First actual one-shot!

Thanks to The Almighty Authoress for Beta-ing! I do not own IZ, nor really wish to. It is much safer in the hands of Jhonen, so I'm not going to steal it.

The base with the neon green glow was quiet except for a gentle hum. No explosions or death threats, all was more-or-less... peaceful. Dib sat at a computer console in one of the magenta-ish labs below, typing out a plan for Zim.

The previously-mentioned alien slipped silently into the lab, sneaking up on his human. "Dib-stink." He breathed, running his clawed hands over the teenager's long black scythe-like cowlick.

The cowlick had once confused Zim, so very long ago. It looked almost like a single lekku, not to mention having a similar effect on the boy when it was stroked, yet Dib couldn't hear or smell from it. That was what the "earz" and "nose" were for.

"Mmm?" Dib questioned, not taking his half-lidded eyes from the screen.

"I don't think I want to invade all of this pathetic dirt ball anymore. I think I only want one hyuman city-thing."

"That wouldn't be too smart, Zim. The rest of the humans would probably come after you. Then where would we be?" Dib saved his progress, knowing he wouldn't get much farther tonight.

"Hmm... Half a city then?" Zim moved out of the way so Dib could turn the chair, who did so.

Dib shook his head. "Na. Same deal, only with more humans to attempt to kill you."

Zim scoffed, crossing his arms and looking away. "Like THAT would be possible. Zim is too advanced to be conquered by the likes of the pig-stink filth." He gauged Dib's response with a twitch of his antennae.

Dib noted the use of the word "the" instead of "you" with a mental smile. "I see."

"How about ten people?" Zim dropped his pose.

"Mmm..." Dib worried a lip in thought. "Na."

"Five, maybe?" Zim said, moving to straddle the younger male's lap.

"Someone would still make a fuss."

"What 'bout... one crazy one?" Zim moved his face closer to Dib's with a semi-sadistic smile.

"I don't think anyone would mind." Dib chuckled.