Lady M: Please be aware that this chapter includes a PTSD episode. So I've marked the sections where it deals with that with two stars. Also please note, I've bumped up the rating.

Still don't own

Someone help me.

-**Atobe**-

He watched at Ryoma fight with his own body against an invisible force that seemed to be holding him down. Atobe didn't know how to help or respond to the situation.

The painful whimpers and pleas for whatever was happening to stop tugged at his heart. One wrong move and he could make the situation worse. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know. He wanted to help, but there was so much that could go wrong.

Atobe ordered the driver to return to the mansion instead of the apartment. If something was seriously wrong with Ryoma, he couldn't risk leaving him only with Syuusuke at the moment. He could provide better care for his troubled ex.

After a brief conversation with the family's psychiatrist, he was given a list of suggestions of what he could do to help. The first one was simply to talk to Ryoma and hope he broke through what was now labeled as a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder episode.

"Ryoma," he said. Atobe kept his voice even. There was a small reaction on his ex's part. The smaller man started clawing at the skin around his wrists.

"Let me go," Ryoma pleaded. "Please."

"Ryoma," he repeated. "You're safe now. You're not in America. You just left the hospital after visiting Kunimitsu. We're in vehicle heading to my mansion. Can you hear me?"

There was a strangled sob.

The struggling ceased for a moment, but resumed. Nails dug into flesh, leaving red marks behind. At first, the marks would fade, but they became raw. Then, blood started to leak from them.

Atobe panicked. Ryoma didn't deserve any additional pain.

"Please stop hurting yourself, Ryoma." His words fell on deaf ears.

-Syuusuke-

He kissed Gen deeply, trying to ignore the unsettled feeling in his heart. His ex returned the kiss. The spark between them was undeniable. If only he could hold on to this forever.

He knew though that they were playing a dangerous game. As Gen's hands roamed his bare body, he couldn't bring himself to care. There was so much that should be talked about between them. They had an agreement. It suited them for the moment. They could indulge themselves.

But it won't solve all the problems you currently have.

Syuusuke knew this could hurt them both in the long run. But he needed this love and comfort in this moment.

"Syuusuke," Gen moaned.

He smirked. Knowing the effect he was having on someone usually so composed sent shivers down his spine.

"Yes?" he whispered breathily, not bothering to stop what was developing between them.

"You're insatiable."

His grin widened. "You're not complaining."

Gen pushed their lips together. Bruising and heated.

Despite the passion and attention he received from Gen, the unease continued to grow.

-Sanada-

He felt like a love-struck teenager again. Syuusuke had pulled two more rounds out of him before he eventually made his way back to Seiichi's apartment. Walking through the door, he saw his best friend look in his direction before disappearing.

Things between them wouldn't get better any time soon it seemed.

Gen walked into his room and saw his appearance in the mirror. Wrinkled shirt. Messed up hair. A hickey prominent on his neck.

It was no wonder Seiichi had turned away. It was another reminder that he would never be able to love the other. He needed to get out of the apartment soon. There was no future for him here.

He didn't want to continue to destroy their already strained friendship. They had to find a new normal for them. Their arrangement no longer worked. It was all his fault too. If he hadn't made a mistake that day, they wouldn't be in this position.

Gen sat down on his bed. His fingers tracing over the mark Syuusuke gave him. He desperately wanted to believe in a future where his relationship with Fuji would work out. But despite how much he wanted that to pan out immediately, it wasn't a healthy expectation.

I have to act as though everything won't be as I expect.

He pulled out his laptop and started looking at apartment listings, requesting showings for a few that were close to Syuusuke and Ryoma.

-**Atobe**-

Ryoma remained trapped in the prison of his mind and there was nothing he could do about it. He had tried to prevent his ex from further harming himself, but that set him off even more.

They pulled into the driveway of the mansion, his family's psychiatrist already waiting for them in the driveway. Kabaji by his side. The doctor shooed him out of the vehicle and began his work. He couldn't see what was happening, but he trusted that it would be the right thing.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor came out and motioned for Kabaji to come forward. He swooped in and scooped up the smaller man who was completely still. Evidence of what happened bandaged.

But Atobe knew what was underneath the white coverings. An image he would never forget.

He followed numbly inside the mansion. "Take him to my room," he ordered.

Kabaji began to climb the stairs. He would've gone with him, but the doctor tugged at his sleeve. "May I talk to you?"

Atobe nodded. He followed the doctor to the library. Door shut firmly behind them, he waited to hear more about what just happened.

"Echizen-san experienced an episode of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When a person has a traumatic experience in their lives, they can sometimes have episodes of flashbacks that seem real to them. They are unable to distinguish what is reality and what is not.

"In those states, it's best not to touch them because it could lead to them taking action against you. There are ways to drag them out of the scenario, but it takes time and patience to learn it. I suspect this isn't the first time that he's experienced a PTSD episode."

The doctor looked at him for any sort of confirmation.

"It's not," he whispered. His mind went back to their moments after Ryoma's attack happened. How scared he had been back then. Unwilling to let others touch him. How he would seem to forget who he was with.

The doctor nodded. "One of the ways we can treat this, aside from counseling, is with a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor. I highly recommend he seeks counseling immediately and that he begins medication as soon as possible. If left untreated, PTSD can get worse over time."

His mouth went dry. Worse.

Seeing Ryoma already in so much pain was already gut-wrenching. He couldn't imagine what worse would look like.

"Will he ever fully recover?"

"With proper treatment, episodes will be less frequent, but it is something that he will struggle with for the rest of his life."

And you made everything worse with your treatment of him.

"Do you know what triggered his episode?" the doctor asked.

He shook his head. "All I know was that he received a phone call. After that ended, he went into…that state and it just got worse. I tried talking to him, telling him where he was—but it didn't help."

"You were smart to try and talk to him. Sometimes that will help them get out of an episode. I would recommend he talk to a professional soon after he wakes up. He may still not fully be aware of where he is so be patient and slow with him. Don't make any sudden movements and don't touch him right away. A psychiatrist will be able to prescribe him medication and help figure out what triggered his state. Until then, make sure he doesn't harm himself physically anymore. If he does, call me."

Atobe nodded. His mind reeling from all the new information that he had just obtained. He made his way toward his bedroom.

Ryoma was sleeping peacefully. Bandages still secure on his wrists. Dark red blood underneath his fingernails—evidence of what he had done earlier.

All he knew was that Ryoma needed his help. His support. Any resources he could offer.

For now though, he would watch over his ex.

When Ryoma woke up, he'd figure out what to do next.