Author's Note: Set during the time Light has no memories of the Death Note

Light sat in the chair in front of the computer, his eyes drifting shut every few seconds. It was a few weeks into the Kira investigation now, and they had been up very late comparing notes and theories, seeing as they felt they were getting very close to another breakthrough. Finally, Light yawned.

"Ryuzaki…" he murmured, turning his head to look sleepily at the young man sitting in the seat next to him, who had his finger resting on his lips as he stared calmly at the screen in front of him. It was very hard to tell if he was tired or not—seeing as there were always dark lines beneath his eyes. "It's after midnight… Do you know how long we've been at this? I'm too tired to work anymore… You think we might could go to bed?" He lifted his hand to show the chain connecting them as it rattled softly, raising an eyebrow.

L paused for a moment, as if he didn't hear Light. Then he reached out for the mouse and closed the screen, shutting the computer down. Light had gotten used to L's methods, and had learned to interpret him very well—it was almost as if they didn't really need words anymore anyways. It helped that they were the two most brilliant minds in the world, too. L stood from his chair, his back slightly hunched over as usual, his hands in his pockets, as Light shut down his computer. He turned and looked at L, who then began walking silently to their room as Light followed close behind. He never liked being too close to L—it was just weird… The whole situation with him just felt odd…

L's room—and Light's too, seeing as they could never be more than five feet away from each other—was in the innermost part of the secret headquarters, slightly larger than all the others. It had a huge king sized bed—a seemingly awkward situation for Light at first, before he remembered that he was chained to the mysterious black-haired boy.

Light was wearing no shirt and dark blue plaid, flannel pajama pants, and L was wearing a plain white sweatshirt and black sweatpants, as usual when they slept. L sat down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, Light sitting down on the other end. There was always tension between them—it was hard to explain their relationship, so neither of them ever tried. As far as they were concerned, they were together for the investigation's sake only. But sometimes one of them would wonder if they would ever talk if they knew each other outside of the investigation. But that didn't matter. To L, Light was a suspect, and that was dangerous. He could not talk to Light as a friend. And to Light, all that mattered was finding this criminal, making sense of this whole thing and where he came in to it. And the fact that he was a potential murderer in L's eyes didn't help his case. So there was no room for friendship here, at least not now, if ever. They were chained together for the sake of this case. And they didn't talk much about anything outside of the case.

"How much longer do you think we can keep this up…?" Light finally asked quietly, breaking the silence.

L didn't move, "Keep what up?" he asked simply, equally quiet.

"This investigation…" There was a pause as he thought of how to say what was on his mind. "It just seems that… If it's taking the best detective in the world and Japan's top honor student this long to get this far—and we haven't even made any real progress—then what makes us think that—"

"No real progress?" L interrupted quietly, still looking up at the ceiling. "Light… We have come so far since the beginning of this investigation. We've uncovered so much with very little evidence to work with, and we're only a small step behind them—and we're very close to closing that gap… I just have the oddest feeling like what we're working with… isn't human…" He was quiet for a moment and then he continued, "What I mean to say is, yes it's taking a while… But with something this big—something that seems so inhumanly perfect—we have to be careful. There is no room for guessing. No room for mistakes."

"But there's no room for hesitation either." Light sat up, looking at L, his voice suddenly more serious, "Ryuzaki, I don't think you realize that every day we sit here trying to come up with our theories and ration this thing out—people are dying." That's all he said, because that's all that needed to be said.

L pulled a piece of candy out of his pocket now, opening it slowly. "Light…" he began simply, putting the candy in his mouth and chewing it simply, "If we make one wrong move, one little slip, it could easily cost us our lives. Many other people could die from our mistakes too—and many other people are dying, as horrible as that is—but if we were to die… who would help the people then? I think we both know that we are the world's only hope against whatever it is we're up against."

Light looked down at the floor unhappily. "I just want it to be over…"

There was a long silence after that, L swallowed his candy, and then Light began to pull the covers back, lying down underneath them and turning away from L. L sat still for a minute or two.

"I don't…" he murmured softly.

"You don't what…? You don't want it to be over?" Light asked, deeply confused. Suddenly, he threw the covers off and rolled over to look at L, sitting up on his elbows. "What kind of sick bastard are you?"

L looked Light in the eyes, as if not sure what to say to that. But eventually, he just turned his head and began to lie down, but before he was able to, Light reared back and punched him hard in the face. L didn't react at first, but then in a sudden motion, he jerked the chain on Light's wrist tightly, hard enough to leave a bad bruise. He didn't really want to fight the boy right now, but as usual, he would show that he was not weak. As he jerked Light toward him, he hooked him in the side of the face, hard enough to make him fall back on the bed, hoping that it would end the fight. Light kept his face turned away from L as he clutched his temple with his hand in pain.

"What the hell is wrong with you…" he finally murmured, voice calm again but still bitterly frustrated and annoyed.

"Me? I'm not the one who started the fight." He turned to face forward again, sitting on his feet. "Light, you are very intelligent and insightful, but you seem to miss an important detail. You don't consider your opponent's outlook."

"Hmph. So now I'm your opponent?" Light grumbled under his breath.

"In theory."

"'In theory'. So you don't still think I'm Kira?" he asked quietly.

L didn't respond. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to say it… He had said too much already. He didn't want this man to be Kira anymore. But he still couldn't let go of the notion that Light could have been—or could somehow still be—Kira.

After a minute of silence, Light, frustrated with the fact that L hadn't answered, huffed, "Fine then. I'm going to sleep. Don't bother me anymore."

L then settled under the covers himself, curling over onto his side, facing Light, whose back was still to L. "Goodnight, Light."

"What, you're going to sleep?" Light asked in a harsh voice, mockingly thoughtful, "Hm. It had just never occurred to me that you would actually sleep. Like a real human being…"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I just plug in and recharge," L came back quietly, playing along, though his voice was nowhere near as harsh as Light's.

Light didn't say anything. He just closed his eyes and tried to sleep. But after a couple minutes, L spoke again.

"Light."

"Hmph," Light grumbled impatiently. He just wanted the boy to shut up and go to sleep and leave him alone.

"Of course I want this to be over… I just don't want it to end because there are two possibilities. The first is that you are Kira, in which case you will probably be sentenced to death immediately. And the second is that you are not Kira, in which case you will be free to go and carry on your normal life again, and I will never see you again," he explained calmly.

"What do you care?" huffed Light, still slightly pissed, but his curiosity growing now. The L he had known would never be telling him something this personal… It was dangerous to let anything personal, no matter how deep, get out—for the both of them. It could easily be used to the other's advantage. "I thought that you wanted me to be Kira…"

"Maybe at first," L came back at Light.

"Well what difference is it now?" he demanded, growing impatient of L's seemingly impractical ways of communication. "And what difference will it make what happens to me outside this case anyways?" L had never shown any sense that it would make any difference to him at all what befell Light in his personal life; he was only a pawn in this case, a player on the board, to L.

After a moment of silence, as if he was thinking, L answered. "I meant it, when I said that you were my first friend, Light."

"What…?" Light paused, deeply perplexed all the sudden at the dramatic change in conversation. "But… I thought you just said that to make me feel bad… So that if I were Kira, I would feel guilty and I wouldn't be able to kill you…" This wasn't making any sense. L wasn't making any sense.

"That was my original intention," L admitted, "But I realized when I said it that it was true… For so long, all I've wanted was a real life… All I've ever had was this fake name and this fake life. I could never have friends; I could never even have a home. It was too dangerous to keeping my identities secret. And while I enjoy it, all I've ever been able to do with life is solve one exhausting case after another. All I ever wanted was a little of the good life… And then you came. And you were the only one who could ever give me that…" He murmured the whole thing, in his usual soft and plain tone. It was just a simple confession—everything was straight forward for him. It was obvious that it was just… the truth to him.

Light didn't know what to say. He was completely thrown off guard now.

"I've kept myself from telling you all this—because we are still trying to solve a major case above all else—but I realized that I had to tell you. Because I know that any day could be the last for me," L concluded.

"Don't… Don't say that, L…"

L calmly replied, "You weren't supposed to use that name."

"We've already screwed up, L. Talking about this…" he paused. "Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to compromise everything we're working for?"

"It's like I said. My life is incredibly vulnerable, even with all of our precautions—my life is at incredible stakes every day."

"This isn't like you—to be so open. You're not supposed to have feelings…"

L rolled over and smiled at Light suddenly, "Everyone has feelings," he murmured, mimicking Light's tone, though in his quieter voice. "It's just a choice whether to show them or not," he added.

Light stared at him for what seemed like hours, his eyes looking into L's, just trying to figure him out. "What are you trying to say, L?" he asked finally, "That you don't hate me… That you don't think of me as a criminal anymore… That you actually… like me?"

"I suppose that's one way you could say it," L said simply. "Or you could say my life has been… happy since you came into it… That I was raised as an orphan, taken away from anyone who would care about me, and I've never had the good life, because I've never had anyone to share it with. But even though you seem to dislike me, just being around someone who I can relate to has made me feel… normal."

Light sighed. "L…" L stared at Light, his expression never changing, as he waited patiently, silently. "I don't dislike you." There was a pause as Light thought of how to go on, "At least I don't anymore…" His gorgeous amber eyes drifted down to stare at the edge of L's pillow. "I didn't want to admit it to myself… but lately, it feels like when I'm around you… I'm happier too. This case drives me through hell and back—but the fact that you're here always makes me feel like… I don't want to leave. And I didn't know what to do so I just tried to make myself hate you, to see you as my enemy… But the harder I tried, and the more I put on that pretense… The more my feelings were just pushed in the opposite direction." Slowly, he lifted his hand toward L's, and stroked his hand gingerly around L's skinny wrist, his fingers dancing lightly on L's soft skin. "I don't want this case to be over, either," he whispered, the look in his eyes melting with an out-of-character sincerity and melancholy.

Then the two just stared at each other, not sure what to do now… It was an odd sight. The two best detectives in the world, at a complete loss for words, a complete loss for what their next move was. There was no analyze to do here, nothing to examine. They had been lost in their feelings for the past few minutes, and it was like they were just realizing it.

L had never experienced such closure, and he felt an odd tingling inside… It started growing stronger. He was a young man and he had never been in a situation like this before… It finally caught up with him. L was so used to hiding himself away, to keeping anything personal behind a massive protective shield. He had never let himself do this before… But it was like he had said, Light was the first one to ever make him feel like hehad a reason to.

L didn't know what to do. And that was unsettling… But he liked it. And that feeling of Light's fingers on his skin… He had never felt anything like it. He didn't know what to make of it… It seemed good at first, but was it…? He stared down at their hands, trying to make sense of it. He felt a small pang of sadness as he realized the truth.

"You're just doing this to earn my trust… like everything else you've done."

"L…" Light murmured almost immediately, a smile on his face now, "You're thinking too hard. You can't evaluate this… You just have to go by what you're feeling, not what you're thinking." He knew it was weird and hard for them both to get used to—being like this with each other when they had just been mortal enemies, watching their backs, wary of each other—but with those words, Light had leaned his head in closer to L's. L's heartbeat sped up, and Light moved his hand to L's chest, resting right on top of his heart, as if he knew.

That L liked... The boy's hand on his chest sent something amazing shooting through his body and he just felt so alive. Having never known such an amazing feeling existed, L couldn't control his reactions. He closed the gap suddenly, even catching Light off guard, as he touched his lips softly to Light's. But Light quickly closed his eyes and returned L's kiss eagerly. L's lips felt so soft and perfect to Light, and his smooth black hair brushed along his face. L lifted his cuffed hand and placed it on Light's cheek, leaning into him as he opened Light's lips gently.

Allured by this, Light pushed back, forcing L's head down onto his pillow, and climbed on top of the skinny young man. He was suddenly very turned on by L's unexpected assertiveness. He leaned down so he was almost touching L's face, lifting an eyebrow. "Where did this come from?" he purred into L's ear.

"I never knew… a feeling like this could exist…" L murmured simply, his voice still calm as usual, but sounding somewhat out of breath. He was always so in control of every aspect of himself—he never said or did anything without careful consideration, never let any emotion show that he did not want to show. Even when Light punched him in the face, he remembered looking merely slightly disappointed. He was the master of himself. But now Light was making him lose himself… He was a completely different, unrecognizable person now. He reached his hand up to stroke Light's sides up and down, then wound them around his body to his lean chest.

"Mmm…" Light hummed through a smirk-like smile. Never in his wildest dreams had the thought even crossed his mind that he would be doing anything like this with his worst enemy. Under any circumstance. But as he looked down at L's hot face, the mysterious boy's eyes full of emotion like he'd never seen before, his lean agile body dancing around his own, he had never wanting anything more in his life. He could only see this now—in the heat of the moment, when all of his Kira plans were out of the picture—but L was an incredibly attractive man.

Light began to buck his hips against L's, and L went crazy, groaning in return. Light smiled at his reaction. He knew that the only reason L was reacting so heavily was because he had never experienced anything like this before, not even close. It amused him—the most famously intelligent man in the world, with absolutely no romantic experience, beaten by a high school honor student. No amount of reading, studying, or thinking would make a difference here.

As L whined again, Light grabbed a handful of his jet black hair, "That's right… moan for me… Let it out. Let your walls down…"

L was going completely on a feeling. There was nothing else he could do. But Light was surprised at how amazingly good he was, even with no idea what he was doing. He was so damn hot, his face twisted in pleasure, his low, soft voice producing moans from his throat. Light loved being on top of him, making him lose control. And L loved being beneath Light, seeing his sexy smile look down on him, clearly enjoying this.

"I love you, Light," L managed in a hoarse but calm voice, through moans.

"I love you, L," Light breathed simply.

"Then will you please… take me?" L asked quietly, "I can't stand this anymore…"

Light chuckled in a tempting voice. "Hmm… Already? We'll have to break you in, won't we?" He lifted the hand with the chain on it and twisted it around both of L's hands twice, and then wrapped it around the headboard and pinned it to the headboard with his palm. L was now completely helpless, and his head fell back with a long groan. Light leaned down and kissed his neck softly as L moved his head so Light could kiss him more, begging for Light to do more. Light found a tender spot and bit down, gently at first, but then he dug in, and L's body twisted, "Nggghh!" his voice was growing even louder, even more urgent.

"Please Light…" came his rasping but still quiet voice, trailing off in desperation. He could feel his pants getting tighter by the minute, the wetness spreading as Light teased him, his member throbbing… But there was nothing he could do. He tried to break his arms away, but Light shoved them back down. He writhed in pleasure.

Deciding to drive L over the edge, Light reached down with his other hand and just barely touched the huge bulge in his pants. L cried out, and then tried to bite his lip.

"Ssshhhh… It's okay…" Light whispered sexily in his ear. "I know what you're feeling… It's natural… Let it take you over…"

Light stroked his fingers across L's member very softly and slowly, and L whined loudly, his face twisted as if almost in pain. A small tear streamed down the side of his face. "Light… Light…" he whimpered. Light smiled an evil smile and then he unbuttoned and unzipped L's pants, pushing them down his legs. L bucked his hips involuntarily, but could do nothing at all except lay there and feel the incredible pressure build up inside him.

Light let his hands play around on top of L's white boxers, continually finding the top of L's aching member, and then he suddenly reached inside and grabbed L's member tightly.

"Light!" L cried, and his eyes opened wide as he squirmed hopelessly. In the rush of incredible pleasure that went through his body, he broke free of Light's restraints with one hand, and reached down to grab Light's member with it. "Aaauunnghhh!" Light groaned involuntarily. He was already hard, and now he was growing harder and harder by the second as L's skinny fingers reached inside his pants and held him and jerked him tightly.

Light started to jerk L's member in return, very slowly at first, playing around at the tip and then squeezing as he moved up and down. "Aauugghh… aauunnngghh…" L grunted. He was getting so close already, and as he jerked Light's member quickly, he felt it approaching.

"Faster!" L cried, his voice higher from sheer pleasure. He couldn't see anything anymore; everything was blurry. And all his other senses were numb except for the incredible tightening in his stomach… Light had no choice to reply, feeling the pressure inside growing. "L…!" he groaned. They were both jerking as fast as they could now, and both their mouths were open wide, though nothing could even come out anymore. L began to breathe even faster as he felt himself getting closer.

Light tried to speak, "L… I'm about to…" but he was interrupted. "L—L—… LIGHT!" L suddenly yelled as his body jerked and his cum shot all over Light's chest and stomach. Light exploded at this—the look on L's face as he fell over the edge, and the feel of his warm cum all over his body. "AAGGHH!" he screamed as he released all at once all over L.

Light, with one of L's hands still pinned to the head board, let his arm fall, exhausted. Neither of them could do much for a while but breathe. L unfastened the chain for a moment just long enough to take his shirt off, and then Light collapsed onto L, their damp chests touching as they rose and fell rapidly.

"I can't believe it…" L murmured quietly, breathlessly. Light kissed his chest and neck tenderly again and again, and L brought his arms up to wrap around Light's thin body.

"If that wasn't the good life, I don't know what is," L let a small grin grace his smooth lips.