Title: Five Ways To Kiss Mistletoe Goodbye
Pairing: McGee/Ziva
Rating: FR15
Genre: Humor, Romance
Cat: Het
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: None.
Summary: McGee and Ziva discover the most difficult thing about working during the holiday season: Avoiding the mistletoe.
Author's Note: So I had a random dream yesterday morning (yes, this is how I get like 30% of my story ideas) of a 5 things McGiva mistletoe fic. So I wrote it. Cool story. ;)

I.

"We better keep an eye out once we get down to Abby's lab," McGee said to Ziva as the elevator doors closed.

Ziva gave him a sidelong look. "Why? Is she back to booby trapping the entrance with bubble wrap?"

McGee smiled. "No, Ziva. Think about what time of year it is."

"It is December," she said, not comprehending the importance of the month in relation to Abby's lab.

"Yeah, and that means Christmas," he said as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. They stepped off and headed for the lab, Ziva looking confused.

"I know Abby likes to decorate for the holidays, but what is the big. . ."

"Stop right there!"

Both Ziva and McGee froze at Abby's words, and her mouth turned up into a sneaky smirk.

"I do not follow. . ." Ziva murmured to McGee, while he glared at Abby.

"I do," he muttered, glancing up.

Ziva followed his gaze and her eyes widened slightly when she saw the sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorframe. "Oh," she said softly, then looked back to Abby, who was still grinning.

"You know what to do now," she said, and waited for them to kiss.

Ziva shrugged and leaned up, pressing a kiss to McGee's cheek, then turned back to Abby, who looked disappointed.

"That was a kiss, was it not?" Ziva asked, and McGee grinned, stepping into the lab and past the slightly annoyed Goth.

"Whatcha got for us, Abbs?"

II.

A few days later, they were sent to question some possible witnesses in an investigation. The investigation led them to the office building of a small company out of Falls Church.

McGee stepped from the car, slamming his door shut and glancing over at Ziva, who did the same from the passenger side. "I think we should be safe from the holiday antics here," he commented, as Ziva chuckled.

"Afraid you will have to kiss me, McGee?" she asked, circling the car and meeting him as they walked to the building.

"Just concerned about doing my job, Ziva," he said, and she laughed again.

He reached the door before her and held it open for her, leaving her to raise an eyebrow at him before stepping through and into the reception area. They stepped up to the reception desk and asked for their witness, flashing their IDs to the flustered secretary, who pointed them down a hallway.

They returned about 20 minutes later, and as they passed by the reception desk again, the woman from earlier cleared her throat. They turned back, thinking she may have information on their case, but she simply smiled at them.

"Ma'am?" McGee asked, and she pointed at the ceiling above their heads, and he smiled at her. "Ah, sorry, we're federal agents, here in a strictly professional capacity."

"McGee," Ziva chided, nudging him in the side. "The least we can do is indulge the woman."

He rolled his eyes and leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek, whispering in her ear, "We're gonna need to get more creative here."

He pulled back and Ziva grinned at him. "I have a few ideas. . ."

III.

The next mistletoe incident hit while the pair was on a coffee run. They were standing at the counter, waiting for Tony's ridiculously complicated order, when the barista spoke.

"You know we have a policy regarding mistletoe."

McGee and Ziva shared a look, unbelieving that they had someone gotten themselves in this situation yet again. McGee then turned back to the barista. "Yeah? What's that?"

She grinned at them. "A kiss will get you a free black coffee."

McGee turned back to Ziva, raising an eyebrow as a question of if she wanted to go through with it. She grinned at him. Apparently she had a plan.

Ziva glanced at the barista before pressing a kiss to her fingertips, then placing them on McGee's lips, leaving him looking confused and the barista annoyed as she filled up and slid a cup of black coffee over the counter.

"Have a nice day," she said, her tone flat.

Ziva smiled as McGee picked up the tray of coffees and followed her out of the coffee shop. "How was that for creative?"

IV.

The next week, McGee and Ziva were out talking to a lieutenant's wife at her home. As they pulled into the driveway, McGee let out a breath as he turned off the car.

"Looks like we'll escape the mistletoe treatment here," he said, and Ziva laughed at him.

"You are thinking far too much about this, McGee." She pushed her door open and stepped out, taking in the elegant garland and wreaths decorating the otherwise clean house. She joined him as they walked up the sidewalk to the front door. "Would it really be such a bad thing if you had to kiss me?"

He glanced at her as he pressed the doorbell. "I should be the one asking you that," he muttered, and Ziva stepped closer to him.

"I can honestly say I would not mind," she said quietly, and he turned to respond to her, but just then, the door opened.

"How may I help you?" the woman on the other side asked, and McGee let out a breath, happy for the interruption.

"I'm Agent McGee and this is Agent David," he introduced, and they flashed their badges at her. . .

. . . "Thank you for your time," Ziva said about 45 minutes later as they stood up to head out.

"Oh, let me walk you out," the lieutenant's wife said, leading them to the door. She stopped once they got there and Ziva thought she had perhaps remembered something else.

"Ma'am?" she asked.

The wife leaned in. "You're standing under the mistletoe," she whispered, and Ziva could see McGee starting to roll his eyes. She turned to him.

"Oh, really?"

Before Ziva could embarrass them both, McGee grabbed one of her hands and lifted it to his mouth, pressing a kiss solidly to the back of it. He gave her a dirty look as he released her hand and she smirked at him.

The holiday season wasn't over yet. . .

V.

Ziva hung up her phone and looked over to McGee. "Abby has something and would like for us to come down."

"I'll be right there," McGee said, not looking up from his computer.

"I will wait," Ziva said, and stood in front of her desk, watching him.

He looked up at her, she smiled back at him, and he let out a sigh. "I guess I can't avoid it. Maybe she won't notice." He got up and walked toward the elevator, Ziva joining him as he walked past her.

"Or perhaps we can just do what she wants," she said as they stepped into the elevator.

McGee grumbled to himself, stabbing the button for Abby's level, and Ziva grinned.

A few minutes later, they arrived at Abby's lab, and McGee hesitated, causing Ziva to roll her eyes and grab his hand, pulling him toward the lab with her.

"Abby, we are here," she announced before they stepped into the lab, and McGee reached over, pinching her on the arm. "Ow!" she cried out, then turned to him. "I could break your hand right now, Timothy."

"Sorry," he muttered, though he clearly wasn't. Ziva simply huffed and turned back to Abby, who was looking at them expectantly.

"There are only two more days until Christmas," Abby said, flipping up two fingers into a peace sign, though she looked far from someone willing to come to a peaceful compromise. "And you two have skirted around the correct mistletoe procedure every time you've come down here. Quite frankly, I have had enough."

"Abby, it's a silly tradition," McGee said, and Abby shot a glare in his direction. He swallowed and added, "That I am all too happy to indulge you in."

"Oh, McGee," Ziva said, grabbing his face in her hands and preparing to plant a kiss on his cheek, to shut him up and make Abby happy.

"That is not. . ." Abby started, but as Ziva brought her lips to McGee's cheek, he turned his head, and she ended up kissing him on the lips.

At first, they were both shocked, but then emotion took over and they both sank into the kiss, McGee bringing his hands up to cup Ziva's head as he returned the kiss with passion.

Abby simply stared at her two friends, now fully making out in the doorway of her lab, and finished her original thought. "Playing by the rules. Wow." She blinked, and when she saw McGee's hand wandering down Ziva's side, toward her backside, she decided to break things up before it got R-rated.

"Okay, time to get back to work," she said, cupping her hands around her mouth. They continued to ignore her, Ziva even going so far as to give her a rude hand gesture, so Abby brought out the big guns. "Or I could call Gibbs down here."

They pulled away from each other immediately. Ziva looked like she'd just had sex, and McGee looked completely dazed, a goofy smile making its way across his face. Abby gave them a pointed look. "Results?"

"Of course, Abby," Ziva said, though she looked like she wanted to get back to her prior activities.

They followed Abby over to her station and listened to her ramble off what she'd discovered, then headed off to inform Gibbs of the news, Ziva's hand making its way toward McGee's butt as they exited. Abby shook her head as McGee halfheartedly attempted to intercept her hand, and she headed for the doorway of her lab, reaching up and untacking the holiday plant, a devious glint in her eye.

"Mission accomplished."

THE END!