Title: The One that Got Away
Author: OCDegrassi (Holly)
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Lancelot, Arthur/Gwen
Rating: K+
Warnings: Slash, Angst
Note: So this is my first Merlin fanfic. I love Merlin, but I've never gotten around to writing anything about it. I'm on a bit of a Merlin kick right now though, so expect plenty more from me in the near future. This is a bit angsty and depressing, so be warned.

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Arthur watched as Lancelot clasped Merlin's shoulder with a tenderness that could only be shown by lovers. He saw Merlin smile brightly at the knight in return. While the prince watched his two friends, his heart broke piece by piece. He didn't know how many times a heart could break, but he was sure that his heart had reached its limit. Every time he saw his former lover and Lancelot together, he felt a twinge in his chest that turned into a dull aching. He knew he had no right to be hurt. After all, he was the one who ended things with Merlin. He remembered the day that he let his other half go like it was only yesterday; the words sharp in his mind and the pain still in his heart.

"We will never be able to be together, Merlin," he said with a sad sigh. He looked out the window, because he knew that he could not bear seeing the other boy's face. Merlin's eyes were watering, even as he tried to fight back tears. "But when you're king, things will be different," he said forcefully. Arthur could hear the pleading and the hopefulness in his voice, and he felt a lump forming in his throat. He shook his head.

"Not that different. The people may accept that I am with someone who is not a noble; they may even accept that I am with another man; but they will never accept both. They will never accept us." The tears finally started to fall down Merlin's face, but he simply bit his lip and nodded. As he walked out of the room without a word, Arthur felt cold. His chest felt like a rock was stuck inside of it, and he felt more alone than he ever had.

He knew that this was what had to happen, but it didn't make it any easier. He couldn't force Merlin to be his secret lover while he married someone else and had a child with them. So he would set Merlin free. They would both move on. He chose Guinevere because she reminded him of Merlin. They both had the biggest hearts of anyone he'd ever met. They were both funny, and kind, and loyal. He even convinced himself that he could be happy with Gwen. She was a wonderful woman, after all. But every time they kissed, Arthur was painfully reminded that she was not Merlin.

He knew that should be happy that Merlin had moved on and found someone that could make him happy. He deserved that. But Arthur just could not force himself to feel it. He wanted Merlin to tell him that he wasn't happy with Lancelot, and he never could be, because his heart belonged to Arthur. He imagined taking Merlin into his arms and proclaiming that he felt the same; that he had made an awful mistake because they belonged together. But he knew this would never happen. It couldn't happen. Still, his heart held onto the hope pathetically. He knew that he should let it go. He even wanted to. His life would be much easier if he could. But the truth was that Arthur wasn't ready to accept that he and Merlin were truly over. He wasn't sure he'd ever be. Merlin would always be the one that he let get away.

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A/N: So what did you think? I know it's depressing, but I couldn't help it. The idea has been bugging me for ages, and I just had to write it. Please Review.