Note to my lovely readers: I think this is the logical end to this story. I will continue this Kate and Rick from here soon. I haven't decided how to do that yet, but I will. There is no way that I will be sitting at my mother-in-law's house for days and not write. What I would give for her to have internet service!

Anyway, thank you for reading. This has been my first attempt at fiction in 7 years. Thanks to all who have sent reviews, comments, and questions. If you have a suggestion, feel free to make it, but realize most of the decisions I make are just that. They are a conscious choice. However, some of you have inspired some of the little details found here.

BTW: I don't own Castle. Blah, blah, blah…AM is that genius, not me.

Kate looks at the floor. "Oh, God, I did, didn't I?" It finally sunk in. All this time Kate had been focused on how her shooting had taken over her life. But, what about those people who keep reaching out to her every day? As Alexis had pointed out, Rick was not the only one left terrified by her injury. He wasn't the only she left behind to heal in isolation either.

"Guilt can make you feel weighed down and tired. Kate, seek forgiveness from them and from yourself. You will find that your body has been running on adrenaline for so long that it may take you a few months of crashing every day to catch up. But, before you know it you will be happier and healthier than you can remember being. Go home, Kate. Go home."

She did.

He Said Start at the Beginning Chapter 23

Castle's Loft Early Evening Monday

Alexis believed she was the first in as there were no lights on, but as she put her book bag down, she noticed the feet propped on the edge of the couch. She peered over the top to find a sleeping Beckett. She looked peaceful with the exception of the hand clasped over where the bullet-hole would have been. She snored lightly. The girl watched her for a moment before realizing she must be doing that "creepy Castle stare" her dad told her that Kate complained about. She found a blanket out of a closet and tossed it across Kate. She immediately rolled to her side and murmured contentedly in her sleep. Alexis smiled. She had never seen Kate looking this comfortable anywhere ever. She turned on a table lamp across from the couch, and grabbed her copy of Chretien de Troyes' Arthurian Romances. She decided to watch over Kate so that no one could disturb her sleep. Instead, Alexis would allow Perceval to continue on his quest for the grail while she waited for everyone to get home.

If Alexis were honest, she would admit she spent as much time studying Kate as she did her homework. The dark circles under her eyes had become pronounced in the last two weeks, but the familiar strain that was always in Kate's face was absent.

After an hour, Alexis grew tired of her chair and moved to the space just above Kate's head on the couch. She went back to reading her homework. When Rick finally came in the door with dinner, Alexis immediately turned to him in the universal shushing sign of the finger across the lips. Rick put the bags of Styrofoam take out containers on the table and walked over to the couch. Alexis had been lovingly stroking some of Kate's hair as she slept. Father and daughter shared a meaningful smile. Rick took out his phone and snapped a picture of this intimate moment between his lover and daughter.

Rick went to the kitchen for their drinks and plates. He arranged the meal and sent a text to his mother warning her of sleeping beauty on the couch. For the first time in ages, the Castle house had a silent meal, but it was a surprisingly happy one. It reminded Rick of all those times he and his mother had shared a silent meal while watching Alexis sleep. The names and positions had changed, but it was no less enjoyable. After the meal was put away, and the dishes were in the washer. Rick moved to the couch where he could play pillow while read. Alexis assumed a new position with Kate's feet in her lap.

Kate finally stirred just before midnight.

"Hey, sleepy head. " Rick looked down at his lover and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

"Hey." She started to sit up and then realized she had to carefully remove her feet from the lap of a sleeping teenager. She careful extricated herself and curled up closer to Rick.

"What did I miss?" She whispered as she sat up and stretched, and then waited for him to fill her in on what happened at the precinct after she abruptly left.

"That depends, are you going to tell me where you disappeared to?"

"Rick, I went to see Dr. Burke again. Yes, I keep going to see him a lot. But, I just couldn't get the images of those dead girls out of my head. I couldn't focus. How many times did I snap at you for startling me by sitting up in your chair? I was getting more on edge as the day went on so I went into see Gates and told her I needed to see my doctor. She told me to take the rest of the week off without a pause. Either she is worried about me or Burke has kept her apprised of how often I have had to see him in the last month. I don't know which, but I am grateful either way." She stopped talking for a moment and then continued. "I am sorry for the cryptic message. I just needed to do this alone."

Rick wrapped an arm around her pulling her in closer.

"When you said you needed a little space and would see me this evening, I didn't worry much. But, if you hadn't been here when I came in, I can't say how I would have reacted. Are you hungry; I have some awesome chicken and shrimp Alfredo waiting for you."

She nodded and he helped her up. They sat at the table where he watched her eat and shared a few glasses of wine. While she put away her dirty dishes, he carried Alexis to bed.

"Where's Martha?" Kate asked as he came back down the stairs.

"A friend of hers invited her acting class to come visit a performance. If I know mother, we will see her tomorrow." Kate shook her head. Martha and her adventures never ceased to amaze.

Rick's Bed 3am

Kate enjoyed the feel of his skin next to hers. It didn't get old. With her head on his bare chest and their legs still entwined, she cleared her throat and turned to face him. She could still see where her gingers had been clutching his hair minutes ago.

"I shouldn't have shut all of you out. I know that now. When I went to the cabin, I kept all of you away. I kept you from caring for me. You, Alexis and Martha needed to help me mend as much as I needed all of you to bring me back from the rabbit hole. When I chose to try to find my way by myself, I robbed all of you of something special. I shouldn't have done that. I am sorry."

Rick pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I hope you learned enough to not repeat the mistake."

"I am trying." She replied with a small nod.

He smiled at her. "You may already be doing better than you think." He reached over to the edge of the bed and grabbed his phone. He pulled up the picture he had taken of Alexis caressing Kate's hair in her sleep.

Kate's eyes grew wide and she had to fight back tears for a moment.

"I guess Alexis might be over hating the idea of me being here."

"I don't think she ever hated the idea. I think she worried that we wouldn't be enough." Rick said quietly.

"It's enough Rick; it's all I could possibly need and then some." The smile fell from his face for a moment.

"In that case, what do you want to do for the rest of the week since you're not working?"

She gave him a confused look. He obviously wanted to ask something else, but he didn't.

"I have a few ideas. More of this is definitely on this list." She said giving him another soft kiss on the lips.

"Nice attempt to distract me. Seriously, you, Kate Beckett, have no idea what you want to do in the next 4 days of not working." Rick gave her an irritated look. He was after something specific; but what?

She rolled off of him and onto her back and threw one of her arms over her eyes in exasperation. "I didn't realize you wanted a list. Yes, I have a few ideas. I thought we would make love a few thousand times all over this apartment while no one is home. I thought maybe we could go retrieve a lot more of my clothing since I so rarely visit it and we need to get the rest of my make-up. I only brought what I might need for work. I didn't consider what I might need if we went to dinner. And, shoes. I need more of my shoes and boots here. I want us to have lunch with my dad and eat lunch in the park. I want us to go meet Alexis after school one day and do something fun. I don't know Rick, what is it that you want me to say?"

If she had been watching his face rather than hiding, she would have seen his face soften as soon as she began her list. Nearly every statement had a we in it. He moved her arm aside to find her eyes were closed and small tears were spilling. He began to kiss them away as the passion started again.

Private Airfield Noon Thursday

Kate and Rick watched as the Chinese girls were escorted on to their private plane by a plain clothed Chinese security team. Rick had called a friend to find out about the departure; the embassy had gone to great lengths to keep the NYPD at a distance. The couple stood by their town car and didn't try to approach any of the girls, Kate just needed to see them leaving for safety. As the last girl was helped up the ramp by one of the security team, she noticed his arm went around the girl as he half carried her up the stairs to the plane. When they were at the top of the stairs waiting for their turn to board, the man removed his coat and wrapped it around the girl who seemed to be hugging herself as if she was cold.

Kate and the security guard's eyes met for a brief second. She nodded and waved goodbye. He touched his daughter's arm and said something to her. Together, they both turned and waved back before boarding

Kate and Rick got back in their waiting town car.

"Rick, let's go home."