Fridays child is loving,

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I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in God even when He is silent. I believe in love even when I am alone. ~ Anonymous

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"…put out my hand, and touched the face of God" Han finished. Luke looked at him, surprised at the reverent tone, but glanced away least the proud smuggler became defensive and ruined to moment.

Deciding instead to drink deeply to the moment he did…and nearly choked on the… whatever it was that Han gave him to celebrate their successful rescue/escape from Jabba. The smuggler laughed and teased him and the moment past. That, well night wasn't a word used in space, but when Luke went to bed he thought about Han and the longing in his voice. The awe for something both familiar and untouchable. And he remembered Tatooine.

Really Luke was more like his mother than his father. But like his father he dreamed. He dreamt of truth and true things though he could not always understand what his dreams meant. There were those who were dubious about dream interpretation but no one disbelieved it. Not completely. Not on Tatooine.

Elders were respected on Tatooine. More than the Hutts or the Empire they were listened to and obeyed. Scattered farmers had no time to meet or elect leaders among themselves. Usually people got their news when they went into town to get supplies. But once every five years they all met. They shared who had a child, who got married, who died. Condolences were given, couples blessed by the Elders, and children presented to them. When Luke was three he was formally presented to the community. The Eldest took him and said, "grandson of the Suns. Conceived in darkness and secrecy. Born at nightfall. Born to twilight. Named for light."

A hush settled over the watchers, then The Oldest nodded and spoke, "truth is your shadow. Hard to see when the suns are too bright or the dark seems all-consuming. But look to your shadow and you will see truth. Twilight born, seek the dawn."

Most people didn't question the elders about the blessing of the children and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were the same in that regard. They merely remembered what was said and so when Luke's dreams came they were not completely caught unawares. Luke's dreams were sometimes clear truth, sometimes muddled, true things. He would dream of a fight and there would be a Tuscan attack. He would hear winds in his sleep and a sandstorm would some. He dreamt sometimes of the past. (They learned that after he artlessly revealed what he knew of a past fight between a husband and wife.) He dreamed of space battles. His uncle said it was the past and that was true. He felt it was the future and knew that was also true.

Dreams and visions that came to him belonged to the night and they were hazy. The days were for his uncle's sure plans for tomorrow and vague promises of the future that would let him leave someday. When he was around Ben before he left Tatooine he felt like he was under the heat of both suns at midday. Ben's vision of the future was clear. He spoke of the true past. He was blindingly true. Luke tried to find his footing, but the suns ruled on Tatooine while the sands shifted. Everyone knew that.

Revelations about his father and the past swirled through his head as it hit the pillow. Luke dreamt of the fight again that night. He knew his father was fighting. That was true. He knew that Vader was fighting. That was also true.

Except Vader was his father. That was truth.

Angry at the road his thoughts seemed intent on taking, Luke rolled over and closed his eyes as if to block them out. But he didn't want to sleep either, didn't want to dream. Because his dreams showed him what was true, but that was not the same as the truth.

Murmurs of the Eldest crept in as he lay in his bunk, "Truth is your shadow. Hard to see when the suns are too bright or the dark seems all-consuming."

Deceptive truth tellers stood on either side of him, reaching out their hands and saying, "listen to me." Ben was light and what he said was true. Vader was dark and he spoke the truth. Light was true, dark was truth. Where was his shadow? Where was his truth?

R-2 rolled by the door and for a wild moment Luke considered calling him in to ask for advice. The need to confide in someone, anyone, was nearly overpowering. He just didn't want to feel alone. Wanted to give someone his heart and not have it broken. To give someone his trust and not have it betrayed. He could not put his trust in those who spoke true or those who spoke truth. He could not ask Leia or Han or Chewie or anyone in The Alliance for help. He knew that they would tell him to believe Ben and reject Vader. And he was afraid they would reject him, Vader's son, sith spawn. He was alone, seeking his shadow.

Eldest said, Seek the dawn.

At the end of the day the Eldest spoke in riddles and was the most trustworthy of all. The truthful deceivers spoke clearly and thus hid what they meant. But he did not want to seek anything.

Muốn. Wish. Dori. Želja. Jixtiequ. He looked for a way off the farm: stormtroppers came. He looked for a purpose: Ben gave him a lightsaber. He looked for his father: Vader found him. He stood watching the suns set how many times? Always looking for more. Always wanting more. Then he got it. All the purposes and truths he could never want.

Darth Vader. Old Ben. Skywalker. Kenobi. Anakin. Obi-Wan. Sith. Jedi. Father. Mentor. Truth-speaker. True-speaker.

Rolling the other way in a vain attempt to get comfortable, he sighed at the wall. He wished he could hate one of them. Then he could choose the other with no guilt. The lines had been drawn. Good. Evil. Dark. Light. Jedi. Sith. Empire. Alliance. It was Us and Them. It you're not Us then you're Them. For so long he was Us with his friends and (he assumed) his family (stupid, stupid). He was living his dream, doing what was right, was the hero. But every ship he shot down could be the man who sired him. Luke, unknowingly, had devoted his life to tearing down his father's life work. But he could not support the Empire. So the question remained.

Echoing in his head, bouncing off the walls. Are you them or us? Us or them? He could not be THEM. He could not be US. He was alone.

Accepting that he was not going to sleep to night Luke flopped on his back, looking at the ceiling, and watched the shadows change. Where was his truth? When he looked to himself all he found was love. Love for the Alliance, for his aunt and uncle, for Ben, for his friends, for his father. But he had to betray someone he loved, didn't he? He had done what the Oldest said; he had searched his heart for truth. Away from Ben's light and Vader's darkness he had looked to himself, his shadow. But what sort of truth was love?

Minutes crept by, his eyes grew heavy, and he slowly sunk into sleep. Then Luke dreamed. He could not remember his dream when he woke, not clearly. But he knew there was love, there was truth, and there was a woman's voice calling his father's name. And as the last traces vanished into the reality of morning she professed, "there is good in him. There is still…"