Disclaimer: Anything you recognize – be it character, location, idea or line – belongs to others, I may be playing with them but I make no profit from this.

A/N: Many thanks to Crysania Fay for suggesting a better title for this one-shot! Luna

They entered their cottage after an exhausting day of shopping and the three children immediately raced upstairs with yells, Lily desperate to keep up with her brothers and James and Albus, as usual, already quarrelling again.

Ginny disappeared into the den and collapsed on the sofa, loudly proclaiming that she was over and done with and would remember to let Hermione do the shopping when it came Al's turn to start Hogwarts because fitting James had been enough to last her a lifetime and she wasn't going through all that again for anything and could Harry remember why they had ever thought having children was a good idea anyway?

That left Harry to unshrinking and putting away the purchases.

With a sigh, he deposited everything on the kitchen table and started sorting the stuff. Had he needed that much for his first year as well, he wondered?

Clothes there, the telescope over here, more clothes, wait- were those George's newest Beard Heads Pills? It had taken the red-head this long, but he'd figured out how to reproduce the effect of Dumbledore's prank on the cheaters against the Goblet of Fire… George was mighty proud of the achievement. But when had James had the time to sneak to WWW? Oh, well…

A small explosion and indignant shrieks came from upstairs. Without bothering to run and see, he bellowed: "James, if you don't behave, I'll hold your wand hostage until after your Sorting!"

"No!" was the immediate screech. "You don't have to worry – Dad, I promise, nothing's wrong – we're all fine! I'm being good! We all are!"

"Sure…" mumbled Harry, but let it go. Eleven years of James' own brand of troublemaking had cured him of the frantic anxious-father attitude that had invariably sent him running panicked to every scream when they were all babies. Now, he was confident they'd survive pretty much anything – and then Ginny and he would heal and repair as needed.

He put the set of coloured inks bottles aside and glanced at the stack of books.

He hadn't had a chance to peruse them in the Alley, too busy talking Al out of buying yet another tome on bugs – what interest his son could find in the nasty things he couldn't even begin to fathom – and parrying Lily's latest attempt – by means of tears and dramatic cries in a public place, this time – at remedying the deep injustice that left her behind when James could go to Hogwarts already just because he was a little older, which didn't make him any less of a prat, as she made a point to emphasize.

Now he looked the volumes over.

He was rather surprised to recognize Miranda Goshawk's Standard Book of Spells – honestly, twenty-odds years and they still used the same textbook? It wasn't even a new edition! They should have just given James his or Ginny's copy…

Knowledge of Our Past looked about as interesting as a History book could, but at least his son wouldn't have to endure Binns, since the ghost had unexpectedly decided that he'd had enough two years previous and had primly informed the Headmaster that he was going to die, which he had then proceeded to do, properly this time. The wizarding world had reeled in shock.

He was very pleased to see Better Be Ready as DADA textbook: he'd co-authored a couple of chapters himself and knew it was the best to be had. He could at least hope that James would have a competent instructor for a year, despite the fact that Voldemort's curse on the position still eluded the best curse-breakers, making continuity in the teaching of the subject an unreachable dream.

Herbology looked nice, easy and very coloured, he had little doubt that Hannah must have had a voice in the choice… speaking of which, he had to remember to invite Neville and her for dinner soon, it was the Potters' time to host and there was even a chance Luna and her family might be in England this time… it would be nice to gather all together…

Transfiguration… urgh, he was so happy that he was done with the awful diagrams… poor James…

Astronomy… the new teacher was muggleborn and very progressive, he'd heard, no wonder Watching the Sky was a muggle volume full of wonderfully detailed satellite pictures… he almost marvelled that there was still a telescope on the list…

He stopped on the last ones.

Potions.

The bane of his existence, even after all these years.

He fingered Magical Potions Made Easy by E. Barnes and wondered if it was up to the promise of the title.

He skimmed through Most Common Potions Ingredients of Britain and Europe and shook his head at how useful the easy-readable information cards on how to handle the ingredients and what not to mix them with and such would have been in his years: figures Snape never even mentioned this stuff…

Then he halted on the last book, or rather booklet, for it was little more than a pamphlet.

Ten Simple Measures to Work Safely in a Potions Lab.

This he had to see…

He quickly opened the booklet to its Introduction.

The actual brewing in a Potion Lab is a FUNDAMENTAL part of the study of Potions,

You don't say?

just as important as the theoretical basis given

'Supposed' to be given…

to understand the processes involved in their multiple aspects.

Understanding… right… more like crossing our fingers and hoping the explosion wouldn't attract too much attention…

Experimenting is both a practical evidence of the workings studied in theory

…or a practical evidence of just how wrong a Potion gone wrong can be!...

and a stimulus to the inventive and curiosity of the student.

If you say so…

Though when he thought about George's way with brews and concoctions, he had to admit 'ingenious' and 'creative' were adjectives that came easily to mind. 'Dangerous' and 'hazardous' too.

Potions are, in fact, at the same time a Science and an Art, and creativity and intuition are almost as important as precision and care.

If you aren't a big bunch of dunderheads, that is, finished Harry with mock-solemnity, as in his mind, the dreaded voice of Professor Snape whispered his introduction speech once more, the memory of every word dropping in the silence of the class still clear in Harry's mind.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making…I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death…"

Harry shook his head. Potions could really do all that, but on the possibility of Snape ever having taught it to anyone – dunderhead or not – he had serious doubts. The man had been many things, a hero not last, but a teacher, that he was not!

He returned to the book.

However, in many work situations the creation, brewing, handling and storage of Potions can lead to various dangers, the main and most frequent ones being fires, explosions or personal injury.

Ain't that the truth…!

There are some real and common sense procedures that should be followed to keep workers and the workplace free of potion-related accidents.

Beginners attempting their first concoctions, in particular, should always keep in mind the following safety tips in order to work in an efficient and most importantly safe way, both for themselves and others.

Oh, yes. Safety tips like: You Dunderhead, can't you even read? Watch the perfect way Malfoy has stewed his horned slugs and cry because you'll never manage the same! And: Idiot Boy! Why did you do it wrong? Now stay here while I berate you instead of going to the Hospital Wing, it's what you deserve for your stupidity!

Harry went on quickly before the snarl he felt forming could escape him. To think the man could still affect him after so many years…!

1) Before trying any potion, research its purpose and the most common dangers of easy mistakes: work-journals of accomplished Potions Masters get published regularly for just this purpose.

The Half-Blood Prince came to mind and Harry smiled.

It really was useful to get little notes on stirring the other way or adding a dash of something, from someone who'd already worked on the potion. It certainly cut down the frustration of not getting the desired result over and over dramatically.

And moreover… to see the scribbled notes of someone else who'd faced the same challenge you were sweating over was… comforting. Made you feel less alone before the dreaded cauldron, to think that others before, somewhere, somehow, had done the same gestures, measured out the same ingredients, possibly scrambled to get over the same mistakes, and were willing to let who came after them know of the pitfalls on the path or the shortcuts they'd discovered…

Of course, if one didn't bother to actually make use of the notes… he grinned sheepishly as the gracefully inked words of the Sectumsempra curse flashed before his eyes, forever etched in his memory in exactly the way Snape had written them… but then, that wasn't a potion, so it didn't count, right?

Moving on…

2) Before starting, get all the necessary materials, cauldrons, fires, ingredients, containers, knives, tools you might need close by;

Images of his classmates running back and forth to the ingredients cupboard filled Harry's mind… along with a number of spilt armadillo bile instances, ruined tubeworms – those were a pain to scrape off the desks – and spread powders cases, frog brains splattered all over the ceiling… collisions, insults, prank occasions, heated arguments, sudden panicked races as potions bubbled because of a forgotten ingredient… in a word… chaos!

check that tools are clean and disinfected, so as to avoid contaminating the concoction with uncontrolled substances.

Now this was a lesson that he and the other fourth year Gryffindors had learned all too well thanks to the priceless contribution of one Dean Thomas…

He bit his lip to keep from laughing as he recalled the utter seriousness with which the other boy had proclaimed that "slythy toves gyre and gymble in ye wabe" and then, eyes widening in alarm, had frantically tried to explain to a scowling Snape that "the borogoves were all mimsy and brillig"… or something to that effect, anyway.

Oh, the look on his face as he realized that he was talking gibberish! And the more he tried to explain himself, the worse it got.

It had been Hermione, in the end, who'd helped the poor boy with the research Snape had sneeringly dumped on him by requesting a twenty-inches detailed account of his mistake, though her patience had been sorely tried as the outgoing Dean had found it exceptionally hard to keep quiet and the nonsense he sprouted became more and more obnoxious…

And all, as it turned out, because he hadn't bothered to clean the spoon properly after stirring the mixture of wormwood essence and re'em blood they'd prepared earlier and it had reacted poorly with the foxglove in his half-done Pepperup Potion…

Of course, every cloud has a silver lining. Fred and George actually paid Dean for his 'brilliant idea' – in Canary Creams, but still, the unlucky Gryffindor came out on top, all in all – and the Claptrap Syrup based on that 'recipe' was still a faithful presence in WWW's catalogues.

And they all had a hearty laugh at poor Dean's expense in the two days it took to work the potion out of his system!

3) Follow directions scrupulously; if attempting a variation, register every detail for further reference and control.

Yeah. So you'll remember that if you forget the syrup of hellebore in the Volubilis Potion it will do exactly nothing – might as well drink water – unless of course you've forgotten the Honeywater too, in which case it will give you the worst case of stomach-ache ever and make your pimples glow oddly…

But also that, if a friend recommends murtlap essence to perfect a counter concoction to your amazing prank sweets and it actually works, you might want to note down the exact quantity you added before you find yourself spending three very painful months attempting to recreate the effect you forgot to register…

4) Avoid pranks and sabotage: even if supposedly funny, they can turn very dangerous and not only for the intended victim.

This simple comment was like a pebble destroying a dam, and Harry was suddenly inundated by memories of the Potions class…

Random radishes carelessly flung into unsuspicious cauldrons, resulting in a sudden burst of frothing bubbles that oozed fascinatingly on desks…

Widening of eyes as an innocently simmering potion turned unexpectedly bright orange, accompanied by the awful snickering from the other side of the room that told you you'd be scrubbing cauldrons or eviscerating slugs thanks to a set-up…

Sounds of retching at the spreading of a disgusting stench that could not possibly have been provoked by the combination of ingredients in use, unless you counted the discreet addition slipped by sleight of a green-and-silver-clad hand…

The shock in raising the spoon you'd been using to stir the potion out of the cauldron only to find it had been completely corroded and reduced to a rivulet of melting metal, because someone had found it funny to switch your standard iron one with a nickel one…

Still, he thought with a bit of satisfaction, none of the Slytherins' attempts, however inspired, could top his own daring in setting a firework off in Snape's class… oh, the memory of Goyle's cauldron exploding and drenching everybody with Swelling Solution… Malfoy's nose growing so big it dragged the blond's head down with its weight… priceless!

5) Do not breath incautiously smokes and vapours rising from the cauldrons, for their effect can be unpredictable; do not taste any concoction while incomplete.

He chuckled. Unpredictable, what a perfect definition. He lost himself in the remembrance of the day Seamus and Ron had partnered in brewing a Herbicide Potion and had 'incautiously breathed the smokes rising from the cauldron' after they'd added the Horklup juice... They had gone on swaying with a stupid smile for over six hours, blabbing about pink flies and telling everyone they were 'radiant, like, you know, with rays all over…' It had been hilarious.

His smile faltered a little as he recalled a rather different occasion, which featured a perpetually-sneezing, ill-tempered Crookshank and a very angry Hermione… it hadn't even been his fault, he was just trying to get some practice in before O.W.L.s, the stupid cat had come up to him so silently he hadn't noticed… and anyway it's not like accidentally lapping the half-finished Alihotsy Draught had actually hurt him… all right, so producing coloured farts wasn't normal, but it wasn't harmful either!... Too bad Hermione hadn't seen his point… that girl could be lethal when angered, recalled Harry, unconsciously rubbing the spots where she'd grown feelers on him…

6) Manipulate with the utmost care tools made of glass or ceramic: be careful not to place materials that have been on the fires on easily burnt or melted surfaces.

A quick succession of mental images of Neville's place in the class flickered before Harry's eyes: a battlefield of burn marks, scorched ridges, tracks ploughed by rivulets of various heated substances…

And then he recalled the state of Neville's hands after most Potions classes… scalded, blistered, hurt… it had turned so bad at one point that Hermione had insisted he wear his dragon-hide gloves at all times, not only when handling acids… come to think of it, that would have been a simple yet very effective precaution for all of them…

7) Never put directly on the flames materials or ingredients that are very sensitive to heat; always check their probable reaction to heat before putting any ingredient near a fire.

Now this could have summed up their very first attempt at brewing nicely, thought Harry with a chuckle, remembering the beautiful explosion, complete with clouds of acid green smoke and loud hissing, that Neville and Seamus had managed by the simple mistake of adding the very heat-sensitive porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire. Talk about starting with a bang!

And there were other instances… of copper cauldrons melted into twisted blobs, of sticky potions blown up into reversed waterfalls and then raining down on the defenceless brewers, of ominous rumbling sounds followed by spectacular blasts…

The screaming, the stampeding, the sound of cauldrons being knocked over as Slytherins and Gryffindors alike ran for safety… sometimes the moans of pain or dismay from drenched students… ah, the memories!

8) Do not use the same tool to pick different ingredients from common jars, so as to avoid contamination.

He chuckled again. That reminded him of the time when he'd swapped Malfoy's personal, spotless pincers with the standard ones most of the rest of the class used, right after he'd pulled out frozen Ashwinder eggs, knowing full well the blond would have to pick rose thorns from the jar of Boom Berries juice he'd soaked them in… the perfect mix for a Love Potion gone wrong!

When the Slytherin had tried to mix his brew, the thin liquid had emitted a whooshing sound and then a cloud of purple smoke had encircled Malfoy's hands, almost instantly solidifying in a frothy, purple, jelly-like mass… that had the effect to attract every single cat in the school area, they wouldn't let the blond in peace! He'd gone spare trying to fend off both the felines and their angry owners…

Harry hadn't even minded that Snape had made him clean up the whole classroom for two weeks straight. It had totally been worth it!

9) At the end of every brewing process clean thoroughly the working surface and any tool or container used.

This time he grimaced, remembering long hours of detention with the Dungeons' Bat hovering snidely over his efforts, more viciously critical than Aunt Petunia and far more cruel in his barbs…

10) Do not use any spell or charm not specifically approved: even a simple unbreakable charm on a vial can interfere with the potion, either modifying its properties or triggering unwanted reactions.

Like the simple, perfect Wideye Potion that Parvati put in a vial spelled with a too generic preservation charm… who would have thought it would start fizzing like an effervescent solution and bubble over, turning her hands pale green?

And then Snape forced her to test it too, to the aggravation of everyone. It's not like she didn't look lovely with green skin; but the inability to see farther than ten inches in any direction was rather annoying and she made sure to spread her misery to the whole Gryffindor Tower!

Harry put the book down with a sad, quiet laughter. So many years later, the episodes were funny and he could think back to the dreaded dungeon with fond reminiscence…

But he was unspeakably grateful that his son's experience would, by the looks of it, be so widely different from his as to have very little in common.

Ginny came up behind him and sneaked her arms around his waist. "What are you thinking of? Your expression is so strange…"

"Gin, do you think James might become a Potions Master?"

She raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"No, seriously. He's going to have a good teacher, not like ours… he might find he likes it, you know. My mum did, and so did yours… it runs in the family, probably," he insisted.

Ginny shook her head: "Harry, my dearest, my love. You better pray that he does not take an interest in Potions. Ever."

Pointedly, she moved to the other side of the table and picked up the prank-pills that were undoubtedly going to provide more than one victim with luxurious beards in the near future.

A sudden picture of his life with a prankster potionist in the house formed in his mind, and it was accompanied by an updated version of every single one of the potions accident he'd lived through in his teenage years.

He shivered.

"Right!" he said quickly. "Maybe I should tell him I won't mind if he fails that particular class…"

A/N: I've been trying to go back to writing my main story, A Switched Chance, but I can't seem to be able to find the right atmosphere again. Hopefully this one shot will help me work out of my system the 225 hours course on Health and Safety in Workplaces I've gone through in the last eight weeks...

Acknowledgements: Well, if you haven't noticed it, Snape's speech is, of course, from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone; the ten hints are adapted from my own booklet on Chemicals Handling and Storage, from the above mentioned course.