The Fellowship goes bowling
Well, my warped and twisted mind has come up with yet another piece of fanfiction. This one is obviously about the Fellowship going bowling. ^^ Weird isn't it? Well, I'm sure there are a lot more stranger things than this on fanfiction.net, ne? Anyway, these characters don't belong to me, damn, so no suing! I have no money. All of it went into my posters.... ^^ Well, read and review! Have fun! By the way, the first part might not seem familier but bear with me, I had to add it in so that this fic could work.
***
Washu stared at the contraption before her with a look of pride and triumph. Her newest machine of destr- ... er, ahem, science I should say, was designed to transport beings from one plane of existance to another. Punching a few buttons on her hyperspace laptop, she didn't notice Mihoshi wander aimlessly into her laboratory. Holding one finger over the equivalent to an 'enter' key in our terms, the pink haired scientist grinned.
"Finally! I can take over the universe!! Um.... I mean, make universal peace!"
Her 'A' and 'B' dolls popped up on either one of her shoulders.
"You're the greatest Washu!"
"You're the best scientist in all the galaxies Washu!"
The emerald eyed intellectual took two lavish bows before returning her small hand to the keyboard.
"Thank you, thank you! Now, time to test this thing out!!"
The tip of her finger was only fractions of a centimeter away from the button that would take away any obstacle in her way of being the greatest scientist in all the universe when she was rudely interrupted by a high pitched squeal from somewhere to her right.
"Oooohhhhh! I wonder what these buttons do?"
"M-mihoshi! NO!!"
Too late. The blond Galaxy Police officer was typing away at the speed of light. Washu groaned.
"This girl is apocalype incarnated..."
The child faced scientist had no idea what effect her machine would have now.
***
With several cries and curses in different languages, a group of people landed on the ground in a tangled heap of limbs with a resounding thud.
"Pippin! Get your hairy feet out of my face, you fool of a Took!"
"Watch where you swing that staff, wizard!! This is some kind of devilry, I can sense it!"
"AI!!! What do you think you're grabbing you stupid dwarf?!"
"Well excuse me *Prince Legolas* but your rear is kind of hard to miss when it's on my FACE!!"
"Keep your hands to yourself Gimli."
"Sorry to touch your property Aragorn."
"Mr. Frodo? Mr. Frodo?! I think we've lost him!"
"Mirr miff miff... miff..."
"I think you're sitting on him Sam..."
"Oh! I was wondering what that was. Mr. Frodo!!"
"... Thank you Sam for making me feel like a hobbit pancake..."
"Speaking of pancakes Frodo, I'm hungry."
"AGAIN?!"
"Well... it's been an hour since elevensies..."
"Alright, alright. Everybody up so we can figure out where we are."
By now, almost everyone in the area was staring at the group of beings from Middle earth. After much shoving, whining, and cursing, the Fellowship was standing in as much order and dignity they could muster. Looking at their surroundings, they were more confused than ever.
"What kind of devilry is this?"
"Oh you and your devilry Boromir."
"Well at least *I'm* not whining about elevensies *Pippin*."
"Shut up both of you."
"Yes Aragorn."
Looking to the nearest person for help, Aragorn tapped a young girl on the shoulder. When she turned to him, the ranger smiled politely and spoke as clearly as possible with his (incredibly sexy) accent.
"Good day m'lady. We are lost and need assisstance. Can you tell me where we are please?"
The girl would have turned into a drolling puddle on the floor if it wasn't for Gimli's rough voice bringing her back to the present where a hairy dwarf was tugging on a corner of her skirt.
"Will you please hurry up and tell us where we are?"
The young woman wrinkled her nose in disgust and swatted Gimli's hand away. Legolas chuckled and stepped forward.
"Stupid dwarf... never have any manners. If you want a response, this is how you go about getting it."
The elf took the girl's hand and kissed the top of it, nearly smirking at her bright blush and Gimli's angry snort.
"Mistress, we are in great haste. We must know where we are. Can you tell us?"
In between hysterical giggles, the girl answered.
"Y-you're... in the... l-local b-b-b-bowling alley... um.... are you... f- free tonight?"
The blond's smile turned the remaining part of the young woman's brain into mush.
"Perhaps. We shall see."
The girl sighed happily before fainting. Legolas took out a small notebook and made a tally mark.
"Number 41,835,603. Not bad."
Gimli huffed and turned in a full circle, observing their surroundings again while Aragorn glared at Legolas in jealousy.
"Well, now we know we are in a 'bowling alley'... now we just need to find out what exactly *that* is and how we get back to Middle earth. I have the distinct feeling that the female that the elf spoke to will not be of assisstance this time."
Legolas rolled his eyes.
"What was your first clue?"
Pippin thought for a moment.
"A bowling alley you said? Maybe it has to do with food since it's called a 'bowl'ing alley."
The others turned their heads and whistled as Gandalf clonked the hobbit on the head with his staff. Dragging the now unconcious Pippin, Boromir glanced to the man behind a counter who was stareing at them.
"Hey! You there! Can you help us?"
Dropping Pippin, who fell to the ground with a loud thud, the son of the steward of Gondor ran to the counter and put a hand on the hilt of his sword and the other on the counter. The man looked terrified.
'S-sir? Um... can you please not be so uh... threatening? I'll be forced to call security..."
Aragorn smacked Boromir upside the head and smiled at the clerk. He muttered under his breath to Boromir.
"Be calm Boromir... let a king handle this."
The soon to be dead guy rolled his eyes and mocked Aragorn behind his back, earning another smack, this time from Legolas. While the ranger talked to the man behind the counter, Merry poked Pippin continueally until the hobbit awoke. Sitting up, Pippin rubbed his head, looking around in confusion before his gaze locked on Merry.
"We are we?"
Just before Merry could answer, a little boy passed my with a plate full of food. With a watering mouth and a strange glitter in his eye, Pippin tackled the poor kid, wrestling a hot dog out of his grip. While the child cried and his mother came to pick him up and glare at the hobbit, Pippin ate the food happily. Licking his lips, he grinned while Merry just shook his head. Aragorn was still in deep conversation with the man behind the counter.
"So, you people have never gone bowling before, am I right?"
"That is true. We do not even know what this is all about."
"Well, I could show you, but you have to pay first. It's two dollars a game. Plus you have to pay for the special shoes."
Taking out a pair of the aforementioned shoes, Aragorn looked at them in wonderment. He'd never seen such brightly colored objects before.The neon colors nearly blinded him. In his mind, they must surely have been magical. Digging in his money pouch, he wondered what dollars were. Curious, he looked back up at the expectant man.
"Um... what is that in our currency?"
"Oh, we can't take other currencies. I'm sorry sir, I guess I can't help you."
By now Gandalf and Boromir were getting impatient. When they heard the man say he couldn't help them, Boromir took out his sword and the wizard welded his staff. Taking threatening poses, they glared at the the poor man again.
"Okay okay, you can do this for free! Just don't hurt me..."
Boromir removed his sword from the young man's neck and sheathed it, giving Aragorn a smirk.
"Let the king handle it eh? Looks like the wizard and I got more of a response than you did, oh great *king*."
Aragorn frowned at cocky man, waiting as the guy from behind the counter gave them all the 'magical' shoes. Pippin and Merry seemed the most delighted from the brightly colored objects. Looking at each other, once they were on, they wondered if they could keep them. The scared young man showed them to their own bowling lanes, putting up bumpers on the one that the hobbits were designated to. Explaining the object of the game, the man left, wanted to be as far away as possible from the strange people. Legolas wrinkled his nose at the bowling shoes.
"I have to wear *these* things? But they're .... they're .... ugly."
The hobbits stopped their conversation on how cool the shoes were to glare at the elf. Aragorn put the offending things on, blinking at the brightness. Following the ranger's example, Gandalf and Boromir put their's on. Legolas was the only one not wearing his. Crossing his arms and pouting, the elf steadfastly refused.
"I will not degrade myself by wearing these."
The others shrugged and went in search of bowling balls. Frodo picked one up, nearly squashing his large feet by dropping the large ball. With those wide blue eyes of his, he looked up at Aragorn, confusion etched on his features.
"We have to throw these things to hit those pins? How can I do that if I can't even pick it up?"
The ranger looked at the ball and read the number.
"Well, this says eleven on it. Maybe if you find one with a smaller number that means that it weighs less."
"How do you know that?"
"I asked someone."
Picking up the ball that the hobbit dropped, Aragorn found it to be to his liking. Helping Frodo, they found one that had the number eight on it, finding it to be just the right weight for the small hobbit. Once the nine of them had found the right bowling balls, they placed them where the man told them to and looked at the small computer screen where they were supposed to type in their names. The group looked at each other and back at the screen.
"How do you work this contraption?"
"Do I look like an expert in this world to you?"
"Well excuse me for asking a stupid, blond elf like you."
Legolas drop kicked Gimli.
"Now... Let's ask someone how to use this thing."
Finding someone to help them, they finally had everything ready for a game of bowling. Frodo, being the ringbearer, was the first to go. Picking up his ball, a blue one that matched his eyes, he stepped up to the start of the lane, his multicolored shoes clicking on the polished wood. Putting the ball at his eye level, he prepared to be the first hobbit ever to bowl.
***
To be continued!!! I sure had fun with this so far. If you want the next part, review! Sorry for all the Gimli bashing, I just had to do it. All the other bashing is just pure affection. I love Pippin to death, even if I do have things happen to him. ^^ Well, be ready for chapter two!! Bai bai!
Well, my warped and twisted mind has come up with yet another piece of fanfiction. This one is obviously about the Fellowship going bowling. ^^ Weird isn't it? Well, I'm sure there are a lot more stranger things than this on fanfiction.net, ne? Anyway, these characters don't belong to me, damn, so no suing! I have no money. All of it went into my posters.... ^^ Well, read and review! Have fun! By the way, the first part might not seem familier but bear with me, I had to add it in so that this fic could work.
***
Washu stared at the contraption before her with a look of pride and triumph. Her newest machine of destr- ... er, ahem, science I should say, was designed to transport beings from one plane of existance to another. Punching a few buttons on her hyperspace laptop, she didn't notice Mihoshi wander aimlessly into her laboratory. Holding one finger over the equivalent to an 'enter' key in our terms, the pink haired scientist grinned.
"Finally! I can take over the universe!! Um.... I mean, make universal peace!"
Her 'A' and 'B' dolls popped up on either one of her shoulders.
"You're the greatest Washu!"
"You're the best scientist in all the galaxies Washu!"
The emerald eyed intellectual took two lavish bows before returning her small hand to the keyboard.
"Thank you, thank you! Now, time to test this thing out!!"
The tip of her finger was only fractions of a centimeter away from the button that would take away any obstacle in her way of being the greatest scientist in all the universe when she was rudely interrupted by a high pitched squeal from somewhere to her right.
"Oooohhhhh! I wonder what these buttons do?"
"M-mihoshi! NO!!"
Too late. The blond Galaxy Police officer was typing away at the speed of light. Washu groaned.
"This girl is apocalype incarnated..."
The child faced scientist had no idea what effect her machine would have now.
***
With several cries and curses in different languages, a group of people landed on the ground in a tangled heap of limbs with a resounding thud.
"Pippin! Get your hairy feet out of my face, you fool of a Took!"
"Watch where you swing that staff, wizard!! This is some kind of devilry, I can sense it!"
"AI!!! What do you think you're grabbing you stupid dwarf?!"
"Well excuse me *Prince Legolas* but your rear is kind of hard to miss when it's on my FACE!!"
"Keep your hands to yourself Gimli."
"Sorry to touch your property Aragorn."
"Mr. Frodo? Mr. Frodo?! I think we've lost him!"
"Mirr miff miff... miff..."
"I think you're sitting on him Sam..."
"Oh! I was wondering what that was. Mr. Frodo!!"
"... Thank you Sam for making me feel like a hobbit pancake..."
"Speaking of pancakes Frodo, I'm hungry."
"AGAIN?!"
"Well... it's been an hour since elevensies..."
"Alright, alright. Everybody up so we can figure out where we are."
By now, almost everyone in the area was staring at the group of beings from Middle earth. After much shoving, whining, and cursing, the Fellowship was standing in as much order and dignity they could muster. Looking at their surroundings, they were more confused than ever.
"What kind of devilry is this?"
"Oh you and your devilry Boromir."
"Well at least *I'm* not whining about elevensies *Pippin*."
"Shut up both of you."
"Yes Aragorn."
Looking to the nearest person for help, Aragorn tapped a young girl on the shoulder. When she turned to him, the ranger smiled politely and spoke as clearly as possible with his (incredibly sexy) accent.
"Good day m'lady. We are lost and need assisstance. Can you tell me where we are please?"
The girl would have turned into a drolling puddle on the floor if it wasn't for Gimli's rough voice bringing her back to the present where a hairy dwarf was tugging on a corner of her skirt.
"Will you please hurry up and tell us where we are?"
The young woman wrinkled her nose in disgust and swatted Gimli's hand away. Legolas chuckled and stepped forward.
"Stupid dwarf... never have any manners. If you want a response, this is how you go about getting it."
The elf took the girl's hand and kissed the top of it, nearly smirking at her bright blush and Gimli's angry snort.
"Mistress, we are in great haste. We must know where we are. Can you tell us?"
In between hysterical giggles, the girl answered.
"Y-you're... in the... l-local b-b-b-bowling alley... um.... are you... f- free tonight?"
The blond's smile turned the remaining part of the young woman's brain into mush.
"Perhaps. We shall see."
The girl sighed happily before fainting. Legolas took out a small notebook and made a tally mark.
"Number 41,835,603. Not bad."
Gimli huffed and turned in a full circle, observing their surroundings again while Aragorn glared at Legolas in jealousy.
"Well, now we know we are in a 'bowling alley'... now we just need to find out what exactly *that* is and how we get back to Middle earth. I have the distinct feeling that the female that the elf spoke to will not be of assisstance this time."
Legolas rolled his eyes.
"What was your first clue?"
Pippin thought for a moment.
"A bowling alley you said? Maybe it has to do with food since it's called a 'bowl'ing alley."
The others turned their heads and whistled as Gandalf clonked the hobbit on the head with his staff. Dragging the now unconcious Pippin, Boromir glanced to the man behind a counter who was stareing at them.
"Hey! You there! Can you help us?"
Dropping Pippin, who fell to the ground with a loud thud, the son of the steward of Gondor ran to the counter and put a hand on the hilt of his sword and the other on the counter. The man looked terrified.
'S-sir? Um... can you please not be so uh... threatening? I'll be forced to call security..."
Aragorn smacked Boromir upside the head and smiled at the clerk. He muttered under his breath to Boromir.
"Be calm Boromir... let a king handle this."
The soon to be dead guy rolled his eyes and mocked Aragorn behind his back, earning another smack, this time from Legolas. While the ranger talked to the man behind the counter, Merry poked Pippin continueally until the hobbit awoke. Sitting up, Pippin rubbed his head, looking around in confusion before his gaze locked on Merry.
"We are we?"
Just before Merry could answer, a little boy passed my with a plate full of food. With a watering mouth and a strange glitter in his eye, Pippin tackled the poor kid, wrestling a hot dog out of his grip. While the child cried and his mother came to pick him up and glare at the hobbit, Pippin ate the food happily. Licking his lips, he grinned while Merry just shook his head. Aragorn was still in deep conversation with the man behind the counter.
"So, you people have never gone bowling before, am I right?"
"That is true. We do not even know what this is all about."
"Well, I could show you, but you have to pay first. It's two dollars a game. Plus you have to pay for the special shoes."
Taking out a pair of the aforementioned shoes, Aragorn looked at them in wonderment. He'd never seen such brightly colored objects before.The neon colors nearly blinded him. In his mind, they must surely have been magical. Digging in his money pouch, he wondered what dollars were. Curious, he looked back up at the expectant man.
"Um... what is that in our currency?"
"Oh, we can't take other currencies. I'm sorry sir, I guess I can't help you."
By now Gandalf and Boromir were getting impatient. When they heard the man say he couldn't help them, Boromir took out his sword and the wizard welded his staff. Taking threatening poses, they glared at the the poor man again.
"Okay okay, you can do this for free! Just don't hurt me..."
Boromir removed his sword from the young man's neck and sheathed it, giving Aragorn a smirk.
"Let the king handle it eh? Looks like the wizard and I got more of a response than you did, oh great *king*."
Aragorn frowned at cocky man, waiting as the guy from behind the counter gave them all the 'magical' shoes. Pippin and Merry seemed the most delighted from the brightly colored objects. Looking at each other, once they were on, they wondered if they could keep them. The scared young man showed them to their own bowling lanes, putting up bumpers on the one that the hobbits were designated to. Explaining the object of the game, the man left, wanted to be as far away as possible from the strange people. Legolas wrinkled his nose at the bowling shoes.
"I have to wear *these* things? But they're .... they're .... ugly."
The hobbits stopped their conversation on how cool the shoes were to glare at the elf. Aragorn put the offending things on, blinking at the brightness. Following the ranger's example, Gandalf and Boromir put their's on. Legolas was the only one not wearing his. Crossing his arms and pouting, the elf steadfastly refused.
"I will not degrade myself by wearing these."
The others shrugged and went in search of bowling balls. Frodo picked one up, nearly squashing his large feet by dropping the large ball. With those wide blue eyes of his, he looked up at Aragorn, confusion etched on his features.
"We have to throw these things to hit those pins? How can I do that if I can't even pick it up?"
The ranger looked at the ball and read the number.
"Well, this says eleven on it. Maybe if you find one with a smaller number that means that it weighs less."
"How do you know that?"
"I asked someone."
Picking up the ball that the hobbit dropped, Aragorn found it to be to his liking. Helping Frodo, they found one that had the number eight on it, finding it to be just the right weight for the small hobbit. Once the nine of them had found the right bowling balls, they placed them where the man told them to and looked at the small computer screen where they were supposed to type in their names. The group looked at each other and back at the screen.
"How do you work this contraption?"
"Do I look like an expert in this world to you?"
"Well excuse me for asking a stupid, blond elf like you."
Legolas drop kicked Gimli.
"Now... Let's ask someone how to use this thing."
Finding someone to help them, they finally had everything ready for a game of bowling. Frodo, being the ringbearer, was the first to go. Picking up his ball, a blue one that matched his eyes, he stepped up to the start of the lane, his multicolored shoes clicking on the polished wood. Putting the ball at his eye level, he prepared to be the first hobbit ever to bowl.
***
To be continued!!! I sure had fun with this so far. If you want the next part, review! Sorry for all the Gimli bashing, I just had to do it. All the other bashing is just pure affection. I love Pippin to death, even if I do have things happen to him. ^^ Well, be ready for chapter two!! Bai bai!