Tomorrow

.

It was almost unbearable, sometimes.

The way Erik looked at him, as if he was the very last thing worth of admiration in this whole planet.

The way Erik smiled at him, as if he found a secret amusement in all that gentleman seriousness; or an unexpected charm in those horrible pick-up lines he made up just for kicks.

The way Erik touched his hand, feigning ignorance, whenever they played chess. Just enough to send shivers up to his head (and he would wish for more), just for a second longer than what is normally permitted (and that is always a second too short), just a little too gentle (and it is never enough).

Unbearable, yes, that is.

The way Erik loved him.

Charles feels from time to time intoxicated by that feeling. From what Erik broadcasts he cannot surely tell the origin of those emotions, nor Erik's opinion about them, and even though he can look (it would be just for a second, no one would ever notice, only him and his conscience will know) he cannot bring himself to open the doors in his friend's mind. Erik is rough, but so very fragile inside, Charles is afraid of hurting him, he is afraid of smashing him to pieces.

But those fears will never have much sense, considering he would hardly be able to stop himself from breaking his heart.

It was not that Charles did not want these feelings. It was not that he did not feel them burning inside him too, whenever Erik showed his rare laugh or whenever he won a chess game. Just before the final move, Erik would smile like a shark and say, voice too husky and too soft at the same time, in a way that made Charles think chess was the last thing in the other's mind:

"Check mate."

And they would never unlock their gazes.

Despite all this, Charles Xavier is a sensible man who needs to face tomorrow. And tomorrow, the eternal conflict between their views will take over; tomorrow their friendship will fade into morality grudges.

Tomorrow they will no longer love each other, because love is always so fucking weak, isn't it?

He does not want to admit that probably he is as weak.

But what can he possibly do?

What can love alone achieve?

"Everything."

The voice behind him startles Charles, and he practically jumps out of the armchair. Erik, of course, is the one standing there, eyes beaming with outstanding fondness.

"Excuse me?"

The man chuckles, oblivious to Charles' open stare.

"I was just thinking out loud…"

"Answering an unspoken question?" Charles raises a brow.

"That might be the case."

Erik does not wait for permission and he sits down in front of him. He seems rather comfortable, closing his eyes as to listen to a private serenade.

After a few moments of silence's warm embrace, Charles is the first to speak.

"What would you do if you were going to die tomorrow?"

Erik does not look at him yet, lost in his own world.

"Mm… feeling rather philosophic today, aren't you?" Charles does not respond so Erik decides to do so in his place "I would blow Shaw's head right now and then die in peace."

Wow. Killing Shaw? How unexpected

The ironic voice in Erik's mind makes him finally open his stormy eyes and fix them at his friend's blue ones.

"What would you do?"

Charles thinks carefully. He does not want to answer randomly, or with the typical lines, although he is tempted to do so instead of getting serious.

But tonight he does not feel like beating around the bush.

"I would simply enjoy another chess game with you." And then, as if the meaning has not sink down enough, he adds "I do not need anything else."

Then, he averts his eyes and takes a sip of his scotch, and when he looks up again Erik is just a few mere inches from his face, breath hovering over Charles, thoughts clouded, hands resting on his shoulders, eyes never as green…

"Oh, but that I want to do everyday. For the rest of our lives, if possible."

The kiss that follows is just a peak, just a brush of lips (lasting for the tiniest and most beautiful eternity) but it tastes of so many things, scotch and bittersweet feelings among them.

And Charles thinks that maybe, just maybe, he does not give a damn about tomorrow.

He wants all of this love today.

.

Just a small drabble that build himself up in an hour! By the way, this is my very first fic in English, and although it is not my first fic in this fandom I'm a bit nervious cause English is not my mother tongue! (Im Spanish, by the way) Hope you liked it anyway! :D Reviews are very much appreciated!

Kahenia