Dance with the Devil

He stared at the reflection he saw in the water.

That was not him.

He won't accept that as a part of him—or someone who will become him in the near future. That was a monster and even though he was called as one during his childhood days, he certainly knew he wasn't a monster; though a very little part of him told him that he was a monster.

He was a monster who killed his own father out of selfishness.

Gray eyes continued to the reflection stretched his hands forward as if reaching for him.

"No!"

His eyes widened and moved backwards, his foot accidentally touching the water. The reflection disappeared and ripples formed on the water.

He closed his eyes and stood up. He somehow felt that danger was close to him. Crown Clown seemed to agree. He knew that he was helpless—he didn't have food or anything at all—and left for dead. He knew that he might die while travelling and escaping the Order, the Noah and Apocryphos.

He smiled grimly as a fragment of his memories suddenly appeared.

He remembered that once in his childhood years, he asked Mana about his parents. His father remained silent. He was getting impatient. Mana then told him that he knew nothing about his parents. He then left to find out things by himself. Eventually, he got lost and didn't even found a single thing. Then the night came and he was left crying in the swing. He heard footsteps and lifted his head to see who it was. It was Mana, smiling with open arms. Even though he left, Mana still accepted him. So he ran back to his father's arms.

Allen Walker wondered if it was going to be the same with the Order.

. . .

The last few months were agonizing.

She felt empty, broken and dead. The others noticed it too. Her eyes weren't the same anymore. Her smile didn't reach her ears—or even sometimes, she didn't smile at all. And the coffee didn't taste as delicious as before; maybe because it lacked of love and happiness.

She laughed bitterly. This seemed like a déjà vu of her childhood.

Her childhood wherein she was experimented, forced, and hurt, her childhood which was full of tears, pain and suffering and her childhood which lacked someone. Komui, her dear brother was almost missing throughout her whole childhood. But when she felt those familiar, soft hands pat her head from the bedside, tears cascaded down her cheeks and she tugged on his sleeves as if it was needed so she can live.

She bit her lip and ran her hands down her time, she wasn't experimented on; she wasn't forced to synchronize with her innocence and her legs and arms weren't spread out, like a sacrificial lamb, and posted to the bedposts. She was also free to wander around the Order. But still, her life now lacked of people again.

Her three best and closest friends missing or even dead—please, please, don't let them die—and she couldn't help but to break into fits of sobs. She didn't want to look weak and overly dramatic to others but had they lost three important and big pieces of their world? They didn't felt the worry and pain she had felt.

Her door creaked open. "Lenalee?"

"B-Brother?" she managed to croak out. Her brother smiled and hugged her. She missed those times when they hugged like this. She smiled sadly and buried her face in her brother's chest.

She didn't know whether to follow them or to stay here with her brother.

. . .

He knew that he was never free.

He knew that he was just a soldier meant for war. (Or perhaps was he created for war?) That was why he just kept on following orders like a dog. He never let himself astray. He always had a clear mind. And his mind was only focused on finding that woman (He didn't gave a damn about the war as long as he found the woman)

That was until Alma Karma suddenly entered his life again.

He knew he killed him. He knew he did.

Then why was his old friend's body in his arms and decaying slowly? He cried until his tears were all dried up. Why the hell did he only knew now that he was the woman he was looking for? Why did he have to die now? Can't he live for a bit longer?

His once straight and clear mind was now clouded with questions. He then noticed that Alma's body was now completely disintegrated. He then felt the pain on his body and heart again. He slowly fell down and felt the cold floor against his cheeks. He knew that he couldn't die now.

He couldn't die now that he was free. Not now that his shackles and chains were now gone. He closed his eyes. Damn it all, his body was betraying him. His body was supposed to follow whatever his mind wanted.

But he let his eyelids fell and just like that, Kanda Yu went to sleep. But something was bothering him so he couldn't get a peaceful sleep.

. . .

Observe, observe, observe and write.

That was his purpose in life: to observe the world and to record it. He was Bookman after all and Bookmen were only supposed to record. That was their only purpose in life.

Or so he thought.

Before he met the members of the Order, all he knew about was war and death. The old panda was his only comrade back then. Sure, they might bicker and fight sometimes but they stuck with each other until the end. They changed sides time to time but they always had each others backs.

Then they went to the Order's side. He knew that this was the losing side. This side was lifeless and dying. Then his eyes wandered to the people. A girl stood out. The girl was crying and was full of wounds and bandages.

'She must be an exorcist'. He thought.

Then tears streamed down from her eyes and he could feel her eyes on him. She saw him.

A few days later, she was already smiling and laughing. He was sitting alone when she approached him with a guy with glasses.

"Hi! I'm Lenalee Lee! And this is Johnny."

"I'm here to take your measurements. It's for the uniform."

And then she grabbed his arm and went to the Science Department. After that, he immediately cheered up. He gave them a fake smile. He gave a fake laugh. But then, there came a point when he didn't know whether his smiling face was false or not.

And before he knew it, he wanted to meddle with the Order's decisions. (Just like how he wanted to do something when Lenalee was forced to synchronize with her innocence and like how he wanted to prove them wrong because they thought Allen was a criminal and traitor.) But Old Panda told him that he shouldn't for they were merely observers.

Cough. Cough. And we're back to the present.

He couldn't open his eyes. He was too weak and too tired. And he felt something disgusting. Heh, was this supposed to be how death feel s like?

He heard Old Panda and a stranger talk. And he didn't like the sound of their talk.

He immediately knew that he should get out of here along with the Old Panda.

. . .

Allen would do anything to protect everyone. Even if that meant that he would dance with the devil himself.

Lenalee already danced with the devil. She already danced with it when she wanted to protect her brother and her world. She doesn't know how but in a way, she knew she did.

Kanda was used to dancing with the devil. He did that long ago just to find that woman. But now….now that she's dead, he thought he'd stop dancing with it. But he didn't. He danced with it again to find Allen Walker.

Lavi knew that it had a consequence. And this was it. He danced with the devil and he got his consequence.

SORRYY!

I'm sorry if I can't regularly update! I'm very busy and I'm glad I finished this while making the script for our musical. We had to make a musical with Christmas touch and with High School Musical songs in it. It's hard! Can anyone give me tips! Also, I hoped you like this one shot I made! I know…this is different because I don't usually write fics this way. My friend challenged me to do this and I did. So ha!

Also, I managed to write this fic because manga updates inspire me to write fics! This is loosely based on the recent chapters.

Anyways, thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated.