Title: Red,WhiteandBlue

Summary: September 11th 2001, in the eyes of the Reagan family. Jamie Centered. ** Warning to Jamie fans … he will be most affected. **

Thanks to Nora Lou and her story that gave me this wonderful story.

Disclaimer: Don't Own Blue Bloods! CBS does :) Don't own Choices: The Album or Ipod! (:

This story is for everyone affected by 9/11/2001.

*** Blue Bloods ***

(Sep 11th 2011)

Jamie Reagan stood in the bathroom, looking in the mirror. He was in a newly brought suit. He looked nice in the black suit but he didn't feel right.

No one felt right.

He still had this empty feeling that he's had for ten years and he still wonders everyday if it would ever go away.

His father knocked on the bathroom door before stepping in. "You okay son?" He asked, worried.

Jamie, including his social studies class, was a block from the World Trade Center. Jamie saw the first plane crash into the tower.

But Frank didn't know how much his son saw, ten years ago, because Jamie refused to talk about it, and still to this day refuses. The only chance Frank and Danny got a glimpse into Jamie's mind about that day is when Jamie has to much to drink, and that doesn't happen a lot because Jamie is careful. But Frank knew that it still haunted Jamie, because he still had nightmares. And around the winter months, Jamie looked like he got less and less sleep every year.

And that scared Frank.

"I'm fine, dad." Jamie lied. "When are we leaving?"

Frank sighed, catching the lie. "Soon." He wanted to say more to his son but he didn't know where to start. So, for now he was going to leave it.

*** Blue Bloods ***

Jamie sat beside Erin at the memorial. He barley heard his sister's comment about the whole of city of New York being here, and all he did was shake his head in agreement.

Jamie's head was somewhere else.

"You okay?" He heard his oldest brother asked, slipping into Erin's seat when she got up.

He turned his attention to Danny, shaking his head yes. "I'm just thinking." He told his brother softly. His attention turned to the stage when the mayor of New York stood on the stage, with tears glisted in his eyes.

"Are you going to let us in?"

Jamie shook his head, not answering his question.

He was in the middle of thinking.

*** Blue Bloods ***

Jamie felt the hot tears in his eyes when he heard the children of a firefighter who lost his life.

"He was my hero…" The youngest child said.

"I love my dad." The oldest child replied right after the youngest.

Jamie opened his eyes, not wiping the tears from his eyes. His mind went to thoughts…"Reagan men don't cry. They have to stand tall. Reagan men don't cry."

His arm went over his stomach when he heard the next voice. He shake off his thoughts (or he tired.), and he was brought back into a nightmare that only lived a couple weeks ago.

*** Blue Bloods ***

9/11/2001 – 8:30 AM

Jamie was half listing to his teacher when they got off the school bus. Today, as his social studies teacher would say, New York City is our classroom.

Jamie swore inside his head…worst idea ever. He hung back from the cloud, looking around in the sky as the sounds of Three Six Mafia's newest CD, "Choices:theAlbum" on his Ipod his father surpised with him at the beginning of the school year. The bus was only a block away from the Twin Towers.

He didn't know that his classmates popped inside a local coffee shop for their lunch. He still watched the sky, as he mouthed the words to his CD. He was enjoying himself, at least this was better then sitting at school bored.

He didn't know how long he was looking into the sky for anwsers, of questions, that were never asked and that would never come.

8:46 AM

He swore his eyes were only closed for a mintue before he opened they back up.

He felt his heart start to beat faster, and Jamie swore he felt like he was having a heartattack.

The north tower of the Twin Towers was on fire.

Jamie slid off his headphones, were heard the mixture of screams and sirens. Somewhere he wondered in his head if his brothers were the sirens, then relaized it soon would be. He looked up from the sky when he heard a woman scream, "Kid, watch out."

Jamie tired to run across the street, falling half way through the street, as flying buring piece of wood flew and landed where he should have been standing. Only a little piece of the buring wood caught his leg, and someone helped get the fire out before hearing another set of screams before the stranger bolted.

Jamie would never get to say thank you to that man.

He was breathing heavily, watching as people ran the osppoiste direction from the World Trade Center.

And he wished he stayed with his class. He felt alone and trapped.

Today, he was going to die, wasn't he?

9:03 AM

He heard muptile screams and he turned around, just in time to see the second plane hit the south tower.

He looked around and saw people fleeing the horrfic scene.

When Jamie turned around, he saw a cloud of smoke heading his way.

Jamie froze.

"What the fuck was going on?" He screamed but no one anwsered, they kept running to get away from the screams.

The smoke filled the street with ashes.

Jamie didn't know what to do. So, he stayed still.

Until he faded screams that came clearer. He saw few people on the burned out street turn around in aw. Someone started to sob heavily as a crashing sound came on the pavent.

Jamie knew what was happing.

The people inside the towers were jumping.

Tears filled his eyes, closing his eyes, and he wished he was at home in his bed sleeping and what was happing in front of him was just the most realistic nightmare, he had ever had.

But when his eyes opened again, the same scene was in front of him.

He was scared.

Jamie wished he was as brave as his older brothers or his father. He grabbed his head with hands, and sat on the ground.

He was in panic mood.

9:28 Am

Frank Reagan eyes were closed as he rode with seven dectives of his robbery unit as they rode to the worst crime scene they will ever have to see.

Only thirty mintues ago, Frank was enjoying his second cup of coffee and dount, reading the paper as he listened to the words his tv reapted. Frank's tv was on in his office when he saw the second tower crash into the south tower of the World Trade Center. He went right into Captian mode, calling his troops in line as he told them what happened in the center and heart of their city.

Frank eye's were closed because he was praying.

Then he remembered Jamie's fieldtrip to the same part of town.

"FUCK!" Frank yelled inside his head, pulling out his cell phone to try to reach his son's high school.

He heard a light voice speak up from across from him, It was his youngest Dective on squad. "Captian…phone lines are down. I already tired calling my wife. She's in the towers."

Frank gave the young man a slight frown, but wouldn't dare to say the words because who knew if his wife was alive or not. The young man looked up to the older man and asked, "Do you think this was accident or do you think someone did this on America on purpose?"

Frank looked outside the window and said softly, "I don't know what to tell you, son. Let's just hope it was an accident."

Frank closed his eyes again prayed that all three of his sons would make it out today, alive.

9:57 AM

Jamie's hand hit flat against his chest, as he tried to remember how to breathe. He felt the smoke fill his lungs with every breath he took.

He looked around, open and shutting his eyes as fast as he ever did in his laugh, and gasped for breath like he was chocking. He swore ever other word, as he decided he couldn't stay here anymore and he needed to move as soon as possible.

Heard two voices call out into the crowd, "This is the NYPD, I need to back away from the World Trade Center. Is anyone there?"

Jamie gasped one word, "Help."

He didn't know if they could hear him, but he hoped somebody did. "Hey, call again!" One voice called. "Come on, kid."

Jamie knew that voice. "Help!" He screamed with everything he had until he started coughing.

In his head, he wonder, only for a second, what he did to piss God off. Maybe it was the fact, he wasn't thankful for his family enough or he didn't close his eyes when he said his prayers like everyone else in his family.

He heard one cop say to another; "The voice is coming from over here."

He heard the footsteps come closer to him, and he softly felt his heart speed up quiclky. He felt a hot breath beside him and a soft voice, "Kid, what the hell are you doing here?" The voice belonged to his big brother, Danny. Jamie looked to his older brother, who slipped his arm under Jamie's body, bringing up so he'd stand on his feet. "Are you hurt?"

"Lungs…." Jamie said slowly. "Foot." He took his free arm and pulled up his left pant leg showing the burns that the wood left on him. "You…every…what…"

"Save your breath, kid. I got you." Danny told his brother softly, trying to keep the fifteen year old clam. But inside Danny's mind, he wonder how Jamie was handling this. Danny was almost 10 years older than him and he couldn't barley understand what happened. "Sarge!" He screamed into the smoke. "I need some help. Jamie, I'm going to get you some help, okay?"

Jamie wasn't looking at Danny at anymore, but he was looking past him to the towers. Danny wondered what his little brother was thinking, and scared him at the same time to see the never stop talking Jamie Reagan, quiet as a mouse.

"Jamie!" He yelled sharply, getting his brother's short attention on him again. "I'm going to get you some help, okay? Shake your head if you understand." Jamie shook his head. "Good. Come on, Jamie."

10:17 AM

Danny half dragged, half carried Jamie into a tent that was fifteen blocks from where his sarge and him found the youngest Reagan. "Breathe, in and out." His sarge, Marshall, said slowly to Jamie, reminding the kid he had to breathe to keep himself alive. "Your doing good, Jamie. Real good. No wonder why, Danny talks so highly of you."

His sarge saw the fifteen year old half smiling before his eyes shut once again. He waitied a few mintues before he said something to the older protivce brother. When he didn't open his eyes back up, Marshall looked around for a nurse before telling Danny, Jamie passed out on him.

He didn't need Danny having a heart attack.

10:21 AM

Frank Reagan stopped moving. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

His gut was telling him something was wrong. But when looking at a scene, like he was at the moment, you couldn't pretend that something was wrong.

America was under attack today.

10:37 AM

It's been seven mintues since the second tower fell, though Danny didn't know. He was to worried about Jamie, who looked like he was going to die.

Danny held his little brother's hand tigthly telling him a story about when he was three years old and won't give by Danny's favortie NYPD sweatshirt. Danny laughed, smiling almost, when he recalled to Jamie, "You couldn't sleep without it, Jamie. You loved my sweatshirt and I have a heart…so, I couldn't give it back to you."

Marshall was outside, helping the voulteer's bringing in paients. When he saw, the middle Reagan child, stumble out of the smoke and out of his partner and tranning officer, Anthony Renzulli, arms and onto the ground. He put out his hands infront of his body falling onto the ground. "Mother fucker…" Anthony swore to the Reagan, who laid on the ground. "I swear to god, I have a half an mind to put you in handcuffs, so it'd be easier to walk you around."

"Don't." He put up a protest, trying to get up from the ground by himself.

Anthony went to his parnters side and stuck a hand around his, and one on his back; so he could help him from the ground slowly. "He okay?" Marshall asked.

"Fuck…I forget how hard dealing with a Reagan can get." Anthony sighed. "Climed into one of the tower's. Took out two survoirs with him, plus got a group out safe with him. It's only a couple people…one of the braviest kids…people I ever met." Anthony's grip on Joe got tighter.

Marshall looked to Joe, who looked pale and tired. "Agreed." Marshall said back to Anthony.

They only knew each other breifly from the quicky meals he had with each other, because of the Reagan boys. "Where's Danny?" Anthony asked Marshall, pulling him out of his trance. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

"He's in with the littlest Reagan…" Marshall said, not knowing he caught the young officer's attention in Anthony's arm.

"Jamie?" Joe said lightlty, moving his body towards the tent. "Is he dead?"

"No." Marshall anwsered the brave young man right away. "Come on, Joe. Let's bring you inside."

Danny saw Joe being dragged in by the two men, he learned to call friends, he quiclky let go of Jamie's hand, not hearing the moan Jamie let out from his lips and went to Joe's side. "What the hell? You okay, Joe?" Danny asked, helping him to the cot that laid beside Jamie's cot.

"I'm fine." Joe managed to get out in one breath. "It's nothing big."

"Danny, don'tlistento the crazy man." Anthony said behind the Reagan brothers.

Danny rolled his eyes at Joe before he felt Marshall's tight grip on Danny's shoulder. "We have to get back out there. New York City needs us." Marshall told him quielty, not to bother the nurses and doctors who were checking and rechecking every person in this room.

"I know." Danny said, quielty. "One more mintue, Sarage, please?"

"Of course."

Danny leaned in and grab Jamie a tight hug first, proimsing to get a hold of mom or dad for him and that he'd back soon to check up on him soon.

Jamie said nothing back to him, but looked away.

Then Danny whispered in Joe's ear. "Keep him talking. About anything. Just keep him thinking, talking; because I feel it…he wants to slip away." Danny frowned. "I'm counting on you, Joe. I love you."

He sat up straight, before glancing at his younger brothers injured on cot's, and he wished 100 times or more, already that he was injured and hurt instead of them. "I'll be back soon. Be good for Anthony." Danny followed orders, and followed his Saragent back into the living nightmare of New York City.

Anthony took Danny's seat between the two coats. "Jamie." Anthony said to the sleeply fifteen year old. "Do you wanna hear what Joe did today?"

He waited until Jamie shook his head or said the word, "Yes." When he finally got a light nood, he went into a story of Joe.

*** Blue Bloods ***

(Sep 11th 2011)

"Jamie….Jamie." He heard his brother's voice say softly, trying to wake him from his flashback.

Jamie opened his eyes, to find that Danny was sitting beside him. "I'm okay." Jamie said. He sat up from his lawn chair that he was sitting in, and looked around finding that he was in the middle of the memorial serivce.

'Thesethingsgetlongerandlongereveryyear…" Jamie thought, grabbing Danny's shoulder so he could stand up. "I need to leave…"

"Okay." Danny replied to Jamie's werid statement, without asking no questions, which Jamie found werid. But walked out of the serive with light tears in his eyes and his big brother beside him. If Danny saw the tears, he didn't say anything. They walked to Jamie's car and took a seat in the front. Danny waitied a few moments before he asked, "What's going on in your mind?"

Jamie took a few deep breaths before the words slipped out, surpising both Danny and Jamie. "I shouldbe dead."

"What!" Danny yelled, making his brother, jump.

"I go to these things ever year and every fuckingyear, I come up with the same thing. I should be dead. I was so close, so close to the towers. The wood from whatever…just missed me. Why are all those people dead and I'm not!" Jamie screamed the last part. "I don't get it, Danny!"

"Jamie…" His brothers name slipped out of Danny's mouth. "You are so lucky. You are a suriver. And that's something you should be proud if that, Jamie."

"But Danny….I can still close my eyes and hear the people screaming from their deaths." Jamie brought his hands to head and rubbed them against the side of his head, roughing. Danny thought of it as Jamie trying to scurb the memories out of his head.

He didn't know Jamie thought this.

He wished Jamie let them in ealier.

Danny turned his body towards Jamie, grabbing his wrists and wrapping around them his hands.

"Jamie…first of all that won't help…and you are smart…I bet you already know that. Second, you can always talk to me. For the longest time, I could get the imange of you out of my head. Finding you in the street, a block away from the World Trade Center, in smoke; scared the fuck out of me, Jamie. My little brother…"

Danny stopped talking when he noticed Jamie shaking, sobbing sliently. He woould talk later, right now, Jamie needed to be looked after. He pulled Jamie into a hug, rubbing his hand against his brothers back as he promised it was going to be okay.

"It's been 10 years now…Jamie." Danny said softly. "It's all goes up from here."

*** Blue Bloods ***

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