Okay…It's time for the final chapter. I can's describe how sad I am because I enjoyed writing every single sentence but everything comes to an end sooner or later. I appreciate your reviews and I'm soooo glad you liked this story. Don't hesitate but tell your opinion about this chapter

Special thanks to my Beta-reader. I would have never published it if it wasn't because of her.

I don't owe any of the characters.

Chapter 16

Abby was feeling lonely in her lab. For the first time in her life, the company of her lab's equipment wasn't enough to make her happy. She needed to be with her family, with Tony. But as she had seen so many times recently, her best friend didn't want to speak to her.

Abby took off her lab coat around noon and headed for the bullpen where she knew she could find McGee and Ziva. They weren't actually doing anything, only pretending.

"Ahhhhh!" The Goth heard Ziva yell and as she stepped out the elevator. She saw the Israeli hitting her keyboard.

"I've told you so many times, Ziva. You can't repair something by hitting it. Even Gibbs can't do that." McGee stated calmly. "What's wrong this time?"

"I've told you that there's a virus in your computer." Abby broke into the conversation. "Let me see what the problem is."

"The problem is that nothing works!" Ziva snapped. She stood up from her chair and Abby occupied it. "NCIS is going through a crisis. SecNav and our own director destroyed Tony's life. He tried to kill himself…and-" She made shooing motions at her computer. "Even our equipment is out of order!"

"Oh dear." Ducky's voice startled the Israeli. She hadn't noticed Ducky had joined them. "Everything will be alright." The ME smiled sympathetically.

"I've got ya!" Abby exclaimed and everybody stared at her. "You can't beat me, you stupid little virus!" She gave Ziva a reassuring smile, even though she wasn't exactly reassured herself. "Your computer is like new, Ziva."

"See." Ducky tapped the Israeli on the shoulder.

"Why don't we go visit Tony tonight?" Abby offered. "We could watch Magnum together."

"Gibbs wants us at his house for dinner anyway." Ziva stated as a matter of fact. Gibbs had asked her to bring the entire team to his house and she intended to do it. "It's high time we heard the story from where it started. Tony needs to talk about it or it will destroy him. Gibbs wants it to happen tonight."

"Yea. It's not like Tony avoids us on purpose. I can't say he's listening to Gibbs though." McGee smirked sadly. Abby and Ziva slapped him on the head at the same time.

"Today he realized how weak he really is. I'm quite sure he noticed his own need to share with us." Ziva hadn't told them about Tony and Jarvis, but it was pointless to hide it from them.

"What are you talking about?"

"Let us just say that Gibbs left something he has against Jarvis on his table and Tony found it this morning. He went to Jarvis' house to confront him, but things went out of control because of Jarvis' big mouth. Tony had fully lost control over himself and was about to suffocate SecNav when we stopped him. SecNav is okay, if we do not count the fact that he's either giving up on his job by the end of the day or the press and the President will be sent a very bad document."

McGee, Abby and Ducky were staring at the Israeli with wide eyes. "What information, exactly?" McGee pressed with curiosity.

"Well, Tony's case is not the first one that Jarvis has exceeded his authority with. A few years back there were some marine deaths because of him. And of course, the several people who knew about it have been threatened to keep their mouth shut. Plus, it looks like Jarvis likes to play with…how to say it…pretty young, illegally working girls at bars."

"Where do you know this from, my dear?" Ducky amused.

"You forget that I'm and ex-Mossad, Ducky. "I know people…people who own me their lives."

Xxx

Gibbs knew it was going to be a long way but he fully intended to be there for his agent. He had had enough time to think about all problems they might face but still, he'd be there for Tony, always.

"GIBBS." The ex-marine heard Abby's voice and his front door creaked.

"In the kitchen, Abs." He replied, salting the potatoes which he was preparing for dinner. The steak was already ready.

"You enjoy the cow-boy style steak, don't you?" Abby giggled when she joined the ex-marine in the kitchen. A second later Ducky, Jimmy, McGee and Ziva appeared, carrying both non-alcohol and alcohol beer.

"Where's our Anthony?" Ducky asked.

"Taking a shower. He insisted he has to look good if somebody comes by."

"That's sounds about right." The old ME grinned. "Don't allow him to hide behind that mask we've all seen so many times, Jethro. I'm sure he'll pretend to be fine but he won't be anytime soon."

"Don't worry Duck. We'll be having plenty of time for chats while building my boat."

"Tony will build a boat?" Ziva laughed, unable to believe that her partner could build even a toy from wood.

"Oh, he will." Gibbs smirked, imagining his agent's face when at the moment he learns this fact. "C'mon, the potatoes will be ready in no time."

Xxx

The dinner at Gibbs' place was great. Reminding him of the happier times the team had partied together. The last time they had gone out and had had wonderful time had been the night before the whole nightmare began.

He was grateful to hear Abby laugh, Ziva teasing and even McGee enthuse about his geek stuff. But he also noticed that his senior agent had remained silent most of the time and had passed the opportunity to make fun of the two junior agents. It seemed that Ducky had also noticed it. He searched for Gibbs' eyes and exchanged look with him, meaning "Are you sure he's good?" But the ex-marine pretended he hadn't understood the question because he didn't know the answer. During the last ten years he had learned to read through Tony's mask and had always known what had been going on in his agent's mind. Now he was sure that the only reason he had been able to do it, was because Tony had allowed him to. This evening, the SFA preferred to keep his emotions to himself.

"Come on McGee! We want to know about your geeky girlfriend." This time Abby teased instead of Ziva.

"What? Girls, I've already told you she's just a friend." McGee shrugged. "A pretty friend I have to admit."

Listening to the conversation, Tony felt anger overwhelming him. It wasn't because McGee had met a girl, there was nothing wrong with it, but because he wished he could tell Julie just one more time how beautiful she was. He pressed his eyes shut praying that nobody was watching him and clenched his fists under the table in the living room.

Tony's attempt to not attract attention went to hell when he felt Gibbs' hand on his clenched fist. The ex-marine had sat on Tony's right side in case his agent needed support. His assumption had proven to be right. Fortunately, the senior agent took control over his emotions.

It took Abby four minutes to see Tony's face, and stop babbling about McGee and how he had to find a girl and have geeky children. With Abby having shut up, McGee and Ziva noticed the sudden change in their friend and looked at him worriedly. Their stares were what Ducky had feared from. What Tony needed least, was to be a center of attention.

"Hey, go to your room if you need a moment in privacy." Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear. He wanted to yell at Abby, Ziva and McGee to stop staring at the other agent but decided to deal with it later.

"No." Tony exclaimed with cold voice. Opening his eyes, he whipped the tears away. "If I don't tell it now, I probably never will…Just give me a second."

Gibbs hand was firmly placed on Tony's knee. It was the support the agent needed and he was silently grateful for it.

Abby wanted to say something, but Tony cut her off.

"Abby please, just listen. I don't know if I'll be able to tell the story once again and you'll have enough time to hate me anyway so please let me talk…Okay, you all know where it started from. You were with me when Vance ordered me to go undercover. But what you don't know is that I met with him an hour after he briefed us. I told him to find somebody else for the operation. But then he showed me a filled in document for disbanding the team. All he had to do was to sign it, so I accepted going undercover. They said that if I fail, Team Gibbs would be disbanded. He promised me it would be for three to four weeks. They gave me access to unlimited amount of money which I had to invest on drugs. I did so and in not more than a week, I was hired by Petrov. But our communication wasn't direct. My boss was a man called James. He is one of the people FBI arrested at the airport. My mission was to collect evidence against the group and meet with Petrov.

I had to have my back covered by an FBI agent…Julie. Gradually she became everything I had. Vance wanted me to do everything I had to do in order to meet Petrov. And I did it – I killed a couple, knowing that they were innocent. But if I hadn't pulled the trigger, my cover would have been blown. The same night, I met Julie to brief her. She sensed that something wasn't right with me, so I told her what I'd done. We talked a lot before she headed for home. Being alone once again, I escaped from my misery drinking until I passed out. That's how it started. The next week a young marine yelled at my boss that he didn't want drugs anymore. He threatened to call the police, and a part of me hoped he would do it. That way everything could end. But before I realized what was going on bullets were flying around and I had to protect my boss. I fired and hit the marine straight in the heart. I started drinking a lot after that, and there were times when I was able to forget who I was and what I had done.

Me and Julie had been meeting almost every night and she knew everything about me – the people I had killed, who I had sold drugs to, which bar I was drinking at. She never said anything, even when I told her I had given methamphetamine's to teenagers. I slowly fell in love with her. Once I was so drunk that I passed out in her place… The next day she made me talk to Vance and ask him to pull me out. I loved her so much, that I met the damn son of a bitch...But he only threatened me for a second time. He showed me the disbanding papers and said that I was going to jail if the operation fell. Somehow he knew about every step I had made, about every victim of mine. I would never see Julie again, he told me. I continued living in a lie– lying to you, lying to Petrov's group, lying to myself that everything was under control. The only person who knew the truth was Julie. She asked me to talk to you boss, to ask you for help. The day I decided to come here and meet you, I was told that Petrov would be in town in a few days and he wanted to see me. He had been preparing the deal of his life with dealers in Russia and Poland. This was my opportunity to collect enough evidence off him to be arrested and given a life sentence. I knew the end was near. Two nights later Julie told me she was pregnant. I realized that it was smarter to give up on chasing Petrov, for her and our baby. I was ready to lose my job and maybe move out of the States. Petrov has people everywhere and our lives could have been in danger. We had to do it carefully..." He finally paused to take a shaky breath. "So I set up a meeting with Vance the following night. But just before it, I had been clubbing with my partner, Roy, and we had drank a lot. He expected me to spend the night with him as usual on Friday and it would have been too out of the normal not join him. I didn't remember how much I drank, but I fell out with Vance, Roy overheard us. It was a stupid mistake which totally screwed up my life. The damn alcohol and I killed Julie. The next morning I went straight to a trap. Petrov was at the garage you found me in and he knew I was a cop. He had Julie. Some of the men who worked for Petrov tied me up and beat me for information. They couldn't break me. They desperately needed to know how much I had told Vance." Tony's breaths were going form shaky to few in between. "They tortured Julie right in front of my eyes...they beat her, burned her, kicked her in the stomach, drugged her...and it did break me, but I kept the damn information to myself, because that's what she wanted. This was the only way Vance and Jarvis could be happy and arrest Petrov. The torture went on for awhile. I have no idea how many days went by. When I was conscious, I prayed to die, but fought because of Julie. I would tell myself not to be selfish, that she needed me...but I was the reason she was there. It was all my fault…I remember her telling me that she loved me. I didn't answer, I couldn't…I…I could barely get a breath." It hurt to look into his eyes, could see the memories flashing across them. But he amazingly pressed on. None of the team dared to speak. " She passed out together with our child, and I..I never, never told her how much I loved her. There was nothing to stay alive for. I was more then broken inside, I was dead inside. The next time they beat me, I closed my eyes and let the darkness come. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore. Nothing mattered."

Xxx

When Tony told the last part he stood up from the sofa and headed for the bathroom. The team didn't move. Their eyes were fixed at the place where Tony had been sitting. What they were feeling, couldn't be explained in action and words. There was no hatred for Tony, but unfortunately, he didn't know that.

Gibbs stood up and left the room. He could hear the sink going full blast. He waited outside for a while but when his agent didn't show up and the water kept falling down, he entered. Tony was sitting on the frosty floor and his head was touching the wall. Gibbs sat in front of Tony in a way he could have eye contact with him.

"You've never told me Vance had been blackmailing you." Gibbs stated, feeling a little hurt. If only Tony had trusted him enough to tell him, everything could have been different.

"It's not something you tell." Tony mumbled.

"Don't." The ex-marine barked and his gruff voice startled the younger agent.

"What?"

"Don't hide behind that mask. Not this time, Dinozzo."

"My whole life's a theater, boss. My mask is what I need to wear in order to survive."

"Then why did you just opened up in front of the team? Why did you let them see the real you?" Gibbs was feeling that every time his agent was making a step toward his recovery, he was also going two steps back. Why couldn't Tony just allow them to help him?

"I don't know, Gibbs." Tony's attempt to lie to his boss, but it came out as sounding ridiculous. "A moment of weakness, maybe. But now I'm sure they hate me. I even hate me."

"Bullshit!" Gibbs yelled, scaring Tony, Gibbs had never done that in front of him. "This morning when your inability to control your anger, almost made you kill Jarvis...But you realize that the feelings you keep locked somewhere inside will destroy you, right? You didn't say it, but you needed to reveal them, right? And after dinner, when a simple conversation pissed you off, the real you showed up and told us the story, right? Tony, you have to trust me, I've been close to where you are. I know what it's like to hold so much inside."

"It's no right that simple things like conversations make my blood boil." Tony mumbled but Gibbs heard the words.

"Well, Tony, if you don't want it to happen ever again stop living as Anthony Dinozzo – drug dealer. Be yourself. Not the class clown who masks his feelings with silly remarks, not a man looking for revenge, but you."

"I don't even know who I am anymore, and it's not like it doesn't sound good…theoretically. But what if the team doesn't like the man they see? I have no idea who I am and what I look like."

"Doesn't matter what you've done, all that matters is what you'll do from now on. Now let's join the others because in about eight minutes Jarvis will announce that he's quitting from his post." Gibbs gave a satisfactory smile, "I don't want to miss it."

Xxx

Gibbs walked in his living room where McGee, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and Ziva were. Tony was staying at the door, not sure if it was a good idea to follow his boss.

"Gibbs, where's…" Ziva stopped in the middle of her sentence when her partner appeared behind her boss. For his own surprise, Tony had the courage to join his family.

"Where do you expect him to be, Ziva?" The ex-marine barked but Ziva's face made him smile. He looked at his watch, there were two minutes left until the News started. For his team's surprise Gibbs went to his old TV and turned it on.

"Since when you're such a big fan of TV, Jethro?" Ducky asked with curiosity. Meanwhile Tony sat in the only free armchair, avoiding the couch on purpose. Gibbs sat next to Ducky and made them a sign to be silent.

"Exclusive news from the last hour." A middle-aged woman from the local news announced. "Secretary of the Navy Clayton Jarvis called a press conference this evening. For everybody's surprise he declared that he's resigning from his position. When asked about the reason he answered nothing more than he and his wife are moving to a quieter place and are planning on starting a farm. But according to unconfirmed records and some speculation, his strange decision has something to do with Leroy Vance who was recently fired from his position of a director of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. For now we don't know who will be the new SecNav and who will take over NCIS."

"Farming?" Abby giggled. "Can you imagine Jarvis sharing his lunch with a cow?'

"I don't think he knows how to share anything." Tony murmured, sitting in a distance from his friends.

"Tony…" Abby's eyes met with his. "…you'll come back, won't you? I mean you're…you're not leaving us, right?'

Tony didn't answer immediately but was thinking about Abby's words. "Do you really want me back? Will you all be able to work with me after everything I did?"

"Yes!"

"Yea."

"Sure."

"Of course."

Ziva, Palmer, McGee and Ducky exclaimed at a time. Gibbs silently listened to the conversation, glad that Tony was willing to speak with them openly.

"We know you well enough, Tony, to know what a good man you are." This time Ziva spoke. "I have also killed people who were innocent. Tony, I will not lie to you – sometimes I see their faces, hear their voices. But you should keep in mind that Petrov will never ever see sunlight because of you. He won't kill anybody from now on. His drugs won't ruin families, teenagers won't be hooked up because he's greedy. Innocent people won't be murdered with his guns. A handful of people died, a lot more will be saved. This though keeps me from going crazy. I hope it will help you, too."

"You belong to us, Tony. It's not been the same since you went undercover." McGee smiled in support.

"It's your call Dinozzo." Gibbs said but he already knew the answer.

"I'm…I'm not leaving you, Abs."

"That's our boy!" Ducky smiled. "Jethro, do you have any idea who the new SecNav and director will be?"

"I have a hunch, Duck. Just wait and you'll see by yourself." The ex-marine smirked.

Epilogue

One month later

"They're coming…they're coming." Abby was jumping around the NCIS bullpen. It was Monday morning and all agents had already arrived. Ziva, McGee, Ducky and Palmer were there as well, feeling just as excited as the ecstatic Goth. A lot had happened during the last thirty days but the most important was, that Tony had had the courage to face his demons. He wasn't the same Tony he had been before the undercover operation and he would never be, but they didn't expect him to be. He still had a ways to go to feeling good, but the team understood and accepted it.

The first good news came three weeks after the night Tony opened up in front of his family. He wasn't sure if he could do it on his own, but he wanted to go home. The day after, he packed his bag and moved from Gibbs house back to his apartment. The first two nights were hell – full of memories and feelings. But Tony had realized he had to move on – because of Julie and their unborn child, because they would want it. He finally slept peacefully on the third night. The next day he met Gibbs and asked him to go back to work. The ex-marine said yes, even though Tony himself wasn't sure if he was up to it.

There he was on Monday morning – in the elevator with Gibbs. They knew they were late but nobody was actually working that day because they would finally meet the new director of NCIS. Both agents exchanged looks just before the elevator dinged and its doors slid open.

"Tonyyyy!" Abby's voice exploded through the bullpen. She wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I…can't breath…Abs." Tony whispered and the Goth released her grip, kissing him on the cheek.

That moment the team noticed Gibbs' absence. A moment later they heard him cough in a way showing that he needed everybody attention. They looked up and saw him up the stairs, grinning.

"As you know, NCIS officially has a new director." The ex-marine announced loudly. "I am sure you all know him and many of you has worked with him."

A man in his late forties stepped behind Gibbs. He was dressed in a suit and a black long coat. His hair was white and rare.

"Everybody, meet Director Tobias Fornell."

Tony's eyes widened. McGee was stunned. Ziva was shocked. Palmer was surprised. Ducky was curious.

"Jethro?" The old ME looked at the ex-marine puzzled when he joined them.

"He had some issues with the Director of FBI. He didn't like that Fornell disobeyed his direct order and arranged for Tony to meet with Petrov. A little birdie told me he was about to leave FBI and when I was asked about my opinion of the new director, Fornell's name popped up in my mind…Don't worry, I trust him." Gibbs explained just before his cell rang. After a short talk he headed toward his desk, opened the drawer and took out two sets of guns and badges – his and Tony's. He threw his agent's badge to Tony and put his gun on his desk.

"Gear up! We have a dead marine." Gibbs barked and hit the elevator button.