Disclaimer: The characters you can recognize, I don't own 'em. Everyone else is mine ;p
(.x.)
"Once upon a time, there lived a runaway princess…"
Beck groaned and opened his eyes, they were almost glued shut. A red shirt was the first thing his eyes focused on. A red shirt, jeans and converse. Red shirt was shaking hands with someone. He could hear their voices but he wasn't lucid enough to know what they were saying. Someone was touching his back, rubbing it. It felt nice and he felt his eyes close once more.
"Beck, don't fall back asleep. You need to get up. Your play is tomorrow. If you don't show up, Sikowitz won't give you another lead role." A soft voice filled his ear and his heart fluttered. Was it her? Did she finally come back to him? He peeled is face off the wooden surface and spun to the owner of the voice. When he saw Tori, his smile vanished and his eyes lost their glimmer. He winced as his head pounded and his eyes burned. He'd been through this routine enough to know that he had a hangover.
As Tori watched Beck's face fall, she felt her smile falter. She wished she could be the girl he wanted to see but she wasn't. She was Tori Vega. She was his friend, not his lover. She was here to support him; to help him find his way. Beck was the one they could all turn to for advice, he was their rock, their foundation that held them together and now he was eroding right before their eyes. She was disappointed that she couldn't help him, she wanted to. They all wanted to, but they couldn't. The only person who could make this better had been gone for 6 months, 3 weeks and 5 days.
Tori had been counting. Every day she hoped she'd return. Whenever she saw a brunette with long locks, in dark clothing, her heart skipped a beat and she ran forward to approach this doppelganger, only to find disappointment staring her in the face. Beck wasn't the only one affected. They all were.
Andre shook the bartender's hand. It was 4 in the morning and the bartender was ready to close up the bar. Beck was a frequent customer so he often let him keep his seat after he passed out. So frequent, in fact that they were on a first name basis. He was an old man; sixty-five. It hurt him to see such a young boy passed out on his bar. Sure he was underage, but whenever he took the first drink, he would watch as Beck's eyes lit up. Beck would tell the bartender of all the things they did together, all the things he had planned for them and all the things he loved about her. The bartender enjoyed listening and a wrinkled smile crept upon his face when the young man's arms moved around in excitement. The bartender had heard so much that he felt like he knew of this girl already; he was fond of her like a grandfather would be of his grandchildren. And yet he would never understand what would make her run and leave an 18 year old Beck Oliver alone.
"Thanks again, Bill." Andre waved him goodnight, Beck sandwiched between him and Tori.
"No problem Andre. I wish I could stop him but…" Bill's voice trailed off. He always called Andre whenever Beck passed out. It had been 3 months, Beck had given him a number and Bill knew what to do. He had been in this playing field for more than 40 years.
"Good night, Bill." Tori's voice wafted inside the empty bar.
"Good night Miss Vega. I hope you find your friend; for Beck's sake." Tori nodded her head solemnly. They had all promised themselves that they would find her. Each and every one of them recognized the determination in the others' eyes when they saw a flyer. They never said it aloud but they would never give up. Not now, not ever.
It was the same thing every night. Beck would drink himself unconscious, Andre would get a call and they would come and pick Beck up. Depending on what Bill described, a different person would accompany Andre. If Beck was violent, then Robbie would go with Andre, if he was happy, Cat and when he was depressed, Tori. They never went alone; Beck had a way of outsmarting them in his drunken state.
"Beck, why would you go out tonight of all nights? We have the big showcase later and your play. All the agents and scouts are coming to see the graduating class." Tori asked as Andre pulled off the curb. It wasn't a struggle to get Beck inside the car; he was pretty much dead weight to them now. Tori sat with him in the backseat while Andre took them to Beck's RV.
"It hurts, Tori." Beck mumbled, his eyes closed.
"I know it does, Beck but she wouldn't want you to be like this."
"You don't understand. It hurts more than it ever did. Everything hurts, it hurts to move, to breathe, to think. It all hurts." Beck struggled with his words and Tori and Andre exchanged a worried look in the rear-view mirror. "I had to get rid of the pain."
"It won't always hurt, man. Give it time." Andre spoke from the front seat.
"It's been six months. How long is this going to take?"
"I don't know, Beck." Tori rubbed his shoulder compassionately and turned her head to stare outside. The lights twinkled and decorated the streets. The flashed their neon colours until they turned into the residential area. It was darker then.
When they pulled up in front of the Oliver residence, by Beck's RV, the youngest Oliver was sleeping himself.
"Beck, wake up." Tori gently shook him and watched as he stirred.
"…lations…" he mumbled and Tori frowned along with Andre.
"What was that man?" Andre was out of the car in a second; he opened the backseat door and was kneeling beside the car, next to his best friend. "What did you say?"
"Congratulations."
Andre made a face and Tori shrugged her shoulders. It was safe to say Beck was no longer with them anymore; he was in his own world now.
/ \
"…she learned how to do many things, like love;
But what she loved the most was running…"
"Congratulations, you're finally up. We were starting to get a bit worried." The nurse smiled gently.
"What?" she mumbled. "What am I doing here?"
"Your neighbor, Mrs. Chang, brought you here. She said you collapsed."
"I don't remember anything…"
"It'll come back. Now, are you ready for the news?"
"News, I don't know what you're talking about."
"It seems that you collapsed from pain. You were in labor. We had an emergency C-section. I can ask another nurse to bring her out for you if you want."
"Wait, what's going on?" She tried to push herself off the bed and yelped at the searing pain in her abdomen. She chewed her bottom lip and felt her eyes water. She didn't care if the nurse saw her cry; she had no idea who she was. Hell, sometimes, even she didn't know herself anymore.
"I'll go get her." The nurse shot the girl a curious look and tilted her head to the side.
"Who, Mrs. Chang?"
"Well, I'll get her as well." The nurse wasn't old, not by any means. She was in her late forties but she wasn't ancient. Not like Mrs. Chang, anyway. She felt a small smile on her face, she tried to be happy but this girl was so young. So young and alone, she noted. Mrs. Chang had been more than forthcoming about the poor living conditions the girl lived in. Mrs. Chang told the nurse how the girl lived alone, working as a waitress in her restaurant below them. She was an old woman and didn't rent out rooms in her house, but she saw something in the girl; helplessness. It made her reconsider and she was glad she did. If she didn't let the girl in, where would she have been today? Would anyone have taken care of her?
Mrs. Chang was old but she was lonely. Her husband died five years ago and they never had children of their own. This girl was pleasant, she was withdrawn and often indifferent but she always worked hard and went out of her way to help Mrs. Chang beyond the employee-employer boundary. She seemed to snap at everyone but Mrs. Chang. When the old woman gazed upon her features, she saw gratitude and something else that would make Mrs. Chang smile; hope.
"Mrs. Chang!" The girl called out as the old Asian woman shuffled into the room. She was a tiny thing, with her long silver hair tied in a low bun. Although old, Mrs. Chang was fast on her feet and had wit that belonged to a feisty young woman. She would bicker with the girl and they would smile, because they would never mean their words. Five months had drawn them closer and Mrs. Chang felt herself letting go of her husband and holding onto the young girl before her.
The girl smiled as Mrs. Chang patted her hand. "My dear, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Lying is not necessary."
"I don't want to worry you." The young girl mumbled.
"Okay, I'm back." The nurse's cheery voice filled the room and the girl felt a pang; it reminded her of someone. "Here you go." The girl blinked awkwardly as the nurse held out her arms. "Open your arms." She commanded.
"What?"
"Aren't you going to hold her?" The girl furrowed her eyebrows and did as she was told. She held open her hands and the blanket tickled her skin. Nestled inside was a pink baby. Eyes wide open, peering up at her curiously.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Mrs. Chang asked and the girl nodded her head. The baby had a tuft of black curls adorning her head but her eyes never left the girl. She was a quiet little thing; observant. She seemed to be drinking in the girl's features, studying her and the girl fidgeted.
"When is her mother coming for her?" She asked softly. She didn't like the way this baby was making her feel.
"My dear, you are her mother." Mrs. Chang inched closer, worry etched across her face. Her brown eyes never left the girl on the bed. So young, so small, so fragile. So much like the baby she held in her arms.
"That's impossible. I wasn't pregnant. I never gained weight or had morning sickness…this isn't my baby!" Her voice got shrill at the end of the sentence and she shook her head stubbornly.
"Oh my goodness. You didn't know you were pregnant?" The nurse jumped into action and mumbled to herself before saying, "That explains why she was so tiny."
"She?"
"Your daughter."
"This isn't my daughter because I wasn't pregnant!"
"Um, I'll let you two talk. I'll be back to sort out the birth certificate." The nurse gave Mrs. Chang a knowing look and left the room. The baby never left the girl and the girl couldn't tear her eyes away from the wide ones that stared up at her. She never liked babies much. She never liked a lot of people.
"My dear," Mrs. Chang's soft, silky voice, drew her in, "I have known for weeks. I thought you were afraid to tell me."
"How could you know? I…I didn't know. You think I'd know if I was pregnant or not." She never doubted Mrs. Chang. The old woman knew the answers to questions that weren't even asked aloud. She was well-versed in almost everything. She could cook, she had secret soothing remedies and even had a habit of drawing on bills the girl left around the house, with a skill that would make her old art teacher jealous.
"You forget that I myself was a nurse," Mrs. Chang raised a frail hand to brush some hair out of the girl's face. "This must be such a shock for you, but I knew from the moment you started eating so much ice-cream. Did you forget you got ill within the first few weeks moving in? That wasn't a stomach bug. Your backaches weren't from your long shifts. I made you give up coffee for the baby, not because they would ease your heat flashes. I always assumed you knew and would tell me with time."
In her arms, the baby gurgled and the girl flinched. "I can't raise a baby. I don't have anything…I have no one. I can barely take care of myself." Her eyes sparkled with tears, reminding Mrs. Chang of diamonds falling from the sky. She wanted to collect them all in a bucket and preserve their haunting beauty.
"Sometimes life gives you challenges so you can start a new chapter in your life. This is life's way of tell you to grow up. It's a surprise. It's harder than most challenges but it's happening and it's real. You're not alone. You have me and now, you have a baby. We're a family."
"A family?" The girl repeated. She seemed to be dazed. Lost in Mrs. Chang's words. Slowly piecing together all of the information. Her backaches, her swollen ankles, the five pounds she gained, her mood swings, her cravings…was it because she was pregnant? This baby, this was hers? She looked at the little mass in her arms; the nurse was right, it was small. She was small, not it. The nurse said it- she, was her daughter. The baby's brilliant blue eyes gleamed up at her. The girl saw the black curls and the tanned skin and felt ache in her chest. Like someone had grabbed a dull knife and stabbed her in the heart. She lost her breath and felt tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn't do this. This was a living, breathing baby. This was her daughter. Mrs. Chang was old, she was weak; she couldn't take advantage of her hospitality like that. She didn't have anything for this baby. She didn't have clothes, a crib, milk, toys…she had nothing. She didn't even have a boyfriend or husband to share this moment with.
If anything, at least she had Mrs. Chang. And now, she had this baby, whose chubby arms were reaching forward, aiming for her face. Though her eyes were blue, that was the only thing the baby had gotten from her. She was silent; she wasn't fussy and seemed to be soothed with the simplest things, like her hair. The baby grabbed a fistful and a sloppy smile appeared. The girl found herself smiling too. Maybe it was the mother-daughter moment, or maybe it was because she knew she couldn't give this baby everything she deserved. She didn't deserve to be born like this and the girl wondered if she would ever love the baby as much as mothers usually did. Her mother loved her, she knew that much but she hardly ever saw her parents since her parents got divorced and her father gained custody.
"Don't cry." Mrs. Chang's voice filled her ears like a sad symphony. "It will work out. You can do it. We can do it."
The tears fell anyway.
The nurse strolled in with a large, clunky machine. She pretended not to see the tears. Such a beautiful young girl should never have tears in her eyes. "Okay, it's time for me to do her birth certificate. I got your name from Mrs. Chang but I need you to repeat it. It's policy."
Silence. Her heart sped up and the baby tilted her head to the side. The girl wondered if the baby could hear her beat, if she could sense her fear. The baby let go of her hair and touched her cheek and the girl wondered if this baby could read all her emotions.
"August, my name is August."
"It's the first time I'm meeting an August. Last name?"
"West."
There was a pause. "Father's name?"
The baby patted her cheek again almost as if to say, go ahead, you can do it. I know you can, I believe in you. And it was then she realized her baby was nothing like her at all.
"August? I need that father's name."
"Oh, sorry. It's Beck Oliver."
"Well, aren't you two a cute pair. With names like August and Beck, I'm curious to know what you're naming this little one." The girl forced a smile and swallowed the lump in her throat. Tears were still rolling down her face and Mrs. Chang was silent, for she had never heard August mention a boyfriend of any sort; she had never once mentioned a Beck Oliver.
"So what are you naming her?" The nurse looked up from the machine. She shifted her weight from one foot to the next. "I can always come back, if you still need time…"
"No." August spoke almost forcefully, her voice raspy.
The baby seemed to be fascinated with her mother, especially the tears running down her face. August looked down at the bundle in her arms, the blue eyes and the black curly hair. She saw the determination in the baby's eyes as her hands fumbled in the air. They looked at each other; studied each other. A small frown crossed the baby's face and the girl bent her head, she knew that frown. It wasn't hers, but she knew it. The baby let out a little wail as her hands fumbled , reaching for her mother's face. The girl blinked as the tiny hand reached up once more and wiped a tear away. Mrs. Chang smiled brilliantly and August found herself smiling.
This baby was all she had left. She was her old life. She was a part of herself that she'd never lose again. A part of her she never wanted to lose, a part of her she loved and hid in the back of her mind. Jadelyn August West became August West when she left 6 months ago. August West would never lose those parts of her; they made her. This baby was proof that she was real, that she was loved. That he was real. Proof that August was Jade. Proof that August wasn't a lost face, name. She was Jade. She would always be Jade.
"Jade. Her name is Jade."
"Oh, that is a rather beautiful name. Middle name?"
"Olivia. She's Jade Olivia West." She's all I have left of Jade West and Beck Oliver.
"A beautiful name for a beautiful baby." The nurse smiled at the mother-daughter duo, then ushered Mrs. Chang to her side to discuss August's release.
"You know, I saw an episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, once." August said to Jade. Could her daughter even understand her? "You're all I have left of us, you know. A surprise. Usually I hate surprises, but I think I'll make an exception for you." Jade gave her mother a gummy smile and wiped away another tear.
Jadelyn had loved Beck, August didn't even love herself but somehow she found herself feeling more for Jade and Mrs. Chang than she had ever felt in a long time. It was nothing like she had ever felt for Beck. It was something more. A family connection, a bond she never really understood. It made her suck in a shaky breath. The first person who ever made her feel like family was Tori. Sad, wasn't it?
Because they never went a day without fighting.
"Congratulations Beck, you have a baby girl." Was the last thing she remembered saying that day.
/\
"…she was made of many different pieces she had been given from her family and friends;
They built her up to be one of the most beautiful princesses alive…"
It had been a year. Beck lost some of his man jewelry and started working with Bill. His dreams of leaving for New York, the lights and the fame disappeared with each passing day. As reality would have it, Tori and Andre never really made it big. Or rather, they refused to stray too far from Beck and if they did, Cat and Robbie were there to take their place. Beck was better. That was what they reminded themselves. He wasn't himself, but at least he wasn't getting wasted every night. He had turned down many offers in the past year, many calls were left unanswered and many voice-mails were deleted. All from acting agents and talent scouts.
"I can't leave. Jade will come back," Was what he told his parents. They gave him a sad smile; after a year of trying to convince him to move on and start living, they finally stopped. Beck needed as much time as he could get. It was then they realized how deeply his feelings for the brunette ran. It was also the first time they had wished for her presence; just so Beck could get right back on track. Cat, Tori, Robbie and Andre had been more accepting; in fact, they never even questioned his decision. They had nodded- not in sympathy like everyone else had, but more like because they knew how he felt, and he supposed they did. None of them had left for more than 4 months. They were drawn to LA. Rooted, actually.
"Is it possible, that Jade ran away?" Tori's dad has asked them, "Was Jade depressed?"
"Jade is the strongest person I know." Robbie was the one who spoke first, "she would never be depressed."
"We just have to keep all our options open here. So far, Jade doesn't have a very good history. It's possible she just ran away."
"Jade would never leave us!" Cat jumped up from her seat, "I'm sorry Mr. Vega but you're wrong." She clenched her fists.
"But if she did run away…"
"If she did run away, she'd come back." Andre finished slowly, keeping his eyes focused in the table in front of him and nothing else. Glass. Didn't they all sit here and groan while Robbie sang about broken glass? Jade had smiled then. It seemed like that had happened a lifetime ago, but it had only been a year. "Jade would never leave, Beck."
"Look at the facts, if Jade West was kidnapped, there would have been a random. If she was killed, there would be a body." A junior cop spoke up loudly and shrugged his shoulder dumbly.
"Jade never packed her things. Jade is more than some runaway. She's my friend. My very good friend, even if she doesn't like to admit it." Tori hissed her words and her mother was taken aback at her daughter's change in demeanor, "Maybe if you were out there looking for her, instead of making worthless accusations and assumptions, she would be here by now." Mr. Vega rubbed his neck awkwardly after his daughter's tantrum and watched as she pushed past people and slammed the front door shut.
Last time he had checked, Tori and her friend Jade, weren't even friends.
(Granted, last time he had bothered to check had been a year ago.)
Tori's living room had been filled with people. Cops, parents, and even a few teachers. Jade had been missing for 2 days. The first person to notice was Tori; they were supposed to work on a play together but she hadn't answered any of her calls. When she visited the West mansion, her step-mother shook her head and said, "Isn't she with the redhead friend?" Beck never forgave himself for not realizing Jade was missing, first. He was her boyfriend, after all. Tori wished she could have at least given him that, but she couldn't.
Beck would spend his time, reliving moments with Bill. Bill was a year older now, and knew Beck needed to get his mind off of his runaway girl. Runaway because that was what the police said after the first year. Jade West officially declared a runaway. LA was a big place, word got around. Soon enough everyone forgot about Jade West. Her father moved to Boca with his wife and Jade's mother moved into their old house; never moving Jade's things. She sat outside the house with her bible, eyes closed, mouth moving. She was rooted there; just like everyone else.
Jade's missing posters were hidden by advertisements and flyers. Her picture in Hollywood Arts went up but nobody gave it a second glance, anymore. Except for Sikowitz, who often stayed back when school was over, just to look at her for a few minutes. She was smiling. Beck had ben next to her but they cropped him out; it was the only picture they could find where Jade West laughed. Her extensions were gone and her piercings weren't as prominent as they usually were. She had on a purple top, one that Tori said Jade stole from her bedroom. Jade's eyes were almost closed; she didn't know the picture was being taken. She was mid-laugh. She was happy. This was the Jade West Sikowitz tried to remember, not the one the media paraded about. Not "Runaway West."
People ate the story up. Her father was a multimillionaire, she was talented, beautiful. Why would she runaway? She was angry, jealous and probably suicidal. That's what they said. As if they fucking knew her. Cat knew Jade would never commit suicide. Jade wanted to be remembered; she had a plan, dreams. Jade knew what she wanted to do. She was excited to leave school and start living. She was stubborn. Jade was a fighter and she would never let life push her over the edge. Nobody had that power over her. Nobody ever would. Jade West wasn't an idiot. Cat knew; she just knew that something had to have happened. Something made her leave. And she was suspicious of everyone.
Jade's disappearance made her question everything. Cat dropped acting and performing on a whole and went to medical school. She couldn't make it as a doctor, they said, so she became a nurse. So that when Jade came back, she could take care of her, like a best friend would. And also so that she could take care of Beck while Jade was gone. Beck who got drunk every weekend after work. Beck who was always coughing recently. Beck who lost his muscles and couldn't even beat Tori in an arm-wrestling match, anymore. Nobody asked her to do it; they didn't have to. They all silently had a role to play in fixing Beck- on preserving him so that he would still be there when Jade returned. Different ones, but still integral.
"Hey, Cat." Robbie greeted her as he walked into the house. Everyone lived together in a 5 bedroom house. Jade's father often sent them large sums of money to keep printing posters and for them to find out any more information. They hired private investigators but they were often cheated out of their money more than they would like to admit. Cheated of their money and hope. His wife didn't know he donated to their fund every month. Nobody knew except for the five of them. He was her father; he would never be able to let go.
Jade's mother would stop by with casserole, every Saturday. After dinner, she would tell them stories of Jade. Robbie would think, in that second of silence after Jade's mother finished a story, if there would come a day where there would be no new stories to look forward to. His chest would ache at the thought and Cat would link their arms, sensing his discomfort.
"Hey Robbie, how was work?" Robbie got a job as a technician. He had a knack for fixing things after Beck had fixed his first car. Robbie had grown taller and out of his awkward ways. He was stronger and cut his hair. Cat sort of missed his afro, sometimes. He had to stay in shape to be able to control Beck. Robbie was the muscle. When Beck needed to fight, Robbie offered and defended himself. He avoided kicks and punches, tiring out Beck so he would be too tired to go out and drink on the weekends, and if he did, he wouldn't disappear after.
"It was okay. I got a tip." Robbie was the only one with a stable job. They needed the money. He sold Rex to a collector in Ohio and used it to help pay for Cat's tuition fees. Sometimes, he was the reason they could have meals during the week; because he worked over time or took many odd jobs. "I can take us all out for pizza tonight." He grinned down at the redhead.
"Do you think you can order it, instead?"
"Oh. Sure."
"I'm sorry Robbie, but I need to study. I don't understand a lot of things in the textbooks. There are really big words and terms I don't recognize." Cat bit her lower lip. She felt horrible for making Robbie change his plans and spoiling his night but she had to study. She had to take care of Beck and Jade. She knew, something had whispered it to her a long time ago, that when Jade came back, she would be different. Cat would have to help her as much as she could.
"Don't worry. I forgot you have to study. I can help you with some of the words." He offered and Cat smiled and gave him a hug. They stayed like that until Tori and Andre returned home with Beck. Cat's eyes were red and her voice croaked. The pizza was cold and Cat's books remained unopened. Robbie's shirt was wet and his legs ached from standing for such a long time, but he never complained, and he never left go. Cat needed him and he hoped she knew that he would never disappear on her.
"Your shirt has a stain." Beck had pointed to the mascara on Robbie's sky blue shirt monotonously before walking away. It was Tuesday. Beck never got drunk on Tuesdays. He liked to watch Full House re-runs on Tuesdays. "Your shirt has a stain." Beck found himself repeating absentmindedly, but nobody could hear him in an empty room.
/\
"…but the princess often lied to run away from things;
When she ran, the pieces she got from her family and friends
scattered across the earth…"
"This was my favourite shirt too," August frowned slightly at her white tank top.
"I think I might be able to get rid of that, dear." Mrs. Chang's voice jolted August back to reality.
"I don't doubt it." She smiled at the older woman.
Having a baby had changed her. She was happier, more light-hearted, but Mrs. Chang was observant enough to see the vacant eyes and the plastic smiles. She was trying for both baby Jade and herself. A happy August meant happy customers and bigger tips. Her smiles and the fact that she kept the kids entertained meant that people were always coming back to the tiny restaurant. So much that there was enough money for Jade to move out (taking Mrs. Chang with her) of the tiny house into a bigger one, away from the city.
She had sung a few songs for a few minor events, nothing special, and earned more money. Jade had grown so much that August found herself wishing she could keep her the same age forever. She did her best to forget the life she had before but little Jade would never fail to remind her of the ones she left behind. She was nothing like her. Jade was a carbon copy of her father. So much that August never called Jade, "Jade", she started calling her Olivia.
"Why would you call her Olivia?" Mrs. Chang asked her one day.
"Because she's so much like her father." It had been difficult to say the words aloud but Mrs. Chang had long broken down some of her barriers.
"Beck Oliver, correct?"
"Yes. That's where she got her middle name from."
August waited for Mrs. Chang to find her out. To see behind this "August act" and see Jade hiding behind her eyes, but she never did. She waited for criticism for naming Jade after her father but it never came.
Instead, Mrs. Chang said, "Olive is a cute name." Together they looked down at the baby in the crib, gurgling as she fingered a stuffed animal; a giraffe because Cat always loved giraffes and had almost broken into tears when Mr. Long Neck had "disappeared". Sometimes August wondered if Cat cried for her, as much as she did for Mr. Long Neck.
Probably not.
In the last year, August had chopped off her hair. Olivia was rather disappointed when she reached up and couldn't touch her mother's curls. She had spluttered irritably and cried for the rest of the day. Beck, August remembered, had begged her not to cut it. Her hands and her hair had fascinated him and Tori, for some reason, loved braiding it…you know, when Cat held her down so she couldn't fight back. Other little things reminded her of her other life. Like when Olivia babbled in her sleep. Beck, when they had fallen asleep in his RV, often murmured in his sleep. When she was Jade, she relished in asking him questions and smiled at his responses.
She had changed so much in the last six months that Olivia was alive, she almost didn't recognize herself. She smiled more, she was well-liked and patient. She barely lost her temper and learned to think of more than just, herself. She was no longer selfish Jade, thinking and caring only for herself. She hardly raised her voice to yell and had more of a melodious voice. It soothed angry customers and made others stop to listen.
Sometimes, when the cook would call her name for an order, she wouldn't answer. It had been happening more and more since Olivia was born. Even though she had changed, even though she had grown up, she was still Jade West. She still loved butterflies and had the rebel star tattooed on her forearm. She still leaned towards the darker colours and hated pink. So when someone called her August, she would take a few seconds before realizing they were trying to call her.
Maybe she should have just been honest in the beginning. She should have just said her name was Jade, when she was applying for the job. But having been missing for a month and exhausted her savings, she needed to make sure she was a different person.
She couldn't be Jade West so under the old woman's scrutiny, she had picked the next best thing; her middle name, August. People were forever commenting on the fact that she had an entire movie named after her, August Rush. And when they found out she could sing, they never stopped making requests, tipping her generously as they did so. In this small town, they knew about Olivia, they knew that she lived with Mrs. Chang, who was by no means a blood relative, and they knew there was never any mention of Olivia's father. These people were kind and often went out of their way to dine at Mrs. Chang's restaurant just so they could tip her.
It was also how she ended up covering singing at weddings and a few bars. Other customers heard her singing a few lines as she rang up their bill when she worked on take-out orders. Initially she didn't want to accept their offers; what if someone had recognized her? But she needed the money, she couldn't keep relying on Mrs. Chang like that. She had to be able to support herself. Mrs. Chang deserved more than what she had to offer, so she took double shifts; she drank her coffee again and barely slept. She never stopped. She just kept going and going.
She couldn't stop and simply go back to being Jade West. Not when she had Olivia. Things would never be the same.
Presently, Mrs. Chang was now rummaging through their new kitchen. "I saw the gleam in her eyes when you put the bowl in front of Olive." She was saying. "I knew she was up to something."
"I saw it too," she said, "but I didn't think she'd pick up the spoon and throw the baby food at me." August laughed and tucked some hair behind her ear. Mrs. Chang had been right; this was her life. They were a family. A non-nuclear family, but a family at best. Knowing she had someone forever supporting her, gave her courage and hope that Olivia would turn out better than she could ever be.
"Little mischievous, girl." Mrs. Chang was looking through the cupboards now.
Olivia babbled happily, from her high chair, in response. Her black hair had grown out and her blue eyes got darker.
She wondered if this was her life now; if this would forever be her life. Olivia could have a happy life with just the two of them. But eventually, she would learn to talk and then she would start asking questions. She would start asking about her father. It was inevitable. She needed a plan. Olivia was the most important thing her life, next was Mrs. Chang and then came her.
"Mrs. Chang." She said and hesitated, "I have something to tell you." She paused and watched as Mrs. Chang was now closing the cupboards and walking over to the kitchen counter.
"I know you do dear, and when you feel like revealing what it is you've been carrying on your back, you can. But don't force yourself. I won't ask you any questions."
It was then she burst into tears. They were fat, streaking her face. Her body shook and Olivia quieted down, almost immediately and eyed her mother. Mrs. Chang turned looked up at her and rested a wrinkled hand on the girl's pale cheek. "Don't cry. You know I won't judge you, August."
"I'm not August." She couldn't see Mrs. Chang's expression. Her vision was too blurry. "I'm not August." She repeated, "August is my middle name. I'm Jade. Can you call me, Jade?"
"Is that why you don't like calling the baby Jade?" Mrs. Change whispered her words. There was no anger, no hurt or betrayal. Just the sound of an old woman who loved a young woman like she was her own.
"Partly. I just…I get so confused sometimes. When people ask for August and I'm wondering why they're looking at me in the first way, because my name's Jade. And when they call Olivia, Jade…I just. I only named her Jade because she was all I had left; she was the only living proof that showed Jade West was alive. So I named her after myself, after the girl who was in love with Beck Oliver." Her words were rushed and sloppily put together. She was bordering hysterical. Mrs. Chang had never seen her so worked up before. Yet, she was also relieved. She didn't have to lie or deceive Mrs. Chang anymore.
"I'm so sorry I've been lying to you. I know it's dishonest and, if you want me to move out, I understand."
"Jade, a name doesn't matter. What matters is who you are, as a person. Who you are to others and who you are to Olivia and I." With the mention of the baby, Jade averted her gaze to the little frowning girl in the high chair.
"Who am I to you?" Jade asked, softly. She didn't mean to say it aloud; it just kind of slipped out.
"Mama!" Came instant response.
"What?"
"Oh my goodness, Olivia just said her first word." Mrs. Chang clapped her hands in delight. "This calls for a celebration!"
But Jade wasn't listening, she was staring at the girl- her daughter. "Mama," Olivia said again, this time, with arms outstretched. She was six months old; she had already said her first word. Beck, he had missed so much. Jade wondered what it would be like if Beck was there with them. If Beck ran away with her, if they had raised Olivia together. She imagined his smile. She saw Cat squealing with Tori and she saw Andre singing Olivia a lullaby after Rex and Robbie read her a bedtime story.
She never stopped crying. She wondered what Beck would say if he could see her now. She never stopped thinking about them. Her friends, her family, her life before. He would be so disappointed. He probably moved on. She didn't want to disrupt his life. She didn't want to shake whatever stability they had. She would be twenty in a few weeks. She had turned nineteen with Mrs. Chang and now she would be turning twenty with her too.
Jade felt a tug in her shirt, "mama" came the small voice, and Mrs. Chang laughed happily from her bedroom where she has rushed into so that she could change her clothes. Jade lifted her daughter out of the highchair and found herself grinning through the tears. Olivia lifted a small, chubby hand and wiped away a tear. "Mama," she said softly. Jade had seen that expression on Beck's face numerous times when she complained about her parents and their custody agreement.
Worry.
Her own daughter was worried about her. Hell, she was wiping away her tears. Beck used to do that.
And though Jade found herself crying harder; her smile never faltered.
/\
"…over the years, the runaway princess' family and friends collected the pieces
In hopes that they would lead them to the princess, herself…"
"Tori, I don't understand why you care so much. Jade was never nice to you. She's been gone for two years now; get over it." Trina slammed her fork down and looked up from her plate. "You and all your little friends have wasted your entire lives waiting for someone who will never come back." Trina spoke bitterly at the dinner table and her parents never spoke up. They were silently thinking the same thing.
The West girl had been over to their house on numerous occasions; she was no stranger. The Vegas listened to Tori complain about how Jade treated her and those around them. They only worked together when forced and even that resulted in shouting matches that Mr. Vega would have to break up.
Tori stiffened in her seat. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and her frame-less glasses accented her face. She was unreadable and Trina opened her mouth to comment but never got the chance.
"Trina, you don't know a thing about Jade or our friendship. She's the most hardworking girl I know. She is the reason why I try so hard. She was my opposition because, let's be honest, you were never any real competition. Jade taught me about hard work, gratitude and so many other things without even knowing. You don't know a thing about her, me or how she changed our lives; so don't sit there and tell me to get over her because I won't. Nobody will."
Before anyone could stop her, the youngest Vega grabbed her coat and bag and slammed the front door behind her. Tori, like Cat, was at college, except majoring in forensic science. Together with Andre who was training to be a cop, they would find Jade. She knew it. They had the resources, sometimes they went without a few meals but that was nothing a few quick shows couldn't fix. Andre and Tori were often left alone when they searched LA, city by city. Jade West, they asked each other, where would Jade West run away to?
She would get a job performing. She was Jade. If not, she'd be writing. If she wasn't writing, Jade must be working in as a Tattoo Artist. That's what they came up with. Robbie and Cat often stayed behind to take care of Beck while the two of them set out to find Jade. Sometimes, when they were driving down the highway, Tori would try to remember the colour of Jade's eyes or the direction in which her hair curled. Andre would reach over and pat her hand soothingly, when she couldn't remember. Tori didn't like forgetting Jade.
She closed her eyes and tried to re-live events and memories. She pretended that Jade was next to her, egging her to keep on, to keep fighting and to not give up.
"Typical Tori,giving up when things get hard."
"I won't give up, Jade." She would whisper, and in the hotel bed next to her, Andre's bed would squeak as he rolled in his sleep. He snored gently, almost humming a sorrowful symphony he wouldn't let himself sing when awake.
"That's good then, because I'm not someone you can just forget."
"I won't forget you, Jade. Nobody will."
"I'm glad."
Is the last thing Jade always says before Tori is alone in the dark. Sometimes Andre wakes up and asks her who she's talking to, but Tori can never say Jade. Andre would think she was crazy.
Andre didn't like saying Jade's name much. Whenever he heard it, he cringed. Now, they refer to her as "she" or "her" when Andre was around. Nobody knew why Andre took it so hard; nobody but Tori. Jade was Andre's first love. With all the crushes and girlfriends Andre had, he had only ever spoken about "love" about Jade. He had seemed so sure that what he felt was love; even when she dressed up as Jade to convince him otherwise, he had tried to kiss her. Tori wasn't an idiot; Andre wasn't over Jade. Nobody would be over a first love like that.
But now Jade was gone and Andre never got the chance to tell her how he felt.
Tori had taken the bus over to their house. The house really didn't belong to a single person; they all paid rent when they could (Robbie most of all) but they tried. The house was the like their safe house. They ran to it whenever they needed to get away from everyone else. The house was where they often pooled information about Jade's disappearance. They spent hours trying to come up with plausible scenarios; often when Beck was sleeping in his room before he got up for work. The house was filled with her pictures. Her life was in this house with them.
Cat pushing her on the swings at five, (because Jade would never push anyone else). Andre lifting her up to usher Cat out of the tree she was too scared to climb down. Her meeting Rex for the first time (because she always knew Robbie). One Cat had snapped of Jade and Beck on their first date, after convincing Andre and Robbie to accompany her on their mission. So many memories Tori wasn't a part of.
It brought a sad smile to her face when she realized everyone else had a lifetime with Jade, when she only had two years.
Still, two years were better than none at all.
So when they all looked up at her expectantly as she walked through the front door, she shook her head with a heavy heart.
"My dad says they're closing the case."
"They can't do that!" Cat shrieked from the living room. She was standing in front of Robbie as he tested her on her work. "They can't!"
"They can, Cat." Andre spoke softly. "If they have reason to believe Jade is a runaway, they can close the case."
Robbie said nothing but kept his gaze on Beck who was staring at the wall. Robbie often wondered if Beck was silent because he was always off in his own word, thinking about Jade or if it was because he was just that wasted. Cat latched onto Andre who rubbed her back soothingly. He could offer no words of comfort. He knew Cat sought refuge in physical contact. They knew she feared they would disappear; just like her brother disappeared into that mental asylum and just like Jade disappeared to nowhere.
"There must be something we can do." Robbie was usually the voice of reason. He became the man he thought Beck would always be. The man he envied as a teenager. "We're not giving up."
Everyone nodded in agreement. They would never give up. But for now, they were out of ideas. It was the first time this happened. Usually when they took a break from searching, they were reassured in knowing that the police would be there on the lookout.
"Is it possible that she's dead?" Beck was the one who asked the question. "Maybe we should just accept the fact that she's not coming back and move on." Cat stopped sobbing to look at the man in disbelief. She looked at his unshaved face, his messy hair and his dirty clothes.
"What?" Andre spoke harshly and Tori winced.
"Jade is dead." Cat had pushed Andre away, stomped over to Beck who was slumped in the sofa. His face was expressionless and his eyes hollow. "She has to be."
"Jade's not dead, Beck." Cat spoke firmly.
"I wish she was. Then this would be easier for all of-" Nobody heard the rest of his sentence as a slap echoed throughout the room. Cat's breathing was labored and she glared at Beck with an intense hatred that Andre had never seen before. Not on anyone, not Jade and certainly not on Cat.
"Don't you dare say that Beck. Don't you ever fucking say something like that again." Beck stood up abruptly, his eyes burning with rage. He towered over Cat but she never shrunk away.
"We're wasting our fucking lives." Beck raised his voice and took a menacing step towards Cat. Robbie leapt between the two and pushed Beck away. Tori scurried over and made sure to get Cat away from the men. She knew what was going to happen. "Jade is a bitch. She left us all and I hope she's dead. I really do. She deserves to be for making us suffer like that." Beck sneered at Cat over Robbie's shoulder.
"You're not the only one hurt here, Beck. We're all hurting. But that doesn't mean you can speak about Jade that way." Tori was the one who kept her patience. She wasn't used to dealing with angry Beck.
She usually got depressed Beck; defenseless and weak. He would wrap her hands around her waist and cry into her hair. She had experienced Beck's anger once or twice, but this was different. He had been silent for almost this entire year. Beck was exploding and Tori hoped he wouldn't destroy himself in the blow.
Robbie and Andre had trouble keeping their cool. Andre's eyes were already twitching and his arms were clenched so tightly, his shirt budged as his arm muscles tensed up. He was breathing just as heavily as Cat. Robbie's lips were pursed but Tori knew that Robbie's silence spoke volumes about his anger.
"How the fuck are you hurting, Tori? You hated Jade and she hated you. You don't even know her." Beck laughed bitterly and shook his head at her.
"I am so sick and tired of everyone asking me that." She hissed, "Jade was important to me."
Beck cackled, his smile made him look like a rabid dog barring teeth. "Because you two were such good friends, right? Like when she tried to ruin your Prome or when she cut up your English mid-term paper, right?"
"Watch the way you talk about my friend, Beck."
"Because you two were so close too, huh, Andre?"
"I was the one she left. She meant nothing to any of you. You all hated her. You chased her away. All of you. Cat's annoying brother who hit on her all the time, Rex and his dumbass comments, like Wicked Witch of the West. Like losing every lead to Tori, like being replaced. She felt replaced. She was happy to leave you all. I'm the one who should be in fucking pain, here. Not any of you. You don't have the right."
"Because you were such a great boyfriend, right Beck? Flirting with everything in sight, just to make her jealous. Like ignoring all her calls and harping on her insecurities. Being with you was no fucking adventure, either Beck. She complained to me a lot." Cat yelled back, her voice raw. Tears stung her eyes and she tried to free herself from Tori's grasp but she was much too weak. "You never loved her. She could have done better than you and if you're the reason she left, well then I'm fucking happy for her."
"You bitch." Beck tried to get to the smaller woman but Robbie pushed him back and watched as Beck body slammed into the nearby wall. "Oh, you angry, Robbie? Don't have Rex to speak for you, this time?" Beck laughed when Robbie broke his nose.
"She's not even here and she's fucking ruining my life. She ruined all of our lives."
"No Beck, you ruined your life. Not ours. We chose to stay here and wait for her." Andre spoke evenly. He exhaled deeply before tearing Robbie off of the other man. He picked up his car keys and opened the front door, motioning for everyone to leave. "You're lucky you have us and you're lucky to have Jade." He said when everyone was outside before slamming the door shut. The car engine roared and Beck heard the tires squeal out of the driveway.
Beck snorted, ignoring the throb in his nose and the way the blood dribbled into his shirt.
"If I were really lucky, I'd be dead too." He said to no one in particular.
/\
"…the runaway princess met a fairy who granted her one wish
so the runaway princess wished to have one last piece for herself;
one that would help her remember her family and friends…"
"More, more, more!" Olivia clapped her hands and demanded more Lucky Charms from her mother. Mrs. Chang smiled at the young woman. Jade was twenty-one now, Olivia had just turned two. She was walking and acting more and more like her mother every day. But Mrs. Chang could look at the blue eyed baby and recognize foreign things; like the baby's ivory skin and black locks. While Jade was the splitting image for Snow White; so much that at Halloween she would dress up as the Disney princess and hand out candy in the restaurant, a customer's daughter squealed at the sight of Olivia and said she looked like Jasmine. Jade's body went rigid and she froze, forgetting her order and snapped at the chef on her break.
"Okay, Olivia. Calm down."
"More, mama!" Jade put a small plastic bowl in front of the girl and ruffled her long hair.
"Jade?" Mrs. Chang gave the girl a polite smile and motioned to the living room. Jade reached down, took Olivia's little hand and walked her over to Mrs. Chang. "We need to talk."
"I know. I can't rely on you taking care of Olivia for me for-"
"No, that's not it." Mrs. Chang waved her hand dismissively and Jade sat down next to the tiny lady, placing Olivia in her lap. The Lucky Charms long forgotten. "It's about Olivia's father. Now hear me out, okay dear? I just have some questions. You've been living with me for a good two years now, but I don't know a thing about you. I'm an old woman Jade, I'm seventy-five. I won't be around here forever. You're the only family I have left. When I'm gone, everything belongs to you and Olivia. But first, I want to know you better. Can you do that?"
Jade nodded, not knowing how to handle this situation.
"Do you have any family?"
She nodded.
"No, you're going to have to speak darling."
Jade swallowed and sighed. "I'm an only child. My parents are divorced and I have a step-mother."
"They know you're here?"
"Nobody knows I'm here."
"What about Olivia?" The question made Jade bend her head in shame. She didn't want Mrs. Chang to think any worse of her. She was already a runaway who was sucking out all of her money and space.
She knew Mrs. Chang said she had no problem with her being there and for Jade money wasn't an issue. She paid the bills and bought the grocery now but she always had an underlying feeling that Mrs. Chang hated having her around so much. She hated the loss of her freedom because she had to look after Olivia so much.
The fact was, she loved Mrs. Chang like the grandmother she never had (because they both died before she was born) and had grown attached to the elderly woman; more than she was accustomed to. It had all happened so quickly. Getting used to Beck had taken two years before she finally agreed to go out with him. Next to Tori, Mrs. Chang was the only person who managed to worm their way into her heart, unconsciously. With Olivia it had been automatic. Cat, Andre and Robbie had taken some getting used to (especially Robbie).
"Nobody knows about her either."
"So you ran away?" Another nod. "Were you abused?"
"No, no, no. It wasn't anything like that. I had a perfectly average childhood. My dad worked a lot so my mom quit her job to take care of me. I had friends and a boyfriend." Jade shook her head furiously; her father may not have been around much and sure she wasn't her step-mother's favourite person in the world but she knew they cared for her a lot more than others would expect. Her mother called her at least twice a week from Ohio. She wasn't there in person but Jade knew she cared and she used to love getting random cards or letters from her mother.
As for her friends, she knew how she felt about them; and maybe a few years ago, they would have returned those feelings but now, she was probably just a bitter memory. Beck…she never meant to hurt him; that was why she left in the first place. But looking back now, she probably made the biggest mistake of her life but if making mistakes meant she would grow up, become a better person, having people like Mrs. Chang in her life and come home to Olivia every day, without fighting, Jade didn't mind the mistakes they made.
"And none of them know you're here or about Olivia?"
"No."
"Olivia is two. I'm an old lady. I love her to death but when I'm gone, you'll need a support system. You don't have a social life here either, I guess you're still hiding but I don't understand what you're hiding from. Why would you run? Granted, if you never left, we never would have met and I would have just been a bitter, old woman." Mrs. Chang knew Jade often doubted the position she held in the older woman's life. She could never understand why; Jade and Olivia brought so much life back into her world.
She went from waiting for a postcard from death, to waking up each morning with a smile. She had purpose in her life now. With her husband gone, Mrs. Chang simply existed. She breathed, she ate and sometimes she argued when the waitresses got the order wrong. She was grumpy, rude and seemed to ooze sorrow and despair. Jade, she didn't bother fighting back a smile, Jade had done so much more for her.
"I would've been bitter, Jade." And Mrs. Chang laughed because she never knew the old Jade; she had never met jealous, bitter, angry Jade. This Jade had been silent, indifferent, and almost cold. When she was August, she was empty; missing something almost. Now she was jovial and full of laughter. The sun shone brighter when she was around. She was intoxicating and Mrs. Chang was glad to have welcomed the girl in her life.
"Something must have happened."
"I just…I got tired of losing. I try so hard for everything and then people waltzed in and took everything I had without even trying. I felt like I was being replaced. Like I was being lost in the shuffle. Beck and I were arguing, my dad was in Fiji with his wife so I was alone a lot. My best friend and I grew apart ever since my relationship with Beck started. Then there was a new girl, she was perfect. She probably still is perfect. She was taking everything away from me, without even knowing; without even trying. I had spent years of effort to build those friendships, to develop my talents…and I just…I started to lose it."
"You ran away because of this girl?"
"No. I didn't. I consider her a friend. Not a best friend or anything, but we were always left alone. Everyone was always busy and Beck left for Canada a lot. She grew on me like a mole and we became friends. We would have such deep conversations that I was afraid she would laugh at me, at whom I really was but she didn't. She hugged me instead and said she liked me better this way."
Jade never liked saying it aloud; she never liked admitting that she was closer to Tori than she ever was with Beck. It didn't seem right. She had been with Beck for years, Beck had earned the spot of being her most trusted friend, aside from being her boyfriend as well. Tori seemed to understand her on a level that Beck never even knew existed. At first, Tori exploited it; she knew what would make Jade tick and would try and use it against her, but Tori was never really good at blackmailing others. That was Jade's specialty. Tori often cracked under Jade's glare before she could even carry out her plan of action.
"Jade…I'm not following." Mrs. Chang crinkled her forehead; first Jade was complaining about this girl and now she was speaking highly of her?
"Tori accepted me for myself. We grew closer and we challenged each other. I taught her about hard work and she taught me about having fun. I never really met someone like her before; genuine. She did things like bring sandwiches for me on mornings, she would help me with my chemistry and once I slept over by her house when Beck and I got in a nasty fight and she took care of me for the entire night." Jade spoke with sincerity in her voice, a kind of admiration that made Mrs. Chang arch her eyebrows. The only other person Jade ever used that tone for, was when talking about Olivia.
"Are you…do you have feelings for this girl?"
"I'm not a lesbian if that's what you're asking." The young woman snorted and shook her head.
"Oh thank goodness, because that would make this so much more complicated. Then what happened? Why is this girl so important to you?" Mrs. Chang breathed a sigh of relief and patted her chest lightly, almost of as she were relieving her little heart of excess stress that very moment.
"I realized I loved Tori, a lot. Like the annoying younger sister I never had. I was comfortable with her. I could lay all my cards out on the table without worrying about her judging me. She knew all of me and never tried to change me and never scorned me for being myself. I was scared." Jade watched as little Olivia picked up her hand and started playing with it. She was always tracing it; Jade often wondered if it was the same thing Beck used to trace on her palm.
"Scared to get closer?"
"Beck was my boyfriend, I was supposed to be comfortable with him. I was supposed to love him the most. But then Tori came along and she made me feel something else. Not love, like the kind of love I had for Beck but, almost like the love I have for Olivia. For most of my childhood, I was alone but she never left my side. She relied on me and I knew that if I relied on her, she would never let me go."
"Friendship is a funny thing, Jade. Sometimes, you'll meet a stranger and the next day, they'll mean the world to you, like how much you and Olivia mean to me. There are different types of love; there is nothing to be afraid of. Loving a friend more than your lover isn't a bad thing. You didn't have to feel guilty about it."
Even though Jade tried to explain herself, Mrs. Chang didn't grasp why Jade felt the need to run away. Love came in all shapes and sizes. So Jade had a bond with her friend that was stronger than the one she had with her boyfriend, Mrs. Chang didn't see anything wrong with that. It was always nice to meet your other half; your soul mate. They can become your confidant, your sister, the one who can read your book, even if there with no words written on the page, and then write a 3500 word essay about what they read after. For Jade, Tori was that person.
Maybe Jade was just ashamed of admitting it?
"But I did."
"What else? What aren't you telling me?" The old lady prompted.
"She made me re-evaluate things in my life. Who I was, who I wanted to be and where I wanted go. She made me realize I didn't want to act, sing or write. I wanted attention. She made me realize that without Beck, I wasn't a pile of dust. I could live. The change scared me. The fact that I didn't know who I was anymore, terrified me. I spent the first eighteen years of my life, planning my future in detail and suddenly it meant nothing. Getting the lead in the school play meant nothing anymore. Getting featured in the new showcase sparked no interest. I was so different…without the arts, I wasn't Jade West. So I packed a bag and caught a bus. I didn't know where it would take me, but I needed a break. I needed to think. It was just going to be for a few days but then days turned into weeks and I was too embarrassed to return as Runaway West, the girl who left it all and came back with nothing."
Jade paused and looked down as Olivia nestled further into her side, wrapping her tiny arms around her mother's body. "I had no money, so I sold my cell phone and all my jewelry. I sold everything except a promise ring Beck gave me when we were fifteen."
"Why don't you go back?" Mrs. Chang asked, after a long pause to collect her thoughts.
"I don't want to."
"So you're just going to deprive Olivia of her father? She doesn't need to pay for the mistakes you made. I love you Jade, I really do, but what you did was wrong. Your parents must be worried sick about you, so is Olivia's father. What about your friend, Tori? You two were like sisters. It seems to me like she needed you as much as you needed her; maybe more. Love isn't always romantic. Love is caring for someone more than you care for yourself. Your friend loved you and you also cared for her deeply. One comes across a friend like that, once in a lifetime. It was mere luck that you managed to find each other."
"Why is it lucky?"
"She's your other half, isn't she?"
"God, you make us sound like such lesbians." Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully.
"That's what's wrong with you young people these days. You don't know what love is. You think it's about marriage or sex but it's not. The strongest kind of love is that which exists among family. There's someone created out there in the world, someone who needs you. Your friend needed you, just like how you needed Beck and now, Olivia needs you too. Letting other people into your heart doesn't mean you're replacing them. It means your heart is growing and along with it, so is your family."
Mrs. Chang clasped her wrinkled hands together and smiled, "With that said, I think you should go back, Jade. Olivia needs to know about her father and your friend needs you. They're looking for you, right now. They probably never stopped. God forbid something happens to you, I won't get custody of Olivia because I'm not a blood relative and I'm assuming you don't have a will written up, do you? I will be deemed too old to take care of a child and then Olivia will be a ward of the state. That's not what you want for her, is it? Better to face your past now, than to do it later when Olivia can talk and speak on her own."
"I've never thought about that…about me dying."
"As a mother, you should. The future isn't certain. I'm not saying something is going to happen but I worry about you. Sometimes I have these dreams…"
"Dreams…?"
"Nightmares."
"About Olivia?"
"About you."
"About me?"
"Just be careful, dear. You never know what can happen."
/\
"…the fairy turned the last piece into a baby and so the runaway princess was no longer lonely or sad.
With that piece she was whole again…"
Three years had done them well. Cat was finishing up her last year in University while Tori only had one more to go. Andre would be starting off as a rookie soon and word of Robbie's ability for fixing things spread around LA like wild fire and soon he was booked with jobs. Beck was doing better. He didn't smile as much, but whenever Cat said something that reminded him of when they were teenagers, a hint of a smile would flicker across his features. Then he would wait to hear a familiar insult being thrown across at the redhead and his smile would disappear when silence greeted his ears. They were three years older, twenty-two now and yet, they were still the same. They never dated; they never had time, and if they did, they often scared people away with their need to find Jade. Nobody seemed to understand them except for each other.
Cat still had her red hair. She refused to let it go back to her natural colour. "That way, if I see Jade, she'll recognize me instantly." She said. And Robbie shot her a worried smile. Robbie never doubted the fact that Jade would return; he knew she would but he often pondered upon the condition in which the lost girl would return in. Would her hair still be black? Would she still have those piercings? Would she be alive? He didn't like to think about it, but ever since Beck had lost it last year, the thought of a dead Jade plagued him. He watched enough Criminal Minds episodes to know what happened to beautiful girls who wondered out in the dark alone, and Jade really did love her darkness.
Today was a relaxed day. It wasn't that everyone was moving on but more like they were finally able to grow. They had a purpose and while their main goal was to find Jade, they had finally formulated a plan. They knew how they would find her. Tori and Andre only had 3 or 5 more cities to search before they could say they searched every inch of LA to find Jade. They were the small towns, the tiny little cities with less than 20 thousand people. Jade would never think of going there, but Tori wanted to cover all the bases. Three years did nothing on dampening her hopes of finding Jade. Andre was slowly giving up, much like Beck had long resigned. She saw the weary look in his eyes when they returned from a town sans the pale-haired beauty.
Didn't he say he would find 365 days to get to her when they were younger? It annoyed her how he would search the town half-heartedly and then sigh heavily when their efforts were fruitless. Didn't he get excited when the number of towns they had to visit decreased? They were now a step closer to finding Jade. She could feel it. Jade wasn't dead, despite what Beck snarled on his bad days and despite the looks Robbie and Andre shot her. Jade was very much alive. All she had to do was find her.
Easier said than done.
Everyone had a day off today. Cat and Tori made pasta while Robbie and Andre pitched in to help them rearrange the furniture in the living room. They were still living in the same house but unlike before, they could actually afford more furniture. Jade's father still sent them checks every month; the sum of money somehow got larger. Once he had even gone so far as to call Tori and ask her if they had any leads. It was the first time he had bothered to do anything so personal. Usually he sent her emails or letters from his secretary but as time passed, Tori realized Mr. West became more desperate but like Jade, he was highly skilled in masking his true emotions.
When Mr. West had heard the sheer determination in Tori's voice, his heart broke. He hadn't given up in finding Jade, he knew she would turn up, but he had stopped looking. He had started to move on and on occasion, he forgot about her. About his only child. And that both scared and angered him. Yet here was this girl, having known Jade for only 2 years, devoted to finding her. Something in her voice reminded him of his own child. Maybe it was the fact that Tori's determination never faltered. Her desire to find her friend and bring her back home never wavered.
She was neither angry nor upset. Just sad; he could hear a forlorn sadness deep within her voice. A pain that almost matched his, and he wondered what it was that attracted people to Jade. She was like cocaine; once consumed, she was hard to let go. Jade was addictive, she was destructive and her words her often poisonous but that never scared people away. They flocked to her. Her stoic appearance had the opposite effect she desired and for that he was glad. He was happy Jade had people like Tori in her life. They could be there when he wasn't. As a parent he should have been by Jade's side, but he had chosen to travel to Fiji with his wife instead. Jade's mother, Emily, never forgave him for that and quite frankly, he would never forgive himself either.
He didn't want to get his hopes up. Every professional he contacted told him the chances of finding Jade were slim and the chances of finding her alive were even less. Talking to Tori Vega on the phone had sparked a sense of hope that maybe they would find her. It was something he didn't want; he didn't want hope growing inside of him like a parasite because in the back of his mind, he knew that if he was what drove Jade away, she was never coming back…if she could.
Every year for her birthday, her friend, Cat Valentine would send him a red velvet cake. Jade's favorite type of cake; it was tradition for Cat to bake her a cake ever since her brother put red food colouring in her Easy Bake Oven cake she made when she was seven. Jade loved the colour and Cat stopped crying long enough to see her best friend wasn't upset, but rather pleased with her miniature cake. For that reason, he never stopped sending them money. Because while he didn't have the strength to wake up each morning and find his daughter, but little Tori Vega and her friends did.
"Hey guys, what do you suppose Jade's doing now?" Cat asked absentmindedly. They were all on the sofa in the living room, feet cocked up on the coffee table in front of them. Tori stopped chewing, finding the pasta having a sudden rubbery texture. Robbie swallowed what he had in his mouth and Andre set his fork back down in his plate.
"I don't know, Cat. But I hope she's happy." Tori supplied the answer after she struggled to swallow.
"Me too. I hope Jade's really happy but I wish she could be happy with us." Cat's sing song voice was tinged with sadness. She twirled the long noodles in her plate but never brought the fork to her lips.
"She will be Cat," Robbie and Andre exchanged a look when Tori spoke, she ignored the two of them and patted Cat on her shoulder briefly before turning back to her plate. Sometimes she had a hard time believing that Jade would come back. When she thought like that, her chest felt heavy and her eyes burned. It was the same feeling she got when her Grandmother died when she was 11. She felt like a part of her had been buried with her grandmother and now another part of her was with Jade, wherever she was. She had finally opened herself to Jade completely only to find her gone. When Tori was younger, she used to watch shows like Sister, Sister and The Parent Trap; growing up, wishing she could have that kind of relationship with Trina.
Trina however, liked to be by herself and got easily annoyed when Tori followed her around. So when Jade had started opening up to her one night, after a terrible fight with Beck, Tori had seized the opportunity by the hand and refused to release it. She could read Jade like a well-rehearsed play and she liked to think Jade could read her that easily as well. They had a strong bond, first based on anger and jealousy. It wasn't that hard to place that same intensity to produce a budding friendship. Tori was like Jade's orchid, she attached herself to Jade and refused to be separated.
When she was younger, she had a clear picture of what she wanted in an older sister and best friend. She saw the girl but she never remembered her features after she woke up the next morning. She wanted someone who would stand up for her when she got picked on by the older kids, someone who didn't mind being different from the other kids, unlike how Trina tried to be their exact replicas.
She wanted someone hardworking, not someone who made her work hard for them, like Trina always seemed to do. She wanted someone who would appreciate her and be there when she got scared. Someone tough; someone she could rely on. It was only later, when Beck had rushed over to the Vega residence to whisk Jade back into his arms, full of "sorry, babe" when she realized just how much she missed Jade when she was gone; when she realized that Jade was the person she had been wishing for all her life.
"Hey, Rob, where's Beck?" Andre asked after Cat and Tori had gathered the dishes in the kitchen.
"He's in Byron. He got a gig opening for some band." Robbie answered, as much as he considered Beck a friend, he was still an ass.
"He's there alone?" Andre arched his eyebrows, unimpressed.
"You two were already out on the road. Cat couldn't leave school and I was booked with jobs. He told us he wouldn't do his usual bullshit."
"And you believed him?" Robbie shrugged his shoulders and Andre brought a hand to his temple. Beck was going to drink himself into a coma, get fired and then disappear. Andre knew Beck was just looking for an excuse to leave them. Whereas he used to be comforted by their presence, Beck had now grown bitter and resentful; according to him, he was a twenty-two year old man and didn't need four babysitters following him around. No matter how much he claimed to be over Jade, how many times he snarled insults and spoke ill of her, they could still see the pain and hurt illuminating his eyes.
Sometimes Robbie would wake up in the night, making sure Cat was up and studying or to get a glass of water and find Beck staring at the pictures of Jade they had around the house.
It was a fairly large house. They all had their own bedroom. Cat often brought up the question of what they were going to do when Jade returned and Robbie wondered if they all saw themselves growing old in this house. Sometimes he could picture it. Cat, a nurse, coming home after a long shift; kicking off her shoes and begging him to take her out for pizza. He saw Tori and Andre mulling over a pile of papers in the basement they had converted into a study; sometimes they would be looking at documents about Jade and other times they would be choosing a song to sing at another wedding or small music festival. They would be frowning or smiling, depending on the situation. Beck would be there, sullen in his dark room. Sometimes he would stare at his pictures of Jade and other times he would never leave his room.
Robbie had never once seen Jade and the thought made his breath shaky and head spin.
He knew Beck still cared for Jade; immensely. Similarly, Robbie also knew that Tori also cared for Jade, although she never said why. While Beck remembered every detail of Jade and despised her more and more every day, Tori seemed to forget. When she forgot, she panicked until someone would calm her down by telling them about Jade. Then Tori would smile softly; it seemed like her feelings for Jade grew every day. Robbie wondered what it was that would cause Tori to feel the need to give up on her dream in order to dedicate her life to finding Jade West.
Maybe it was the same thing that made him sell Rex. The fact that everyone seemed to fall apart. Their different parts no longer fit as snuggly as they did when Jade was around. Everyone was lost, soulless, searching for that missing piece. Maybe it was the fact that Beck seemed to fall apart. The very rock that they often used for support during their darkest moments was eroding before them, until he was a pile of dust and Beck-remnants. Robbie hadn't seen Beck in a long time; physically he was always around but Beck Oliver hadn't resurfaced. He seemed to have disappeared along with Jade.
"Hey Tori," Andre called over to the kitchen, startling Robbie from his dark musings, "Did we travel to Byron yet? I don't think we have, have we?"
"No. We haven't. It's one of the few towns we decided to save for last because they were so small. Why?"
"That's where Beck is now." Tori's face peeped out from the kitchen and she looked back and forth, eyebrows furrowed and Andre smiled briefly. She looked a lot like she did in Hollywood Arts just then.
"I thought Beck was hiding up in his room again." She said.
"Nuh-uh. Beck got a gig." Cat repeated as she appeared next to the Latina. "He's going on tour."
"Wait, when did Beck even start performing?"
Robbie and Cat exchanged a look before Robbie spoke, "When Jade…disappeared, Beck pulled out his old guitar and played every night. He's gotten really good at it."
"Yup; Jade always used to say that guys who could play instruments were ten times hotter than guys who couldn't." Cat nodded her head. Tori couldn't help but sneak a glance at Andre who was biting back a small smile. Smiles with them weren't what they used to be; they were often small, reserved and never showed their teeth. Like so many other things, their smiles had changed when Jade disappeared.
"Well Tori, I guess we know where we're going next."
"Byron, here we come."
/\
"…but her friends and family never gave up hope;
they never stopped looking for the runaway princess…"
For the past year, Jade had mulled over Mrs. Chang's words. So much that she found herself thinking about her friends; her parents and even Sikowitz more than she ever did. Even Sinjin had crossed her mind a few times. She had never heard much about Tori Vega or Andre Harris and she wondered what happened to them especially. They were star quality. All of her friends were, yet she never heard anything about them. She had been tempted to google them a few times, but she chickened out more times than she could count. She wasn't sure if she would like what she would see.
They all were probably glad she was gone anyway; they probably long forgot about her. Beck, she bit her lower lip, he would have moved on too. He would have found a new girl, so different from herself, that her entire existence was probably erased. Her father and step-mother were probably joyous to have gotten rid of her. The only person Jade could see heavily affected was her mother. Jade often wondered what it would be like if she lost Olivia and she wondered if this was what her mother felt every day.
They were never really close, like the mother-daughter duo on Gilmore Girls, but they were still close. Much closer than Jade had ever been with her father. She remembered when her parents used to work, her babysitter would read her as many stories as she wanted before bed, until one day Jade's mother decided to quit her job when Jade was seven, to stay home and take care of her. Emily West adored every aspect of her daughter, from her father's electric, baby blue eyes to her curly, brown locks. She loved the burst of energy her daughter had when she would shuffle into the house after school. She loved the face Jade made right before she said something particularly clever. She loved her smile and the way she danced around in the kitchen while waiting for dinner.
Jade wondered what her mother was doing now. She knew that when her parents divorced when she was fourteen, her mother got nothing. Her step-mother had made sure of that. So she juggled 2 jobs, trying to pay off her lawyer bills and the debt she had found herself in. Jade's eyes welled with tears when she thought about her mother. Emily was working those two jobs so she could prove to the state that she could provide Jade with a stable household environment. While she could no longer bask in the luxury that her father could, her mother was always sending her letters and emails from Ohio. She was always calling; in fact, sometimes Jade would have heard from her mother more than she would have heard from her father who was right down the hall in his study.
Jade hadn't seen her mother since the divorce; two months before she turned 15. She wondered what she looked like, if she still smelt of sugar cookies on Sunday afternoons and if she still played the piano every day. Her mother didn't deserve any of the shit her father dished out.
Her mother never saw it coming, did she? Nobody did. Thinking about her mother made Jade heed Mrs. Chang's pleas. Olivia was in kindergarten now. Because her birth certificate said "Jade Olivia West" the school insisted that she be referred to as Jade instead of Olivia. The young girl hadn't been able to understand.
"But Grammy my name 'Livia," she cocked her head to the side and frowned deeply as Mrs. Chang sighed. Olivia's skin often glistened under the sun, tanning perfectly and reminding Jade of Tori Vega. Her black curls often never stayed in place and Jade supposed she should cut the girl's long hair (for it was well past her shoulders) but she could never bring herself to cut the perfect curls. Olivia's small smiles often reminded her of Robbie, the shy boy she met as a child. Her love for music struck a chord as she saw Andre snapping his fingers next to her as Olivia twirled along to the radio. When she got excited, Olivia often squealed and clapped her hands together giddily, a trait Cat, Jade was positive, will never grow out of. When Olivia stomped her foot indigently, Jade saw herself.
But the most prominent characteristic was Olivia's ability to read emotions. Whenever Jade was upset after work, Olivia would hold her mother's hand. She wouldn't speak but occasionally Jade would feel the little girl's eyes studying her, as if Olivia was trying to figure out how exactly she could make her mother feel better. Her daughter was more like Beck than Jade would have liked. She was often calm and easy going; never fussy unless hyped up on sugar, sick or if she missed her nap.
When Olivia started going to school, she often got confused with the different names but by now, she knew that in public, she was Jade, but when she was with her mother or Mrs. Chang (Grammy), she was Olivia.
It was when Jade pictured what her mother was going through; what her own life would be like without Olivia, that she took action. That day Jade gathered all of the belongings she had from her old life and put it in a large, wooden box; intricately designed. In there were her clothes, a thick envelope and a necklace with the promise ring Beck had given her all those years ago. She never fell out of love but it was almost as if Olivia and Mrs. Chang had filled the spaces Beck usually consumed in her life.
Jade picked up the necklace and in its spot was a large, thick envelope. The words "Jade West" were written on it in her loopy, cursive handwriting. She wrote it for Olivia, for Beck and Tori. Robbie, Cat and Andre weren't forgotten. It was a thick, large, envelope. Inside was a short story she wrote a few months after Olivia's birth. Every night, Jade told Olivia about The Runaway Princess, hoping that when she got older, maybe she would be able to piece everything together. She'd be able to understand Jade's decision.
Recently, Jade had a foreboding feeling that she was about to run into her past. If she ever lost custody of Olivia, if Beck snapped and hired lawyers she couldn't afford and painted her as the bad parent, when Olivia got older, she could clue Jade's life together with the story. Olivia was hope. Sometimes, she was the only reason Jade tried as hard as she did. Mrs. Chang and Olivia needed her around. She saw the way Mrs. Chang squinted in the morning before making her cup of tea- her age was finally catching up with her.
"Olivia," she called out loudly and the little girl came scurrying over to her mother. The pitter-patter of her little feet slapping against the tiles echoed throughout the house. Mrs. Chang was visiting her husband's grave that day.
"Mama?" The girl in question grinned and Jade couldn't help but smile back.
"Do you want to hear a story?"
"Yes, oh yes please!" She clapped her hands and bounced in her spot, sending shocks of black curls flying.
"Okay, come sit down next to mommy." Olivia dropped herself into her mother's lap and Jade grunted; when Olivia begun to weigh so much, she wasn't sure. "Are you ready?" Olivia nodded her head furiously and nestled into her mother. "Once upon a time, there was a runaway princess. She ran as fast as her feet could take her…"
/\
"…one day the runaway princess became very ill and died,
leaving behind the missing piece;
Her baby…"
Beck had been in Byron for approximately three days. It was a small town with less than a thousand residents. He really had no idea why all musicians taking part in the tour had to meet in this forsaken town, but it was a rule. He was staying in a local bed and breakfast and listened as the old couple bickered in the morning. He scowled at them impatiently and was immediately reminded of Jade when the woman glowered at him in return while the man apologized for the wait. Beck burned with fury; that could have been him and Jade if she wasn't such a selfish bitch. He calmed down seconds after because maybe if he had been a better boyfriend, Jade would never have runaway.
Beck never liked to think anything other than Jade running away. He sometimes joined Robbie when there were Criminal Minds marathons. He overheard Tori and Cat studying; he knew what could have happened to Jade. He knew but he was certain Jade was perfectly fine. He could almost sense her. On his worst days, she was happy; probably holding hands with some his look alike, strolling through a park. She probably told him things she never told him, like "I love you". That was what got him so angry- the fact that Jade could very well be enjoying her life so much that she had no intention of returning.
After practicing and meeting up with the organizers, Beck had a few free hours each day to roam around. There wasn't much to see; schools, a zoo, parks, one small shopping center and a block of restaurants. Aside from the golf courses, there was nothing special about this town. As he perambulated down the streets, he saw flyers of the performance. His name was printed in small fonts at near the bottom and a crooked smile danced across his face. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? Sure he wasn't acting but he could play the shit out of the guitar and with Cat's help, he managed to improve his singing. It wasn't a big deal or anything but he liked seeing his name on the flyer.
What he liked more was this small town. As much as he resented it, it had grown on him in the last 72 hours. Nobody knew him here; they were pleasant and some were indifferent. Nobody knew him as the heartbroken boy who drank his talent away. Nobody knew the love of his life ran away; disappeared. Nobody knew the shit he had been through; to them he was Beck Oliver, one of the performers. He could almost start over fresh and new.
The country air did him good and he felt the craving for alcohol slowly being feed by the sweet, fall air. That didn't mean it wasn't there; it was, but it was easier to ignore. It was easier to pretend to be someone else when those around him who had no idea who he was in the first place.
Jade West frowned as the flyer slapped her in the face. She pulled it away, a frown etched on her face.
"August, hey. How's Olivia?" She turned to see a frequent customer at Mrs. Chang's restaurant waving from the side of the street she had just come from. "How's Jade?" Because while Jade had revealed her true identity to Mrs. Chang, the rest of the town still knew her as August. Before Olivia was simply regarded as "August's daughter" or "the Chang baby" but as the years passed, and as Olivia began to answer to the name Jade outside of their home, the town learned her name too.
"What a beautiful little girl she is." They would say and Jade would beam down at them proudly, like she had seen her very mother do when she was a young girl.
"She's fine." Jade called back before looking down at the incriminating flyer in her hand. She was about to crumple the coloured flyer when something caught her attention. Two little words that she hadn't seen for an eternity and her heart sped up.
"August, watch out!" A voice called out and Jade looked up and found herself staring a black Volvo in the eye as it sped towards her.
"Beck," was the last thing she remembered saying before bringing her free hand to the ring hanging around her neck as she squeezed her eyes shut. She should have known this would have happened. From the second she put the ring back on.
Beck frowned at the large group of people that were crowded around a car at the bottom of the street; it was an accident. His head snapped up; he swore he heard someone call his name.
"Beck…"
Beck whipped his head to the side, trying to locate the voice. His heart sped up and his found himself running towards the accident. The police were already there, pushing the crowd as far back as they could. An ambulance zoomed past him and Beck felt a sudden chill.
"Beck Oliver?" He turned around and saw one of the organizers behind him. "You're needed for rehearsal. I tried calling but the bed and breakfast manager said you forgot your cellphone at the front desk." The older man gazed down at Beck and frowned, "You okay?"
Beck nodded his head. His mouth was clammy and he started to cold-sweat. He found himself blinking rapidly and his throat burned with bile. No; he wasn't fine. He was coming down with a bug; that must be what was wrong. He spared the accident a last look before he followed the man, ignoring the searing headache that he had suddenly acquired. His breathing became shallow and Beck found himself on the sidewalk, his face against the cement before his eyes flickered shut.
/\
"…when the princess' friends finally found the missing piece, they realized she was not just a baby;
She was all that the runaway princess left for her friends..."
Tori, Andre, Robbie and Cat were unusually silent. Beck was with them, a faraway look in his eyes. When they got a call from the hospital in Byron saying he had collapsed, they all rushed to his side. He was released from the hospital the next day; the doctors didn't know what was wrong. Physically he was fine and therefore, due to hospital policy, despite Robbie's protests, Beck was released. His anger was subdued for the moment.
Cat's eyes were red-rimmed yet there were hopeful. Andre and Robbie avoided eye-contact with everyone and Beck was in his own world, so Tori was the one that lead them; her determination and hope increasing with each step. This was it; there was no turning back. All their hard work was finally paying off.
They walked in silence, sidestepping recent sites. The soil was moist, the sky dark and overcast. Robbie eyed the black birds uneasily as they squawked at them, as they passed by. It smelled like death and soil. It made Andre swallow the lump of lead in his throat and Beck clench his hands.
/ \
A week earlier, Tori and the rest of the gang were home, when her cell phone rang just before she clambered into bed. She looked at the caller I.D. before sighing heavily.
"Hi, dad."
"Tori." Her father's voice was gruff; he almost seemed distressed. "I have to tell you something important."
"Okay, go ahead."
"It's about Jade." Tori's heart beat sped up and she found herself pacing the room.
"What about Jade?"
"We found her. Well, it is believed they found her."
Tori scribbled down the address of the place. "Beck's in Byron right now for a gig! What if he saw her!" Tori shouted, giddy with excitement.
"No. You need to fly out there, all of you; together."
Tori did exactly as she was told. They drove for hours until they found themselves in the little town of Byron. Everyone's eyes shone a little brighter and their small talk seemed more light-hearted than it had been in a long time. They spent the drive imagining Jade's reaction when seeing them. It had been a long while since they laughed like that. Robbie had his arm around Cat's shoulders and Andre hummed as he drove, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to a beat only he could decipher among the traffic while Tori stuck her head out of the window; the cold air freshening her up, sending her hair flying.
However when they arrived in town, they got news of an accident and that Beck Oliver was hospitalized. Immediately jumping to conclusions, they raced over to the local hospital and bombarded the nurse at the front desk with questions. They weren't allowed to see him; not until the doctors finished performing their tests on him. So they made the plastic chairs as comfortable as they could before they were able to see him 14 hours later when he woke from his slumber. The doctors came out to see them, curiosity evident on their faces.
"We performed many tests on Mr. Oliver. Physically he is fine and unharmed, despite a grazed cheek from the sidewalk. We can conclude that Mr. Oliver is mentally weak and needs to rest and perhaps visit a therapist or seek counseling." He was allowed to check out of the hospital under strict orders to take it easy and thus, Beck Oliver was no longer able to perform in the music tour he was a part of. Everyone was too busy fussing over Beck, making sure he never had another mental breakdown before the remembered why they were really there. In reality, they all remembered; you don't spend 3 years of your life looking for a friend, only to forget about them in a span of 3 days. Nobody wanted to bring it up in front of Beck, for fear of him having another breakdown. They didn't believe him when he said his pain was physical and not mental. He wasn't going crazy. He knew damn well what happened to his body, even if nobody else wanted to believe in him.
Tori's father had given Tori an address. Together with Andre she visited the address, taking a week to muster enough courage to practice what she was going to say when she saw Jade. There was no doubt in her mind that Jade was with them. Tori could feel her; Jade had a way of leaving a distinct mark on people. Like the ones she had left on the five of them; Tori could point them out, the ones that had interacted with Jade or at least, the ones that knew her well enough.
/ \
They all followed Tori like soldiers following their leader. She walked swiftly and took big steps. Cat struggled to keep up and Robbie often slowed down to wait on her. Tori had a small smile on her face. She couldn't wait to see Jade's face when she saw them. The cold wind nipped at her cheeks and on any other day, Tori would have pulled her jacket closer to her body, but she was much too excited by the thought of finding Jade. She had forgotten so many things; the way she laughed, the way she mocked Tori with a southern belle accent, her favorite food and how she liked her coffee. She was forgetting more and more every day but she wasn't worried; not anymore.
Once she found Jade, things would immediately fall into place. Tori was sure she'd never forget anything after that. She had promised Jade she would never forget her and while she was forgetting some aspects of Jade, Tori would never forget Jade herself.
"I see some people up ahead." Tori said and walked faster.
Andre looked nervously around him and cleared his throat, earning him a glare from Beck. Andre never felt comfortable in these places; nobody was but they were all blinded by their excitement to take in their surroundings and the impacts it might have on all of them. Andre and Robbie exchanged another look; they were the only two that seemed to have an inkling of what was going on but neither spoke up.
Tori and Cat should have their moment.
Andre shivered; it was eerily silent. The trees were still, there was no wind, no birds in their air and it seemed as if the clouds weren't moving. The world was on pause for this moment.
Beck looked around them disdainfully. Some were tall statues, peering down at them critically, some were small and rectangular. Others were simple while others ornate. The engravings varied for each one and Beck couldn't help but wonder what his own would look like…
When Tori and Andre pulled at the office, their smiles were long gone. Her father had never specified where they were going.
But when they met the doctor, he shook his head and told them, "Sorry to have dragged you all this way but she's been identified."
"Can we at least see her?" Tori asked, eyes wide while Andre scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He didn't know how to handle this situation.
"I'm sorry," the doctor shook his head, "I can't. It's policy." On seeing Tori's downtrodden face, the doctor bit his lower lip and hurriedly gave them directions to another building. "She used to work there. They'll have her pictures up on the wall for Employee of the Month." Tori snatched the piece of paper and scurried away without so much as a second glance, urging Andre to keep up. In the car, Tori pulled out her cell phone and frantically called Cat and called out directions so they could all see Jade together.
A mere five minutes later, they were all outside the restaurant. Tori looked around, wondering how Jade could have spent the last 3 years of her life working.
"Tori, we're not even sure if this girl is Jade. This is just a hunch." Robbie spoke firmly but Tori ignored him and pushed open the glass door with such gusto that several customers arched their eyebrows as she bounced into the restaurant.
"Excuse me," Tori rushed up to a waitress, breathless, with Cat close behind her. "I'm looking for a Jade West." The waitress' face lit up.
"Ah yes, Jade. What a sweet little girl." The waitress nodded her head and Beck rolled his eyes. Unlike Tori, he wasn't looking forward to this reunion at all. He would have slipped away too, if Andre wasn't keeping an eye on him. Beck wasn't in idiot, he was just released from the hospital; he was no match for Andre.
Actually, he lied. He desperately wanted to see Jade; to ask her so many questions. He wanted to see if she was the same old Jade he knew or if she was somehow different. He wanted to know how she spent the last few year. He wanted to know how it felt with her hand in his, with her breath on her neck. He wondered if she used the same coconut shampoo. Tori's anxiety was spreading; he knew it was. But Beck used to act, he knew how to hide his true emotions.
"I wouldn't say sweet." Beck said and the waitress pursed her lips, obviously displeased with his response.
"Please, we're her friends. Can you please tell us where she is?" Tori rushed her words out into a jumbled mess and the waitress seemed almost uncomfortable.
"I don't think that's a good idea." She said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"Please lady. We need to find her." Cat spoke up, tears streaming down her face. She sniffled loudly and the woman eyed all of them before she called out an address. "She's visiting her mother."
"Since when did Jade's mother move here?" Robbie asked as the rushed after Tori. She seemed to be getting ahead of herself. Her face was pink and she kept shooting them impatient looks when they walked too slowly.
"Come on guys, let's get going already! We don't want to miss her!" Tori and Cat scrambled to the car.
"Something doesn't add up." Robbie spoke to himself loudly and Andre shook his head; no, something didn't fit in this puzzle.
Beck was doing his best to act as disinterested as he could but Andre saw him drumming his fingers against his knee impatiently. In that second, he felt something in his chest flutter after three long years.
/ \
"Tori, I don't think…" Robbie started but Tori had already grabbed Cat by the hand and they were a good distance ahead.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Andre murmured.
"Me too," Robbie replied but Beck remained silent. He seemed to be operating on auto-pilot. Beck was scrambling to control his raging emotions. He wanted to run ahead of Tori but his pride held him back.
"Jade!" They heard Tori call out. Cat froze, tears streaming down her face but Tori didn't stop for her.
"Robbie," Cat said, "I don't think this is…"
"Let's just wait and see." Robbie spoke in a soothing voice as he approached the shorter woman.
"Jade it's me; Tori." Tori waved her hands ridiculously. The rest of the gang picked up the pace and were eventually by Tori's side. She was a good few feet away from the figures; their backs were turned to them. Both were dressed in black and Tori felt her heart sink into her stomach as if made of lead. Her voice weakened and she froze in place. Behind her, Cat wouldn't stop crying. "Jade West, turn around!" The shorter figure turned around and Tori took a step back. She stumbled back and stretched her hand forward, waiting for Jade to catch her and pull into place but Andre stopped her from falling over instead. Tori's mouth was dry and she forgot how to breathe, for she was hyperventilating.
"Yes?"
"You- you're not Jade West." Tori stammered. Beck finally managed to pick his eyes off from studying the floor. He studied the girl, her wide eyes, her luscious curls and her frown.
"Yes I am."
"No, you're not. I know Jade. You're not Jade." Tori almost seemed lost. Her voice was soft, nothing short of an echo and her shoulders sagged. She found tears rolling down her face and sniffled, but Tori didn't seem to notice. Jade was the only thing on her mind.
The little girl clenched her fists and unclenched them. Something about her blue eyes stirred an eerie feeling in the pit of Tori's stomach. Everyone seemed rooted in place, so Beck took the lead; something he hadn't done in a long time. The figure next to the girl turned around and Beck frowned as an old woman gazed at him with steely, brown eyes. Beck ignored the older woman and knelt in front of the little girl. He pulled out his wallet and showed the little girl an old, yellowed picture.
"This is Jade West, do you know her?" He asked her gently and watched as her eyes lit up. He thought it was because she recognized his Jade but he realized she had never even looked at the picture; she was staring at his neck. Subconsciously he raised a hand and touched the ring around it. The little girl fumbled with a wooden box, Beck never noticed before, at her feet. She rummaged through plaid t-shirts Beck recognized all too well.
She pulled out a letter, "I can't read," she said a matter-of-factly. Beck almost smiled at her antics. "So she told me the story." Tori ignored the familiar scrawl on the letter. This wasn't real. She could feel Jade. She was here. But…but this wasn't the Jade she knew. Next to her, Cat was still sobbing in Robbie's arms. She always knew; they both knew that when Jade returned she wouldn't be the same. But this wasn't what Cat was excepting. She had spent the last three years, preparing for Jade's return yet the books never told her how to handle her emotions when she would finally meet her. Andre and Robbie were shooting each other knowing looks. The had long toyed with the idea that Jade would have moved on; that she would have a family of her own; that she was happy and didn't want to be found. They did all this secretly, of course. But they were expecting it. Still, that did nothing to lift their heavy hearts.
"What story?"
"The story of the runaway princess, of course!" The little girl giggled and the old woman took the box away from the tiny girl.
Beck watched she the girl dug deep into her skirt pocket until she found what she was looking for. Something in his mind clicked. He saw her ivory skin, her black curls and her blue eyes. He recognized her lips pursed in concentration, often in pictures of himself as a young boy, trying to achieve an unmanageable task. His heart sped up and Beck blinked. A smile crept upon his face as the little girl's eyes shone back up at him. Those eyes were Jade's eyes. From her little black, frilly dress to the white bow in her hair; Beck felt like he knew this girl. His heart was accepting her but his brain refused to admit that this girl; this stranger could be affecting his emotions so well.
His heart swelled as she gave Tori and the rest of the gang a reassuring smile. In front of him, hung a similar ring, dangling from her outstretched hand. Beck stared dumbly at the little girl in front of him. He didn't know what to say. His mouth dried up and he blinked rapidly.
"Where did you get that?" He whispered harshly and the little girl took a step back, wrapping a little arm around the old woman's leg.
"Who told you the story?" Tori asked softly, her caramel eyes damp. Cat's body shook with silent sobs next to her.
"My mommy."
Tori opened her mouth to question the girl further until she saw what was behind them. Her throat burned and she side stepped the little girl and the old woman. Tori stared at the gravestone.
Here lies J. August West.
Beck's Girl.
A beloved mother, daughter, friend and lover.
1993-2015
"Mommy said when the runaway princess turned into a queen, she would disappear and when she did, her family would come and find the last piece she had hidden." The little girl looked up Tori and Tori bit blinked back tears as she gazed into those familiar baby, blue eyes. "The king and all the queen's brothers and sisters will find the last piece and the queen will live forever." Cat seemed to be the only one who understood what the girl was saying.
"Are you saying we're the ones from the story?" She asked, pulling away from Robbie. All the while, Beck was still kneeling on the ground, upturned soil, staining his pants. The old woman remained silent; she too had heard the story and she was able to pin point each and every character.
"You are Princess Caterina," the girl pointed at Cat, "You're Princess Victoria, you're Prince Robert and you are Prince Andre." She pointed to each of them.
"Have you seen pictures of us?" Robbie was taken aback.
"No, I know from mommy's words. She told me about you all. Kind Oliver would come and find the missing piece." The girl frowned after her sentence, "does this mean mommy isn't coming back?" Her face crumpled and fat tears raced each other down her face. She wailed and dropped the necklace. The first person she ran to was King Oliver, who was still kneeling. He was so shocked that he didn't know how to respond so he settled for patting her back awkwardly instead.
"What did you say your name was?" Tori whispered. Tori finally understood; Jade West, this little girl, was all that remained of the Jade she knew. Her tears had stopped but that didn't mean Tori was okay with Jade's death. She felt like she was floating away somehow, like she was here but she really wasn't. This wasn't real to her but Tori wasn't losing Jade. If this was all that remained; she would take it. She had to take care of this little girl now, of this new Jade. And she would do it, not because she was obligated to, but because this would be how Tori would remember Jade. Maybe she was forgetting the old Jade, to make room for this new one? Whatever the reason, she knew that she was connected to this little girl. Jade said she would never forget about her, and with this, Tori knew she probably never would.
"Jade Olivia West." Supplied the old woman. "She's Jade Olivia West."
"Missed you by a week." Beck whispered.
"Missed you for three years," Tori had said.
"…she was all the runaway princess had left of herself;
Her most valuable possession, she left for her friends and family;
Hoping they could use the missing piece to make themselves whole again."
(.x.)
Congratulations! You've managed to make it this far! Here's a virtual cookie. Review and tell me what you think? If not for me, for my soul-mate Annika, AKA lowlaury who worked incredibly hard on this, seeing as I am the Queen of Typos and have a tendency to write "Troi" instead of "Tori". She really did the most work here. If you haven't checked out any of her fics, I suggest you do so now. This is no joking matter. She's amazing and without her, I never would've even posted his because I would be floating in the Bermuda Triangle right now.
Secondly, check out LeleD2010's latest fic. Like, now. If you've reviewed here, she's expecting one from you for her latest trilogy. It's reaaally something.
I don't feel like explaining myself or any metaphors. If you don't get it, I failed once again. If you have, that's great!