I always wanted to write Bella this way; ya know, quirky, carefree, and happy. But with Bella's depressing, awkward moods, I had to improvise a bit. If Edward never came back for Bella, I always imagined her being older and wiser, but still the same, kind-hearted, great Bella, but still have that, oh-I-can-totally-curl-up-with-a-book-with-reading-glasses-and-still-be-sexy-while-being-a-minx-in-the-bed-with-Jasper. Ya know? LMAO. Maybe not. I'm starting to sound like Peter in Geek Magnet, ya know?

Haha, now to the story.

Jasper

"So what are you going to do, man? Run away? Because that doesn't seem like you." Emmett crowed loudly as he followed behind me. My throat was still burning from the bloodlust. Bella's wide brown, innocent eyes wouldn't stop burning into my head and Edward's furious gaze wouldn't stop tugging at my insides, "It isn't your fault! I don't even get why you guys are freaking so hard about this. Bella'll be fine. A few stitches and scars, but that's it!"

I skidded to a stop and whirled around to face him, "Emmett, shut the fuck up!" I snarled at him and he paused, but finally shut his mouth as I leaned against a sturdy tree, my eyes burning and my throat setting ablaze with it.

He hesitated, I could feel it from him and stuffed his hands in his pockets with a heavy sigh, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not even a little bit." I replied hastily and curtly.

I could detect the frown in his voice, "Why not?"

I pressed my hands in the tree so I wouldn't crush him, "You don't understand."

He stepped closer, shuffling slightly on his feet, "Yeah, I do. Everyone falls off the wagon once in awhile."

I growled in frustration, "I didn't 'fall off the wagon', Em. I attacked someone's mate. My brother's mate."

He was getting annoyed with me, "I still don't see the problem."

"Of course you don't." I sighed and slid down the tree, removing my hands from the sides. There was a pause, "I'm gonna have to leave, you know?"

Emmett shot his head to me, "What? Why? Bella's fine."

"It doesn't matter. I'll have to leave anyway. I'm not supposed to be in Forks and Edward will just try and pick a fight with me."

He snorted, "I think we know who'd win. Don't sweat it." He plopped his giant ass down next to me and sighed again, glancing up at the stars, "You know, whenever I always make a mistake—"

"I know. You bang Rosalie. I really don't want to learn a valuable lesson from you." I joked weakly and he punched my shoulder. It ached for a second.

"Back to the point," he rolled his eyes at me, "Whenever I make a mistake, I always tell myself that mistakes makes me who I am." He glanced at me, "And I like who I am."

I rolled my eyes this time, "That's easy for you to say."

"No," he was persistent, "Seriously, Jasper."

"So you're saying I'm a monster?"

He crooked a brow, "Do you think you're a monster?"

"Shouldn't we all?"

"You know what I mean."

"And you should know the answer to that."

...

…

Packing wasn't easy, but neither was anything else. I avoided the sympathetic looks from Carlisle and Esme and the glares from Rosalie. Alice didn't say anything or made me feel in adequate. Edward was nowhere to be seen in the house and I had a feeling he was with Bella.

But nothing was the same in the house.

Everything was too quiet. Not even Emmett's boisterous laugh filled the air.

Alice stepped into her room and I was shocked. This was the first time in three days she had come in. She stared at my packed clothes and nodded curtly, "Good. You're already packing." It stung for a moment, before I realized I had no idea what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?" I zipped up the bag and frowned at my wife.

"Edward left Bella." My eyes popped wide. I never thought I would ever hear those words. Edward loved Bella dearly, I knew that and I knew it was good practice for him to be around her. Edward must've been a wreck. I didn't even want to think about Bella.

Then my frown deepened, "Why would he leave her?"

Alice's eyes darkened, "You know why."

And I did. He had left her because of me. Because I had attacked her. Because I didn't have enough control. Because I was the monster in the family. It was my fault. Alice stared at me with those eyes then grabbed a deluxe bag of her own.

"You're leaving, too?" I asked. I didn't think Bella would be able to survive without her best friend. They had been attached to the hip. I wanted to stay, I really did, at least for Bella, but I knew I had to stay away from her. No one would be able to stop me if we met alone.

Alice sighed, "Edward wants us all to leave."

My eyebrows rose, "What? He can't make us all leave."

Her head shot to me, her eyes blazing, "We wouldn't have to at all if it wasn't for you."

My dead heart actually thumped with pain. I couldn't believe she had said that. What had happened to the fun, loving, hop-off-the-stool-and-walk-over-to-a-killer-with-a-grin-and-a-skip-in-her-step woman? I didn't know her now. I didn't know anything anymore. I was loosing my grip on everything; my wife, my family, my bloodlust.

I slammed closed my suitcase, causing her to jump and glared at her, "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" I hadn't heard my voice like that in awhile. At least, since I met Alice. She seemed to keep the demons at bay, but they had started to leak out the more she stayed away.

She stared at me for awhile before crossing her arms over her chest, "Don't act so innocent."

Before I knew it, a hole was next to her head and my fist was covered in the white paint and debris from the wall. Alice didn't even flinch, obviously she saw I was going to loose my composure.

"No, you don't, Alice. If you're such the psychic, why the fuck didn't you see it?" I hissed venomously.

Her eyes narrowed, "Last minute decision," I laughed bitterly, "What? Are you calling me a liar?"

"I would call you useless. It seems every time we need you, you're always a dollar short. You never tell the extent of your visions, nor do you share what they mean. I don't get you anymore, Alice." I'm sure my face showed the disgust I was feeling.

Her tiny hands balled into fists, "Shut up! Don't act all high and mighty on me now, Jasper, after you just attacked the only girl in the world I could actually call a sister! Who the hell are you to start spouting out crap and calling out me! We've all heard the tales, Jasper. I think it's time for you to get off your damn high horse before you fall and break something!"

Everyone in the house was silent. Alice and I were in each other faces, breathing heavily. I had never wanted to slap a woman in my life, but she was seriously pushing it. No one in the house had ever heard us argue, much less even bicker, and when we did, it was filled with happiness, smiles, and playful banter.

I tried to calm myself before I lunged. My brain was screaming at me to do while I was shocked I would even think of anything like that. Alice didn't deserve that, or maybe she did, but I wasn't going to do it.

"I should go."

"Yeah, you should."

We didn't move from our positions. No one in the house was moving and listened intently as I grabbed my things and started to the door. Alice said one more thing before I could turn the door handle.

"I'll send the papers in the mail."

I didn't say anything.

And then I left.

And I was no longer a Cullen.

I threw the crest behind me before loading into the spare expensive car.

I took off.

…

…

"Hey!" A smack upside my head and a newspaper was flopped into my lap, "Did you hear about this?" She jabbed a finger onto the wet paper.

I turned to glare at Maggie. I had been staying with her for a few days. She was a feisty little thing, reminded me a lot of Alice. When I had gotten to New Hampshire, Maggie had met me right at the Stateline and demanded me what the fuck the problem was. She had gotten the divorce papers in the mail and hugged me tightly when she figured out the news.

Her fiery dark crimson curls bounced around her shoulders and she placed her hands on her tiny waist, crooking a dark red brow, "Well?"

"Okay, firstly," I raised a finger, still rubbing the back of my head, "Ow! Second," I raised another, "What. The. Fuck? And third, well, what?"

She rolled her golden eyes and pointed a finger back at the paper, "Killings in Seattle? Really? A little too cliché, don't you think?"

I arched my brows, "So?"

She widened her eyes like I was five years old, "It's Seattle! No one dies there!"

I scoffed and threw the damp paper onto the coffee table, "People die everyday."

She frowned as I stood, her eyes genuinely worried, "Jasper—"

I placed my hands on her shoulders and stared the petite woman right in her eyes, "Maggie. It's gonna be fine. Besides, that's not our territory. The Cullen's will handle it."

She crossed her arms over her chest and fixed a glare on me, "But what if they don't? What if something happens? What if—"

"Maggie!" I shouted over her and she paused, "Everything is fine. We're fine. Everyone's fine. God, you're paranoid." She slapped me in the head and I forgot all about the fiasco.

...

...

Two years passed and you realize what's happening. The life, your life, is draining right before your eyes, your heart thumping to some beat that never stopped, your breath, gasping for liberation you couldn't give. The desire to die rushes through your body, shaking and rattling the steel bones.

And you can't stop it.

Tick. Tock.

…

…

"Going to Nevada is possibly the best decision you have made in your life." Peter said into the phone. He had been calling often, something he hadn't been doing for at least ten years, but he was doing it and I thirsted for the contact. My brother was the only thing I seemed to have in the world at the moment, I ignored the rest of the call, whether they were from a salesperson or Esme.

"If you say so, Peter." I sighed as I grabbed my red bag from the spinning machine. But I smiled. And I hadn't smiled in awhile, "Remind me why I'm here?"

"What do you think?" He replied easily.

He wasn't going to give anything away so I let it go, "When are you leaving the Volturi?" After the wars, Peter and his mate, Charlotte, had escaped to the North, but the Volturi had snuffed them out, loving their brilliant fighting skills. Charlotte and him are now assigned to the ward, but free to leave whenever, as long as they finish their missions. Peter didn't seem to mind; it kept him entertained and a great time to stay on the good side of Aro. I couldn't do it.

I could almost hear him shrug, "It's so and so. I mean, it's great to get the dicks out of the world, but it still kinda affects Char. You know how she is." Yeah, I did. Char was a sensitive being, always hated killing and couldn't stand the Volturi, but she did what she had to do and I admired that.

"Now, I already got your loft up so stay as long as you like and Char and I will come visit in a few months. Just…don't eat anyone." He chuckled wryly.

I was still trying to stick to my diet. I hadn't killed anyone over the last two years I had left the Cullen house. Everything seemed to be looking up for me since I left that place, but I knew I had unfinished business and something was going to draw me back to them.

"Yeah, yeah." I hung up and tucked in phone in my pocket. I walked out of the airport, checked for any lookers, then took off in the direction of the loft. It was a cozy little number and had only one master bedroom with a working kitchen and restroom. The floors were mahogany wooden and sleek. The walls were a warm chocolate and dotted with numerous, expensive paintings.

I unpacked my things and threw them in the dressers. My phone beeped in my pocket and I pulled it out to examine the screen.

Welcome home

From: Alice

I sighed.

Welcome home, indeed.

…

…

The streets outside were dotted with many characters and I 'people watched'. I observed as a group of blondes passed, all giggling over Tom Higgins, which I guessed went to their school, a mother passed with a child holding onto her hand, the mother's eyes were desperate and her clothes were ratty and dirty. I threw down a couple hundreds and she quickly snatched them before glancing in my direction with a soft smile and timid eyes. I disappeared from sight. I wasn't as cruel as I thought I was. Another was a preteen, doing homework on the bench, her shoes were pristine and shiny and her clothes were definitely made from the finest. She blabbered on her phone while throwing around gestures with sparkly nails.

Humans were definitely interesting.

But food nonetheless.

I started to wander outside my loft then walked down the street until I found a nice coffee shop. It wasn't Starbucks or anything else international. It was just a snug little room with people blotched around and the tang of strong caffeine in the air. I walked directly to the counter to see a brunette turned away and pouring milk into a dispenser.

Her hair was wavy and split down the middle. The chestnut waves made me tense. Her subtle, yet noticeable curves were exposed with the white, fitting logo t-shirt and the dark shorts. She had nice ivory legs. Then I noticed another thing. She was…small. Not as short asAlice, but she couldn't be more than 5'3.

Then she turned and my dead heart squeezed.

Her wide brown eyes.

Brown eyes.

Brown.

And not just any brown; that kind of brown that made you think of home, simpler times, when things weren't so difficult and you had a family. They were the kind of brown that made you happy to be in this place now and made you all warm. The brown didn't pretend or hide.

It was just…there.

And it was there for you.

Bella fucking Swan.

Of course.

She just had to be that brown.

She didn't even seem surprise, no shock value whatsoever, "Hey, Jasper," she greeted casually and placed her tiny hands on the counter with a bright smile, "what can I get you?"

Now, I know some of you are pissed that I deleted Now or Never, but it's whatever, I might bring it back up like all the other stories I created then shut down spontaneously. But anyways, this is the new story and if I delete it forgive me, but I probably won't. I have a lot of ideas for this.

Until next time, my lovelies…