Author's Note: Since the sitcom parodies in The Vanitas Ads got so popular, I decide to continue it even further and make it a full-blown high school AU parody. Face it, everyone: the Kingdom Hearts fans can take the fandom and the work itself way too seriously. Might as well poke fun at ourselves!

And thus, a parody was born, and it was wrapped in smothering clothes and laid in Microsoft Word...

Disclaimer: Own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Final Fantasy, Mario, Star Wars, The Sims, Dragonball Z, Star Trek, Starbucks, or Johnny Cash, I do not! Own a Darth Vader bobblehead, I do! Own a five lb. bag of gummi bears, I no longer do! Woe! Woe is me!

The Office

Mickey Mouse: The principal. A nice guy who'll always lend a helping hand, even when you don't want it.

Xemnas:The vice principal. A manipulative douche bag with a superiority complex. They say the fake bake befuddled his brain.

Vanitas: The school therapist. Laughs like a rapist and smiles like an ax murderer.

Snow White: The office secretary. Overly sweet and fond of baking.

Saix: The school's bipolar male nurse with a banana fetish.

Aerith Gainsborough: The male nurse's assistant. Ridiculously kind and eccentric; she seems old, but she actually graduated early and is really the age of a senior.

The Teachers

Vexen: Biology professor. Loves experiments and steamy romance novels. Don't ask and he won't tell.

Lexaeus: The P.E. teacher. A burly genius; the MANLIEST staff member of all time. Just don't call him beefcake, because he's an ex-con and will bust yo head open like a can of peaches.

Jack Skellington: Art teacher. Obsessed with the holidays and a bit of a bonehead.

Donald Duck: The speech teacher who, ironically, has a speech impediment himself. Hot-tempered and has very bad luck. He's considered a butt monkey

Xigbar: The history teacher. A conspiracy theorist who is infamous for his party dude attitude!

Marluxia: The home economics teacher. Metrosexual, borderline fruity, and is in love with the daisies outside his window.

Jafar: The language arts teacher. Likes to twirl his beard when plotting not nice things. Very similar to Severus Snape, only he doesn't turn into a good guy.

Cid Highwind: Physics teacher. A known chain smoker; he has an attitude problem, but dang, is he still awesome.

Maleficent: The chemistry teacher. Pure evil...with a side of chic!

Luxord: Choir teacher. A renown Johnny Cash fan and gambler.

Seniors

Aqua: Kind and yet hard core. Is into art and athletics.

Belle: A total bookworm; she's addicted to coffee and good literature.

Zexion: Another bookworm, but he prefers bologna sandwiches over coffee.

Axel: A pyromaniac as well as the senior's token ginger who works at Hot Topic. He enjoys lurking Facebook and eating ice cream religiously.

Zack Fair: A chipper boy with a hero complex and vast optimism. Is comparable to a squirrel on Red Bull, crack cocaine, and pixie stix in a bouncy fun house.

Larxene: A total...female canine. She's too flirty for everyone's good and she was once arrested for bringing knives to school.

Demyx: A lackadaisical musician. Works at Starbucks after school (try the Java Chip, he recommends it!)

Sephiroth: Thinks he's all that and a bag of chips, but he ain't even a bag of chips. He's just a butthole.

Juniors

Riku: Recovering from past...trauma. Likes cookies and Parcheesi.

Cloud Strife: Very shy, seems quiet to most people; wants to join the militia.

Tifa Lockhart: A gentle yet brutal martial artist; has an unwanted "harem."

Aurora: Heavily involved in the choir; Ven has a crush on her.

Mulan Fa: A trained martial artist; often speaks of honor. And green tea. And Asian cliches.

Jasmine: Aladdin's girlfriend. She loves to visit the mall and see the sights, but doesn't like the prospect of her hand getting chopped off. It's a serious phobia of hers.

Aladdin: Jasmine's boyfriend. Street smart and sneaky, in a weirdly nice way. He once got into a golf cart chase and caused a seventeen car pile-up...over a loaf of bread.

Ariel: Also heavily involved in choir; she's the junior's token ginger.

Repliku: Riku's twin brother. He feels like Luigi, always in Mario's/Riku's shadow. Repliku always comes in last, such as in sports, in academics, and on this list.

Sophomores

Sora: A big old goofball with a heart of gold. The friendship in his heart has been measure to be OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!

Kairi: The sophomore's token ginger. She often seems to be the only sane person in the entire school.

Namine: President of the art club and Kairi's twin sister. Acts like an abused puppy on some occasions. She once knocked Sora into a coma.

Roxas: Ventus's twin brother, a stoic boy who is often facing existential crises. Hangs with an odd crowd.

Ventus: Cal him Ven. Roxas's twin brother, he hangs with the upper classmen.

Neku Sakuraba: An anti-social who never takes his headphones off. He is only slightly talkative when in the presence of a very select group of people. Never call him Carrot Top.

Hayner: A hotblooded, roleplaying maniac. He likes to pretend he's the main character.

Pence: A laid back slacker who will eat anything placed in front of him. No joke. ANYTHING.

Olette: Student body president and the biggest overachiever in the history of high school AUs.

Freshmen

Xion: An aspiring puppeteer. Always seen cosplaying.

Peter Pan: The freshmen's token ginger. He's never seen wearing anything other than his trademark green tights.

Alice: A curious British foreign exchange student. A champ at poker.

Yuffie Kisaragi: A ninja fan girl with the klepto itch. She is obsessed with marbles and gobstoppers.

Vivi Orunitier: A meek little child, but be careful...he can blow things up with his mind.

Tidus: Star of the blitzball team (in his mind, anyway). His laugh is annoying.

Yuna: Tidus's girlfriend, a strong, determined young woman made of true grit.

Rikku: A bubbly dumb blond with a penchant for trouble; Yuna's cousin.

Other People of Interest

Terra: The chemistry student teacher. He's a former student and he's usually seen with Aqua and Ven.

Beast: Real name is Adam. Belle's college boyfriend. There were once rumors of him being a furry, but Belle, Sora and some others helped quash them.

Auron: Tidus's guardian. He'll tell you that this is your story, but he'll never explain the plot of said story. Jerk.

Goofy: The school's janitor. The kids all love his silliness and take turns guessing what animal he's supposed to represent.

Xaldin: Often seen loitering around school. In fact, some of the kids seem to know him...

Seifer: A dropout who somehow managed to join the law enforcement and become the cafeteria security guard...not much of an improvement from dropout. Mostly he just eats doughnuts.

Leon: The lunch lady...err, man. He never serves sweets and he's not very good with children.

Eraqus: The militia recruiter. He hates Star Trek with a passion, particularly Spock.

Stitch: The biology lab pet. He seems more intelligent than Vexen lets on...

Ansem the Wise: The superintendent. However, he's usually too busy playing The Sims to do any actual work.

Jenova: Cloud's, Zack's, and Sephiroth's mother; they all have different fathers.

Did I forget anyone? I wouldn't want to miss out on any comedy material. Let me know if I left out a favorite character!