A Relaxing Evening
Summary: Thinking Celestia would be exhausted from a day of royal duties, Discord decides to make a 'relaxing' surprise for her. Warning: may contain unexpecting humor.
~DC***DC***DC~
"Okay, let's see here…" Discord said to himself a he looked over his setup. "Rose petals on the bed…scented candles lit…soft exotic music playing…ointments and lotions on the side…Yup, that's everything."
Even a demon of chaos has to make sure everything goes according to plan. How else did everything work out for him in the labyrinth?
It's been about a week since Twilight and her friends used the Elements of Harmony to drain him of all of his powers instead of turning back into stone. He still has his immortality and can still fly, but that was pretty much it. After much consideration, Princess Celestia and the Mane Six agreed to let him live in the palace, where Celestia and Luna would help him make up for past sins. The High Princess just knows there's some good left in him just like in the past; that's why she spared him.
Feeling she might still have feelings for him, Discord agreed to the terms. He then understood that he will regain his powers slowly to 100%, but after a full day of creating chaos, he will need six months to fully recharge. Therefore, Discord decided to use his full power in the Grand Galloping Gala. Celestia complained that it's "awfully boring," so why not spice it up with a little silliness? Celestia agreed on the condition that nopony gets hurt or worse.
As for when he's partially recharged, Discord decided to use only his teleporting and/or shape-shifting abilities so he'd have enough for the Gala. And should he get bored, he can play some harmless pranks on the palace servants or guards (ex. a jack-in-the-box in the broom closet). Or he could once in a while have his cotton candy clouds rain chocolate milk in Ponyville. He thinks it might be fun to see the younger Ponies' excitement over the tasty treat.
Anyway, back to the present. Discord noticed that Celestia had like a hundred errands in her to-do list today and sensed that she'll get exhausted later. Therefore, he spent his day at the marketplace (disguised about a Pony), buying roses, scented candles, and massage oils and lotions. After returning to the castle and sneaking past Celestia, Luna, and their servants, he got into Celestia's room and set everything up. Before checking it all over, he asked a servant to deliver a message to the High Princess, saying he wants to see her "in private" after she had finished her duties.
Looking out the window, Discord saw that the sun was setting, a sign that Celestia finished her errands. With a smile, he quickly flew to the hinged side of the door to hide. What could be more fun than surprising Celestia when she comes in?
Five minutes later, the door opened, hiding the Draconequus behind it. His smile broadened as his dream Alicorn entered the room.
"I got your message, Discord," she said. "Is everything…alright?" Celestia couldn't believe her eyes. Her bed was made nicely and sprinkled with fresh red rose petals. Lit candles were on desks at both sides of the beds, emitting an aroma of her favorite flowers. A nearby stereo was playing beautiful exotic music that she finds so soothing. And on a satin pillow at the bottom end of the bed, a wicker basket held some oils and lotions. The princess was in so much awe that she never noticed the door slowly and quietly closing behind her, compliments of Discord. She didn't even sense his presence…until he swept her off her hooves, making her cry out in surprise.
"Surprise," he purred, floating over to the bed.
"Discord, what is all of this?" she asked, blushing as he laid her on the bed.
"I noticed this morning that you had a huge to-do list," the demon answered, so I took the day-off from pranks to set up a relaxing evening for you." Celestia couldn't believe her ears. Discord…not doing pranks for the day? That's not like him at all.
"Alright," she asked to humor him, "who are you, and what have you done with Discord?" The demon simply laughed in amusement.
"I know," he said to her. "I'm so out of character today. At least I gave your servants a break from my pranks."
"Oh, did you now?" she teased with a purr.
"Now don't you go telling anypony," he teased back. "It'll be bad for my reputation."
"I will not tell," the Alicorn promised with bedroom eyes, "as long as you make this evening worthwhile."
"Just trust me and lay on your stomach for me." Celestia happily complied and rolled over onto her stomach.
Discord couldn't help but shudder silently at the sight of her back. Her back…so white…it's like silk in the candlelight. Wanting so badly to stroke it, he calmly squirted one of the lotions into his lion paw and rubbed his hands together. Once it's good, he placed his hands on her shoulders and began massaging them.
"Oooh…" Celestia sighed, feeling Discord's thumbs moving in little circles against her shoulder blades. "Oh, yes…just like that? Mmm…" She was practically in heaven. Who would have thought that Discord would be a great masseuse?
"Oh, thank you, Equestria!" she cried out in ecstasy.
"'Equestria's' too formal for me," Discord chuckled softly into her ear as he moved further down her back. "'Discord's' just fine." He then started rubbing his hands up and down her back, his thumbs running along the sides of her spine.
Celestia couldn't help but giggle. One of her favorite traits about Discord, despite his past crimes, is his sense of humor. Most of the time, he uses his chaotic powers to create ridiculousness so as to make others smile, laugh, and have a good time whenever they are down and blue. That's why she agreed that the Gala would be the perfect event for him to use his full power; to relieve those attending of the boredom and sadness. After all, he said that Laughter is his favorite Element of Harmony. And speaking of laughter…
"Discord, not near my stomach!" the white Alicorn giggled when gently brushed his fingers down her sides by accident. "I'm ticklish there; you know that."
A mischievous grin crossed the Draconequus' face as a plan popped up in his head. Just because his powers are limited now, it doesn't mean he can't play around with her.
"Oh, you are…" he purred seductively. Celestia detected the mischief in his voice.
Oh, no! she thought as he flipped her around onto her back with a small portion of his powers.
"Discord," she warned as he wiggled his fingers with a mischievous grin, "don't you dare—" But it was too late; he began tickling her sides and stomach.
"AAAAUUUGGH! NO! HAHAHAHAHA! DISCO—AHAHA! STO—HAHA!" The poor Alicorn burst into laughter as Discord tickled her. She would have used her front hooves to push him off of her, but Discord has them held down with his tail. His tickling is even keeping her from focusing on a spell.
"I'll stop…for a kiss," Discord said with a bigger grin.
"WHA—HAHA! THAT'S NOT FA—HAHA—IR!"
"C'mon, you know you wanna…" he teased in a singsong voice, tickling her more. Celestia laughed even harder, no longer taking anymore of the torture.
"ALRIGHT! ALRI—HAHA! PLEASE, JUST STO—HAHA—P!" Discord complied and watched with a flirty smile as the giggling Alicorn catches her breath.
"When was the last time I told you that you look beautiful when you laugh?" he asked her softly. She then looked up at him with a blush, and he leaned down, his lips puckered out to kiss her on the lips…
"Princess Celestia, I—WHAT THE HAY?" The two entities' lips were just half a centimeter apart when a voice cried out. Turning to the side, they spotted a shocked Rainbow Dash, flying beside the bed with a rolled up parchment in her front hooves.
"R-Rainbow Dash!" Celestia cried with surprise, her blush becoming deeper.
"I was just…We were just…" Discord stuttered, turning to the Alicorn before turning back to the rainbow-maned Pony. "Oh, this is awkward…" Celestia then turned to the scroll that Rainbow's holding.
"Uh, you have something for me?" she asked quickly. Rainbow blinked before turning to the scroll with realization.
"Oh, yeah," she answered, still shock as she held it out to her. "It's from Twilight." Discord quickly got off of her as she took the scroll with her magic. He then turned to Rainbow.
"How did you get in here?" he asked in confusion as she started reading the letter.
"Uh…window was open," she answered, pointing at said window. Seeing the detail he had missed, the demon flopped his head into the pillow with his eagle claw over his eyes.
"Stupid!" he groaned as Celestia put the scroll away.
"Thank you, Rainbow Dash," she then said to the Pegasus. "Tell Spike that I hope he gets well soon." Discord looked up at her in confusion.
"Why? What's wrong?" he asked.
"Flaming flu," the two Ponies answered in unison.
"Yikes." Flaming flu is an Equestrian sickness, the flu to the dragons. Symptoms include: sneezing flames constantly; belching hot, smelly breath; and throwing up barf so hot, it bubbles and boils like lava. And a sickness that serious is sure to keep Spike from sending any reports from Twilight to the princess, so she won't be getting any mail for quite some time…at least until Spike's better.
"Thanks, Princess," Rainbow Dash then said to Celestia, "I'll be sure to tell him." She then flew out of the window, and Celestia turned to Discord.
"Well, that went—"
"AAAAUUUGGH!"
"Well?" Celestia finished, looking out the window with surprise as Rainbow stuck her head into it.
"Sorry," she explained. "I just had to get it out of my system." She then left for real, leaving Celestia to laugh at the Pony of Loyalty's reaction. Not hearing any laughter from Discord, she turned to find him with his face buried into the pillow.
"Discord, what's wrong?" she asked, confused at this other new change in her opposite. The demon just mumbled into the pillow in answer.
"What was that?" she asked. "I didn't hear you." He mumbled into the pillow again, a little louder and a bit clearer. Fortunately, she understood what he's complaining about and decided to play around with him.
"I still can't hear you," she teased in a singsong voice. Discord lifted his head up from the pillow and turned to her in annoyance.
"I said Rainbow Dash just went and killed the—" He was cut off when Celestia pressed her lips into hiss for a tender kiss. Oh, the soft touch…the sweet taste…he couldn't believe this is happening. Celestia's kissing him! He was still dazed as she then pulled away slowly.
"…mood…" he then finished in awe. Celestia simply giggled.
"I owed you a kiss, didn't I?" she asked. Snapping out of his daze, Discord flashed her a flirty grin.
"And you're still cute when you laugh," he replied, resting his chin on his lion paw and tracing his eagle claw up and down her front leg. The Alicorn simply sighed with a purr.
"I should have known that this 'relaxing evening' was going to come with a price," she then said.
"Aww, c'mon," he protested playfully. "You know you liked it." Celestia laughed in reply. She had to admit that she liked getting tickled by him back when they were little; Discord always enjoyed her laughter. She then gave the Draconequus a sweet smile.
"Do you know what I would like as well?" she purred softly. Discord blushed in answer. Is he seducing him?
"Wh-What?" he asked, afraid she might tickle him back. Even a demon of disharmony can be afraid of letting his powers get out of control, and getting tickled is a good way for his powers to go AWOL. He braced himself for the attack, but instead Celestia cuddled her back into his chest and stomach. Discord looked down at her, confused and off guard.
"You and I…" she answered softly, "cuddling throughout the night." Ooh, she's just so hot like that. Relaxing a little and with a smile. Discord slipped his lion arm under her gorgeous body and wrapped his eagle arm over it before resting his head on the pillow next to her. It would have made the relaxing evening into a romantic evening…and then Discord turned the bed into a giant cloud of pink, lavender, sky blue, and puce cotton candy.
"You are impossible sometimes, you know that?" Celestia sighed, breathing in the sweet scent of their new bedding.
"And you are boring sometimes," he countered, tickling her swan-like neck with light kisses. "At least you're cute." Celestia just giggled in reply.