Ivan sighed softly as he stood off to the side-lines. In his passion to invite everyone to celebrate 'l'amour, Francis had sent out invitations to even him. He was grateful for the excuse to get out of the house, though no one had approached him all night. The kids that had attended the marriage had already curled up on the make-shift bed that had been made for them.
Ivan's purple eyes softened from their icy stare as he looked at his children. He sorely missed them, but was respecting Yao's wishes by staying away.
Across the room, talking to his younger brother, Yao was laughing and smiling easily enough, a small cup of punch in his hand. His dark brown hair was in a loose ponytail, swung over his shoulder to hang down in front of his chest. Kiku smiled slightly, listening to Yao's ramblings. He could still see the sadness in the elder's eyes, the same sadness he had seen since he had kicked Ivan out of the house.
"Nii-san, why don't you just go talk to him and explain what happened?" Kiku asked gently, setting a hand on the man's arm. Fear instantly replaced the sadness.
"Bù! Rúguǒ tā bù xǐhuan wǒ xiànzài de ne?" The Chinese man asked, swallowing thickly. "I mean, I killed our baby, Kiku, why wouldn't be hate me?" he asked, fingers going to the scar on his stomach. Yao hadn't been far along, but he had mutilated himself to deal with the issue.
Kiku's brown-black eyes bore into Yao's. "Nii-san, you need to take the risk. Your children need their father, and you need your husband,"
Ivan watched the exchange, though didn't know what was going on. He frowned when he saw the fear in Yao's eyes, even from across the room, and fought the urge to wrap his arms around the older man's waist and pull him close, to keep him close until he realized that sending the Russian away was a mistake.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
Ivan chuckled bitterly as the song came on. He glanced around, noticing the newly-weds happily, blissfully, dancing, a tangle of arms and hair as they moved to the music, a soft, chinkling giggle leaving the Canadian once in a while.
Other couples were dancing as well. Gilbert was in his lover's arms, back to the Austrian's front as they swayed, piano-tuned fingers worshiping a swollen belly. Alfred had his forehead pressed to Arthur's, murmuring the words of the song to his shorter lover, his blue eyes glowing softly. Antonio and Lovino had their sleeping daughters in their arms, though were swaying in sync with one another that it could've been called dancing. And Feliciano was resting his head on Ludwig's chest, eyes closed as if asleep. It wouldn't surprise the Russian, with all the alcohol the younger Italian had consumed throughout the day.
Ivan shook his head, feeling remarkably alone at that moment. "Why don't you go talk to him?" His sister asked, clipped voice filling his ears. He glanced at his little sister, smiling slightly.
"He doesn't want me, but I don't know what I did." he said faintly.
"Hn, fool. Go talk to him." Natalya growled, pushing him towards the Chinese man. He bumped into the smaller man, freezing when Yao slowly turned to look up at him, their eyes locking.
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
"Hello..." Ivan said softly, longing to touch the man before him. Yao stared at him, swallowing thickly, as if trying to talk but he couldn't. Ivan sighed softly, his eyes finally looking away from those pained eyes. "Sorry." he whispered, moving to walk past him.
He was surprised by a hand grabbing his, shaking but firm. "Ivan... P-please." Yao whimpered. Ivan turned at that voice, only to get an armful of a small Chinese man. He was pleasantly surprised when those arms wrapped around his middle, shoulders shaking lightly. "Bùyào zài líkāi. Wǒ xūyào nǐ."
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Ivan's eyes softened and he wrapped his arms around the man, drawing him impossibly closer. He ducked down a bit, kissing the top of his head lovingly. "YA nikuda ne poĭdu." he whispered back. The man shook more, and Ivan could feel the tears soak through his suit to his skin. One large hand moved to rub the man's back, trying to soothe him.
Much like he used to when his children were having nightmares, he lifted Yao up easily, letting the Chinese male sit on his arms. Yao's legs parted slightly to get more comfortable, but it wasn't obscene. Legs just dangling on either side of Ivan's hips as he was held. Thin arms wrapped around the Russian's neck, clinging tightly.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Ivan began swaying as he whispered into the smaller man's ear gently.
Yao's arms tightened at the words, his form shaking in Ivan's hold. He lifted his head up to look into the purple eyes he had missed over the last few weeks, his brown eyes glimmering with pain and anguish, but also fear. Ivan lowered his head and pressed their lips lightly together.
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
"Huí jiā." Yao whispered against the Russian's lips. Ivan's hold tightened in response, though not enough to cause Yao to panic.
Ivan pulled his head back. "Alright.." he whispered back, giving a very faint smile. What he wouldn't give to wipe that look of pain from his lover's eyes.
Gently lowering Yao to his feet, he glanced at the children before he approached and lifted them both easily into his arms.
Yao felt a little heartbroken that they snuggled right in, recognizing him, even in the deepest grips of slumber.
Ivan turned towards him, his amethyst eyes holding a question. Yao shook his head lightly and smiled at him, though it was forced. Ivan nodded, gesturing with his head for Yao to get the door for him. Yao was quick to do so, wanting to leave as soon as he could, maybe convince his lover to let him leave for a while.
Once the children were tucked away on the back seat, curled up in Ivan's large coat, Ivan began the drive home. His hands gripped the wheel tightly, turning whiter than his pale skin usually was. Yao kept his gaze out the window, trying to stop the welling panic in his chest.
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
"Yao, you're home." Ivan said softly, parking the car in the drive-way and got out to carry the children upstairs. Yao numbly followed him, feeling resigned to the guilt that was going to be poured upon his heart.
Once the two were curled up in their beds, Ivan turned and nodded for Yao to follow him to their room. Yao swallowed thickly, closing the door behind him with a light click. "Ivan..."
His words were cut off by a gentle, winter-cold finger to his lips. Fear filled his eyes as he looked up. Ivan smiled faintly. He knew why Yao was scared. "Yao, let me... I just want to hold you for now, alright?" he whispered.
Tears filled Yao's eyes before he shook his head. "W-we need to talk, Ivan." he said as he turned his back to him and began to pull his shirt off. Ivan's eyes roamed the expanse of pale, bare skin that was exposed to him, eyes lingering on the slice down his back left by his younger brother. He could remember when the wound was fresh, blood welling to the surface continuously. If Yao had been human...
"About what?" Ivan asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes locked on what looked like a bruise on Yao's side, his eyes narrowing.
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
"Ivan... I..." Yao turned towards him, his head turned to the side. There was an ugly scar on his stomach, much like the one that Alfred had, though this one was festering, swollen, still raw, like he wouldn't let it heal.
"What have you done to yourself, Yao?" Ivan asked softly, gently pulling the Chinese man closer by his hips, his thumb rubbing just under the wound.
"I... I was upset and... I... I killed our child." Yao whispered, clenching his eyes, expecting a slap, a punch. What surprised him was the sigh that Ivan expelled, and he jumped when he felt a cold forehead press itself to his belly. "I-Ivan?" he asked.
"I know you lost the baby, Yao. It wasn't your fault." Ivan said softly, closing his eyes. He shivered when he felt fingers gently move through his light blond strands of hair, his hands tightening slightly. "It was never your fault. Don't blame yourself."
I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
"Ivan... Please... I need you. I... I don't care how. Hit me, love me... Just don't be so kind like this." Yao whimpered, trying to hide his tears. He gasped when he found himself on his back on the bed, looking up into a pair of smoldering eyes.
"Yao, my every intention is to love you. I won't have you running away from me anymore." Ivan whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips to Yao's. Yao whimpered and returned the kiss, shivering when a cold hand ran over the wound. He made a slight face when the wound began to sting, being forcefully healed.
Ivan smiled slightly as he pulled away from the kiss, kissing his forehead as his hands began to divest them both of their clothes. He lifted himself up to get Yao's pants off, followed by his own. He didn't care about being suave. He didn't care about being sexy or romantic. He had other needs to fulfill.
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Yao gasped softly and arched his back as the cooler air hit his skin. He wasn't aroused—not yet—but it wouldn't take long at this point. Even if his heart wasn't fully in it, his body was eager. He shivered and recoiled at Ivan's cold skin, wondering just why he was so cold.
His heart seized up. This was how Ivan felt the first time they were together. Mechanical, cold... And a new fear filled him. He didn't want to be left alone again. Surging his head up, he kissed the Russian's lips fiercely, gripping his shoulders fearfully.
Ivan patiently returned the kiss, cupping the back of Yao's head gently, controlling the kiss in those simple actions. He didn't have to be forceful, he just had to be patient. It was a trade that he had only learned over the past few years with their children.
The older man pulled away, panting lightly as he looked up at Ivan, still gripping his shoulders. "I-Ivan... W-why are you so cold?" he whispered.
I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
Ivan smiled slightly. "Because that was what you wanted, da?" he asked, tilting his head innocently.
Yao felt anger well up inside of him, raising his hand from Ivan's shoulders. "Báichī!" Yao spat, eyes narrowing as he slapped Ivan upside the head.
A relieved chuckle left Ivan as he bowed his head slightly. "Spasibo , dorogoĭ. Mne nuzhno eto." he whispered before kissing him deeply, earning a pleased whimper from the man beneath him.
His skin began to warm up, both with arousal and from Yao's own body heat. Yao shivered at that, his fingers slowly dancing along the Russian's shoulders and neck as he returned the kiss earnestly.
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time Yeah yeah yeah
Ivan shifted and nudged Yao's entrance. The man froze up before relaxing as much as he could. Neither really had the patience, ever, for preparation. He arched up when the blunt tip pressed in, followed by the slow burn as he was stretched and filled. He could feel himself tear but didn't bother voicing it. He just relaxed further, willing his body to accept the intrusion.
"It's all in, da?" Ivan asked with a slight giggle as he broke the kiss, his hips rocking automatically. Yao moaned sweetly, clinging to the Russian and pain and pleasure mixed in a beautiful symphony within his body. The pace stayed slow for a few moments, both getting used to the feeling again, though quickly sped up to the familiar skin-upon-skin slap that echoed throughout Yao's ears.
A pleasured flush covered his cheeks as the burn died away, only to twinge here and there when the movements were a but too rough. Yao continued to moan and cry sweetly, welcoming Ivan every way he could.
I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Ivan moaned into the man's ear, only to slowly pull out before either were spent. Yao stared up at him, slightly confused, before he raised his hips, as if begging. Ivan smirked slightly, pressing back in suddenly, making those pale hips arch up more to meet the movements.
Yao's eyes rolled closed as he surrendered his body to the man above him, letting himself be used however the other deemed fit. His heart clenched when he felt soft kisses brushing along his collarbone, completely opposite of the harsh thrusting of their lower bodies.
His eyes shot open, however, when his spot was barely touched, his body convulsing slightly. "I-Ivan!" he gasped, clinging even tighter than before as he raised his legs to wrap around the Russian's waist, trying to draw him in deeper, urging him to find that spot again that made his mind blissfully blank.
Ivan chuckled softly and kissed his ear. "Molchi . Deti spyat." he whispered softly, nipping the lobe gently.
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Yao whimpered but bit his lip to keep quiet, just trying to meet Ivan's movements with his own. His entire body was singing with pleasure and he knew he was going to be sore in the morning. That wasn't anything new with Ivan, he knew that, but it would be a welcome ache in his lower back compared to the one he had been holding in his chest for quite some time with the Russian's absense.
"Wǒ jiējìn, yīncǐ guānbì!" Yao moaned out, moving faster with Ivan's hurried movements. His ear got nipped a second time.
"Skazhite, chto na russkom yazyke, i ya dam vam pridet." Ivan whispered tauntingly, panting a bit from the movements,
I Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Yao whimpered again, searching his mind for the words. It was hard to do when everything was in a haze, including his own eyesight. "YA blizko, Ivan. Pozhaluĭsta ...!" he begged, his neglected cock throbbing between them, getting a teasing amount of friction from their movements.
Ivan smiled and pulled Yao in for a sweet kiss as a strong hand wrapped around his lover's length and began stroking, still teasing, but much more consistent than their bodies had been on the matter. A cry left Yao as his back arched, his vision going white then fading to black.
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Ivan chuckled softly as he found his own release just moments later, only to pull out slowly and lay beside his unconscious lover. He raised his hand, gently licking off the white liquid on his hand. His eyes flashed slightly, possessive, before he pulled the blankets up over him. Carefully, he slipped from the bed to go clean up, returning to clean the smaller man up as well before he curled up around him.
However, he couldn't bring himself to sleep. He didn't want to wake up and find this all to be a dream, that Yao hadn't let him back, that he'd be lucky to watch his babies grow up, even through pictures. With a sigh, he pulled Yao closer and stroked his hair, his eyes half-lidded as he drifted off to sleep.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
And I don't want to miss a thing
OMAKE 1:
The bright sunlight made Yao wince and try to bury his head under the pillow, only to wince at the throbbing in his lower back. He sighed softly, a slight smile on his face, only to have it drop when he didn't feel a warm body next to him.
Sitting up suddenly—and greatly regretting the action at the twinge that ran through his entire body—he looked around frantically for any sign of his lover. None were found. He felt his eyes fill with tears as he drew his legs to his chest, his arms wrapping around them tightly.
"Why is Mama sad?" Shuìlián asked softly, her bright golden eyes looking out from under her white-blond hair. Behind her, Nikolaya, shrugged.
"We could go ask." he said quietly, soft blue eyes hidden underneath dark brown strands.
"It's because he thinks I'm gone," Ivan said softly, making both children jump. They weren't used to their father's silent walking. Carefully stepping around them, he headed into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, a tray of food—made with the children's help of course—on his lap. "Yao-Yao, good morning!" he said cheerfully.
Yao raised his head and looked at him, only to launch himself at Ivan, kissing him deeply. Ivan, slightly surprised, barely managed to keep the food from going to waste. When the abrupt kiss ended, he laughed softly, wiping away the rest of his tears.
Nikolaya and Shuìlián quickly scrambled onto the bed, each clinging to a parent. "It's a very good morning." Yao finally whispered.
OMAKE 2:
The shattering of glass sounded in the house. Mathias stood, breath leaving him in heavy pants. His face was flushed in anger as he watched Lukas.
The younger blond just stared at him blankly, as he had the last few hundred years that he had been here in the Dane's house. A small trickle of blood rolled down his cheek, dripping from his chin to the blue of pants. "That's your answer, is it?" Lukas asked after a long moment, ever calm. It didn't matter that he was inwardly a flurry of emotions, none ever passed to the surface.
Just as silently as everything else he did, Lukas stood up.
An inkling of fear dripped into Mathias' heart when he saw him. "Lukas...?" he asked, his shoulders deflating a bit.
"You're sleeping on the couch until further notice. Don't even bother trying to touch me, Denmark. You're lucky I don't just throw you from the house." Lukas said with a surprising amount of coldness in his voice as he made his way upstairs to his old room.
Mathias watched him, huffing a bit but he didn't dare go to his room to get more than a blanket and a pillow before he returned to his couch. He didn't hear the barely suppressed gasps and heartwrenching sobs from the Norwegian's room.
TRANSLATIONS:
Nii-san – Japanese, "Brother"
Bù! Rúguǒ tā bù xǐhuan wǒ xiànzài de ne? – Chinese, "No! What if he hates me now?"
Bùyào zài líkāi. Wǒ xūyào nǐ. – Chinese, "Don't leave again. I need you."
YA nikuda ne poĭdu. – Russian, "I'm not going anywhere."
Huí jiā. – Chinese, "Come home."
Da – Russian, "Yes/Yeah"
Báichī – Chinese, "Idiot"
Spasibo , dorogoĭ. Mne nuzhno eto. – Russian, "Thank you, darling. I needed that."
Molchi . Deti spyat. – Russian, "Keep quiet. The children are asleep."
Wǒ jiējìn, yīncǐ guānbì! – Chinese, "I'm close, so close.
Skazhite, chto na russkom yazyke, i ya dam vam pridet. – Russian, "Say it in Russian and I'll let you come."
YA blizko, Ivan. Pozhaluĭsta ...! – Russian, "I'm close, Ivan. Please...!"