Ah…my belated promise to my dear readers of In Training…

My words are not all empty; what did you expect when I said I'd give you guys "instant gratification," the emphasis not on instant?

Anyways, I talk much too much. Welcome new and old readers. I bring you: Housebroken.

Y'all deserve it. You guys inspired me to write enough chapters to create a whole new sequel. I mean, I had to write one chapter dedicated to each of you reviewers, right?

Enjoy.

thir13enth

This chapter is dedicated to…no one. It's just the intro. No one wants dedication-ownership of a boring intro. :( Perhaps one will want to adopt it?

Although Roy Mustang was now getting a perfectly good steak every other night, which was definitely a step up from before, Mustang still thought there was something missing.

"Ah yes, you good boy, you good good boy!" he heard Hawkeye coo behind him.

Turning his head, he tested his predictions and sure enough, there was that damn dog again.

In Hawkeye's arms. Where he should be. Being called 'cute' and 'good' and all.

Technically he was in a relationship with Hawkeye, but it sure didn't feel like it. Ay, she was just so difficult when it came to sentiments.

Guns and all.

Mustang finally spoke up. Whipping his head back to face the dog and female, he said, "Why does Hayate get special treatment?"

His question broke the cute-dog scene immediately, and he felt Hawkeye's glare back at him shatter glass.

"Well…he's my dog."

Mustang believed this to be absurd. Again with the competition against the damn dog?

Hayate stuck out his tongue. Mustang narrowed his eyes at the canine.

"You're giving Hayate an odd look again, Colonel."

"And that's another thing, Lieuten—Riza," he corrected. "You can call me by my name now. We're practically together."

"Then what was the problem?"

"I just…" and Mustang let out an exasperated sigh. "I just wish that you'd be more expressive, I guess. Well no, I mean, I just want to feel like I'm in a relationship—not that I'm not in one, but like…I don't know? Something to show off? Something that tells the world we're together?"

"I'm your subordinate. Colonel," she replied smoothly. "Fraternization."

"Okay, I don't mean that, I mean," and Mustang tried to think of the words. "I mean, I want to know for myself that you love me. I want to know that this relationship isn't just in my head."

She gave him a gentle rare smile.

"I think you know me better than to think that our relationship isn't just a fantasy."

Mustang couldn't help but crack a smile with her. God, that smile was too precious.

The dog ruined the moment, snorting as if in disgust. Or, at least Mustang interpreted it in that way.

"But you treat Hayate better," Mustang grumbled, just loud enough for Hawkeye to hear.

Her eyebrow raised and he answered promptly.

"He has a comfy and cushiony bed when he gets here, and you just push me off the bed so that I have to sleep on the cold hard floor!"

Hawkeye's forehead furrowed. "Well the last time you got into my bed—"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm forever sorry for that!" Mustang corrected, using his hands as a shield, which remind him of something else. "And you use the gun threat on me more than you do on him!"

Hawkeye didn't seem to understand the complaint, having always learned that pulling out a revolver was the best way to make demands.

"Well…I trust Hayate more," she finally said.

Mustang couldn't even respond to that, eyes open in disbelief. He knew that he didn't get all his work done most of the time….but this was just—

"I trust you both very much," Hawkeye said, putting Hayate down on the ground and putting her hands on her hips. "But there are some places where Hayate is more qualified than you are."

Mustang looked down in shame, and then his eyes caught Hayate's mocking eyes.

Another competition between you and me, huh?, Mustang thought, and the dog's stuck out tongue said it all.

"Like what," Mustang asked.

It took Hawkeye only a second to respond.

"Unlike you, Hayate…"

I'd ask for reviews, but it's a bit early to ask for that. In any case, any feedback or anger at my very very overdue update? Anyone want to adopt this orphan chapter (if so, let me know and I'll send you the forms)?

Also, I can't guarantee speedy installments. You guys are going to have to point guns at me. Let me run away in the meantime.

thir13enth