With shaking hands, she took both of Tony's hands in hers. "I know it's usually tradition for the groom to go first, but the way I'm shaking, I may not last that long." The assembled congregation laughed quietly. "I'm not sure whose idea it was to...um...add our own vows to the ceremony."
Tony's eyes sparkled as he whispered, "Yours."
"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in. I spent hours..." she rolled her eyes dramatically, "and I couldn't come up with anything. So...uh...I decided to get some help from the ones who know you best. I went to see Abby and I even remember to bring a Caf-Pow with me." Again the assembly laughed. "I asked her, 'What do I say to Tony to show him how much I love him?' She looked at me and said, 'Tell him that you want to spend your life with him. That you'll never leave him...and just remember, I know how to kill someone and leave no evidence and no body." She looked at Abby in the front row who nodded emphatically and this time the laughter was louder.
"So I thought maybe I'd ask Ducky. He told me this lovely story about a wedding he had attended in Copenhagen." Again, the congregation laughed knowing how much Ducky loved his stories. "Then, he said, 'My dear, you don't have to say anything special. The ceremony in itself shows how committed the two of you are to your relationship and how in love you are.' Of course, Jimmy spoke up and said that I could really prove my commitment, if I'd let you wear your favorite shirt to the wedding. No matter how much I love you, not a chance."
"Thanks for trying, Black Lung." Tony and Jimmy exchanged thumbs up signs as the audience laughed.
"Then Ducky and he told me this really...gross...story about what happened to a runaway bride who proved unfaithful. They can be scary at times." Ducky and Jimmy exchanged satisfied glances. "Since I was still at a loss, I thought I'll go see McGee. He's Mr. Gemcity, I mean, who's better to help me? I forgot about his strong streak of integrity. He told me since he refused to help you write yours, he couldn't in good conscience help me with mine. Then he told me how badly someone's personal and financial life can be destroyed by being declared 'dead'." Tim blushed as Abby punched him lightly on the arm. Even Gibbs was laughing at this point.
"Since I was doing so well..." she laughed, "I decided to talk to Ziva. She looked right at me and said, 'Is that not the purpose of the ceremony? In my country, the words have been handed down for hundreds of years. Do you not have traditional vows?' When I tried to explain, she suggested that if we were not satisfied with the vows of our country, we consider converting as hers were more binding. Then she told me she knows nineteen ways to kill a person using a paperclip and that she was certain she could figure out at least fifteen using a boutonniere pin." Ziva simply tilted her head to the side smugly.
"Then as I was leaving, I ran into Gibbs in "his office". I guess I was looking a little stressed, cause he asked first if Abby reminded me that she could leave no evidence and I said 'Yes'. Then he asked if Ducky had told me the runaway bride story and I added that Jimmy helped. He asked if I had talked to McGee and when I said yes, he asked if I'd been told about how easy it was to declare someone dead. Last, he asked if Ziva had told me how many ways she could kill with a paperclip. It was then that I realized how well Gibbs knows his team and I thought, he's the perfect person to ask about my vows. I mean, I had been a bit hesitant given his track record..." Gibbs shook his head as everyone else laughed.
"But he gave me great advice. He told me, that no matter what I said, words weren't the most important part. It's living up to them; the actions that really count. Gibbs told me the secret to a relationship is: 'Don't lie to him. Remember, that his happiness is as important as yours and that you can only make that happen by working together. And most importantly, if he does something stupid or isn't paying attention, slap him behind the head'."
"Gee, thanks, Boss." Tony said wryly.
When the laughter faded, she looked directly into Tony's eyes. "I had always known how special you were, Very Special Agent; but your family is just as special. You have an wonderful uncle, a loyal cousin, two fiercely protective and scary sisters, a geeky, but frightening brother and an amazing father. I can't believe that you are willing to share them with me. They made me realize what I needed to say. I love you, Anthony David DiNozzo, Jr. I will dedicate the rest of my life to showing you that every day." Tears in his eyes, Tony didn't wait for the end of the vows and leaned forward gently kissing his bride, while "his family" looked on beaming.