A Song Of Quiet Weeping

Chapter 7: Tricked

When I opened my eyes I found that I was back at the Dawnstar sanctuary, tucked neatly into my bed. Struggling to sit, I found that I felt as if I had been asleep for a very long time.

"Good evening," Babette's voice called to me from the shadows. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but eventually her sitting form became clear at a table by the end of the beds.

"Why are you always here when I wake up?" I groaned, leaning back into the furs and rubbing my eyes. Memories and thoughts of the previous night danced on the back of my eyelids and I found them hard to banish.

"Coincidence, I guess. Maybe I just like you," she sang, kicking her legs a little.

I found this repulsive, though instantly knew better. She was forever a child; it had to leave its mark in certain ways. Rolling out of bed, I pulled on a green robe and began the shuffle to the warm spring in the central cavern.

"Are you okay?" she called from behind me.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, turning to more fully face her.

Babette looked hesitant, and her eyes flickered down as her body turned away. It was as if she knew something and then decided not to tell me.

"What is it?" my voice called softly into the shadows.

Turning back to face me, the little vampire looked almost sorry. "Sithis will hear your words, Sister," she spoke, then made an unnaturally rapid exit into the depths of the sanctuary.

I was stunned, to put it simply. In some way, I was outraged at her persistent observation of my life while I am in the Sanctuary. It seemed as if she never completely left me in these shadowed rooms, but merely granted me the illusion from time to time. Next, I was left to wonder exactly how I had come to be here in the first place. Desperately, I hoped that I had walked in, seemingly normal, and gone straight to bed.

The memory of previous events began to turn my stomach, and I found that I was very confused about Sheogorath. He had always been a source of comfort and familiarity, I did not wish him from my life. Yet I longed for more distance between us. So far, he had been my only lover, my secret companion; it was hard for me to decide what came next-if I had the choice.

"Is something troubling you, Listener?" A man's velvet voice spoke from the shadows as a spectral form emerged from the nearest wall.

"Lucien, how long have you been hanging around?" I asked, taken aback. I had not summoned him, nor seen him since the incident with Cicero. I had searched the Sanctuary but it appeared that he had vanished into The Void once more.

The ancient assassin laughed, rolling his shoulders back as if enjoying a good stretch. "Your subconscious mind summoned me as you slept, Listener. Fortunately, this place has proved...interesting," he commented.

"Do you wish to return to your proper realm?" I asked politely, feeling a bit awkward.

Lucien took a minute to think this over. "No," he spoke simply, a small grin twisting his face.

I shrugged and decided to leave that matter be. Instead, I sauntered over to the spring and dipped my feet in, allowing the heat to soothe and repair. "How connected have you stayed with this realm, Lucien?" I asked after a fashion.

The assassin came to sit by my side, mimicking my pose. I wondered if he could feel the water, or if the heat lent him energy somehow. "I'm afraid I've been out of contact since my untimely demise," he drawled, with just the hint of a laugh in his tone.

"I see," I responded, unsure of what I wanted to say next.

"There you are," Astrid called, making a timely interruption, "I've been waiting for you. How did the contract go?"

"Alright, I guess," I lied, though it seemed my answer mattered little.

"Good. Listen, I was wrong earlier and I see that now. I should have never strayed from the Night Mother."

Now this was a tricky load to handle. I had to think quick on my feet, and the possibilities seemed endless. "Okay, the first step is to rebuild from the ground up as the Night Mother ordered. You shall be the first Speaker," I started, then gave pause. Exactly which members shall fill the remaining three positions? I hadn't given it much thought, and held no desire to start now.

"I understand," she nodded, giving me a curious expression, "Do you have any others in mind?"

"Nazir, Arnbjorn, but I'm unsure about the third," I admitted, relieved to have a confidante.

"Perhaps Babette?"

My first instinct was to say no, and my mind ran through the possible questions she may ask. I couldn't think of any concrete reason for her dismissal. "Do you trust her?" I asked instead, looking her straight in the eye.

"Yes, with my life," She spoke without hesitation, and gave no sign of deceit.

"Then it's settled," I conceded, feeling unsettled. I rose from my position in the water and felt the urge to find something away from Astrid to occupy my time.

"What is our next move, now that the hand has been assembled?" she asked, seemingly the picture of innocence.

I wondered if she was trying my nerves on purpose, and had to bite back a scathing response. "It isn't assembled yet. Let's gather in two hours. I'd like time to...speak with The Night Mother," I commanded, feeling in that moment that I was a stack of cards propped up on false bravado. One gust of wind and perhaps it would all come tumbling down; on the other hand, the glue could hold fast.

"Understood," she dismissed herself, turning towards her chambers.

As I turned to watch her go, something inside of me shifted. I cocked my head to the side and felt a sort of bitter humor settle over me. Those will be mychambers, I thought firmly. In the next moment, I was quite myself again. I felt a little woozy, and perhaps a little scared. Such aggression was alien to me, yet it was as if I had somehow forgotten that. With a jolt, I realized exactly what I was feeling and it didn't evoke shame.

I was prideful; I had, admittedly through circumstance, rose to the highest rank in this organization. I couldn't sleep in the whelp's quarters, could I?

Lucien laughed beside me, and I felt a cool hand clamp down on my shoulder. I had forgotten he was there.

As loathe as I was to return to my current quarters, I needed to change into my armor and wake up enough to face four people I'd rather not see. The narrow bed groaned under my weight as I struggled to cram my hand into the crack between the wall and the bed.

Inhaling slowly, the aqua blue powder drifted towards my face with a mind of its own.

The Night Mother was still situated in Cicero's room. As soon as I opened the door the Jester jumped, scampering back as if I had caught him doing something forbidden.

"Ah, the Listener!" he said, then seemed to fixate on a place a few feet above my head. His eyes dilated, as if relaxing into the picture.

I turned only to find blank stone, and found that Cicero was quite content to study it like a work of art.

"Beat it!" I growled shoving a fist in his face on impulse.

"Cicero did not mean to displease...The Listener," he spoke quite quickly. He scanned my heated glare for acceptance, but finding none he was left no other choice but to do as he was told.

Listener, you make me doubt you, The Night Mother Spoke as the door clicked shut.

"And what reasons have I given you, Night Mother?" I asked, sadness crossing my heart. I had come to be quite fond of the Dark Brotherhood, despite its shortcomings.

You gamble with The Mad One, keep him close even here.

I looked to the ground, "What can I say?"

Do you wish to honor Sithis?

"Can I not honor both?"

The Night Mother did not give an immediate response. I could see those smoldering eyes beyond the skeleton, though perhaps they wavered just once. How do you intend to do such a thing?

"When I kill, it is for Sithis. I am devoted to rebuilding the Dark Brotherhood. Under my influence it will flourish, and retain the morals of old. The tenents will not be forgotten, your voice will never go unheard. Could you ask more of me?"

It appeared we were at a stand still.

What do you plan to do?

"Excuse me?"

What are the next steps you are going to take to return The Dark Brotherhood to its former glory? Her voice was suddenly clear and much different, and close. Turning, I found a spectral woman regarding me with something between mischief and annoyance.

I wiped the sweat from my palms as I prepared myself to enter the chambers that contained what I hoped to turn into the black hand. There was no way to walk away at this point, so I placed a firm hand on my stomach to calm the tremors. Straightening my shoulders, I built an electric charge in the palm of my hand and burst the doors open.

As chance would have it, the first two faces I alighted on were the most welcome and most dreaded. "Babette, Nazir, I'm pleased to see you chose to come," I greeted, putting on my best smile.

"Of course we would; I'ts not everyday that one is asked to be a member of The Black Hand," Nazir indulged, allowing a small laugh to escape his lips. He raised an almost empty glass of wine, already reaching for a nearly empty bottle.

"Thank you, Listener," Babette nodded, giggling along with her companion.

"Yes, Hello. Listener, I'm excited to hear what you have to say," Astrid purred from her place beside Arnbjorn.

"Thank you for that, Astrid," I replied evenly, meeting her gaze with cool steel. It did matter if neither of us was prepared for it; I was the new matron. And I was going to make sure everyone knew it.