jfsaf. this is so terrible and full of cliches, but. you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT.

insert: I DO WHAT I WHAT GIF.

seriously. when that news came out abotu Favreau's ideas of opening scene for IM2, i was like: "SOMEONE IS WRITING FIC. THEY MUST BE. AND IT WON'T BE ME BECAUSE I WILL DO NO JUSTICE"

and yet.

and YET.

HERE WE ARE.

WHY ME. WHY.

MADE YOUR BED
/pseudonymosity
In response to Favreau's initial ideas for IM2 opening scene. When he wakes up, he finds himself unpleasantly beside Pepper Potts.

When he wakes up, he finds himself unpleasantly beside Pepper Potts.

Not that it's not pleasant to be beside Pepper on a general basis (well, depends on her mood and whether he's willing to deal with a steaming Potts). It's just and only unpleasant because it's him and her and them. Together. In his bed.

He freaks out, naturally. Like, what's he going to do?

First. He scrambles quietly out of bed (recall he is still freaking out a great deal and quietly is not really a possibility when you're Tony Stark; on top of that - you just apparently woke up with Pepper Potts) and dashes into his bathroom.

Second. He turns on the shower, just for the noise (never mind California's water crisis) because he didn't really scramble as quietly as he wanted and he knows - fears, really - Pepper has woken up; this way, he has this barrier to keep her at bay. She knows - lives by - boundaries.

Clearly he doesn't live by boundaries. Never has, frankly, but he thought he knew some form, or had a semblance of an understanding, of how to respect Pott- Fuck. Not Potts. Ms. Potts. Ms. (Any other time is fine to be informal with your PA, Tony. Not right now. You have been informal enough. More than. Obviously.) And last night and this Morning After, show that he clearly doesn't understand boundaries at all. And he's scared, upset - because this Morning After has evidence that he doesn't respect her.

(He knows she doesn't, didn't, hadn't, wanted him in the way he wants her and really - he respects that. He respects her. Even if it seriously tests his restraint and patience. Both of which he really has very, very little of in the first place. He's used to instant gratification.)

And damn it, there are very few things he's sure of in his post-multiple-life-crises world right now. He thought his respect for her was, at the very least, one of the last Sure Things (Rhodey being another Sure Thing. Sort of. It's complicated.) Something of his character and understanding of himself, to hold on for its certainty and security - while he's changing and becoming ready to be the man he's trying to commit himself to be.

And he's not one with a history for commitment.

Which makes this thing with Pepper even worse.

He's panicking too much right now to really list his gameplan numerically - which is no gameplan, at all. So. What he does next is get JARVIS - volume on quiet, and truly, JARVIS can be quiet - and the cams on to check on the status of the hopefully sleeping beauty. (Not that he's any Prince Charming. Or for that matter, nor is she any Princess or Damsel. Potts would kill him for these thoughts. But she'll probably kill him anyway when she wakes up.)

Pepper's still asleep.

And Tony hurriedly averts his eyes.

Tony also has to quickly push aside a thought that just affirms how much he hates his damn libido, hates this. Because Shit - he momentarily regrets forgetting the definitely hot details (then again, they were drunk, so maybe it was just a mess of events, but he sustains it had to be hot because it's Pepper and damn it, he has a reputation) of the Midnight Before. Assuming it...this...things, occurred at midnight. But he's not going to think much of it. He's not.

He absolutely refuses to acknowledge his train of thought and shoves them into isolation and repression. This is mainly encouraged by the more pertinent, significant thought that: Damn it. God. Pepper, as a female, as a human being, deserves so much more than his selfish, sordid thoughts. It's one thing to be flirty with her and toss witty innuendos at her. It's another entirely to be this level of stupidity and selfishness. Be selfish elsewhere, Tony. Not this Morning. Not. This. Morning.

"Backtrack, what?"

"IwokeupwithPepperinbed."

"No."

"No?"

Rhodey's tone - that of finite and dismissive (willful ignoring) - makes Tony stare incredulously at him, as well as in horror. Because Rhodey clearly is deaf. He must have heard what he said. Either that, or has just called Tony a liar (why in hell would he lie about this?) He has JARVIS monitoring Pepper and he can easily prove, show Rhodey wrong. And while Tony loves proving people wrong and himself right - this is not that kind of situation.

"No. You didn't. It must have been another redhead. You're sick like that, Tony. Sick. So, no, you didn t wake up with her. And and we ll just call Pepper to confirm, right? Right."

And just as Rhodey reaches over for his own phone from his pocket, Tony lunges forward and reflexively makes a grab for said device. He then hurriedly and carelessly tosses it away somewhere behind them. They both turn to look, as the phone slides smoothly across the floor and slips into some crevice under a bookshelf, spinning for a few short seconds before stopping. Tony and Rhodey then look at each other - with this strange combo of surprise and shock.

Surprise is more mild than shock, really. Shock was this Morning. Surprise is... Tony has no relevant examples for Surprise, because he's too much in Shock. And seeing as how wide-eyed Rhodey is deliberately moving far away from him, Rhodey's starting to feel some effects of said Shock, too. Tony tries to grab for Rhodey's arm in attempts to stop Rhodey from retrieving his phone and/or keep Rhodey from going too far as some retreat from Tony.

"No," Tony says with a heavy breath, heavy conscience, heavy consciousness, "No. You're not going to call her because she's still in bed, asleep, and then she'll wake up. Or not. Maybe she won't. She didn't wake up when I left. And I thought Pepper was a light sleeper - she's always complained about it. Or ...Or. Fuck. Oh, fuck. I- Fuck.

His covenant to not at all think about the Midnight Before in the same vein of obscene selfishness witnessed earlier this Morning After, is broken because Tony is stupid. And he's male. And he's Tony. And he's just inexcusably stupid.

(It doesn't help at all that Pepper is inexcusably hot. Wrongly so. But if Pepper being hot is wrong, then really - really, he needs to check himself back into school. Because nothing about the whole entirety of her existence is wrong: physically, mentally, every bit of her, as-cliche-and-corny-as-that-may-be. Except the part of her that insists on turning off his music.)

He swallows hard, "This would be a bad time to say 'Damn, I'm good', right?"

"Yes," Rhodey hisses. And it's a rebuke all the same, especially in the violent way Rhodey snatches his arm away and moves away from him. Far. Away.

God, Tony - you must be a masochist because you're actually glad Rhodey's looking like he's about to machete your balls (actually, Rhodey could do much worse, given his military connections) - because that must mean Rhodey's pissed at you, and if he's pissed at you - then he cares about you (and Pepper, of course. In fact, he may like Pepper more than you.) And that must mean he and you are still friends.

Tony needs to hold on to something Sure and certain right now. Because this whole thing with Pepper is jerking a lot of things drastically to Unsure. Rhodey and he used to be Sure, before the whole Ironman thing. But now they are Sort of Sure, again. And he's replacing Pepper's Unsure with Rhodey's Sort of Sure.

But he's still messed up as hell. Because this warped logic doesn't equate to any sort of damage control for the situation. Pepper does damage control. Rhodey does damage control. Stane used to, but he's not much of a relevant aspect in his life these days (or ever again.) And the former two seem to be out of the running for fixing his problems at present.

(Well. One problem among many.)

...Maybe Happy?

"God, Tony! Slept with Pepper and don't remember a damn thing! You're not sick. You're- You're beyond sick."

(Considering the toxins in his system, yes. But putting that aside.)

Tony groans into his hands as he slumps back onto the couch, as Rhodey hits the certain - right - words with the exact emphasis to make him feel worse and better at the same time. Masochist.

"And you left her. In your bed. You are doubly beyond sick," Rhodey continues, actual spit along with his words, "What happens when she does wake up, you idiot? Huh? What then, you ass?"

"Maybe she won't," Tony says, perking up as if some inane hypothesis, "Maybe this is just... You know. One of those really vivid dream- OW. Did you just pinch me?"

Rhodey is incredulous: pinching is hardly what Tony needs to be distressed over.

"Pepper will do much worse if you don't get back there. I will do much worse. We both will. And JARVIS. And the bots."

It's a little unfair how much everyone likes Pepper.

it takes two to tango, really - so tony and rhodey shouldn' tbe placing the blame on him only.

BUT I DIDN'T KNWO WHERE TO INSERT THAT IN THE FIICC.

so let it be known, i find fault on both sides.