[A/N]: Ah. So this story has been collecting dust on my harddrive for far too long now. Decided to polish it up and submit it. Takes place sometime after Yuri's antics regarding Cumore and Ragou (before the whole dealeeo with Schwann), and Estelle trying to come to terms with it. Despite the premise, I really didn't think this was angsty at all. Ends on a lighter, slightly fluffier note. Blaming my 'inner-shipper' for that, ha! :P

Edited 11/20/2011

Misunderstandings

Are you afraid of me Estelle? If you are, you can quit right here, join Flynn and go back to the castle.

...I'm not going back. It's true that you broke the laws... but your actions also saved the lives of countless people. If I stay, I know I'll find the right path for myself as well.

…You never know, someday I might turn my blade on you.

You wouldn't do something like that without a reason. I'm sure I will have done something to deserve it.

...Now's your chance to leave with Flynn. He'll be going soon.

Yuri, I intend to say with you...

Estelle stared blankly at the book in her arms, cradling it against her chest yet unable to see what was there. Attempting to turn a page didn't hold any exciting prospect that books usually sparked in her. What was supposed to prove to be an inviting distraction that evening was turning into nothing less than torture.

Yuri ran rampant over her mind like the fairy tales of old. Only he was not made of paper, and no so easily dismissed or burned as to fade away to ash. His conviction had hurt, though a part of her longed to hear him explain it further. She could not condemn him to his actions when they brought upon wellness—even if death was a consequence she wished to not have been. Cumore and Ragou truly deserved nothing less, though her chest still clenched when she thought about it. Yuri shouldn't have been the one to make that decision. He was too good to fall into the ranks of evil.

Why does he always insist on doing things alone?

With a sigh, Estelle leaned her back against the nearest bookcase, striving to maintain all manners of rationality and not run to Yuri, begging to ask questions that he shouldn't have to answer. Was it really alright to accept his actions so willingly, without even questioning his ways of justice? There was the Council for a reason… The Imperial Knights and Flynn…

But I have…! I have asked… him and myself, and the answer is always the same…

He did what he believed was right. The only option he saw fit to execute.

"I shouldn't try to convince myself," she murmured softly, hoping that voicing her thoughts would give way to something else—something better. She stared at the book in her arms uncomprehendingly, heavy and feeling so insubstantial pressed against her forearms, a burden she hadn't held in what felt like years.

Dark leather met her gaze.

Mortified, she pushed the book back into it's spot on the shelf with a snap of finality; she was so distracted she hadn't even managed to flip beyond the beautifully bound cover.

If only he had talked to her! Perhaps then his decision wouldn't be so difficult to understand as it was now. Maybe she could have convinced him to let them be, and she could have spoken to the Council. Surely she could have convinced them to listen to her!

What has the Council ever done, Estelle? I can't sit and watch as these people suffer because their laws are what let Ragou walk away! What type of justice is that?

She slipped down to the floor and wrapped her arms around herself protectively, surrounded by barriers of books and shelves and walls and endless amounts of knowledge. Surely a library this large would hold the answers she wanted. It was only a matter of sorting through everything else, first.

It's not justice, Yuri, but neither is murder. I won't let you fall into their ranks.

You're too good for that.

The thought was only briefly satisfying—because as much as she believed it and willed it be true—his actions were still questionable. And she hardly questioned anything.

No, not his actions... the consequences–

"...What are you doing down there?"

She nearly jumped out of her skin, and glanced up wildly, books crashing in her wake as her thin brittle arms toppled a few by mistake. "Yuri! You're back early!"

The swordsman casually strode several yards over to her, sword sheathed and carried around in a single hand as per usual. A bark signaled Repede's arrival, and the dog made his interests known as he growled irately at the nearby librarian hidden behind the front desk, and settled himself just inside the doorway leading out; the woman simply stared him down while keeping her nose meticulously tucked in her book.

The disapproval was most certainly tangible.

Yuri's soft footsteps stopped at last, and he stared at her pile of books, an array of emotions playing across his face like a skit as he read the titles one by one. He settled with a grin while Estelle's stomach clenched itself into knots, and she didn't know whether she wanted to hug him or ask him politely to leave. They both seemed like such selfish choices.

"So... You didn't read all of these while I was gone... did you?"

"N-no... Only some." Only none. Estelle imagined chasing her guilt away with the hurt she'd be sparing him, less her thoughts betray her.

Just play along. Just for a while... Give him that, at least. "I... actually read a really interesting one about manipulating blastia to take the place of the body's organs. The information actually seemed plausible, so I was thinking that maybe I should borrow it for Rita... It sounded like something she would like."

"Probably. Considering it's blastia related though, chances are she's already read it. Nice thought though..." Yuri scratched the back of his neck in what she figured was boredom and Estelle strived hard not to think about exactly just which calloused hand of his had ended Ragou and Cumore's lives not too long ago.

The left one. He's left-handed.

"Hey, world to Estelle."

She nearly jumped again, instead wringing her fingers together. "Y-yes?" He was watching her with a frown, an expectant look on his features she didn't really want to see.

"...You all right? I don't recall you being this jumpy when I left earlier."

"O-of course! I'm just... tired, that's all." She smiled reassuringly, but Yuri hardly looked convinced.

"If you say so..." His expression clearly said, "We'll be talking later," but he turned his eyes away anyway and bent down to retrieve several wayward books strewn across the floor, tucking them neatly into the crook of his arm and placing them on the shelf in their respective slots as he spotted them. They slid neatly; not a single page or leather cover bent by his hands as he worked.

The fact that he was handling them with care for once didn't go unnoticed by her.

"You don't have to do that for me, Yuri. Here, let me... It's my mess, anyway." She was sure her cheeks were pink – from her traitorous thoughts or his consideration – and it was hard to look him in the eye as he gave her another evaluating once over. She quickly snatched several of the heavy tomes from his arms to keep herself occupied and her own rising panic hidden from sight.

Calm down, calm down, calm down–

"You sure there's something you don't want to talk about, Estelle?" He murmured his question, whether to prompt her into speaking or show his concern, both seemed likeable of him. He slid another book into place, and the dark stained shelf rattled lightly under his palm.

He's frustrated with me...

"I know something's bothering you," He murmured again, softer now, and she squeezed her hands tight. A library was hardly a place to discuss her troubles—or rather, his. She was so unworthy of him it was sickening. All these negative thoughts... they were traitorous to everything she had been led to believe.

"I... I don't want to tell you..." She finally answered.

I don't want to hurt you.

He tensed, and the sarcastic demeanor he had only moments ago upon arrival was replaced with something far more suppressing. "...What exactly is it that your so afraid to tell me?"

"Yuri, please, I just don't want to talk about it..." He was quiet again, and Estelle realized she had long ago stopped what she was doing, instead simply staring at the bookcase in front of her in a sullen daze. The sun beams that had earlier lit the room in vibrant shades of sienna and honey had darkened, and it was ironic, because surely the weather wasn't simply reflecting her own state of being anymore as shadows climbed the shelves and made laps around the windows–

Surely his thoughts must have been the same as her own.

There was a flash of movement as she was tugged around the corner of a row of books – out of the librarian's line of sight, more than likely – and then a slight pressure upon her frame, and suddenly Estelle found her back to the books she'd once saw as a shield. She squeaked in surprise as an arm planted itself beside her head and the other holding a sheathed sword. She didn't know what Yuri was doing until he'd already done it, and then he was appraising her again, and she knew she couldn't hide the truth from him this time.

Say something!

"I'm sorry!" She blurted out unintentionally, but there was no erasing the truth. There was denial, and then there was lying to one's self; definition of each other, they were.

He asked ever so carefully, as if he dreaded the question himself, "...Are you afraid of me?" and he looked so serious as he curled his fist beside her head and leaned a little closer that the words instantly died in her throat.

He's going to get the wrong idea...

Estelle squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to hide the truth, but he was relentless, and it was hard not to meet his gaze at some point. "Yuri..." she started, and the words wouldn't come.

"...You were always afraid of me. Weren't you." His accusation hurt, though not near as much as the poker face he gave her. Even though she was the one trying to protect him, here he was once again protecting her. As if a poker face could hide his expressions. As if she really deserved it.

"Yuri... I–"

"Don't trouble yourself with an excuse. ...And just for the record, I always knew you were." And as quickly as he'd cornered her he'd released her, and Estelle stared blankly as he turned his back and took calm purposeful strides down the aisle of books, and away from her.

"W-wait! That's not what I meant at all! Wait! Please–"

Without thinking, she launched herself at him—and attached herself to his waist so tightly he jumped. His sword dropped from his hand, and he almost stumbled, but he didn't try to reach for it. Estelle held on for dear life.

"What," he ground out, not looking back, "are you doing?"

Tell him!

"You've got it all wrong, Yuri! I could never be afraid of you!" Estelle squeezed her eyes shut, and clung tighter as he attempted slowly but gently to remove an arm, such a strenuous process. She imagined she was cutting off circulation, but that only made her hold him tighter. Maybe he'd crumble, but at least he'd be in her care.

I feel so selfish.

"...Estelle–"

"I'm only afraid of what I can't prevent! If—if this ever turned into a bad situation, later on at some point in our journey, I... I would blame myself. Even though you would most likely say it wasn't my fault out of kindness, if your actions were preventable and I didn't do anything to stop it..." She leaned her forehead against the warm curve of his back, taking a calming breath. Why was the truth so hard to speak when she needed it most? "You're important to me Yuri. I... I just don't want to lose you. Ever. If I can keep you, than I will! I will!"

Except for her own heart pounding in her ears from her rushed proclamation, the library was eerily silent. She half expected somebody to leap out and startle her into breaking the harsh muteness, laugh at her for saying such foolish things, what a child you are, Princess Estelliese–

And she was startled. Just not in a way she had been expecting.

"Y-yuri...?" He'd slipped around in her grip like ink, the dark fabric once held taut now smooth and loose in between her gloved fingertips; expression blank, he plainly observed her, and it was hard to stand tall as his gaze made her want to bite off her own tongue for the words she'd uttered.

Maybe I shouldn't have spoken at all...

For the longest time, he simply stared, and she began to feel uncomfortable. Daintily, she loosened her grip slightly, but didn't dare let go less he decide to take the opportunity to leave. Not after her confession.

If that's what he wants though, I probably should let him...

Yuri shifted again, turning around to face her completely. "...You aren't joking around with me. Are you?" It wasn't a question moreover his muse, she realized, but she answered anyway.

"No, Yuri. I wasn't simply making a joke. I meant it."

"...All of it?"

"...Of course I did," she finished softly. "I wouldn't—I wouldn't lie to you about something like this." He was quiet for a few more seconds—and that was all it took. A reassurance, and everything was well.

He'd slipped his own arms around her, awkward and firm and solid and warm—and it was the oddest feeling she'd experienced yet, because such embraces were often seen as 'improper' between upperclassmen, and she had only been the giver of such embraces her whole life; never the one on the receiving end.

"Yuri...?"

"I take back what I said. That was... uncalled for." His chest rumbled against her cheek as he spoke, and she was sure she imagined it when something ran through her hair.

"Y-you don't have to apologize for that. You were upset, and I... understood. I didn't let it bother me."

"You sure?" he murmured. "You looked real bothered when I pushed you against the wall like that."

Estelle quieted. "...What was that about, anyway? I knew you weren't going to hurt me, but... it's unlike you."

His laugh was weak and bitter, but the force of it shook her frame anyway. The sensation of something combing through her hair hit her again. She didn't question the obviousness of it this time. "...I was trying to make you scared. Even though you had said you weren't afraid, I wanted to prove you wrong. I didn't believe you."

"What?" Her head shot up reflexively, and she didn't think about their proximity until after he jerked his chin to the side."Why would you do that?"

He grimaced, but his look was steady. "Because most people are—and you should be too."

"Yuri..."

He finally relented and released her from his grip, but not before nicking her under the chin with the barest hint of his fingertips. The peaceful moment between them was gone, the sensations of feeling precious having left instantly, but the seriousness in his face remained, only softened as he viewed her slightly apprehensive expression.

"...You never know what could happen if you stay," he said. Estelle instantly smiled.

She took a breath. "Actually Yuri... I do."

"Yeah?" His visage turned weary for half a second, but then he was grinning, and she knew their thoughts were the same. "And what's that, exactly?"

She beamed shamelessly, slipping forward to slip her arm through his. He looked mildly embarrassed at her act, but didn't comment, instead shifting his other arm to rest comfortably on his side.

"I'll get to keep you, of course!"

He quirked an eyebrow. "...Not like a pet though, right?"

"Yuri! You know that's not what I meant!"

He laughed, pulling her in tow down the endless aisles of books, and she knew that she had been forgiven.