Title: Adamantine

Author: Eliways

Franchise: Naruto

Summary: As a female, she is weak. As a girl, she is delicate. As a shinobi, she is weak. But she will not be defined by those characteristics. Not anymore. Sakura-centric.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: This title of this chapter is inspired by J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, which is really thought-provoking. Not gonna lie, it sure as hell wasn't my favourite book, but I learnt a lot from it.

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It had been after the Chuunin Exams when Team 7 was sent on another mission. Sakura's hair had started to grow longer, and she had taken a kunai and sliced it off, till it was as short as the time when she had cut it in the Forest of Death. She had long decided that appearances did not matter in the Shinobi World. Sure, she still harboured feelings for Sasuke, but had realized that she had also grown to love him as a friend, and as a person.

Whenever Team 7 went out on missions, and came in proximity of a female (no matter the age), they would immediately ogle at Sasuke's good looks (and maybe Kakashi-sensei's, but you could never really tell with the stupid mask) before looking toward the rest of the team and giving them looks of condescension (most of the time, anyway), as though saying 'Why is he travelling with you?' When Sakura had still been too dazed and infatuated with him, she had been furious, but had agreed with them.

During their days in the Academy, Sasuke had attracted his fair share of fan girls, and Sakura had unknowingly turned into one. However, she felt that her relationship with Sasuke had an almost imperceptible change from the day she met him till present. Girls were attracted to him because of his looks, but would push him away when they really got to know him. He was irritable, arrogant, and not a good person to be around.

But if you stuck with him long enough, you would be able to see a side of him which he rarely displayed to other people. You would see that he had good intentions, and was not the emotionless boy he pretended to be. Sakura felt that she had finally reached a stage where he regarded her with unguarded acknowledgement, and although a long time had passed for her to be able to break through the barriers in his heart, she felt contented.

During that fateful mission, Sakura had watched her teammates do the fighting again, and was feeling rather low. In the aftermath of the fight, she discovered that both of the boys were trembling slightly, wide-eyed, and breathless. She only learned afterward in a small cave that they had set up camp in that both of them had had their first kill.

They had eaten dinner in silence, tension palpable in the air. Even Naruto had been unable to do anything to break the tense atmosphere. After they finished and the moon had risen, Kakashi-sensei had announced that he would take first watch.

In the pale light of the moon, Sakura was unable to sleep. It was warm, and cozy, but her mind was just too active to allow her doze off. She was lying in the middle of the boys, and was looking up at the dull grey of the cave's wall. Naruto had unconsciously moved to her left side and had curled up beside her, while Sasuke's hand had shifted so that it was barely a few inches away from hers. She longed to interlace her fingers with him, but she did not, and she knew that she should have pushed Naruto away from her, but she laid still. She gave a soft sigh before closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep.

The emotional trauma of killing someone… how was she supposed to understand that, when she could barely slice a kunai to a person's body to draw blood? In her mind, she was the purest out of Team 7, because her hands had never been stained with blood that was not hers. She knew that Kakashi-sensei had killed countless shinobi before her, and would continue to do so, and she knew that Naruto and Sasuke also had their fair share of blood. However, hurting was different from killing. When you hurt someone, you merely hear them gasp in pain and see the red essence of their body seep through the open wound. When you kill someone, however, you see the life go out in their eyes, see the last expression of horror on their faces before you end it, permanently freezing their face into that strangled contortion forever. You look into their eyes, and wonder if they have a family too, waiting for them at home, you wonder if the unnamed shinobi before your eyes has a promise to fulfill, but you know that his life would have long passed behind him after the last breath has escaped his lungs.

How was she to know?

She could barely hear Kakashi-sensei's soft chuckle before she craned her head to look at him, her emerald gaze meeting his lone eye.

"You're good for them, Sakura."

Her eyes widened in surprise, before shaking her head. "I didn't do anything to help." It came out softer and more pathetic than she had intended.

"That's not true. You helped with our strategizing, remember? In fact, you contributed the most."

A feather light breath escaped her lips, and she slumped down with a dejected expression. "You know better than me that a shinobi with smarts alone isn't going to get very far."

"Correct, but it's good that you're so kind and caring. If you weren't, Sasuke and Naruto would probably be on rampages right now." He looked away and snapped his book shut.

She waited for him to continue.

"Sakura, your first kill will haunt you. It is a traumatic experience which you will probably never forget. With these two," he gestured to the sleeping boys beside her, "I was afraid that they wouldn't have anyone to fall back on. They are in a turbulent stage in their lives, and although their pride will never allow them to say it, they need to fall back on others sometimes. You are perfect for them."

"So, you're saying that it's a good thing that I couldn't do anything to help just now?" Sakura bit out bitterly.

"No," he sighed, "it's a good thing that you're still innocent Sakura who will embrace and give comfort to them." This time, he smiled lightly.

"Oh?"

"Don't grow up too fast, Sakura. That's just what I'm trying to say. Now, go to sleep," he ruffled her hair, his lone eye crinkling at her.

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During Team 7's solo mission in the Land of Tea (Kakashi-sensei had been sent off to a high-ranking mission without them), Sakura experienced a myriad of emotions she would never have felt on daily basis. Perhaps it was due to puberty, but she felt that it was for the best when Kakashi-sensei had gone. Maybe it was because she finally had one less human barrier to go through, one less human barrier to protect her from danger. While Naruto and Sasuke had mixed reactions to Kakashi's absence, hers was of delight. Maybe she could prove her worth on this mission after all.

When they had stopped in the tiny tea shack for a break, Sakura felt overwhelmed when Idate had flirted with her. She had blushed slightly then, too embarrassed for words. With Naruto and Sasuke, it was the same thing over and over again – Naruto would ask Sakura out, Sakura would vehemently reject his offer, and then she would timidly ask Sasuke out, before he would coldly reject hers – maybe routines had to be broken. Naruto had been over-protective of her, but Sakura felt flattered. It was one of the rare times when a boy would openly express his interest in her. She had been on the receiving end of unrequited love for a long time, and sometimes, a little attention was nice.

When Idate had blatantly asked her to give up her ninja life to elope with him, she was shocked to find herself even considering her offer. Seeing as she was such an idiot to keep hanging around Sasuke, and too weak to be of any use to her team… but then Sasuke had given Idate a warning glare, and she stopped. She mentally kicked herself. What was she thinking? What about her nindo? She would not back down, not this time. Sakura put on her patented fake smiles and said nothing, pretending to be the porcelain doll her team expected her to be.

When Idate had left with such incredible speed, she could feel Sasuke's irritation rolling of him in almost-tangible waves (Naruto just voiced his displeasure out loud), and found herself wondering if it was solely due to the fact that Idate had left his bill for them to pay which had ticked him off so much. She had shrugged before pumping chakra into her legs to catch up with Idate. Boys…

Sasuke was a little like an anti-hero, she supposed. He was not exactly against the protagonist, but he did not possess the characteristics of a stereotypical hero either. When those thugs had threatened the shop keeper menacingly, Sasuke had taken them out easily. Sakura had watched his swift movements with childish glee and confidence, and had smiled lightly when he cracked his knuckles with an intimidating air. She had utmost faith in his abilities. After all, she loved him, did she not?

Sasuke had such an authoritative air around him which proved his aristocratic blood, and the way he carried himself was reminiscent of royalty. When Sasuke and Sakura had walked down the marketplace together (Naruto, being the idiot he was, had been storming in front with Idate), people naturally made way for him. It was as though he commanded the attention, and such power came to him naturally. Sakura had taken notice of this, and was in slight awe of his stature. Her Sasuke-kun was so cool!

Then, they had found out about the race, and Sakura felt herself tense with excitement. It was going to be interesting, definitely.

Usually, Kakashi-sensei would assign the job of protecting the escort to her. This time, without their sensei, Sakura could have bullied Naruto (or even Sasuke, if she tried hard enough) to take up that job, but she had slipped into the role naturally, wordlessly. A kind of unspoken trust had been built within Team 7 since the mission in Wave. Naruto and Sasuke would take out the enemy ninja, while Sakura would protect their charge. It ticked Sakura off on normal occasions, but she gritted her teeth and stood in defensive position in front of Morino Idate anyway. Baby steps, baby steps…

It posed no difficulty to protect their charge, because they were usually obedient and timid, an advantage in battles, for they listened to Sakura's every command. However, Idate was so defiant and fast. Sakura could barely keep up with him, but knew that she was most suited to this job. Naruto was too brash and would no doubt get into another stupid argument with Idate, while Sasuke was too valuable to be standing in one place.

She willed herself to not flare up and just slap her charge, because she was already having trouble fending off some vicious blows from the Rain nin. She was stressed, and the damn boat was on fire. If that boy said something stupid one more time…

The heat from the flames had reached a point where it could scald her skin if she went too near, but she disregarded the fact first, and concentrated on protecting Idate. He was the priority now.

Clones were quickly closing in on them, and Idate would be harmed soon. If she did not do something quick… there! She saw the sturdy wooden mast. It looked huge and heavy, but Inner Sakura had chosen that opportune moment to come out of her shell, and with strength she never knew she possessed, she wrapped her slender arms around it, and pulled. Goddammit, she pulled so hard that she felt her limbs would give out and she saw from her peripheral vision that the clones were about to slash Idate and she could not let that happen and- oh no, oh no, come on…

The mast gave way. She had just fucking pulled it out of the boat.

Grinning like a mad Cheshire cat, she swung. Hell yeah, she swung it horizontally and the clones vanished in puffs of smoke, leaving Sakura panting and Idate wide-eyed.

'Go Idate! Please…" she begged. She was in no mood for his comebacks, and was on breaking point herself. The heat had become unbearable, and all she wished was that Idate would jump off the boat to lessen her burden. She pleaded with him through her emerald gaze, trying to convey to him that they were sincere. As dysfunctional as her team could be, they were nothing if not committed.

Then, she saw a kunai aimed straight for his heart. If not for the heat and the close proximity of the fire, she would have parried it easily with her own. However, the sheer pressure of it all had muddled her senses, and her body acted on reflex, coming to block the sharp weapon with her shoulder to avoid getting Idate hurt. She gasped at the pain, and winced, before turning to Idate to tell him to just go. Naruto and Sasuke heard her scream, and were anxious to finish the fight.

Seconds after Idate had escaped, the trio jumped into the sea themselves, barely dodging the shrapnel of wood which had flew to them from the burning boat.

When they reached the shore, Team 7 had slumped down unceremoniously in the first cave they found, not bothering to check if it had become home to any exotic sea creature. Sakura nursed her wound, while her teammates and Idate recuperated. As they stared into the amber glow of the fire, Sakura replayed the events of her fight in her mind, and she smiled slightly at the memory. She had finally done something worthwhile… It made her feel warm inside, and she hugged her knees tighter, not in pain, but in glee.

Naruto and Sasuke, however, had been cursing inwardly at their incompetence. They had let Sakura get hurt. That was unacceptable. Hurting Sakura was a sin.

Overlooking the bright glow of the flames, the male members of Team 7 had surreptitiously turned their gaze to their female teammate, not noticing the slight curve of her lips.

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When both of her boys had been battling it out on the roof of the hospital, she felt so helpless. It was as though she was watching a horror movie – it was horrifying yet thrilling at the same time. The first thought in her mind as she screamed and bounded toward them was 'No… please stop! We are Team 7! No… please, no, no, no, please… Oh gods…'

However, when Kakashi-sensei had shown up with his impeccable timing, and the aftermath of the fight was shown through the extensive damage done to the water tanks, Sakura clenched her fists tightly and looked down. From an onlooker's perspective, it would look as though the small girl was angry and frustrated that the barriers between their hearts were getting thicker, which she was, but she could hardly stop the onslaught of scalding tears which threatened to spill over, because her teammates were improving so quickly, and she was still stuck at the back, always watching their figures get smaller and smaller in the distance as they got closer to their goals. Oh gods, it hurt so much, and she felt like crying in anguish. Damn it, damn it, damn it…

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She had finally accepted a long-awaited dinner date with Naruto. She should have felt slightly happy, because she finally had someone to shower her with attention, or should have felt slightly irritated, because Naruto was not the one she liked, but she felt calm neutrality as she ate her ramen in silence. Although Naruto tried his best to get her to talk, or even smile, she stayed quiet and sullen. The only thoughts in her head revolved around a certain dark-haired avenger. She sighed quietly and resumed to picking at her noodles.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, are you worried about Sasuke?" Gone was the goofy grin and obnoxious tone in his voice. Naruto looked at her, his azure eyes sparkling under the lanterns' light, and she realized for the first time how old and mature he looked. He looked weary and tied down by the world, and Sakura supposed that he was.

She suddenly felt guilt wash over her in huge waves, but found a lump stuck in her throat. She lifted a small hand to her neck and slumped down. "Oh Naruto… I'm so sorry…"

"Sasuke… is going to be fine. Kakashi-sensei told us not to worry right? You shouldn't worry about him. Sasuke can take care of himself," His voice had undergone a huge change from his usual intolerable intonation, and his deep baritone soothed and surprised her slightly. It was times like this which reminded Sakura that they weren't kids anymore. Not after they had received their headbands. And Naruto was much more mature than she could ever be.

That concluded their conversation, and both teens ate in silence. After the meal, Naruto had offered to walk her home, but she declined. She would have liked some company home, but she did not want Naruto to see the vulnerable side of her. While he would probably try to comfort her, it embarrassed her more than it should have, because she had grown to respect and admire Naruto as a friend, and she did not want them to think of her as useless any longer.

Damn it. She should have been strong enough to withstand the onslaught of tears which threatened to break through her carefully made up façade. Quickening her pace, she looked up into the sky and saw the familiar cover of darkness. It was a beautiful night, but the moon looked so sad, as though foreshadowing something ominous. The stars twinkled much more coldly and distantly than any other night, and something in her heart just told her to change her direction. Somewhere in there, an unknown feeling (yet it felt horribly familiar at the same time) stirred within her gut.

She ran.

She stumbled a few times and shivered slightly before she made it, and the dark figure walking down the path (away from her, away from her life, away from Konoha, no, no, no) confirmed her fears. She swallowed.

Her conversation with Sasuke had just proved how little she knew of her teammates, how little she understood him. She had thought that maybe, somewhere, deep inside his aloof exterior, he harboured thoughts of a happy existence with them, with his teammates, with his friends. It turned out that she was wrong. So very, very wrong.

When he flashed behind her to give her his thanks, her brain was working extremely fast, but her body felt frozen. No, no, no… don't go… please…

"Sakura," a hesitant pause, then his smooth quiet murmur came, "thank you for everything."

She barely felt her body tense up at the unexpected hit on her vital point behind her neck before she slipped into unconsciousness, and the only thing she registered before she fell into the comforting blackness were two arms breaking her fall. Sasuke-kun…

Later, as she woke up in the soft rays of dawn, she recalled the events of last night, and the only thing that flashed through her mind was the cryptic message that he left behind. Thank you? What for Sasuke-kun? I did nothing for you. All I ever did was get in your way.

When she retold the events to Tsunade-sama, she felt unexpected tears welling up. She pushed them down, and told herself harshly, "Don't cry. You were weak, that's why he didn't want to bring you along. You were weak, that's why you were unable to stop him. Don't you dare effing cry."

As she stood at the village gates watching Naruto and the others go, she felt like taking off with them, but knew that she would only be a burden.

Naruto's words to her, "I'll bring him back Sakura-chan. It's a promise of a lifetime!" It made Sakura feel so many emotions that she felt like an emotional wreck. Naruto's overly bright (and fake) grin was glaring in the morning sun, and although she felt like screaming at him to bring her along, because she was Sasuke's teammate and friend, not them, she smiled and waved through teary eyes.

Good luck Naruto. If there's one person whom Sasuke trusts, it's you.

She stood at the village gates for a long time, perhaps until late evening. Kotetsu and Izumo had given up persuading her to go home. She was simply too stubborn.

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Naruto had come back. He was not far from death. Her heart almost stopped when she looked at how cut up he was.

Her heart told her that it was all her damn fault that she could do nothing to help, and was so weak.

If Naruto looked like that, then Sasuke was definitely on the brink of death too. Her chest was constricted with pain and anguish. Where was the Team 7 who protected her, their doll? Where were they now? She screamed.

After seeing Naruto's state, she tossed and turned in her bed that night, unable to get sleep. Adrenaline was pumping in her veins and she felt extremely wired with all the restless energy bundled up in her muscles. It was the first time she had left her house in the middle of the night to do something, and it definitely wasn't going to be her last.

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A/N: Shorter than my previous chapter... And I realised that this has been rotting in my laptop for more than three months now... Anyway, working on the next part, love all of you guys! :)

Reviews are highly appreciated :)