A/N: Here goes China, and thanks for the reviews!

Rated K+ for now. Maybe will change upon doing France or Romano, because you know it's impossible to stay rated K with those two.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Got it? Good.

Thirteen Things China Won't Tell You

1. You know I can end a sentence without adding –aru at the end.

2. If you are America, pay back my debt already, if you let it continue to keep on accumulating, someday you're going to owe more than you can pay back, aru. Actually, you already do, so at least pay some back by now.

3. Russia, stop sneaking into my home with a panda costume on, the joke is really getting old by now. And don't you dare touch Shinatty-chan, go bother Japan or something. He can probably make you miniature sunflowers, aru.

4. If you are England, just watch. Someday you will get what you gave me back, and you have been warned, ahen.

5. I know my villas are all around the world, but I don't think I've been to all of them. I don't really keep track of them, my citizens just randomly start to build them…

6. Japan, I do make my own original games! Don't expect that everything is pirated from you, aru. And it still hurts to think about when you left me, so don't go around rubbing it in my face.

7. Belarus, don't kill me! Every time Russia comes over it's of his own will! In fact, you should keep him on a leash, and he'll bother me less, aru. Yes, that's a good idea.

8. Taiwan, you are not a separate country, you still belong to me, aru. Don't go around getting ideas, no matter how many people believe you are a separate country, I refuse to acknowledge it.

9. If this is South Korea, what can I start with? Please stop claiming Japan and my chests. Don't follow us around everywhere just because you feel lonely. Why don't you find someone not from Asia to be with? Not America though, he still owes me a lot of money, aru.

10. If this is Hong Kong, just ignore England. I know he comes by often and knocks on my door but make sure not to answer it. Because I really don't want to see him before I finish carrying out my plans.

11. Spain, let's trade food sometime. I think we have the best food out of the countries' cooking.

12. If this is France, please go away, aru. There's no need to elaborate further about why.

13. If anyone wants a snack, please visit my home or my villas! One thing I will never be sad to share is my amazing food and culture, aru!

A/N: Sorry it's not very good for this one, China mainly sticks around his Asia group and the Allies. Rambling from here on, so feel free to leave.

Plus I am Chinese, from Shanghai specifically. And the Taiwan bit, I hope I do not offend anyone. I just stuck that in because there are some people in mainland China who refuse to acknowledge Taiwan as a separate country… personally I don't take a stance on this argument at all, but I assumed China would be against it because, well, more land is more power, right?

I do think Spanish food is awesome, my own little tidbit there, sorry. XD

And us Chinese (Asians in general) will begin our counterattack against spreading American influence… we will infiltrate American culture! (Lol, too bad the Spanish got here first and did it before us. XD)

Review if you wanna suggest who to do next. I'm thinking the Allies first, but I can do the Axis and the others.