So the other day I was in a bar and saw some odd names for cocktails on the menu which got me thinking and inspired this. This will be a multi-fic (although all the chapters will be quite small), and it will majorly just consist of the duo sharing jabs at one another over the bar – but hey, that's fun right?

Pairings: Bixlow/Lisanna-centric. Some Freed/Mirajane. Perhaps a little of Elfman/Evergreen – shall see.

WARNING: Many innuendos and dirty drink names ahead!

Multiple Screaming Orgasm

. . . . .

"I'd like a Multiple Screaming Orgasm please."

The white haired girl behind the bar promptly jumped an inch in the air at the voice besides her ear, letting out a small scream before quickly trying to regain her hold on the glass in her hands. Meanwhile, maniacal laughter flew from behind as the oldest member of the Raijinshuu sat back in his bar stool with triumphant.

Despite her efforts, there was a resounding 'crash' as glass met the floor, sending the man into more laughter behind her. Spinning around, the young girl planted both hands on either side of her hips, frowning at the older man.

"That wasn't funny Bixlow."

"I beg to differ." He replied, grinning wildly and tongue hanging loose as his dolls reiterated his point. "The scream was nicely done actually. Now I'll have my multiple orgasm too please."

She sighed, rolling her eyes at the comment as she grabbed a cloth from the bar, unlike others in the Guild she didn't allow herself to be affected by Bixlow's snide comments. They were harmless after all. Perverted and degrading at times, sure… But at least he didn't grope them unlike the Master.

"I'll make the cocktail once I've cleaned this up." She replied. "Which was your fault by the way."

Bixlow rolled his eyes from beneath his visor, propping one elbow on the bar and supporting his head with a hand as he waited. Lisanna muttered to herself as she bent down and began collecting the glass shards in her hands, then proceeding to mop up any spilt liquid. The young man sat with a bored expression on his face, eyes wandering across the guild before they returned to the stand-in barmaid for today (her elder sister Mirajane was away for this afternoon).

As she knelt and pushed the cloth back and forth on the floor, he suddenly smirked, gaining an idea. "Great ass."

She flinched, head snapping around and blue eyes staring at him wide-eyed. He had to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from bursting into laughter.

"W-What?"

"I said can you make an Ass." He retorted with a neutral face. "You know, the drink."

"The drink, the drink!" His dolls cried in unison.

"O-Oh…" she mumbled, expression still stunned. She glanced away with reddening cheeks. "Sure, I think I know how to make that…"

He smirked as she stood up. "Were you thinking dirty thoughts?"

"No!"

"You're blushing."

"I am not!"

He chuckled as she turned around, face burning brightly, and threw the remnants of the glass into a nearby bin.

Grabbing the vodka and sour Apple Pucker schnapps needed, Lisanna scowled to herself with her back facing him. Why wasn't there anybody else at the bar besides him? Of course, by the time she'd turned back around, a sweet smile was once again in place.

"Here." She replied sweetly, placing it on the bar. "One 'Ass' for you." She turned around once again. "Guess you are what you eat."

From behind, she promptly heard a splutter and inwardly grinned to herself. She could play hardball aswell…

Meanwhile Bixlow gave several swift punches to the chest as he tried to clear his airway, staring flabbergasted after the white haired girl as she walked to the other end of the bar. However, after a few moments his expression morphed into a grin, guess you couldn't judge on appearances after all.

Raising the drink once more to his lips, he smirked as he drank from it. Maybe his moments away from his team members wouldn't be so boring afterall…