Five Years Later
A/N: I know I have started a new story "Living With Fear" but I have like five chapter done for that one... And I need to put up a new chapter for "Hold On" but i'm losing inspiration for that one so I don't know... On to this one. This one just wouldn't leave my head and I decided to use my new laptop to do that one... (: Enough of my babbling.
Summary: It has been five years since Elliot left Special Victims. Now, all of a sudden, he returns to New York and sees that everyone has moved on with their lives, but him. How will he deal with everything he is about to find out?
Chapter One:
Elliot Stabler made his way up the threesteps of the porch of the house he is so familiar with, but after five years of not seeing it, he can see a major difference in it. It has been five years. Yes, five long years, and he thinks he is okay now.
He can't believe it has been that long since he last saw his family – his kids and, now, ex-wife. It has been five years since he last saw his close friends that were like family to him – Fin, Munch, Don, and most importantly, it has been five years since he last saw her.
How is she doing? Is she okay? Does she still work at Special Victims? If so, then what is her new partner like? Does he have her back like he used to have hers before his sudden departure? Does she miss him? Does she look back at the times when they were partners and best friends? Is she finally seeing someone? Is he nice? Does he treat her like she deserves to be treated?
So many questions are buzzing in his mind, like angry wasps, that need to be answered, but first, he needs to see his children... If they were even with Kathy. His children are all grown up, except for Eli, and he wonders how each and every one of them may be doing. Maureen and Kathleen were living on their own when he left; Dickie and Lizzie were freshmen in high school, so now they must be freshmen in college; and last but not least, Little Eli was left at four years old by him. How is his little boy doing? Does he remember his daddy?
Inhaling deeply, Elliot brings his knuckles up and knocks on the door. He hears several voices and loud movements from the other side. A minute later, the door is opened by a young teenage boy with reddish brown hair and midnight blue eyes. The boy is about two, three, maybe even four inches shorter than Elliot, and does not appear older than the age fourteen.
"Uh, how can I help you, sir?" The boy's voice cracks, signifying that he is going through puberty. He also speaks with an accent... An English accent, Elliot realizes.
"Is Kathy home?" Now Elliot is unsure if Kathy lives there anymore since this unfamiliar boy answered the door.
Right as his question leaves his mouth, a blond woman – in her forties – walks up from behind the boy with reddish brown hair, but does not notice Elliot yet. "Dillon, who is-?" her eyes grow wide once she sees Elliot standing there. She is speechless, Elliot can tell she is. Any second now, she is going to explode. "Go check on your brother, Dillon." she tells the young man, calmly, before looking back at Elliot.
Elliot watches the teenager, named Dillon, turn around and climb up the stairs that are oh-so familiar to him. He looks at Kathy, his ex-wife, as she moves to the side, letting him enter what used to be his home as well.
"Kathy-," Elliot beings but is cut off.
"What are you doing here?" she asks softly as she wraps her arms around herself when they sit down on a sofa he does not recognize.
Elliot sighs and shifts on the sofa, getting a little comfortable. "I came to see my son." he simply says, but apparently that is not the answer she wants to hear.
Kathy shakes her head in disbelief and scoffs, "It took you five years to come back... You have some nerve, Elliot."
"I know what I did is unacceptable, and you have every right to be upset with me, but please," he sucks in a deep breath, "I want to see my little boy." he pleads.
Kathy runs her fingers though her gold locks before nodding, "He isn't so little anymore, Elliot," she chuckles before becoming serious again, "But this conversation is far from over." she says sternly.
Elliot nods, "He's about nine, right?"
Kathy nods once more, "Yes, you missed his fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth birthday." she says a bit too harshly. Eli's birthday was three months back, and every year he wishes for the exact same thing. "Every year, he wishes for his daddy to come home," she informs him before getting up and heads towards the stairs, "Dillon is helping him with his homework right now, then he is off to bed."
"I'm so sorry." he is referring to Eli who had wished for him to come home every year. He feels disgusted with himself by being a coward and running away from everything and everyone. "Who is Dillon?" he asks as they walk down the hall.
"Apologize to him – not me" she pauses as they reach the door to Eli's bedroom and looks up at Elliot, "Do you remember Jane?" she waits for him to nod or shake his head. Once he nods, she continues, "That's her son – my nephew. She and her husband, William, were in a car accident that took their lives three years ago. He was sent from England to live with me a few weeks before he turned eleven."
That explains the boy's English accent, Elliot concludes. The boy lost both his parents at such a young age. That gets him thinking. What if something had happened to Kathy while he was hiding out in Utah? Everyone had lost contact with him after a few months because he had gotten rid of every way possible to contact with him. It was like he fell off the face of the earth. So, if something happened to Kathy, then where would Eli go? Elliot never thought about that. Kathy's only sister lived in England, who then died, and her only brother was deployed overseas. Her parents and his mother were in a retirement home. Elliot and Kathy's older children? Would Maureen or Kathleen take him? And Elliot's siblings probably wouldn't want to another kid with in their home. But family is family, though; he had walked out on his.
Kathy opens the door to the fourth grader's bedroom. She pokes her head in and sees Dillon helping Eli with his homework. Both boys knew that they are not brothers, but they had gotten so close that even Dillon started calling Kathy "mum", "mother", and sometimes even "mummy". Dillon would never forget his biological parents that had raised him for the first ten, almost eleven, years of his life.
Eli looks up from his math worksheet and smiles at his mother. "What's up, mom?" he sits up on his knees, and so does Dillon.
"Someone is here to see you, Eli." she sounds nervous, and that does not go unnoticed by both boys. Eli glances over at Dillon, who shrugs. Eli nods and opens the door all the way. First, first he just sees his mother, so he thinks that the guest is downstairs in the living area, then he sees a figure standing around the corner. He can't quite tell who it is. He furrows his brow, then looks up at Kathy and begins to walk down the hall. When he rounds the corner, he gasps.
Elliot, nervously, kneels down and slowly puts his arms around the young boy. He doesn't feel Eli return the embrace until a moment later. He feels hot tears seep into his gray tee shirt, and he can't help but let his tears fall, too. Elliot doesn't know what words to say to his little boy so he remains silent with his arms around Eli. It feels good having him in his arms because in his arms Elliot feels that Eli is safe.
"Why did you leave us?" Eli pulls back just enough to look at Elliot in the eyes. Same blue eyes stare into the other. His cheeks are flushed and tear-stained but more tears continue to fall. "Did we do something wrong-g? Is th-that why you left u-us?" he buried his face in his father's shoulder.
Elliot looks up at Kathy, who had her arms around Dillon. Elliot looks down at his son and buries his nose in his son's dark brown hair. "No, Eli," he whispers, "You guys didn't do anything, buddy."
"Th-then why'd you leave?" his question is muffled by Elliot's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Eli." Elliot picks him up as he rises up to his feet. "I missed you so much." he avoids the question because it is best for a nine-year-old not to know the reason why he left in the first place.
"Eli, go finish up your homework, and let me talk to your daddy, okay?" Kathy tries to pry Eli away, but the boy just holds on tighter to Elliot.
Elliot pats Eli's back, "Come one, bud, I am going to be here when you're done." he assures Eli.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Eli and Dillon walk back to Eli's room to finish up his homework.
Elliot and Kathy go back downstairs to the living room, sitting down on the sofa they sat in earlier.
"So, how are the other kids?" he asks her after a moment of awkward silence. He is really curious as to what his older children are up to.
Kathy smiles, proudly, at the thought of her children. "Maureen got engaged to Nathan last year. She majored in criminology as did Kathleen." Kathleen recently graduated and is out looking for a place to hire her in that field. "Lizzie received a scholarship." She knows she has to tell him about their eldest son, Dickie. But how? Apparently she takes too long because Elliot asks about Dickie. She hesitates and looks down, "Richard should be home soon." She sighs. "He… He's a senior in high school." She sees how Elliot's smile quickly disappears.
Elliot is in shock. "He's a senior in high school? He's supposed to be a freshman like Lizzie." He shakes his head. "What happened?"
"He…When you left he went in to some depression, you could say. He was making bad choices, like, he had turned to cigarettes – he quit, just letting you know." She sighs and looks over at the graduation picture of Lizzie. "He stopped doing his work and failed his freshman year of high school. He acted as if he didn't care if he graduated high school or not. He didn't have a motivation, he told Maureen that. He said 'if dad feels like he can quit and leave, then I'll follow his footsteps.' he was planning on dropping out of high school. He didn't just change emotionally; he changed physically. He lost weight – a little too much – and he rarely slept; he had dark shadows under his eyes all the time; he was almost never hungry; he didn't smile much – this was such a huge problem, Elliot, but we got him help. He spoke to a therapist – he still does – and he came to the realization that doing what he was doing wasn't going to go around to you and make you come back.
"He told me last year that if he acted the way he did, then you'll find out and come back to yell at him; scold him; punish him, and so on. He just wanted his father back, and I'm sorry if this makes you feel bad, Elliot."
Elliot nods and forces the tears back. "Where is he now?" he asks. He feels much worse than he already had. His son had failed the ninth grade because of him! His son wanted to drop out of high school because of him! His son turned to cigarettes, why? Oh, yes, because of him!
"He should be walking through the door any minute now. He is tutoring two eighth graders with science – his strongest subject. Ever since he received a little help for his depression, he started to volunteer more. He loves helping out the younger children – especially those with down-syndrome. Despite his problem when he was fourteen and fifteen, I'm really proud of what he's become. He's a good man, Elliot." She smiles and the front door opens.
"Ma, I'm home." The male voice yells as he walks to the kitchen to get a snack.
Elliot notices how different Dickie's voice is now than when he was fourteen. Puberty. His son is all grown up, and Elliot smiles, but he knows he's going to have to deal with the young man now. Will he be angry?
"Dickie –."
She is cut off my Dickie, who is still in the kitchen, rummaging through the pantry. "It's Richard, mom." He laughs. "We discussed this already. I'm nineteen – an adult – I can't go by some baby name anymore." He says then lets out an "Ah-Ha!" meaning he found something to eat.
Kathy chuckles and shakes her head, "Alright, Richard but always remember, that you will always be my little boy. You could be thirty for all I care and I will still call you my baby." She and Elliot hear the man groan and laugh.
That laugh makes Elliot's heart swell. It has been so long.
"So are the boo –." He stops himself from talking once he walked into the living room. He drops his box of crackers and stares wide-eyed at the man before him. He looks over at his mother; his mouth is partly open in shock.
"Dickie.."
"It's Richard." Dickie spat, angrily.
"Okay then, Richard…"
"What are you doing here?" he glares at Elliot. If looks could kill, Elliot would probably be dead by now. "Why are you here?"
"I came to see my family, Richard –." Elliot tries to talk to his son, but Dickie keeps cutting him off.
Dickie shakes head in disbelief, "You lost your family when you walked out on us five years ago. Five years later you think you can just show up out of the blue?" he chuckles darkly. "You think you can show up when you feel like it? Why now? Why not…. Why leave at all? Whatever the hell you were going through, we could have helped you! We were your damn family!" he yells and throws his hands up in air as he paces the room. He runs his hand through his dark hair, looking much like his father.
Elliot tries to say something again, but Dickie continues, "No. Don't say a word. Let me process the fact that my father is now sitting right in front of me… Somewhere where I needed him to be my whole high school career." He lets out a sarcastic laugh. "We went through hell without you here. Eli constantly asked where daddy was. The girls needed their damn father – their protector. I was there for them when you weren't and this started when I was fifteen! I had to grow up at fifteen and be the man of the house!" he punches the wall and Kathy flinches. "That's why I got the help I needed after I failed ninth grade – to help my family. I would be the shoulder the girls would cry on; I would be the one that taught Eli the basics of football; I would be the one to help him out with his homework when mom couldn't…. I became his hero." He is done yelling at his father and walks out the back door through the kitchen.
"Go talk to him, Elliot." Kathy tells him softly as she walks over to the stairs to check on Eli and Dillon to see how much of the homework they got done.
Elliot nods and goes after Dickie. He opens the back door and sees Dickie sitting on one of the steps with a cigarette in his mouth. He frowns, but he can't do anything about it. Dickie is past the legal age to smoke, so he has to let his son do as he wishes.
"I haven't had one of these since I was fifteen." Dickie says softly as he takes another drag of his cigarette. "It takes the pain away but only temporarily. I would smoke just to make me feel better… A little numb, I guess." He laughs and looks at Elliot, who has taken himself to sit next to him. "Why are you back?"
It doesn't go unnoticed by Elliot that Dickie hasn't called him "dad". "I told you, Dickie… er… Richard, I wanted to see you guys."
"But why now? Why did you wait so long?" he asks as he puts out the cancer stick.
Elliot sighs, "I… I don't know, son." He rests his elbows on his knees and hangs his head, in shame. "I just needed to get away from everything… everyone…"
"What happened at work, dad?"
Hearing that d work makes him smile just the tiniest bit.
"There was a shooting… A girl came in with a gun and began to shoot the guy that killed her mother. She got carried away and began shooting everything in sight… She shot a friend, Sister Peg, and I had to stop her. I… I shot her and… and… it killed her. I killed her."
"But dad, you saved several other lives!" Dickie argues. "What if she…" he stops himself from talking.
"What if she, what?" he wants his son to continue.
"What if she shot Liv?"
And there it is. That very question has been in his head ever since the shooting. What if Jenna did shoot her? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that were to happen, knowing that he could have done something to prevent it.
"I know…" he whispers. "But the guilt eats me alive… She had a whole future ahead of her and I took it away," He closes his eyes to prevent himself from crying, "Like that," he snaps his fingers quickly.
Dickie sighs, "Well, I'm not going to say I'm glad she's dead, but I'm glad you stopped her from possibly hurting Liv… because if she got shot, and God forbid, killed her – Nickolas and Leah wouldn't even be here and have an amazing woman as their mother…"
"WHAT?"
"You haven't seen her?" Dickie asks.
"No! She had kids?"
"Well… yeah… Nickolas is three and Leah is one."
"How did this happen?"
Dickie chuckles, "Well, you see, dad, it all started when a man and a woman –."
"I know how it happened. But… But…"
"She got married, dad."
A/N: Dun. Dun. Dun. Yes, I did it.
Up next (if you want me to continue) : Olivia comes into the story and we meet her family! Will she run into Elliot? Does she still work at Special Victims? Are Nick and Amanda going to make to make an appearance? Will Elliot be returning to SVU or is he still not ready for that yet?
*works on chapter two*
Review! You know you want to (: