The Day That Everyone Slaps Ishida

Poor Ishida is just having a rough day. Friendship, romance, humor, angst, the whole thing.

Disclaimer – If I owned Bleach, I might slap Ishida myself sometimes. But I don't.

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Whap!

Ishida always enjoyed seeing Ichigo get slapped. It was a sunny day in Kurakara Town, there were no monsters around, and Rukia was smacking Ichigo on the back of the head. It was a perfect little moment.

Whap!

"Hey!" Ishida rubbed his head. When did Rukia start hitting him?

"You two are idiots. Can't either of you be decent gentlemen? Orihime's over there by herself. Go walk her home!" Rukia gave both young men her death glare.

Only Ichigo was stupid enough to talk back. "Why don't you walk her home?"

Whap! Whap! Again, they both got slapped. "I have to go see Urahara. He's got some new invention he wants to show off. And remember, tomorrow we're all going to meet there after school. My captain has some news."

With that, the little black-haired soul reaper headed off. Ishida looked around; none of their other classmates were nearby. Oh, joy, thought Ishida, at the prospect of going for a walk with Ichigo and Orihime.

The lanky substitute shinigami called out, "hey Orihime, wait up!" and took off toward her. She lit up at the sound of his voice. Ishida hated this. He didn't expect anyone to light up like that for him, but it hurt every time he saw Orihime look at Ichigo that way. Was he petty? He thought about it. Wait, of course he was petty.

The three of them chatted as they walked: Orihime friendly, Ichigo ornery, Ishida alternating between friendly and ornery depending on which one he was talking to. Orihime wanted to look at the new cell phones at the electronics shop, so they took the long route. None of them had anything more pressing to do with their afternoon, and it was a nice day, so that part wasn't so bad.

She always seemed so happy. She was such a remarkable girl. He knew that she had been through a lot in her life, even some things that were unimaginable to normal human beings, but she never bellyached about it. She always put other people first. He admired that about her. She was the only person who treated him like a friend. Well, there was Rukia, but Orihime was the only human person. OK, Chad too. But it was different with Orihime. Everything was different with her.

And she looked so sexy in that form-fitting top and short skirt. Sometimes when he was supposed to be studying, he'd find himself thinking about her eyes, or her hair, or the way her body moved when she walked….But she didn't even seem to realize that she was beautiful. Or really, it was that she didn't care. And if someone like that smiled at you, someone who only cares about what's inside, well, that meant so much more, because it meant that there was something inside of you that was worth smiling at.

Wow. He knew he liked her, but he'd never realized how far he'd fallen.

They eventually arrived at the electronics store. Orihime looked at the latest models of phones in the window, then asked Ichigo and Ishida if they could go inside and look around for a while. Ichigo said, "Sure, go on in. We'll wait out here."

She looked a little disappointed by that, but her smile quickly returned, and she waved goodbye to them as she hurried into the shop. As the door closed behind her, whap! Ichigo slapped the Quincy on the back of the head.

At first Ishida was stunned, then he turned cold and looked Ichigo in the eyes.

"Here?" Ishida asked. "This is the place you've chosen to die?"

"Idiot! When are you going to make a move on Orihime?"

"What? Look, you moron, are you blind? In case you haven't figured it out yet, she's in love with you!"

"You think I don't know that? I know she's great and all that, but she's not the right one for me."

"There's someone else", deduced Ishida. "You're in love with Rukia."

Ichigo looked away. "Shut up. It doesn't matter."

Ichigo collected his thoughts. "The thing is, Orihime's not the right girl for me, but I'm a healthy teenage boy, and if she points those things at me one more time, I swear I'm going to turn into Kon! I'm at my breaking point. I'll hurt her, and I'll ruin any chance…I'll hurt everyone. Do you want to see that happen?"

They both turned as Orihime emerged from the shop.

Ishida said, "That was quick. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Oh, no", she said. "Everything's still too pricey."

Ishida said, "Well, Ichigo, you've got to be going now, right?"

"Uh…" Boy, Ichigo was dim.

Orihime was suddenly concerned. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, it's just, I have to get going. I'll see you two tomorrow." Ichigo walked away. Orihime watched him silently until he turned the corner.

"Um, Orihime?"

"Yes?"

Now what? He hadn't thought this through at all. He'd never actually considered telling Orihime how he felt about her. This was Ichigo's fault. He rushed him, and now he was standing here with Orihime, and how should he even start something like this? He drew a complete blank. But he had to do this now. This was the moment. Come on! Say something!

He leaned in and kissed her, hard on the lips. He held it for a second, then felt her pull away.

"Uryu-kun! You can't just kiss a girl like that!" She paused, a serious look on her face. "First, you have to take me to dinner, and then stop by my house and we can listen to music and read manga. Then we'll go to a movie together, something scary, and maybe I'll let you kiss me afterwards, but just once. Then I need to meet your family, and we'll go steady, and we can go to the same college together."

She took his hand and together they walked down the street.

"Then I'll become a teacher, and you'll be a superhero or a famous tailor, and then you'll take me to the beach where there'll be a submarine, and we'll go to a really romantic underwater city where you can propose to me. Then we'll have a wedding and a lot of kids and visit our friends whenever we can."

"Okay", he said, and it sounded like a really good plan.