Warnings: Lovino's language, and unintentionally implied Itacest from our innocent little Feliciano.

"Fratello, fratello!" Lovino Vargas groaned softly as his brother's high-pitched voice broke through his carefully constructed concentration. The careful concentration that had taken the elder Vargas brother over an hour to build, much to his irritation. He had an upcoming test the following week, and the younger male had shattered his much needed focus in less than a millisecond! It was in moments such as this when Lovino found himself wishing murder was legal.

"What do you want, Feliciano?" The younger of the pair was bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet by now, completely oblivious to the death glare he was currently receiving from his brother. He almost looked like he was going to explode at any given time actually, much to Lovino's mild amusement. Mild being the key word – he was still furious with the younger for disrupting him; no amount of strange expressions would change that any time soon.

"Fratello, I have a question!"

"When don't you?" Lovino's voice was little more than a mutter as he spoke, and he turned his attention back to the notes before him with the full intent of ignoring his brother. His intent was completely ignored by said brother as the younger started speaking again, the volume of his voice actually seeming to raise a couple of notches.

"Fratello, I want you to answer it!" Feliciano's childish whines were starting to grate on Lovino's nerves by now, and the last of his patience was finally pushed off its critical ledge when the younger Italian started tugging insistently on his sleeve, earning him another glare.

"Alright, fine! What's your damn question?" The smaller Vargas' smile grew wide when his brother finally acknowledged him, and the innocence in his expression left Lovino completely unprepared for the words that came next.

"Fratello, what does 'sex' mean?" The only response Feliciano received to his question at first was a blank stare from his beloved brother, a small frown adorning his expression as the elder's mind overworked itself trying to process what he'd just been asked. Lovino's mind refused to comprehend the words though – after all, there wasn't a chance such an enquiry had actually come from the pure child before him… Right?

"I'm sorry, can you say that again? I think I must have misheard you." Feliciano tilted his head slightly to the side, confused by the other's strange behaviour, but shrugged anyway and repeated himself. Again, Lovino stared at him quietly, unable to process the question for several moments before his face turned a bright shade of red. "W-Why the hell are you asking me, idiot?"

"Because I had no one else to ask!" The younger pouted at the insult that left his flustered brother, confused by the other's actions. What was so bad about his question that had invoked such a reaction from the elder?

"Ask Nonno, dumbass!"

"I tried! He made a strange noise before telling me to ask you." Feliciano's response received a bemused look from the other for a moment before Lovino groaned, burying his face in his folded arms. Damn old man, he was always doing things like this! It was the main reason why Lovino felt like he was the one raising Feliciano half the time, rather than their guardian. The eldest Italian was so irresponsible!

"Where the hell did you hear this word anyway..?" Lovino asked the question cautiously, using it as a method of stalling his own answer despite not really wanting to know.

"I heard Nonno talking about it with Ludwig's Nonno when I was at their house the other day!" Another prime example of how irresponsible their grandfather was. He should know better than to talk about that of all things, especially when under the same roof as children! And now, despite Feliciano's curiosity being his fault, the elder had the nerve to back out of explaining! Damn it, Lovino was going to give him a piece of his mind later. "So, what does it mean?"

"Er…" Lovino faltered, racking his brain for an excuse that would get him out of this situation. Unfortunately for him, his mind pulled a blank – if he rejected the younger Italian, Feliciano would just go find someone else to explain it to him. And knowing their luck that someone would probably be Francis… Lovino shuddered at the mere thought of the Frenchman explaining anything to his brother, let alone sex of all things. The thought alone was mortifying; his baby brother would be scarred for life!

"Fratello?"

"It's, um…" The elder male's voice had been reduced to little more than a whisper by now, his cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink as he thought desperately for a way to explain. It didn't take long – maybe thirty seconds – for him to give up on creating his own explanation and instead try to think back to the explanation Antonio had given him a few years ago. As much as he hadn't wanted to ask the Spaniard, his curiosity had gotten the best of him a few years previous, and he'd reluctantly asked the elder man the exact question he was being asked now, having more faith in his friend than he did his stupid grandfather.

"Well, er…" Lovino opened his mouth to start explaining, but hesitated momentarily, unwilling to speak. The impatience on his brother's face was becoming more prominent though, and with a resigned sigh he finally gave in. "Sex is… Um… Well, it's when… Er… Well, um, when two individuals love each other dearly they can… Um… Express their affection through a, er, physical act… Which is sex… It's, um… Yeah…" The elder Italian's face was a bright red by now, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a deep, dark hole in a secluded corner of the world and die at this moment. "So, um, yeah… It's an act… That's generally done by two people who love each other…"

"I see…" Feliciano studied his brother carefully, eyes alight with interest. "So it's done between people who love each other?" Lovino nodded weakly, suddenly taking a large interest in the textbook that lay under him – the very textbook he'd been cursing less than an hour ago. "So does that mean fratello and I can do it?" Lovino stiffened considerably at this, choking on his saliva as the comment left his brother's lips with all the innocence in the world.

"W-W-What?"

"Can fratello and I have sex?" The younger's smile seemed to shine all the more purely as he repeated his question. The blush on Lovino's face had spread to his neck by now, and he found himself asking God why he was being put through this torture.

"N-No Feli, family don't normally have sex with each other…"

"Ve? But you said it was done between people who love each other!" Another groan escaped Lovino as he buried his face in the palms of his hands, trying to ignore the fact that his nerves were going haywire by this point.

"People who are in love have sex Feli – romantic love, not platonic. Like, er, people who are dating or married." Feliciano made a soft 'o' shape with his mouth at this explanation, and Lovino prayed that his brother would drop the subject now.

His prayer went unanswered.

"I see! Does that mean you and Antonio are having sex?" An involuntary shriek left the elder Italian at these words, and he finally looked at his brother with wide, shocked eyes.

"E-Excuse me?"

"See, the other day Francis and Antonio were over at Ludwig's house, and we heard Francis and Gilbert teasing Antonio about his crush on you! Crushes involve romantic feelings, right?" Feliciano smiled widely when his brother nodded mutely. "So you two are dating, right?"

"No! No, we are not dating, and we are not having sex!" Lovino's voice was starting to raise several octaves in his flustered state, earning him a curious look from the younger Vargas. "Now, is that everything?" A small whimper almost escaped the short-tempered Italian when the other shook his head.

"Is it impossible for family to have sex with each other?"

"W-Well no, it's not impossible…" Lovino frowned slightly, confused on why they were back to the topic of incest. He found himself regretting his reply moments later though as the younger brightened up.

"Does that mean fratello and I can have sex?"

"W-Wha-? No!" Lovino shook his head frantically, his skin tone continuing to turn an ever darker shade of red the further the conversation continued.

"Why not?" The elder Vargas winced as his brother's eyes became teary. This wasn't fair; why was he of all people being put through this torment?

"B-Because it's wrong… I mean, brothers aren't supposed to have romantic relations with each other… A-And besides, even if we did do it, you wouldn't want me to be your first…" Lovino's voice had gotten dreadfully quiet as he struggled with his words, the embarrassment he was feeling causing his throat to tighten painfully.

"How come?" The elder Italian's breath stopped momentarily as he stared at his brother in awe. How could one individual be so freaking oblivious?

"W-Well because, your first time should be with someone special, not your brother…"

"But fratello is special!" Lovino shook his head, hiding his face between his arms. Was the younger doing this on purpose, just to humiliate him?

"Feli, I mean someone you feel something special for – an individual you dearly and truly love."

"But fratello, I want to do it with you first!" Feliciano wasn't understanding. The was no way he had understood anything Lovino had unsuccessfully tried to explain – he wouldn't still be insisting that the other be his first if he had. But the elder Vargas was growing tired of arguing now, and he had a feeling his voice would stop working if he had to deal with this uncomfortable conversation any longer, so after a couple moments indecision he gave a reluctant sigh of defeat.

"Fine, whatever. It'll be at least three years before you can have sex anyway, the legal age of consent is fourteen here…"

"I see! So when I'm fourteen fratello will have sex with me?"

"Did I say fourteen? Sorry, I meant eighteen."

"Okay, then when I'm eighteen?"

Lovino bit his lip at his brother's persistence, trying to restrain the scream of frustration that desperately wanted to tear from him. Again, he found himself asking why he had to be put through this.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. We'll see." The elder muttered the consent under his breath, his voice barely more than a whisper. The answer satisfied Feliciano though, and after pressing a quick kiss to his brother's lips – a habit of his that had always drove Lovino crazy – the younger ran out of the elder's room with a cheerful 'thank you, fratello!' thrown over his shoulder. The elder Italian merely laid on his bed for a moment, trying to process exactly what had just happened before a whine leaked from him, and he buried his face in his pillow. His homework was now long forgotten as he cursed his brother, and existence of humankind in general.

"I hate my fucking life…"

... I had too much fun with this owo;

But, yeah, this is an idea that I've probably had for a week or so, so on I think Sunday night I finally got around to writing it. And it's my first story using my new technique of writing :3 I hope it's good, I don't think there are any mistakes o: (There shouldn't be, it was written three times and edited ==)

This is how I picture Feliciano learning about sex owo; I think Grandpa Rome wouldn't want to explain such a thing to his precious grandchild, so the job would be passed on to Lovino =w= Poor Lovino~

Feliciano is eleven in this (Lovino's fourteen). I like to cling onto the belief that at the age of eleven he would have no idea what sex is, even if most kids nowadays do know at that age == I can dream, yes? =^=

Also, I may possibly write another part... XD It depends on if I can elaborate on my idea more, and if anyone actually wants me to continue. If any of you have ideas feel free to share! ^^

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and reviews are always appreciated~ Thank you ^^