Author's Note: Oh geeze. This is probably the porniest thing I've ever written, not even kidding. It's pretty much Gustavo's mansion-sitting rules, Jagan sexy timez style. Oh goodness. Huge thanks to ShisouEimin for beta-ing this for me. Even though I did act like a silly school girl and go hide under a rock while blushing furiously. It's a miracle I even got this thing written (don't even get me started on how long it took) haha. Anyway! ENJOY! ;)

PS: Yes, the rules are placed out of order for a reason, and three and four are together for ~reasons. Also, I suck at labeling fics so for now it's going under Humor/General. Don't ask me why I chose humor when I'm pretty horrible at it *shrug*

Disclaimer: Unfortunately Logan is still not in my bed. And neither is James. Kendall and Carlos still belong to themselves and BTR still belongs to Scott Fellows and Nickelodeon. *le sigh*

Breaking the Rules

Rule Four: Do Not Touch My Peruvian Hairless Cat Monte

James was not expecting this. He never thought that Gustavo would trust them with the mansion a second time around, not after what happened the first time. But he is and they're here watching it for an entire weekend because Gustavo is on vacation.

"Remember, James, we have rules," Logan reminds him. James rolls his eyes. Logan has been reminding all of them about the rules and what happened last time since Gustavo called and told them they were mansion-sitting again.

"Logan, stop." James grabs Logan's wrist to stop him. "Everything will be perfectly fine. It's us! What could possibly go wrong?"

Logan's eyes go comically wide. "Have you already forgotten about last time? Alligator, evil cat-thing, alarm, disco ball, pud-" Logan is effectively cut off by James' lips on his, silencing the brunette's argument. He doesn't give Logan time to get into it before he's pulling away, grinning.

"Of course I haven't forgotten. You keep reminding us every time we want to do something." He ignores the glare Logan gives him and, laughing, tugs Logan into his arms.

"But-"

"Shut up, Logan," James sighs. "We're going to have fun this weekend. Right?" The smirk on his face is nothing shy of smug. He knows Logan will give in eventually. It happens every time they all want to do something that could potentially get them into trouble and Logan is always the one that tries—and fails— to talk them out of it.

Logan groans. "You're so full of it, James Diamond." But he's smiling and standing on his tip-toes to give James a proper kiss. James smiles into the kiss, backing Logan up until he's pressed against the wall, his fingers digging into Logan's leather jacket.

A quiet meow causes James to stop and look to his right. It's Monte, Gustavo's cat-thing. "Shoo," he says loudly in the hopes that the animal will run off and leave them be. But he doesn't. He sits there and stares at them, his big yellow eyes creeping James out a little. "Go away, Monte!"

James reluctantly leaves Logan and heads straight for the cat. He stomps his foot but Monte doesn't budge. Instead he meows again and starts to lick one of his paws. Logan laughs. James takes another step towards Monte, this time making a shoo-ing motion with his hands.

"James, just leave him alone. He'll go away," Logan says.

"Well it's creeping me out the way he's just sitting there staring at us," James replies. Monte cocks his head to the side like he's studying James. James suddenly goes running towards the cat.

The cat turns and runs towards the living room, James right behind him. He can hear Logan protesting the entire time but he wants that cat gone. Eventually he gets Monte trapped between him and Gustavo's living room 'fridge.

Monte meows pitifully and that actually makes James feel sorry for chasing him. Logan walks around him, straight for Monte, and picks the cat up effortlessly. James watches in awe as Logan pets Monte and smiles at him.

"He's harmless!" Logan pats the cat on the head quickly before putting him down. On his way out of the room, Monte bows up and spits at James then takes off for the hallway. "Obviously he doesn't like you, James."

James rolls his eyes. "You do realize you broke one of Gustavo's rules?" He can't resist teasing Logan about something that the brunette has been constantly going on about all day.

Leaning against the 'fridge, Logan crosses his arms over his chest and huffs. "It's just a cat. Stupid rule anyways," he grumbles. James laughs loudly as he walks towards Logan with a smirk on his face.

"It's okay to break the rules every once in awhile, Logan," James murmurs as he pins Logan against the refrigerator, hands on either side of his head to lock the smaller boy in place.

Logan sighs but James knows that look: he's giving in.

"Fine." James grins in triumph as he backs away and allows Logan to move. "How 'bout some pudding?"

James can only shake his head in amusement.

Rule Two: Do Not Open My Living Room 'Fridge

Logan so isn't into this whole breaking the rules thing. But when James pins him like that he can't help it. He has to give in; anything to make James touch him like that. Just the thought of it sends a shiver down his spine.

This time around Gustavo left the lock off the living room 'fridge. It surprised them all but they all readily accepted it. James opens it with ease and Logan has to bite back a laugh remembering how they got it open the first time.

"What's so funny, Mitchell?" James glances over his shoulder at Logan and Logan grins.

"Nothing at all."

James shrugs and bends over, sticking his head in. Logan watches in amusement as James does a little dance while digging through the various types of pudding. He glances at his watch, wondering just how long it takes a person to pick out some pudding.

"Logan, come get you some pudding," James says, voice muffled from where his head is shoved in there. James pops up holding four cups of the snack, grinning triumphantly. Shaking his head, Logan grabs a spoon from the door and starts sorting through the different options.

He can vaguely hear James moving around behind him. It wouldn't surprise him if the other boy is already digging into the pudding like there's no tomorrow. With an eye roll, he turns his attention back to the task in front of him. Picking a flavor should not be this hard.

Suddenly he feels James' presence right behind him. Logan tenses, wondering what James could possibly be up to now. Whatever it is it usually ends up in either the both of them arguing or trying desperately to get somewhere private. He sighs, ready to give up on the pudding, but then hands are on his hips, tugging, and Logan can't help it if his first reaction is to press back into the contact.

"James, what're you doing?" Logan questions.

James pulls Logan back, fitting their bodies together perfectly, and leaning over Logan, lips at his ear, "Decided that you look so much better than the pudding." Logan huffs out a breath and tries to wiggle out of James' grasp but to no avail.

"Not in here, James," Logan scolds. He tries not to think about how good James' hands feel on his hips. Logan stands upright and closes the refrigerator. It doesn't take long for James to spin him around and pin him against it.

James is staring at him. Logan swallows hard under the intensity of it. "You're so cute when you get all flustered," James mutters, pushing his fingertips underneath the hem of Logan's jacket and shirt. "Get this off." He doesn't give Logan time to do it himself before the jacket is being pushed off Logan's shoulders.

Logan smirks at James' impatience. "So impatient." James smirks right back as he grips Logan's hips in his hands and pulls the other boy forward to capture his lips in a kiss. Hands wander under Logan's shirt, effectively shoving it halfway up his torso and revealing inches of exposed skin. James moans softly and, breaking their kiss, drops to his knees.

"Do you want me to touch you, Logan?" James murmurs; his lips brush against Logan's skin with every word. Logan squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them and looking down. James is staring up at him, lips barely touching Logan's belly right above his bellybutton. His cock is half-hard in his jeans and James has to know but of course he won't touch him until Logan says so.

"Fuck yes," Logan moans. He feels it when James smiles. James leans back on his knees, nimble fingers already working on the leather belt around Logan's waist before moving to the button and popping it through the hole. The zipper feels like torture as James slides it down agonizingly slow, allowing the rough metal to create delicious friction on his dick. He pushes his hips forward so James can tug his jeans halfway down his thighs.

James slides his hands up the back of Logan's thighs, slow and torturous, and Logan knocks his head against the hard surface of the refrigerator door. He sucks in a sharp breath of air and lets it out on a groan. James tucks his fingers into the sides of Logan's briefs then pulls them down in one fluid motion, and finally—finally—there's a moment of relief as his cock is freed.

"Come on, James," Logan whines. He needs to be touched and it needs to happen now. Frustrated, he rocks forward, ready to beg James if the need arises, but then, after a quick kiss to his hip, James wraps a hand around the base and squeezes with just the right amount of pressure. James grins up at him before opening his mouth wide and closing his lips over the head of Logan's dick. Logan moans and winds a hand through James' hair; he'll get shit for it later but right now he could care less.

James sinks lower, lips stretching thin the farther he goes. Logan's fingers tighten in his hair as James hums around his dick. He's vaguely aware that it's one of their songs—Big Time Rush maybe—though Logan really doesn't care what James is doing, so long as he doesn't stop.

Logan tugs on James' hair and James moans. Grinning, Logan does it again. James may be a spaz when it comes to his hair but he secretly loves having it pulled. Only Logan knows this and uses it to his advantage.

James does this wicked little trick with his tongue and Logan thumps his head back hard enough to hurt. He barely registers the sting though, and instead pushes his hips forward and holds James' hair so tightly that he can't pull back. James squeezes Logan's hips and, much to Logan's delight, tugs his hips forward impossibly closer.

James relaxes his throat, allowing Logan's cock to push deeper. Gasping, Logan rocks his hips slightly and James swallows and oh, fuck. He comes embarrassingly fast down James' throat, eyes squeezed shut tightly and breathing coming out in tiny gasps. "Fuck, James," he groans as he slumps back against the refrigerator. The surface is sticky with sweat and he sticks on the way down to the floor.

James pulls off grinning. Logan watches as he swipes the back of a hand across his mouth, catching any stray drops of cum that he didn't manage to swallow. If he weren't so spent, Logan would be interested in another round here and now but he's boneless and sated, perfectly fine with just sitting here and basking in the afterglow.

"You missed a spot. C'mere," he murmurs. James crawls on his hands and knees until he's straddling Logan's thighs. Logan cups James' chin in his hand and sweeps the pad of his thumb across the other boy's chin where a drop of cum lingers. James is watching him intently and when Logan sucks his thumb into his mouth James shoves a hand between his own legs, whining pathetically at the lack of attention to his neglected cock.

"Logan-"

Logan smiles devilishly. He winds a hand into James' shirt and tugs him closer. James puckers his lips, ready for a kiss, but Logan turns his head slightly. James whines again in response.

"Since I'm such a bad boy now, breaking the rules and all," Logan smiles slyly at James. James tries for another kiss. "I think I'm going to make you wait. You did, after all, tell me to break a few rules now and then." He winks at James then gently shoves the other boy away so he can lift his hips and pull his underwear and jeans back up.

Once his jeans are buttoned and zipped he gets to his feet and holds a hand out to James. James allows himself to be pulled to his feet and when Logan glances down he can see just how much James needs to be touched. After a quick squeeze to James' dick and a kiss to his cheek, Logan backs off, winks again, and saunters off to the media room.

Breaking the rules has never been so awesome.

Rule One: Stay Out of My Media Room and Rule Three: Keep the Butts Off My $40,000 Federico Banini Couch

James could murder Logan right there on the spot. He's desperate for any kind of touch right now and Logan's the only one that can give him what he needs and it's just not fair that Logan's being such a fucking tease right now. With an indignant huff, he follows Logan into the media room a few minutes later (after he's calmed his dick down of course) and finds said boy lounging in the giant brown leather chair across from the big screen TV.

James gapes at Logan who looks perfectly comfortable and would rather lounge around for the rest of the afternoon. But James won't have any of that. He's across the room in five steps, standing in front of Logan to block the view of the television screen.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

Logan smirks up at him. James swallows hard, his dick twitching in interest in his jeans; he shifts a little to alleviate the discomfort. "Watching a movie. What does it look like I'm doing?" Logan answers in mock innocence.

"Logan," James huffs.

"James," Logan mimics. He's smirking again. James glares and stalks forward until he's practically in Logan's lap. He drops down landing right on Logan's thighs. Logan shifts down in the chair, legs splaying open only a couple of inches.

"Don't be such a fucking tease, Logan." James grinds down and moans at the delicious friction it creates. Holding onto the armrests, he leans down and kisses Logan, light and barely there at first but then harder and deeper, tongue probing at Logan's lips and opening them up with ease. Logan moans into his mouth.

"James," Logan gasps out after turning away. James grabs Logan by the chin and forces Logan to look at him. Logan's lips are kiss-swollen and pink, his cheeks are flushed, and his pupils are blown wide with arousal. James smirks.

"I'm that good huh?" He doesn't give Logan time to answer before he's kissing the other boy again, still holding his chin in one hand, the other slipping underneath Logan's shirt.

He scratches his nails lightly down Logan's stomach, stopping just shy of the button on his jeans. Smirking, James removes his mouth from Logan's, Logan following as far up as he can, pout on his lips. James sits back and uses both hands to shove Logan's shirt up to his neck. He practically bends in half to press his lips to Logan's skin so he scoots back, his jeans rubbing against his cock and sending a jolt of pleasure up his spine.

"You're such a tease, Logan. You know that?" James whispers against Logan's abs. When Logan chuckles James can feel the vibrations against his lips. He pokes his tongue out, tracing each defined muscle with the tip until Logan is shuddering beneath him, soft moans the only thing James can hear.

"I'm…I'm the tease?" Fingers thread themselves in James' hair. James growls low in this throat and nips the spot above Logan's bellybutton. Logan huffs out another laugh.

James lifts his head despite Logan's protests to keep going. He pointedly looks down at his own crotch where the bulge in his jeans is obvious. Logan follows the movement, grinning at James. The latter rolls his eyes before standing up and grabbing Logan's hands, intent on showing him just how much of a tease James really is.

After Logan is on his feet, James pulls him close, hands going to Logan's waist to draw him even closer. He slides his hands up Logan's sides, fingertips catching Logan's shirt and pulling it up. "Take this off," James mutters before dropping a kiss to Logan's lips. Logan does as he's told and quickly rids himself of his shirt then flings it into the chair behind him.

Attaching his lips to Logan's neck, James sucks a bruise right under Logan's ear, loving the moan he gets in response. He's dangerously close to Logan's most sensitive spot so he kisses his way up, Logan breathing in sharp, and closes his lips around the fleshy lobe. Logan nearly melts against him, his entire body going boneless and pliant right there in James' arms.

"That's not fair," Logan breathes. "I have sensitive ears, you know that."

James shrugs and tugs on Logan's ear with his teeth before releasing it and pulling back. Logan whines in protest. James slides his hands around to Logan's back, fingertips dancing down his spine, and promptly shoves his hands down the back of Logan's pants. He holds the shorter boy's hips tightly against his own and grinds his dick against Logan's rapidly hardening one.

Logan suddenly rears back and presses his mouth to James', hands curled around his ears and holding him effectively in place. James moans loudly into Logan's open mouth, grinding harder and faster. It won't take much, if he could just-

"James, I'm not doing this in the media room. There's no bed in here."

James groans, forehead dropping to Logan's shoulder. "Fuck, Logan, you're going to be the death of me." He doesn't give Logan time to say anything as he reattaches their mouths and squeezes Logan's ass at the same time. A hand snakes down between their bodies and Logan thumbs open his pants so James can push them down his hips and to the floor.

"Too many clothes," Logan mumbles. James fixes that by reluctantly removing his hands from Logan's body and shucking his shirt off fast while Logan works open his pants and gets those down his legs. "If we don't get to a bedroom now I just might break my own rule and let you fuck me right here on Gustavo's expensive leather chair." James almost misses the smirk that lights up Logan's face.

But right now James could care less about where they go so long as they get there and just do it already. Once he's stepped out of his pants he goes back to kissing those delicious, kiss-swollen lips. Logan clasps his hands behind James' neck, kissing back with just as much fervor and desire. Not able to resist touching Logan, James wraps his hands under Logan's thighs and lifts, Logan giving a little hop of his own, until legs are wrapped around his waist and he's pretty much carrying Logan out of the room.

"Do you even know where the bedrooms are?" Logan asks breathlessly. James moans at the loss of Logan's lips on his. He shakes his head but keeps moving until he's halfway across the living room, stumbling into things and tripping over Gustavo's ugly rug. He bumps into the back of the couch, laughing.

Logan's lips find their way to James' neck. He nips along the column of James' throat, stopping to nudge his nose underneath James' jaw. James tilts his head back and as a result almost goes tumbling over the side of the couch, Logan chuckling in response. Lust, hot and sudden, twists in his belly at the sound and he spins around fast and pins Logan to the couch with his hips.

"Think I'm gonna fuck you right here, against the couch." He grins at the way Logan's eyes flutter closed and his lips part on a breathy whine. James grabs Logan's hips and tugs him closer, their cocks brushing together teasingly.

"Stop talking and do it then," Logan replies, smirking. James surges forward, smashing their lips together almost painfully—anything to wipe that smirk off Logan's face.

James taps Logan's left knee and in response Logan drops his legs, feet hitting the hardwood floor with a soft thud. "You do know Carlos and Kendall could walk in at any moment," Logan says as James manhandles him into the position desired; his ass in the air, hands gripping the back of the couch in anticipation, feet spread. James, smirking, slides his hands down Logan's thighs then back up again to circle around and wrap a hand around Logan's cock.

"Don't care," James mutters.

Logan's hips jerk forward and his grip tightens around the fabric of the couch. Gustavo is going to murder them. James, as if reading Logan's mind, laughs and bends over Logan's body, chest-to-back, crotch-to-ass, and kisses his cheek before whispering, "Let him," and grinding his dick against Logan's ass. Logan all but melts against the couch and becomes as pliant as putty in James' hands.

James gives Logan's cock one good stroke before letting go and stepping back, pulling Logan with him. He wraps an arm around Logan's waist; the index and middle finger of his other hand tap against Logan's bottom lip and Logan willingly opens his mouth. James slides his fingers in, moaning as Logan wraps his tongue around the digits and thoroughly coats them with saliva. He pushes back with his hips while doing so, trapping James' dick between their bodies and providing no amount of relief.

"That's enough," James says through clenched teeth. Logan releases James' fingers with an audible wet 'pop' and James has to close his eyes for a moment. Once he's caught his breath he teasingly slides just the tips of his fingers down Logan's side, the other boy shivering in pleasure.

James removes his arm from Logan's waist, all but shoving him back to the couch. Logan presses his forehead to the edge of the couch and James can see the deep breath he draws in and lets out slowly. James swallows hard, his cock growing painfully harder at the sight of Logan's sweat-slicked skin as he trails his fingers down Logan's ass and to the puckered hole. Logan hisses when James pushes the tip of his index finger past the tight ring of muscle.

"You're so tight, Logan, fuck." James pushes his finger in farther until he's knuckle deep. Logan's hips are moving in small, slow circles, ass clenching around James' finger, and James loves every second of it. He wiggles the digit around, searching for that spot he knows will make Logan see stars. When he finally finds the bundle of nerves Logan lets out a high keening sound, his hips jerking forward then rolling back.

"Fuck, James, come on, I-I need-" He breaks off into a moan as James lightly presses his finger against Logan's prostrate.

James grins at the reaction and proceeds to add another finger alongside the first. He scissors his fingers, the tips just barely brushing against Logan's sweet spot again and again, and eventually Logan's moans turn desperate and he starts pressing his hips back, trying to get more. James stretches and pulls and maneuvers his fingers until Logan is begging for more.

"James, James, I'm ready, fuck, just do it," Logan pants out. He looks at James over his shoulder: his eyes have gone dark with desire, his cheeks are flushed, and his skin is shiny with sweat. James moans at the sight and quickly removes his fingers.

They've been fooling around long enough. After spitting into his hand, James fists his own dick a few times, slowly, groaning at the relief the feeling brings. He grips Logan's hip with his free hand and lines his cock up with the other before pushing the head past the ring of muscle. Logan gasps at the intrusion but urges James to keep moving, don't stop moving, never stop moving.

James adjusts his stance a little to get a better angle then drives forward 'til he bottoms out with Logan's ass fitted perfectly to his crotch, balls resting together. He stops moving altogether then just to catch his breath because this is perfect and the most amazing feeling in the world. Logan shudders out a breath beneath him then he's rocking back and pushing up on his hands to push back even farther with his hands planted firmly on the back of the couch.

And with just one heated glance over the shoulder James knows to move. He pulls out almost all the way before surging forward. Logan holds on as James grabs his hips and does it again and again and again. Sweat rolls down the sides of his neck and drips off onto Logan's back, right on his spine. James can't resist the temptation of all that smooth, sweat-slicked skin so he leans over and flattens his tongue to Logan's spine, then drags it over each bump and ridge until he's at the base of Logan's neck.

Logan moans long and low as James nips the skin of his neck. All the while James is rolling his hips hard enough to shove Logan forward, his cock hitting Logan's prostrate each time. Logan's muttering into the couch, a fast mantra of , and every word has James moving his hips faster, driving into Logan so fast that he's sure Logan won't be able to walk straight for a few days.

"Fuck, James, so close," Logan chokes out. He reaches down to wrap a hand around his dick but James bats the hand away and closes his own hand around the base. He leaves a trail of hot kisses along the column of Logan's throat as he pumps Logan's dick fast and rough, intent on bringing the other to release at the same time as his own.

James twists his hand around the head of Logan's dick and Logan nearly loses it right there. His hips rock faster, harder, drawing James in with every clench of his hole around James' cock. With his forehead to Logan's shoulder, James moves his hand faster and his cock deeper. He can feel the hot coil of his orgasm building, threatening to drown him if he doesn't come soon.

"So close," Logan moans.

James huffs out a breath and grinds his hips against Logan's ass. His rhythm is off, choppy and erratic, and he's so close he can feel it in his toes. With one last thrust and twist of his hand his movements still and his breath comes out in short gasps as his orgasm rips through him. He bites down on Logan's shoulder, moaning loudly as he spills inside Logan, gasps turning into breathy moans.

Logan is a writhing mess beneath him so James picks up where he left off and pumps Logan's cock in time with the movement of Logan's hips. Lips to Logan's ear, James whispers "Come for me, Logan," and Logan moans low in his throat as he comes hot over James' hand and the couch.

When Logan slumps forward James removes his hand and pushes himself upright. His body feels like the consistency of jello as he takes a couple of steps back, his softening cock slipping out of Logan's body. Logan doesn't make a sound when James hoists him up by the waist and maneuvers them around to the front of the couch where they sit, content and sated.

James almost doesn't catch the wince that crosses Logan's face. He would feel bad but right now he can't find it in himself to worry too much. Logan sighs and shifts around until he's pressed to James' side, their skin sticking together and the fabric of the couch becoming increasingly annoying as it sticks to their bare legs and backs.

"James."

James hmm's in response.

"We broke another rule," Logan mumbles. But the lips that start traveling across James' throat makes him believe that Logan really doesn't care.

James can only grin.

Rule Five: Don't Break Anything

Later when they've both showered Logan surveys the damage done. The refrigerator door is smudged, cups of pudding still sitting out on the countertop next to it. That can be fixed and the door can be cleaned but the other parts of the house—not so much.

The media room isn't that bad. There's popcorn littering the floor where one of them must have knocked it over in their haste to get out and take each other's clothes off, and he's sure that's his underwear lying across the lamp by the door. He blushes at that and makes a hasty retreat to the living room.

Logan is almost afraid to see the damage done to the couch. The area rug is bunched up and one corner is flipped over. Clothes are strewn about haphazardly. Logan tentatively takes a few steps closer to the couch where he knows he's not going to like what he sees. And he's right. There, on the back of the couch, in plain sight, is a cum stain. It's obvious that it's fresh, and Logan is already plotting ways to smother James in his sleep.

Said person comes into the room at that moment. He's toweling off his hair in just a pair of jeans and no socks or shoes. Normally Logan would jump at the chance to ravish James when he's like this but his ass is still sore and he's got bruises already forming on his hips and there's a bite mark just below the collar of his shirt and he wants to absolutely throttle James.

"What's wrong?"

Logan scoffs as he points to the stain on the forty-thousand dollar couch. James winces but doesn't seem to care much. Logan rolls his eyes and James comes closer, tossing his wet towel in the general direction of the bathroom.

"We ruined Gustavo's couch. He's going to murder us and you don't seem to care." Logan's bottom lip pokes out in a not-pout and James stifles a laugh as he drags Logan close with an arm around his waist.

Logan tries to break free of the hold James has on him but like always he just can't seem to do that. Instead he lets James walk them backwards towards the hallway where he knows, somewhere past all the doors, is a hot tub. And James' intent is obvious on his face. Logan smacks James on the arm but that doesn't faze James at all.

"James! We have to fix the couch! Now stop messing around and-" Logan's words are cut off as a loud crash sounds behind them.

They both freeze and James lets go of Logan, spinning around fast to see the damage done. Logan sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. There, on the floor in several pieces, is one of Gustavo's most expensive statues. James is standing next to it wide-eyed and completely silent.

"We are so dead."

So, um, reviews? Please?