A/N: Sorry it took kind of long to update, Thanksgiving break was SUPER busy. And I'm hoping to get two more chapters up before finals week, but who knows... oh, college. R&R, please!

When Kurt got home from school later that day, the last thing he expected was for Burt to be waiting at the door with an extremely serious look on his face. His dad was usually in the shop working until dinnertime, and sometimes even later than that.

"Dad, is something wrong?" Kurt asked worriedly, memories of his dad's heart attack rushing back, hoping nothing drastic had happened in the family.

Burt cleared his throat and replied, "Come into the kitchen, Kurt, I just need to talk to you about something."

Kurt was confused, to say the least. He couldn't remember the last time his dad had wanted to talk to him about something serious… it wasn't that he had a bad relationship with Burt, it's just that Burt generally liked to stay out of Kurt's way. It was a system that worked well for the both of them, and Kurt honestly had no idea what could have happened in order to spark a serious conversation.

Until he saw the bottle of pills sitting on the kitchen table.

"Care to explain, Kurt?" Burt asked, picking up the bottle of Vicodin and presenting it to Kurt.

Kurt carefully put on a confused expression and asked, "What do you mean, explain? Those are the pills left over from getting my wisdom teeth out, dad, you know that."

Burt stared at Kurt for a moment before slowly replying, "Then why were they hidden in the dresser with your clothes?"

"Dad!" Kurt screeched, "I think the real question here is, why were you going through my clothes drawer? You know everything in there is meticulously organized!"

"You're not answering the question, Kurt."

"There's no question to be answered, dad, it's just left over from when I got my wisdom teeth out. I don't know how it ended up in the drawer, okay, it probably fell off my dresser at some point and I didn't notice."

Kurt knew that was a crap response, but apparently it was good enough to make Burt drop the issue.

"Fine, son, I believe you. But Kurt… you know you can talk to me about anything, right? I know I'm no replacement for a mother when it comes to talking about feelings, but - "

"Dad," Kurt interjected as he enveloped his father in a huge hug, "don't say that. I'm fine. And I know I can talk to you. I don't need a mother for that."

"Yeah, well, I just worry about you."

"Don't," Kurt pleaded, "I swear, I'm fine."

Kurt saw a flicker of skepticism pass on Burt's face, but his dad didn't press any further. Kurt gave his dad one more hug and quickly walked up to his room, the events of the past few minutes repeating in his mind like a broken record.

The truth was, Kurt had been pretty depressed lately. It wasn't easy being the only out gay kid at McKinley, and being a part of Glee club didn't exactly make his rep any better. Getting shoved into lockers, being slushied, being called every single insult in the book and then some… it took a toll on Kurt, no matter how strong he tried to be or how much he told himself to not let anything get to him. He knew he was better than the bullies, he knew he shouldn't take anything they said seriously, but it was hard hearing the same things over and over again without starting to believe them, even a tiny bit.

"Fags like you don't deserve to live."

"Why don't you just go kill yourself, Hummel."

"You're worthless."

Hearing those things over and over again weren't good for anyone. And they definitely weren't good for Kurt.

Not that he would ever tell his dad about any of this. Burt had enough to worry about, what with his heart problems, and Kurt didn't want him worrying about some stupid high school bullies on top of all that.

So he kept his mouth shut.

He wrote in his journal, the only emotional outlet he really had.

And he kept the pills, just in case.

It wasn't that he wanted to commit suicide. He didn't even think about it that much, to be honest. He just felt… safer, somehow, knowing that there was a way out if things ever got really, terribly unbearable.

Most days, Glee club kept him sane. Those people accepted him more than anyone else in the school, and Glee club was the one place where he had anything close to a solid group of friends. They weren't really the best friends in the world, seeing as none of them seemed to notice the hell that Kurt was going through, but they were something. He could at least be himself around these people without fear of much judgment, and singing was the best feeling in the world.

Most days, Glee club gave him a reason to get up in the morning.

But on his more depressed days, the days when he had one too many insults thrown at him and lost yet another solo to Rachel in Glee club, those were the days when he said to himself, "these people are only there for me because they have to be." He could honestly rationalize that point to himself. Some of the Glee club were popular, but people like Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie… they had to stick together to a certain extent, or they'd be ripped to shreds by the insults and slushies thrown at them on a daily basis. Would any of these people be his friends if he wasn't in Glee club? He was thankful for their friendships, yes, but still. It hurt to think that they were only friends with him because circumstances called for it. And on days when Kurt was down, it was easy to believe this fact.

At the end of the day, Kurt just wanted someone who genuinely cared.

Someone who wasn't related to him.

Someone who wasn't forced into friendship with him.

Someone who he could talk to about things that only his journal knew about.

At the end of day, Kurt Hummel just wanted someone to truly love him.