"Only Once" by Sailor Event Horizon
Hello! This is my first Gundam Wing fanfic' so
I'd appreciate some feedback! Would you mind? ^_^
Author's Notes: A good online friend of mine said that
since this was based on an anime, that it was obvious
that the characters would be speaking Japanese. I was
going to make some adjustments when I decided not to.
In my own little warped world, they speak English. This
is for two reasons: One, the GW cast is from
international backgrounds and English is the most widely
spoken language in the world. (unlike Tenchi Muyo or
Sailor Moon where it is *definitely* obvious that they
have speak Japanese) Two, every time I see a computer
screen in, or something of a similar nature, in Gundam
Wing, the text is always in English, at least when *I*
see them, it is.
Ah! But if you read this, friend (I don't know if
they would like her name said), please don't think that I
don't appreciate you criticism! I do! I appreciate it
very much!
Rating: PG (some damns)
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I do not own Mobile Suit: Gundam
Wing. It is copyrighted to Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu
Agency.
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It was odd... this mission... Everything that had
happened in the mission was strange. Five of the
things that had happened went against the laws of
physics. Probably more than that.
Their mothers, believe it or not--even now, Heero
still wasn't sure if he did, had somehow been brought
from the past into their time, 199 AC. Heero's, Duo's,
Trowa's, Quatre's-which had been quite a shock,
considering that Quatre had always believed he was a
test tube baby, and Wufei's. It had probably affected
Heero, Duo, and Quatre the most. Trowa had been told
about his parents from Catherine and had seen pictures.
Wufei, well, for all the others knew, his mother might
still be alive.
Mother. The word was foreign to Heero. Even
Okaa-chan, the same word in his own native language,
was foreign. He had never had parents. And if he had,
then he certainly didn't remember them. The closest
Heero had ever had to a parent would have to have been
Odin Lowe. The man who had taught him how to kill.
The man who had taught him to always live by his
emotions. But even he wasn't really a father figure...
not really.
"Hey, try to act more like my son."
"..."
"You're breaching the contract."
"Oh... Rodger, 'Dad.'"
But he supposed it was the ending that mattered
to him the most.
"A-all these years... with you... w-weren't...
so... bad..."
Dr. J? Only a mentor. A teacher. Someone to
use and then discard. Not like a parent. A parent, a
mother in particular, was someone whom you could go
back to. At least, if that parent did their job right.
At least that's what he heard. Heero wasn't an expert
on the subject. Nor did he claim to be. After
everything that had gone on in Relena's life, everytime
she needed a well-earned break, she would go to her
mother's house, where Mrs. Dorlian would be waiting
with open arms. So he supposed that that's what
mothers do. He wouldn't know. He'd never had one.
Somehow, the pilots, Relena, and the pilots'...
mothers-why was it still so hard to comprehend that?
They had been brought to a strange, deserted place. Of
course, somehow, they found out who they were. Before
the little "trip" they had been forced to go on, Trowa
recognized Mrs. Bloom from a picture of Catherine's.
Wufei didn't need a picture; he had grown up with Mrs.
Chang. Quatre, like Trowa, recognized Mrs. Winner from
a picture. But unlike Trowa, it hadn't been shown to
him, he had found it while going through old junk and
antiques he had found. Heero did a background check,
just to be sure, on his laptop on all five women.
Right down to their fingerprints. They were telling
the truth. Either that or the whole information world
had conspired against the pilots. Which, of course,
was out of the question. Much to Heero's utter
displeasure and aggravation. (When Heero tried to
think of how he was going to write that in his records,
all he got for his troubles was a lot of aggravation.
None of what happened made any sense. He wasn't even
sure if any of it did happen, it was so confusing.)
But it was over. The mission, almost complete.
Only one thing left. Ms. Hino had been taken from her
time while on the way to the airport. She had been,
and now was again, headed to the L1 Cluster. When
asked for her exact destination, she asked for a
connection flight with a *lot* of connections and paid
for the one-way ticket with the amount that was the
price of the whole flight. Obviously, she didn't know
her exact destination. Either that or she didn't want
anybody to know. Whatever the reason, the confused
ticket lady gave Annika her boarding pass and proceeded
to ask the next person in line, "And where will you be
heading to, Sir?"
After Hino Annika had gotten a seat in the
waiting area, the pilots, and Relena proceeded to
leave. (They had wanted to make sure that no further
incidents would hinder the women so they had used the
device that had taken them to.... where ever and when
ever they had been taken to.. to return all of the
women back to there proper time. They were going in
chronological order, so after this last stop, it was
back home, to 199 AC.) Heero had tried to leave with
the others, but Duo had turned around and said that he
couldn't let him pass up this opportunity. He said if
Heero did, he'd regret it. Heero had a chance to talk
with his *mother*. A woman, whom by all accounts and
references had died in 182 AC. Heero had tried to
disagree when Relena came back and told Heero that this
was a once in a lifetime chance. "Opportunity knocks
only once, Heero, it doesn't beg." Finally accepting
the fact that neither Duo nor Relena (or the other
pilots for that matter, who were watching from a safe
distance) would let him go until Annika had boarded her
flight, he subdued and went back to the waiting area.
Duo and Relena looked at each other before glancing
back at Heero who had taken a seat across from Annika.
When they were confident that Heero would stay, they
turned and left to join the others, who had already
gone outside to wait for him.
And that's exactly where Heero found himself now.
In an airport. In a waiting area. With his arms
crossed. Sitting across from his... mother. Trying his
damnedest not to look at her.
Annika on the other hand was looking calmly at
her folded hands. What could she say? She knew he
didn't want to be here. At least that's what it seemed
like to her. She didn't know when she was going to
die, but she knew it had to be sometime within the next
three years, give or take a few months. Her own son
didn't even remember her! The most logical reason to
her was that she had been separated from him somehow at
a very young age. And before age three filled that
requirement. She couldn't comprehend abandoning him.
Maybe before, but not now. How could she when he was
the very reason she had retired from her father's
services as his diplomatic aide? She had tried to
leave two months ago but it was then that... whatever or
whoever it was decided to shanghai her. She couldn't
wait any longer. She was going to start showing in a
few weeks. It had to be now. She almost wished that
she could tell him. But that would only make it more
awkward for him. And her. Finally, she couldn't take
it anymore. She looked up, calmly, with only fainted
trace of a smile on her face.
"Look, I don't know about you, but I want to make
the most of this. Goodness knows, I obviously won't be
around to do so later." She had spoken in Japanese,
their native tongue.
Heero looked over to her, with no expression on
his face. Silent. His eyes flickered as he looked
from one eye to the other.
Taking his silence as a go-ahead, she started,
"From what I gathered during our little "expedition"
you were raised-"
"Trained," he corrected flatly. He looked away,
behind her and to his right, at all the people passing
by the area. But he wasn't really looking, not really.
"Trained then," she continued, "by a scientist,
Dr. J. Was he the only person you had while you were
growing up?"
"No."
Annika drew a breath and pursed her lips. This
isn't going to be easy, she thought. She opened her
mouth to say something more but he beat her to it.
"A man named Odin Lowe also raised me." He still
didn't look at her. He just continued to stare at all
the passing people.
She was silent for a moment. Then she looked
away in thought. "Odin Lowe," she thought aloud. "I
don't think I've ever heard that name..."
"I'm not surprised. But if the Historical
Society had their way, you would have," his voice
didn't change, same pitch and tone for every syllable.
She looked up at him, her eyes flickering with
curiosity, wondering what he meant by that. "Really?"
she said softly. "Is that so, Heero-kun?" He looked
at her when he heard the familiar use of his name, but
he said nothing and turned his head again. Silence.
Annika decided to change the subject. "Your name,
Heero Yuy. Did Dr. J choose it for you or did you take
it on yourself, when you became a pilot?"
"Dr. J." Flicker. "He said I needed a codename
and that the assassinated leader would be a fitting
one. I didn't care either way."
"I see." She leaned back, trying to untense her
muscles. "I met Heero Yuy once." She saw his eyes
look at her for a moment. "It was very brief, I was no
older than you at the time, maybe younger. My father,
a small-time ambassador, but an ambassador none-the-
less, was introduced to him by one of the bigger fish.
He shook hands with him, then turned and introduced me.
'Mr. Yuy, I'd like you to meet my aide, Hino Annika.'
'"Hino?" he asked. 'Your daughter?' I never liked
being talked about as though I wasn't there when I was
so I answered, without thinking of how bold it might
sound, 'Yes, sir. May I say it's an honor meet you.'
Mr. Yuy then said the necessary formalities, like 'It's
a pleasure to meet you, too' and all that before
heading on his way to more important matters." Annika
finally stopped and looked away, as though to look at
something else, but she wasn't really seeing whatever
it was. She was seeing something entirely different.
"He was the leader of the colonies for a reason. He
was good with people and had a certain air about him
that you couldn't help but respect." She shook her
head as though to free her mind from the prison of
memories. "I suppose I should feel honored, to have
met him." She looked back up, and to her small
surprise, found Heero still looking at her. She
smiled. He looked away again. She sighed. No point
giving up now, Annika dear. "It's a pity he died. He
could have done wonders if he hadn't been
assassinated." She looked over to the wall, where a
poster hung. Heero followed her gaze. It was of Heero
Yuy, with a bloodstain on his shirt over his heart.
She gave a tight smile, appreciating the irony. "Even
now, people think that if they find his killer, they'll
somehow get him back." She shook her head. "Fools,"
she muttered. Then she sighed, "but then again, who
knows? Maybe they will catch him."
Heero finally spoke again, but he didn't look at
her. He still kept his eyes focused on the poster, but
not really. "They won't catch him."
Annika looked at her grown son, as hard as it was
for her to believe it. "They won't? How do you know?
The police say that the man couldn't have been any
older than 35, considering the speed that would have
been necessary for him to get away. If that's true,
he'll only be around 50 in your time. That's hardly
old enough to die from old age."
"It doesn't matter. He'll be dead within 10
years." He turned his head back to the crowds.
She frowned. "How do you know?"
"Botched mission."
"What do you mean?" She leaned forward and
brought an elbow up onto her knee.
"I mean that he's going to get caught while doing
a job, get shot, and die." He scowled and looked at
her, "Do I have to make it any clearer than that for
you?"
Her frowned deepened. "Look, I get that part.
I'm not stupid. What I mean is, how would you know
that he 'botched' a mission?"
Heero turned his head away. "I'm an assassin.
We hear about these things."
"Liar."
His eyes dropped and looked as far away form her
as they could. Then he looked back at Annika. His
voice was clear and concise. "Like I said, if the
Historical Society had their way, you would have heard
of him before." Heero looked away again.
Annika gasped. "Na-?" Her eyes became wide. No
way. It wasn't possible. Her son. Her son was going
to be raised by Heero Yuy's assassin!? In a corner of
her mind, she appreciated the irony of this, but
somehow this... situation was just too ironic to even
crack a smile over. Oh, what a cruel hand Fate had
given her child. Her son, her only child as far she
knew, was destined to be a killer, an emotionless
soldier. It wasn't fair... he was so kind, too pure.
Annika didn't want to talk about it any longer, so she
changed the subject again.
"I... see. A-um.. Well. Why- Why don't you tell
me about... um.. about your friends, the other pilots.
What do you think of them?" You idiot, she scolded
herself. You were training to be an ambassador,
someone whose always in control of their emotions and
here you are as transparent as glass! Baka!
Heero glanced over at her for a quick moment and
then turned his eyes back. His arms were still crossed
and his face still blank safe for the slight, seemingly
ever-present frown. He saw that Annika's face was
calm. She looked like she had just asked about the
weather or some other equally unimportant topic. "What
do you want to know and about who?" Heero flatly asked.
She took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
"Trowa. Tell me about Trowa, why don't you? You two
seem to be alike in a lot of ways. You're both quiet,
aren't you? What do think of him?" She was trying to
be pleasant for all she was worth.
Heero resisted the urge to look at her again and
just forced his gaze farther from her. "He's
intelligent. And very perceptive. He only talks when
he has something to say. Usually that something is
something you should listen to." He spared her a quick
glance. "If you're smart, that is."
"Really? Well, you seem to think highly of him."
"I do."
"What about Quatre? What about him? What do
think of him?" she tilted her head.
Heero didn't bother looking at her this time.
"He too, is perceptive, but not as much as Trowa. He's
almost an innocent the way he is but considering the
things that he's done, that isn't possible. He's just
as deadly as the rest of us. He's amazing when it
comes to strategics. He's a genius. But he lets his
kindness get in the way. He was trained to be a Gundam
pilot, like the rest of us, but he never learned to
control it until the war. He never had to."
"Why do you say that? Is it because he allowed
soldiers to surrender before fighting them?"
"I say it because it's the truth. I can't
explain it as well Trowa could, I'm not as eloquent
with words like he is. But it is the truth. During
the war, he somehow came under the impression that he
should be ashamed of his kindness and that he should
run from it, when that isn't right at all."
"But you said he learned to control it. Isn't
that the same thing?"
"...No."
Her gaze lowered, but only for second. "I see...
Alright then, how about Relena?"
"She's not a pilot," Heero scowled.
"No, but she's a friend." Annika gave a slight
smile. "Possibly more from what I saw."
"..."
"Come on. Here. Here's an example: You hate it
when people even put their hand on your shoulder, even
if it's only a kind gesture. Hell, *especially* when
it's a kind gesture. When Relena did so, you didn't
even bother to give her dirty looks." Her smile got
bigger. "And I highly doubt it's because you hardly
thought her worth the trouble."
Heero's scowl deepened as he allowed his unruly
bangs to pretty well cover his eyes. But Annika could
have sworn that she saw an ever-so-light brush of color
stain his face. He wasn't getting out of this one and
he knew it. Just by not answering her he had gotten
himself into a corner. Finally, he broke the silence
and said harshly, "She knows me."
Annika tilted her head the other way and lowered
her head just a little bit, as though to try and look
beneath his bangs. "She knows you?"
"She knows me." Flicker.
Annika's expression softened, as did her voice.
"She is important to you?"
Heero refused to say anything. But his eyes did,
even if he wasn't looking at her.
She gave a soft smile. "I see." Heero haltingly
raised his gaze from the floor to Annika's eyes. They
met, held, and he dropped his eyes quick as lightening.
Annika just repeated, more to herself than to Heero, "I
see." Then she sat back again and prepared for another
question. Another person. "Tell me about Wufei. He
doesn't think too highly of women, it appears. What do
you think of him?"
Heero thought about his answer for a few moments
before responding. "He has a strong sense of
integrity. He is highly devoted to bettering himself
and to honor. His views on women are just results of
his upbringing. Since the wars ended, they have slowly
gotten better due to his constant exposure to the
opposite sex as a result of his work as a Preventer."
"I see." Annika paused. "I guess there's only
one person left, ne?" She leaned forward again. "So
tell me about Duo. He's your best friend. You should
be able to talk a lot about him, right?" She smiled.
Heero just stared at the passing people again.
But he wasn't really focused on them. It seemed like
he was looking at something beyond them. His eyes
flickered as he seemed to watch whatever it was he was
watching. Then he answered. "He's my best friend,
yes. If you want to call him that."
She frowned. "If I want to call him that? What
do you mean?"
He looked at her for a moment before turning his
eyes back to the passing people. "'Friends' implies a
mutual trust and knowledge. But limited."
"Limited?"
"Yes, you trust them with a lot of things, but
hardly everything.
"I thought you trusted Duo with your life."
"I do. But I'm not talking about that."
Frown. "Then what are you talking about."
Pause. "....Inner demons."
No response.
"I trust him to know me."
".....Like Relena?"
Pause. "Yes.... Except that Duo learned first
hand. Relena has to be told or shown most of them.
Duo understands."
"Why the difference?"
"Between what? Duo and Relena?"
"No, between best friends and what you claim to
have with Duo."
"I told you."
"But I don't understand."
"We're soldiers. We've fought together. He
knows what drives me just like I know what drives him."
"You tell him everything?"
"No."
"But I thought you said you trust him to know
you."
"I do. I trust him to know me without being
told."
Annika looked at him. Hard. She studied him.
"So you're not best friends?"
"We're closer."
She leaned back. Carefully, slowly, with a
thoughtful look on her face, "You know... it's not often
you hear a man say such things, especially in this day
and age. I can see why you don't say them out loud.
People might get the wrong impression, if you know what
I mean."
He snorted, "What people think is of no
consequence to me."
She nodded, "I see that."
He looked at her. "You seem to see many things."
She smiled. He looked away. Her smile fell. Annika
leaned forward once more.
"Tell me, please," she asked softly, "what would
you do if you lost either one of them?"
He continued to not look at her and said blandly,
"Probably kill myself."
"Is that a joke?" she frowned.
He turned his head to look at her. Flicker.
"Did it sound like one?" he asked flatly. She just
looked at him. Hard. She looked into his eyes and
tried to figure out if he was lying or not. This time...
it was she who looked away.
When she and the other women had come to that
time, so far in the future, she heard things. And saw
things. Sometimes it would be Duo, talking with Relena
about certain... things... that Heero was doing. Like
flipping his gun. He would hold it by the handle, flip
it, catch it by the end of the barrel, flip it, catch
by the handle, flip it, over and over and over again,
and stare at it, while sitting on a bay window. For an
hour or more. Usually more from what she heard.
Sometimes it would be about the length of time he
washed his hands. Once she thought she heard Duo swore
that he just stood in the bathroom washing his hands
for 45 minutes. He said he probably would have kept on
doing it if he hadn't come in and subtly handed him a
towel while talking about something else. And other
things... little, subtle things... She had heard the boy
named Trowa call it Post War Syndrome.. or was it
Shock? She couldn't remember.... The war.. the wars...
they did this to him... My son, she thought sadly. She
wrapped her arms around herself.
Somehow, even after all of this went through her
head, she managed to speak. "The others, the pilots,
they look up to you. They respect you." She somehow
found the courage to look up at him again.
But by the time she did, he had looked away
again. "They put me on a damn pedestal." His words
said that he resented it. But his tone, as slight as
it was, hinted that he was sorry about it. Saddened.
"They'll only get themselves killed because of it..."
"They mean a lot to you?" It was more of a
statement than a question. It was treated as such.
"..."
"I see." Finally, curiosity got the better of
her. It had been itching at the back of her mind the
whole time now. What was it that he kept looking at?
She started to slowly turn her head, not taking
her eyes of him. When she had turned her body enough
so that she could see, she quickly followed his gaze to
what she assumed would be a wall.
She nearly choked.
It was a play area, for children. Small children,
under seven or eight. On the other side of the hallway.
All this time, she had thought that he was just
staring, or not staring necessarily, at the passing
people. But he hadn't been paying the least bit of
attention to them... Only to the children. Only to
their smiles. Their laughs.
She turned back around. Heart-broken. She
looked and saw that he was still watching. There was
something so sad miserable about him watching them,
something she didn't understand. She bowed her head,
her unruly brown bangs getting in the way of her
tearful Prussian blue eyes.
"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1
Cluster, please have your carry-on luggage ready, we'll
loading rows 30 through 20 in just a moment. I repeat,
all passengers.... "
Annika didn't hear the rest. But she did hear
Heero stand up. She quickly dried her eyes and looked
up at him. "It's time for you to go. I believe your
seat number is 23-C."
She regained her wits and quickly exclaimed, "Oh!
Oh, yes.. yes that's right... 23-C...." She stood up.
They looked at each other. Neither knew what
quite to say. Finally, she leaped into his arms and
flung her arms around his neck, much to his surprise.
She hugged him for all she was worth. Ambassador
trainee be damned, she was a mother, besides, she was
retired wasn't she?
Heero took a deep breath. He didn't know what to
do... To say he was surprised would have been an
understatement.
Japanese believe more in showing their feelings
than telling them, so saying "I love you" was pretty
uncommon. But she didn't have time to show him. Not
this grown version anyway. She whispered, "I love you,
Heero... Makoto. Don't forget that..."
She then released him and stood back, tears
showing in her eyes. She bent down to pick up her
suitcase and when she stood back up, her tears were
gone. Just that calm, collected expression that Heero
had seen at the beginning of their conversation. She
looked him in the eye and said almost wistfully, "You
know, I don't know whether to say "ja ne" or
"Sayonara."
Heero stood there, silent. His eyes flickered as
he looked from one eye to the other. Then he said,
"Sayonara."
She gave a small smile and nodded. "Of course.
Sayonara, Makoto."
He nodded also, "Sayonara, Annika."
She looked at him for only one more moment before
the voice came over the speakers again.
"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1
Cluster, we are now loading rows 30 through 20. I
repeat, all passengers... "
Annika said sayonara one more time before moving
past him and to the door where a young man was taking
boarding passes. She looked back only once, at the
door, before walking down the long corridor.
Heero stood there. Watching. Waiting until she
was out of sight. Then he, too, turned and walked
away, down another corridor that lead outside, to his
friends, to his...
He shook his head... Makoto. So that's what she
named me, he thought. "Hmph." Makoto.
Sincerity.
Hello! This is my first Gundam Wing fanfic' so
I'd appreciate some feedback! Would you mind? ^_^
Author's Notes: A good online friend of mine said that
since this was based on an anime, that it was obvious
that the characters would be speaking Japanese. I was
going to make some adjustments when I decided not to.
In my own little warped world, they speak English. This
is for two reasons: One, the GW cast is from
international backgrounds and English is the most widely
spoken language in the world. (unlike Tenchi Muyo or
Sailor Moon where it is *definitely* obvious that they
have speak Japanese) Two, every time I see a computer
screen in, or something of a similar nature, in Gundam
Wing, the text is always in English, at least when *I*
see them, it is.
Ah! But if you read this, friend (I don't know if
they would like her name said), please don't think that I
don't appreciate you criticism! I do! I appreciate it
very much!
Rating: PG (some damns)
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I do not own Mobile Suit: Gundam
Wing. It is copyrighted to Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu
Agency.
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It was odd... this mission... Everything that had
happened in the mission was strange. Five of the
things that had happened went against the laws of
physics. Probably more than that.
Their mothers, believe it or not--even now, Heero
still wasn't sure if he did, had somehow been brought
from the past into their time, 199 AC. Heero's, Duo's,
Trowa's, Quatre's-which had been quite a shock,
considering that Quatre had always believed he was a
test tube baby, and Wufei's. It had probably affected
Heero, Duo, and Quatre the most. Trowa had been told
about his parents from Catherine and had seen pictures.
Wufei, well, for all the others knew, his mother might
still be alive.
Mother. The word was foreign to Heero. Even
Okaa-chan, the same word in his own native language,
was foreign. He had never had parents. And if he had,
then he certainly didn't remember them. The closest
Heero had ever had to a parent would have to have been
Odin Lowe. The man who had taught him how to kill.
The man who had taught him to always live by his
emotions. But even he wasn't really a father figure...
not really.
"Hey, try to act more like my son."
"..."
"You're breaching the contract."
"Oh... Rodger, 'Dad.'"
But he supposed it was the ending that mattered
to him the most.
"A-all these years... with you... w-weren't...
so... bad..."
Dr. J? Only a mentor. A teacher. Someone to
use and then discard. Not like a parent. A parent, a
mother in particular, was someone whom you could go
back to. At least, if that parent did their job right.
At least that's what he heard. Heero wasn't an expert
on the subject. Nor did he claim to be. After
everything that had gone on in Relena's life, everytime
she needed a well-earned break, she would go to her
mother's house, where Mrs. Dorlian would be waiting
with open arms. So he supposed that that's what
mothers do. He wouldn't know. He'd never had one.
Somehow, the pilots, Relena, and the pilots'...
mothers-why was it still so hard to comprehend that?
They had been brought to a strange, deserted place. Of
course, somehow, they found out who they were. Before
the little "trip" they had been forced to go on, Trowa
recognized Mrs. Bloom from a picture of Catherine's.
Wufei didn't need a picture; he had grown up with Mrs.
Chang. Quatre, like Trowa, recognized Mrs. Winner from
a picture. But unlike Trowa, it hadn't been shown to
him, he had found it while going through old junk and
antiques he had found. Heero did a background check,
just to be sure, on his laptop on all five women.
Right down to their fingerprints. They were telling
the truth. Either that or the whole information world
had conspired against the pilots. Which, of course,
was out of the question. Much to Heero's utter
displeasure and aggravation. (When Heero tried to
think of how he was going to write that in his records,
all he got for his troubles was a lot of aggravation.
None of what happened made any sense. He wasn't even
sure if any of it did happen, it was so confusing.)
But it was over. The mission, almost complete.
Only one thing left. Ms. Hino had been taken from her
time while on the way to the airport. She had been,
and now was again, headed to the L1 Cluster. When
asked for her exact destination, she asked for a
connection flight with a *lot* of connections and paid
for the one-way ticket with the amount that was the
price of the whole flight. Obviously, she didn't know
her exact destination. Either that or she didn't want
anybody to know. Whatever the reason, the confused
ticket lady gave Annika her boarding pass and proceeded
to ask the next person in line, "And where will you be
heading to, Sir?"
After Hino Annika had gotten a seat in the
waiting area, the pilots, and Relena proceeded to
leave. (They had wanted to make sure that no further
incidents would hinder the women so they had used the
device that had taken them to.... where ever and when
ever they had been taken to.. to return all of the
women back to there proper time. They were going in
chronological order, so after this last stop, it was
back home, to 199 AC.) Heero had tried to leave with
the others, but Duo had turned around and said that he
couldn't let him pass up this opportunity. He said if
Heero did, he'd regret it. Heero had a chance to talk
with his *mother*. A woman, whom by all accounts and
references had died in 182 AC. Heero had tried to
disagree when Relena came back and told Heero that this
was a once in a lifetime chance. "Opportunity knocks
only once, Heero, it doesn't beg." Finally accepting
the fact that neither Duo nor Relena (or the other
pilots for that matter, who were watching from a safe
distance) would let him go until Annika had boarded her
flight, he subdued and went back to the waiting area.
Duo and Relena looked at each other before glancing
back at Heero who had taken a seat across from Annika.
When they were confident that Heero would stay, they
turned and left to join the others, who had already
gone outside to wait for him.
And that's exactly where Heero found himself now.
In an airport. In a waiting area. With his arms
crossed. Sitting across from his... mother. Trying his
damnedest not to look at her.
Annika on the other hand was looking calmly at
her folded hands. What could she say? She knew he
didn't want to be here. At least that's what it seemed
like to her. She didn't know when she was going to
die, but she knew it had to be sometime within the next
three years, give or take a few months. Her own son
didn't even remember her! The most logical reason to
her was that she had been separated from him somehow at
a very young age. And before age three filled that
requirement. She couldn't comprehend abandoning him.
Maybe before, but not now. How could she when he was
the very reason she had retired from her father's
services as his diplomatic aide? She had tried to
leave two months ago but it was then that... whatever or
whoever it was decided to shanghai her. She couldn't
wait any longer. She was going to start showing in a
few weeks. It had to be now. She almost wished that
she could tell him. But that would only make it more
awkward for him. And her. Finally, she couldn't take
it anymore. She looked up, calmly, with only fainted
trace of a smile on her face.
"Look, I don't know about you, but I want to make
the most of this. Goodness knows, I obviously won't be
around to do so later." She had spoken in Japanese,
their native tongue.
Heero looked over to her, with no expression on
his face. Silent. His eyes flickered as he looked
from one eye to the other.
Taking his silence as a go-ahead, she started,
"From what I gathered during our little "expedition"
you were raised-"
"Trained," he corrected flatly. He looked away,
behind her and to his right, at all the people passing
by the area. But he wasn't really looking, not really.
"Trained then," she continued, "by a scientist,
Dr. J. Was he the only person you had while you were
growing up?"
"No."
Annika drew a breath and pursed her lips. This
isn't going to be easy, she thought. She opened her
mouth to say something more but he beat her to it.
"A man named Odin Lowe also raised me." He still
didn't look at her. He just continued to stare at all
the passing people.
She was silent for a moment. Then she looked
away in thought. "Odin Lowe," she thought aloud. "I
don't think I've ever heard that name..."
"I'm not surprised. But if the Historical
Society had their way, you would have," his voice
didn't change, same pitch and tone for every syllable.
She looked up at him, her eyes flickering with
curiosity, wondering what he meant by that. "Really?"
she said softly. "Is that so, Heero-kun?" He looked
at her when he heard the familiar use of his name, but
he said nothing and turned his head again. Silence.
Annika decided to change the subject. "Your name,
Heero Yuy. Did Dr. J choose it for you or did you take
it on yourself, when you became a pilot?"
"Dr. J." Flicker. "He said I needed a codename
and that the assassinated leader would be a fitting
one. I didn't care either way."
"I see." She leaned back, trying to untense her
muscles. "I met Heero Yuy once." She saw his eyes
look at her for a moment. "It was very brief, I was no
older than you at the time, maybe younger. My father,
a small-time ambassador, but an ambassador none-the-
less, was introduced to him by one of the bigger fish.
He shook hands with him, then turned and introduced me.
'Mr. Yuy, I'd like you to meet my aide, Hino Annika.'
'"Hino?" he asked. 'Your daughter?' I never liked
being talked about as though I wasn't there when I was
so I answered, without thinking of how bold it might
sound, 'Yes, sir. May I say it's an honor meet you.'
Mr. Yuy then said the necessary formalities, like 'It's
a pleasure to meet you, too' and all that before
heading on his way to more important matters." Annika
finally stopped and looked away, as though to look at
something else, but she wasn't really seeing whatever
it was. She was seeing something entirely different.
"He was the leader of the colonies for a reason. He
was good with people and had a certain air about him
that you couldn't help but respect." She shook her
head as though to free her mind from the prison of
memories. "I suppose I should feel honored, to have
met him." She looked back up, and to her small
surprise, found Heero still looking at her. She
smiled. He looked away again. She sighed. No point
giving up now, Annika dear. "It's a pity he died. He
could have done wonders if he hadn't been
assassinated." She looked over to the wall, where a
poster hung. Heero followed her gaze. It was of Heero
Yuy, with a bloodstain on his shirt over his heart.
She gave a tight smile, appreciating the irony. "Even
now, people think that if they find his killer, they'll
somehow get him back." She shook her head. "Fools,"
she muttered. Then she sighed, "but then again, who
knows? Maybe they will catch him."
Heero finally spoke again, but he didn't look at
her. He still kept his eyes focused on the poster, but
not really. "They won't catch him."
Annika looked at her grown son, as hard as it was
for her to believe it. "They won't? How do you know?
The police say that the man couldn't have been any
older than 35, considering the speed that would have
been necessary for him to get away. If that's true,
he'll only be around 50 in your time. That's hardly
old enough to die from old age."
"It doesn't matter. He'll be dead within 10
years." He turned his head back to the crowds.
She frowned. "How do you know?"
"Botched mission."
"What do you mean?" She leaned forward and
brought an elbow up onto her knee.
"I mean that he's going to get caught while doing
a job, get shot, and die." He scowled and looked at
her, "Do I have to make it any clearer than that for
you?"
Her frowned deepened. "Look, I get that part.
I'm not stupid. What I mean is, how would you know
that he 'botched' a mission?"
Heero turned his head away. "I'm an assassin.
We hear about these things."
"Liar."
His eyes dropped and looked as far away form her
as they could. Then he looked back at Annika. His
voice was clear and concise. "Like I said, if the
Historical Society had their way, you would have heard
of him before." Heero looked away again.
Annika gasped. "Na-?" Her eyes became wide. No
way. It wasn't possible. Her son. Her son was going
to be raised by Heero Yuy's assassin!? In a corner of
her mind, she appreciated the irony of this, but
somehow this... situation was just too ironic to even
crack a smile over. Oh, what a cruel hand Fate had
given her child. Her son, her only child as far she
knew, was destined to be a killer, an emotionless
soldier. It wasn't fair... he was so kind, too pure.
Annika didn't want to talk about it any longer, so she
changed the subject again.
"I... see. A-um.. Well. Why- Why don't you tell
me about... um.. about your friends, the other pilots.
What do you think of them?" You idiot, she scolded
herself. You were training to be an ambassador,
someone whose always in control of their emotions and
here you are as transparent as glass! Baka!
Heero glanced over at her for a quick moment and
then turned his eyes back. His arms were still crossed
and his face still blank safe for the slight, seemingly
ever-present frown. He saw that Annika's face was
calm. She looked like she had just asked about the
weather or some other equally unimportant topic. "What
do you want to know and about who?" Heero flatly asked.
She took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
"Trowa. Tell me about Trowa, why don't you? You two
seem to be alike in a lot of ways. You're both quiet,
aren't you? What do think of him?" She was trying to
be pleasant for all she was worth.
Heero resisted the urge to look at her again and
just forced his gaze farther from her. "He's
intelligent. And very perceptive. He only talks when
he has something to say. Usually that something is
something you should listen to." He spared her a quick
glance. "If you're smart, that is."
"Really? Well, you seem to think highly of him."
"I do."
"What about Quatre? What about him? What do
think of him?" she tilted her head.
Heero didn't bother looking at her this time.
"He too, is perceptive, but not as much as Trowa. He's
almost an innocent the way he is but considering the
things that he's done, that isn't possible. He's just
as deadly as the rest of us. He's amazing when it
comes to strategics. He's a genius. But he lets his
kindness get in the way. He was trained to be a Gundam
pilot, like the rest of us, but he never learned to
control it until the war. He never had to."
"Why do you say that? Is it because he allowed
soldiers to surrender before fighting them?"
"I say it because it's the truth. I can't
explain it as well Trowa could, I'm not as eloquent
with words like he is. But it is the truth. During
the war, he somehow came under the impression that he
should be ashamed of his kindness and that he should
run from it, when that isn't right at all."
"But you said he learned to control it. Isn't
that the same thing?"
"...No."
Her gaze lowered, but only for second. "I see...
Alright then, how about Relena?"
"She's not a pilot," Heero scowled.
"No, but she's a friend." Annika gave a slight
smile. "Possibly more from what I saw."
"..."
"Come on. Here. Here's an example: You hate it
when people even put their hand on your shoulder, even
if it's only a kind gesture. Hell, *especially* when
it's a kind gesture. When Relena did so, you didn't
even bother to give her dirty looks." Her smile got
bigger. "And I highly doubt it's because you hardly
thought her worth the trouble."
Heero's scowl deepened as he allowed his unruly
bangs to pretty well cover his eyes. But Annika could
have sworn that she saw an ever-so-light brush of color
stain his face. He wasn't getting out of this one and
he knew it. Just by not answering her he had gotten
himself into a corner. Finally, he broke the silence
and said harshly, "She knows me."
Annika tilted her head the other way and lowered
her head just a little bit, as though to try and look
beneath his bangs. "She knows you?"
"She knows me." Flicker.
Annika's expression softened, as did her voice.
"She is important to you?"
Heero refused to say anything. But his eyes did,
even if he wasn't looking at her.
She gave a soft smile. "I see." Heero haltingly
raised his gaze from the floor to Annika's eyes. They
met, held, and he dropped his eyes quick as lightening.
Annika just repeated, more to herself than to Heero, "I
see." Then she sat back again and prepared for another
question. Another person. "Tell me about Wufei. He
doesn't think too highly of women, it appears. What do
you think of him?"
Heero thought about his answer for a few moments
before responding. "He has a strong sense of
integrity. He is highly devoted to bettering himself
and to honor. His views on women are just results of
his upbringing. Since the wars ended, they have slowly
gotten better due to his constant exposure to the
opposite sex as a result of his work as a Preventer."
"I see." Annika paused. "I guess there's only
one person left, ne?" She leaned forward again. "So
tell me about Duo. He's your best friend. You should
be able to talk a lot about him, right?" She smiled.
Heero just stared at the passing people again.
But he wasn't really focused on them. It seemed like
he was looking at something beyond them. His eyes
flickered as he seemed to watch whatever it was he was
watching. Then he answered. "He's my best friend,
yes. If you want to call him that."
She frowned. "If I want to call him that? What
do you mean?"
He looked at her for a moment before turning his
eyes back to the passing people. "'Friends' implies a
mutual trust and knowledge. But limited."
"Limited?"
"Yes, you trust them with a lot of things, but
hardly everything.
"I thought you trusted Duo with your life."
"I do. But I'm not talking about that."
Frown. "Then what are you talking about."
Pause. "....Inner demons."
No response.
"I trust him to know me."
".....Like Relena?"
Pause. "Yes.... Except that Duo learned first
hand. Relena has to be told or shown most of them.
Duo understands."
"Why the difference?"
"Between what? Duo and Relena?"
"No, between best friends and what you claim to
have with Duo."
"I told you."
"But I don't understand."
"We're soldiers. We've fought together. He
knows what drives me just like I know what drives him."
"You tell him everything?"
"No."
"But I thought you said you trust him to know
you."
"I do. I trust him to know me without being
told."
Annika looked at him. Hard. She studied him.
"So you're not best friends?"
"We're closer."
She leaned back. Carefully, slowly, with a
thoughtful look on her face, "You know... it's not often
you hear a man say such things, especially in this day
and age. I can see why you don't say them out loud.
People might get the wrong impression, if you know what
I mean."
He snorted, "What people think is of no
consequence to me."
She nodded, "I see that."
He looked at her. "You seem to see many things."
She smiled. He looked away. Her smile fell. Annika
leaned forward once more.
"Tell me, please," she asked softly, "what would
you do if you lost either one of them?"
He continued to not look at her and said blandly,
"Probably kill myself."
"Is that a joke?" she frowned.
He turned his head to look at her. Flicker.
"Did it sound like one?" he asked flatly. She just
looked at him. Hard. She looked into his eyes and
tried to figure out if he was lying or not. This time...
it was she who looked away.
When she and the other women had come to that
time, so far in the future, she heard things. And saw
things. Sometimes it would be Duo, talking with Relena
about certain... things... that Heero was doing. Like
flipping his gun. He would hold it by the handle, flip
it, catch it by the end of the barrel, flip it, catch
by the handle, flip it, over and over and over again,
and stare at it, while sitting on a bay window. For an
hour or more. Usually more from what she heard.
Sometimes it would be about the length of time he
washed his hands. Once she thought she heard Duo swore
that he just stood in the bathroom washing his hands
for 45 minutes. He said he probably would have kept on
doing it if he hadn't come in and subtly handed him a
towel while talking about something else. And other
things... little, subtle things... She had heard the boy
named Trowa call it Post War Syndrome.. or was it
Shock? She couldn't remember.... The war.. the wars...
they did this to him... My son, she thought sadly. She
wrapped her arms around herself.
Somehow, even after all of this went through her
head, she managed to speak. "The others, the pilots,
they look up to you. They respect you." She somehow
found the courage to look up at him again.
But by the time she did, he had looked away
again. "They put me on a damn pedestal." His words
said that he resented it. But his tone, as slight as
it was, hinted that he was sorry about it. Saddened.
"They'll only get themselves killed because of it..."
"They mean a lot to you?" It was more of a
statement than a question. It was treated as such.
"..."
"I see." Finally, curiosity got the better of
her. It had been itching at the back of her mind the
whole time now. What was it that he kept looking at?
She started to slowly turn her head, not taking
her eyes of him. When she had turned her body enough
so that she could see, she quickly followed his gaze to
what she assumed would be a wall.
She nearly choked.
It was a play area, for children. Small children,
under seven or eight. On the other side of the hallway.
All this time, she had thought that he was just
staring, or not staring necessarily, at the passing
people. But he hadn't been paying the least bit of
attention to them... Only to the children. Only to
their smiles. Their laughs.
She turned back around. Heart-broken. She
looked and saw that he was still watching. There was
something so sad miserable about him watching them,
something she didn't understand. She bowed her head,
her unruly brown bangs getting in the way of her
tearful Prussian blue eyes.
"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1
Cluster, please have your carry-on luggage ready, we'll
loading rows 30 through 20 in just a moment. I repeat,
all passengers.... "
Annika didn't hear the rest. But she did hear
Heero stand up. She quickly dried her eyes and looked
up at him. "It's time for you to go. I believe your
seat number is 23-C."
She regained her wits and quickly exclaimed, "Oh!
Oh, yes.. yes that's right... 23-C...." She stood up.
They looked at each other. Neither knew what
quite to say. Finally, she leaped into his arms and
flung her arms around his neck, much to his surprise.
She hugged him for all she was worth. Ambassador
trainee be damned, she was a mother, besides, she was
retired wasn't she?
Heero took a deep breath. He didn't know what to
do... To say he was surprised would have been an
understatement.
Japanese believe more in showing their feelings
than telling them, so saying "I love you" was pretty
uncommon. But she didn't have time to show him. Not
this grown version anyway. She whispered, "I love you,
Heero... Makoto. Don't forget that..."
She then released him and stood back, tears
showing in her eyes. She bent down to pick up her
suitcase and when she stood back up, her tears were
gone. Just that calm, collected expression that Heero
had seen at the beginning of their conversation. She
looked him in the eye and said almost wistfully, "You
know, I don't know whether to say "ja ne" or
"Sayonara."
Heero stood there, silent. His eyes flickered as
he looked from one eye to the other. Then he said,
"Sayonara."
She gave a small smile and nodded. "Of course.
Sayonara, Makoto."
He nodded also, "Sayonara, Annika."
She looked at him for only one more moment before
the voice came over the speakers again.
"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1
Cluster, we are now loading rows 30 through 20. I
repeat, all passengers... "
Annika said sayonara one more time before moving
past him and to the door where a young man was taking
boarding passes. She looked back only once, at the
door, before walking down the long corridor.
Heero stood there. Watching. Waiting until she
was out of sight. Then he, too, turned and walked
away, down another corridor that lead outside, to his
friends, to his...
He shook his head... Makoto. So that's what she
named me, he thought. "Hmph." Makoto.
Sincerity.