Chapter Two

Sarek led him down a similar labyrinth as on the way up, but this led to the side door next to Kirk's aircar. Kirk led Sarek it.

"Mine's the only private flitter here," he said, looking at Sarek curiously.

"There is also an underground lot," Sarek said. "I didn't think you would appreciate your car being searched."

Kirk stared a moment, then clarity dawned. "For a bomb."

Sarek looked nonplused that Kirk came to that realization so suddenly. "It has happened."

Kirk was now curious; Sarek was very good with ambiguity. An annoying habit. Did he mean it had happened somewhere at some point in time, to some building? At this embassy? Or against him personally?

Sarek stood at the passenger side, one eyebrow raised, but still with the cool appraisal.

Kirk realized the passenger side was still locked. "Oh! Sorry."

"There is nothing to apologize for," Sarek said.

As the restraint system secured them, Kirk turned toward the Vulcan, trying to lighten him up. "You'll have to make do without the full bar. It's a sports car after all." He grinned at his joke, trying to ease at least some relaxation into Sarek.

Sarek merely glanced away. "I have no need for such." His voice sounded even more emotionless. He was being either purposefully obtuse or oblivious. Kirk couldn't tell which.

They started out of the embassy and Kirk glanced around every now and then, trying to catch the guards he knew must be following. But he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, and in San Francisco, not paying attention where you headed was hazardous. There was simply too much to keep track of with so many intersecting airways and public and express shuttles pressing and jockeying for position.

Sarek seemed almost preoccupied, glancing out the window at the tumult and cacophony of city life whirring, zooming and blinking about them. Kirk was relieved that he didn't have to answer a lot of questions he wasn't ready to answer, and also relieved that San Francisco was compact enough that by the time Sarek realized where they headed, Kirk could stall long enough until Sarek might not protest.

And he had predicted right. As he pulled up to the likely familiar building and valet, he saw Sarek frown ever so slightly. "I had not asked you where we were headed," he said.

Kirk pasted on a cryptic smile. "Is it a problem?" Kirk depended on Sarek's pride and habitual diplomacy to save him the trouble.

"Of course not." He'd reverted to the stiff ultra-Vulcan, as Spock did when uncomfortable.

Kirk smiled. The first hurdle cleared.

As the elevator opened at the top floor with views all around, a large man in an expensive suit thundered toward them, "Ambassador Sarek! It's been too long! Would you like your regular table?"

"Sounds great!" Kirk answered for him, with his best impression of innocence.

The large man eyed Kirk oddly for answering, and then Sarek for not. Kirk was surprised that Sarek hadn't reacted to Kirk's answering for him.

"I am pleased to see you again also, Henrí," Sarek said in the ensuing silence.

"So, you've been here before?" Kirk asked. He, of course, remembered Amanda telling him that they were regulars here; it had been their favorite restaurant in San Francisco. He noticed that Sarek again appeared a little disconcerted, and was pleased to break a little chink out of the brittle façade. He would get to the bottom of Sarek's arctic attitude since he'd arrived back. He had a bad feeling and so would likely not have the time to play gentle or fair.

They were seated at a far northwest corner in a rounded booth overlooking the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge, a very discreet seating arrangement where no one could see them, with a curtain that could be pulled for privacy. The waiter announced his entrances though the obvious tap of heels on a stone section of the flooring and after the service of the meal and checking on it, would disappear until called with a button in the center of the table.

Through dinner they caught up on the various political effects on their various jobs and discussed the future of the Federation in broad terms, but Sarek didn't lighten up. If anything, he seemed tenser.

Kirk decided on attempting to gouge another chip out of the wall. "So did you bring Amanda here?" he asked softly.

He saw Sarek pause as he was about to sip his wine, and the momentary tightening of his jaw. He also thought he saw the wine glass jiggle as if Sarek had almost dropped it, but it had been out of the corner of his eye and by the time he turned toward it, the glass was still.

"Perhaps we should discuss what you had wanted to earlier," Sarek said. "The reason for this dinner."

Luckily, it appeared that both were through with their entrees, though Sarek had seemed merely to calculate the exact diameter, length and mass of each Rigatoni before he pushed the plate away, Kirk noted. Kirk hit the button for the waiter to Sarek's raised eyebrow. "How about some desert?" Kirk asked.

"Vulcans generally do not imbibe desert, Admiral."

Kirk raised his eyebrows at the use of his title again. He was tempted to volley back with 'Ambassador' but thought that might irritate Sarek. He wasn't even sure Sarek had noticed he had used Kirk's title. The Vulcan seemed elsewhere as he sat back and laid his hand on the table and stared out at the ocean. Kirk didn't have to think hard to figure where his thoughts were. He took a chance and set his hand near Sarek's and edged it over until it barely touched the warmer flesh.

Sarek jumped at the contact and pulled his hand away. He flushed slightly. "You startled me."

But Kirk noticed Sarek had pulled his hand off the table now, as if retreating, and didn't meet his eyes. He grew more worried.

The waiter arrived and Kirk ordered the Chocolate Decadence and two forks. The waiter almost frowned then appeared to catch himself, likely concerned for Sarek, since Vulcans were strongly affected by chocolate, more so than the most potent liquors would affect a human.

Sarek caught his look. "It is acceptable," he said. But the waiter, still unsure, stared at Sarek until the ambassador glared back and the waiter disappeared.

Sarek's expression softened a bit as he stared at the table. "Would you like to see me drunk, James?" His eyes scanned Kirk noticeably.

Kirk smiled at the thought of it. "I've seen you pass out."

Sarek looked as if the flippant comment had struck him, a momentary flash of surprise and humility.

"I'm sorry," Kirk added quickly.

"No," Sarek said. "I should apologize. It was not one of my better nights."

Kirk realized he'd meant in regard to control, and perhaps health, rather than contentment and smiled at the easy comeback. "It certainly was one of mine, the rest of it at least." They hadn't even had sex that night, but spent time in such easy companionship and then nestling in bed together so that Sarek could get the rest he needed.

Sarek blushed a little at that and then seemed to slip away again as if reminded of where his thoughts had been before, and what mood he'd been in.

They stared at the table. Kirk noted that though Sarek's hands were now casually interlaced on the table, they looked too stiff, as if he were playing at casual.

Sarek looked up at Kirk with a strange, almost wistful, expression. "You seemed content that evening, even without…"

Kirk smiled. "Without sex?"

Sarek looked away.

Kirk chuckled. "It certainly wasn't, isn't, a requirement for our spending time together." He was surprised at how true that felt, and how it had been a requirement with so many others. He certainly enjoyed Sarek sexually, but he'd also want to be around him even if they couldn't.

Sarek looked as if he didn't quite believe him. "When Amanda was alive, you rarely sought me out." Sarek sounded almost hurt, at least a little confused.

Kirk blinked at that. "You were rather preoccupied with your wife, as I remember, in the little free time you had."

Sarek's eyes flashed with pain again. "Yes, a Vulcan does tend to focus on their chosen." He wouldn't meet Kirk's eyes, as if forcing himself not to.

Kirk felt the strange tickle of jealousy, for a dead woman who took so much of Sarek's time. Then felt guilt at that. He cared deeply for Amanda. Cared deeply also that she was there for Sarek. Many things had been different then. He'd felt respect, admiration and fondness for Sarek. Had even thought him quite attractive and sexy. But never imagined he'd have the chance to bed him. Or feel so much more. His feelings had grown so, even though their meetings, with their hectic schedules, only allowed little betwixt and between the hustle and bustle of their lives.

They'd never had a chance to plow and sow a field of their own to see what might grow between them. Kirk never knew if he could provide the commitment Sarek required. Whether he would be enough of a mate for Sarek to commit to. Neither was one to sacrifice enough to provide all the other needed, it seemed. Neither could be molded or steered; each pushed on boldly wherever they were needed, or wanted to go.

He had yet to fully understand his strong feelings. Only that he'd thought of only Sarek for the intervening months, and awaited the fateful moment he'd hear of his new bonding. Had thought his feelings infatuation at first; perhaps obsession with fucking such difficult prey. The excitement of hearing this proud, enigmatic man cry out as he came, and then his own exquisite climax prompted by that cry.

He'd even tried to bed a few middle-aged Vulcan's with similar build and stature since. Had come close with an intoxicated Vulcan admiral whose wife had been back on Vulcan quite awhile. They'd groped and rubbed their erections as Kirk tried to wrestle off the Vulcan's pants in an office after-hours at the latter end of a reception, before the sound of Nogura's voice startled them.

The Vulcan hustled off with an apologetic glance back. That admiral was attractive and charming, but Kirk wasn't sure he wouldn't slip and cry out Sarek's name when he came. Then they both would've realized too much. As it was, Nogura noticed enough, and asked if Kirk intended to hump every Vulcan he met. It was then that he realized that Nogura must have known of his and Sarek's off and on relationship.

The dessert arrived and Sarek stared at it as if it might bite. Of course, it might certainly nip a Vulcan. Kirk hoped so at least. He plowed into the treat as he normally did, shoveling it in as Sarek watched. Kirk nudged the other fork toward Sarek. Sarek picked up the fork, twisted it in his fingers as he eyed the gooey, dark fudge that flowed out of the glistening devil's food mound like lava.

He wondered as he watched the distracted ambassador what it might be like to come home to him, or to await his coming home most days like many married couples did. To blend their lives and learn so much more of each other. The habits and idiosyncrasies that he knew even Vulcans had. To awaken each morning with him. To see his possessive eyes pinned on him…as they had often been on Amanda. To plan their few free evenings together…

Just as he thought that, a Vulcan male passed by as he walked toward another table with the host. Kirk saw the flash of possession and threat on Sarek's face as he glanced toward the other male. The other Vulcan almost jerked, his eyes widened and he glanced at Sarek then Kirk and hastened away. He noticed the Vulcan glance back again at Sarek and motion for a table further away before they disappeared from view.

Kirk was surprised and turned back toward Sarek. The ambassador's eyes still held threat in them, as if Kirk might wander toward the other Vulcan male. "Sarek?"

Sarek flushed as if caught. "Forgive me."

"Unnecessary," Kirk said. "I just want to understand."

"I am Vulcan and male," Sarek said. "What else is there to understand?"

"I'm still confused by your behavior," Kirk said.

There was a long pause. Sarek seemed to be considering something quite seriously. His eyes hardened as he looked back at Kirk. "He is an aide to Admiral Sernin, if you'd like to fuck him, also." The tone was tight, almost accusatory. Sarek's use of the off-color word in public surprised Kirk. It felt like a slap.

Sernin had been the admiral Nogura had caught him with. Nothing more had happened, but he realized that Nogura might have thought more had come of it, or preceded it. Perhaps Sarek had overheard some remark, or even been told directly of Kirk's most recent diversion. Nogura would have likely enjoyed that too much not to. He so rarely got the best of Sarek, or Kirk.

"I'm not looking to fuck another Vulcan," Kirk said.

Sarek looked him in the eye. His face cold yet his eyes fueled like a dilithium core. "Have you fucked all that would allow you already?"

Kirk was starting to understand what was going on. Sarek felt he'd been used. One of several Vulcans, as a new project in conquest. If that were so, why did Sarek even allow him into the embassy? Perhaps Soran had let him in, but Sarek could have made provisions to politely get rid of him. There had to be more to it. Perhaps Sarek doubted such a scenario, or at least wanted to doubt it and be convinced otherwise; then some hope still existed for Kirk.

Sarek stared into the linen tablecloth. "It appears I've made some unfortunate choices on the personal front since Amanda's death."

Kirk swallowed. "I missed you. I wasn't sure what would come for us, or even what I wanted."

"You made a mistake," Sarek said. "You no longer need concern yourself with me."

"I don't see any mistake between us but perhaps of omission," Kirk said.

Sarek looked confused at that, and picked up his fork and stabbed the chocolate dessert and twirled the goo about the bit of cake into a tidy bundle. Held it aloft in front of his mouth with seeming uncertainty. "So you want further physical intimacy with me."

"I think I want more than that," Kirk said as he eyed the suspended chocolate, wondering at Sarek's trepidation over the mere bite.

"Such confidence," Sarek almost taunted. "That says much. Perhaps we should part company and feel content with what we've…learned."

Kirk's temper flared. "I think we have a lot to learn of each other, and a lot to discuss. Eat the damn cake, for God's sake, before I shove it down your throat!"

Sarek looked surprised, almost amused and angry at the same time. "I would be curious to see you try."

"I've shoved something far larger down it." Kirk wanted a reaction. Needed Sarek to stop covering what was really troubling him.

"You have," Sarek admitted. "Is your goal fellatio and intercourse then? To have me every way you can because you feel I might not allow such anymore?"

"Not every way it seems," Kirk said.

"I only know of two orifices for such on a Vulcan male," Sarek said. "You have used both."

Kirk sighed. "I'm sorry I was crass. I deserved that."

Sarek stuck the cake into his mouth and chewed, his mind seemingly elsewhere.

"Let's talk about more," Kirk said. "I want to know specifics."

Sarek started to carve out a second neat forkful. "It sounds as if you are applying for a position."

"There are serious responsibilities when it comes to a commitment with a Vulcan, especially a male. Especially you."

Sarek's eyebrows rose at that. "You have tried commitment already."

"That was a mistake." Kirk couldn't help but remember her horrible death alongside Sonak's. An image he'd likely never be rid of. He closed his eyes.

Sarek stared at him. "Forgive me for reminding you of her death."

Kirk swallowed. He could still hear the ungodly, almost bestial screams of what was left of them, no longer them anymore. No longer truly Human or Vulcan by then. Only mixed and tangled flesh beyond sentient thought.

"I saw the report, and the accident, after. Sonak had been an aide of mine before he joined Starfleet. I had rather I watched it than his family." Sarek seemed to have warmed to Kirk in his sympathy.

Kirk watched Sarek lay his hands on the table, as he stared off into the middle distance. He could see the pain in his eyes. Saw him swallow and thought he seemed to have trouble controlling his emotions, and wondered why. "Were you close to Sonak, his family?"

Sarek stared at Kirk as if confused by a non sequitur. He shook his head without any verbal response, which was unusual. Kirk was suspicious that he didn't trust his voice. He laid his hand on Sarek's, but Sarek jerked it away and it seemed to shake as he pulled it underneath the table to his lap. His hand had also felt hotter than it should. Another piece of the puzzle fell into place.

Kirk shifted over, close to Sarek. He noticed the Vulcan tense.

"James," Sarek's voice sounded breathy. "Do not feel insulted if I believe you're not meant for a committed relationship. It doesn't lessen my opinion of you." Sarek's eyes looked glazed and Kirk had to wonder at how so little of the dessert could have affected him.

"I think you don't know me well enough to determine such."

"Sometimes the timing doesn't allow for such," Sarek said. "A young Vulcan female will be arriving in a matter of days. If she is compatible…"

Kirk shook his head. "You would bond with a stranger, rather than see where we might go?"

"It is our way. Much is determined regarding compatibility by the matriarch's mind touch. You forget that the mind is of prime importance in a bond with a Vulcan."

"I thought we were quite compatible," Kirk said, with a bittersweet smile.

Sarek nodded with a trace of a smile. "Our minds seemed attuned, yes."

Kirk moved over until he could feel Sarek's heat, thankful for the now closed curtain. He let his hand rest on Sarek's thigh. Felt Sarek's breathing accelerate. "You've chosen your own mate once. Without permission, I heard."

"T'Pau would never have allowed it had I asked," Sarek replied.

"A male union would disgrace the family?" Kirk asked. His hand traveled under Sarek's and gripped it. He felt a charge from the contact race through. Sarek's eyes closed. Kirk could feel Sarek's pants bulge against the back of his hand.

"Male unions are allowed, but T'Pau will want heirs. That is why a fertile, young female was chosen." Sarek's voice had deepened. "This is not the best time for this…"

Kirk smiled. "I think this is the best time." He could hear the catch in Sarek's throat as he was about to protest but didn't. "I can't imagine there weren't other avenues for heirs if you took the chance with Amanda."

Sarek nodded. "Surrogates with short life spans, due to genetic difficulties or disease. They desire continuation of their line without the risk of death of a bondmate. There is no melding during copulation and so no connection but for offspring."

Kirk's hand slipped up to the clasps on Sarek's pants and the Vulcan's head lolled back.

"Please James, stop. I cannot… Not here…"

It was all too clear that Sarek couldn't stop him. He was in the first stages of pon farr or would have never allowed him so much in a public place. Kirk toyed with the idea of dropping under the table and felating Sarek right there, but someone might hear, especially any Vulcans, and Sarek's immense pride and dignity would be dented, to say the least, if he couldn't control his volume. He wasn't the quietest when he climaxed.

Kirk couldn't help teasing a little longer however and dipped his head into Sarek's lap. Sarek grabbed his hair and bucked into his face as he groaned.

"James, please no…." Sarek sounded as if he feared Kirk might ignore the Vulcan's sensibilities. Kirk couldn't help regretting losing such an erotic opportunity, but couldn't take advantage of Sarek so. It certainly wouldn't gain trust or bode well for their future.

"Would you let me finish you off somewhere public but discreet if I stop now?" Kirk smiled at the possibility.

"Yes..." Sarek said and groaned.

His tack wasn't fair, but Vulcans, especially this one, were sometimes too stubborn for fairness. "Is it true that a Vulcan in pon farr can refuse his mate nothing?" Kirk asked as he pulled away.

Sarek eyes widened at that, but he nodded.

Kirk grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

End of Chapter Two (Chapter Three coming soon!)