Kate on this night still pulsed through him hotly. It seemed to be surging through her still.

Within ten minutes they were inside the precinct, now even quieter than it had been before. Kate slipped away briefly to the evidence room to deposit the gun. Castle caught his breath and let go of the the fright from moments before, allowing warm inebriation and the pleasure of having been so intimate with Kate that evening to creep back into his psyche. He sat on the edge of her desk, waiting….expecting her to sit at the computer and fill out some paperwork when she returned.

He could hear her footfalls approaching from the hallway. The moments leading up to dancing with her at the club were suddenly palpable. He relived them. Everything slowed down, her audible steps now matching the slow, forceful, pulsing music in his head.

Kate rounded the corner, her hair flowing, her skirt matching her rhythm fluidly. Her eyes were focused on Castle. As she approached, she walked at a slightly faster pace, as if she were moving toward something she desperately wanted.

Her momentum did not stop when she reached him. When her footfalls ended, her body crushed into him and her lips found his. She kissed him hard, with a passion even stronger than before. They delved into each other's mouths. Castle's tongue lingered longer than hers. Kate responded by pulling his tongue lightly into her mouth and sucking on it, rippling hers around his. She inhaled deeply, using him as her vessel for breath. Below, he swelled, and her body responded by pressing into him harder.

Kate pulled Castle from the desk and onto his feet, still kissing him. She parted from his lips and nuzzled his neck. Turning him around, she stopped him in front of the armless chair at her desk. "Sit down," she whispered softly. He sat slowly, not knowing what to expect. His blood was pulsing warmth through every part of him. Kate placed her right foot on the edge of the chair and with mild force, shoved it into the wall behind him. The slight impact aroused him further. With the back of the chair against the wall, he wasn't going anywhere.

She stopped in front of him and his hands found her hips. His eyes never left hers. Her body hovered over him as she hiked her skirt up slightly, and parted her legs. She rested on top of him, facing him as he sat in the chair. He hardened in a way that made him feel more alive than he had ever been. Pressing into her, he could feel the contour of her between her legs, even fully clothed. For the first time, he thanked God he wasn't any younger, for the moment surely would have ended quickly.

Castle exhaled slowly as Kate moved above him, trying to calm himself. He wanted her badly, his center pulsing with raw desire, and his body was working hard to make him think of nothing else.

Even though they were alone, thoughts of being discovered inside the precinct and what that might mean for them, for her, for her career, made him shift his position. He stilled her hips with his hands.

Breathlessly, he said, "Kate, what if we get caught?" This was reckless, just as she had been reckless with the gunman earlier in the evening. But Kate was on fire.

Ignoring his concern, Kate leaned her head back and pressed her clothed flesh into him once more. She moaned. Castle tried to convince himself to hold back, to resist, but he could not. His hands found her hips again and he matched the force of her thrust with his own. She gasped and looked down at him. He felt the pressure of his confinement release as she unzipped his pants and deftly found him with her hands. The warmth of her long, thin fingers surrounded him, pulling him into the open, grasping as his length. Her thumb found moisture at the tip of him and softly rubbed it around. It was his turn to moan.

His hands pushed her skirt up her thighs even further, and his fingers swept silky fabric aside. He used them to find her lips and slipped into their beginnings, just barely. She gasped as he found her center, swollen with her arousal.

The fire consumed them both. As she held him steady beneath her, he grasped her hips again with both hands and guided her over him. Her soft, wet warmth caressed him for a brief moment before they both thrust forward. Castle was deep inside of Kate, feeling her moist softness strongly surrounding him. They both tried not to be audible, but as Kate rode him, neither of them could contain their cries. Kate came hard and fast. She called out to him.

She called him Rick.

As her flesh pulsed around him, he could not hold back. Groaning with pleasure, he came in waves that lasted, a reflection of how long he had waited for this moment. Kate's hips moved against him until he signaled his final moment, coming a second time with her final thrusts.

He pulled her into his chest and held her tightly. They caught their breath. He kissed her face, her lips, her eyes.

After several minutes, Kate rose from the chair and rearranged her clothing. Castle did the same. Having lost himself completely as they made love, he was again fully aware of where they were and what it would mean if someone saw them. Moments later, with a shared sense of urgency, they were back outside on the sidewalk in front of the 12th.

"I should go home," she said. He could feel his heart sink. It wasn't enough for him. He didn't want the night to end yet.

The snow was still falling. He pulled her to him and kissed her after they had walked aimlessly away from the precinct. She responded just as passionately as she had before, pressing into him again, tugging at him with her hand. She wanted him again, too.

"Come home with me tonight," he asked her. Kate pulled away a bit. They walked further, hand in hand, but at a distance. Silence and a few moments passed. She stopped and turned to face him.

Finally, she asked him. "Why don't you come home with me?"

The moment they entered Kate's apartment, she led Castle to the shower and began to remove his clothes. Even though they had just shared the utmost intimacy, they still had not seen each other fully undressed. It should have felt awkward to him to have her gaze at him completely naked, but it did not. The shower warmed up as they caressed each other, then stepped inside.

Kate lathered his body and explored every part of him with her hands. Castle could hardly believe how perfect her touch was, and he quickly stiffened again.

It was his turn. He took one of her nipples into his mouth, gently sucking it while he teased her between her legs. The warm water coursed over them. She called out, much louder than before, anchoring her right foot higher up on the wall to allow him to explore her more deeply.

Kate brought him to his feet and they stepped out of the shower quickly, not bothering to towel off. Castle wanted to be inside her again so badly. He picked her up, carried her to her bedroom and placed her on the edge of the bed.

She rose and exchanged places with him, insistant He soon experienced the familiarity of having her facing him, on top of him as he was seated. She kissed him hard and he responded by sucking on her tongue the way she had sucked on his before. Her hips thrust into his torso in response. Castle could wait no longer. He steadied himself and plunged inside of her, once again guiding her with his hands on her hips. Kate cried out again, a moan of extreme pleasure. He sucked on her nipples as she rose and fell, and she came, her orgasm long and loud.

They paused, kissing, catching their breath. Kate began to move her hips again. She was in control. Her orgasm, feeling her pulse and tug while she surrounded him, had brought him close to the brink again. He wanted their lovemaking to last longer this time.

Taking control for himself, he put his arms around her body and rolled her onto her back. On top of her, still inside her, he took her hand and they intertwined fingers. With his other hand, he gently bent one of her knees and drew her leg up against him. His next thrust went deeply inside of her. He could feel her grasping him inside with each thrust. Lasting longer was not going to happen. He let go, and she came with him, each calling out, neither of them holding back their passion. He had watched her come, and now he watched her as her breathing returned to normal.

He held Kate as she fell asleep.

Castle himself entered a deep sleep, replete with dreams of dark places, strife, passion, joy, and then deep sorrow. He awoke from a nightmare many hours later. Disoriented and covered in sweat, he threw back the covers. Kate wasn't in bed. He looked at his phone for the time, noting a couple of text messages from Alexis and his mother. It was 10am on Christmas day.

They were only dreams, he told himself. He took a few deep breaths.

"Kate?" he called out.

There was no reply. There were no sounds of showering from the bathroom. He thought perhaps she had stepped out to get groceries for breakfast. He rose from the bed, putting on his pants from the night before. Kate wasn't around. Her purse, keys, and phone were gone, but everything else remained.

He texted her, then fell asleep on the living room couch. When he awoke, she had not responded.

He called her, more than once. No answer. He called Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie. No one had heard from her.

His heart was in his throat. Late in the afternoon, he left her apartment and headed for home, asking the doorman to lock up. He left a note for her:

Kate,

If you aren't ready, I understand. But I need to know that you are okay. Please call me.

I love you.

Rick