Chapter 18: Improbable Perpetuity

Rin couldn't believe this city. They had really gone to great lengths to keep the nature around it alive, or had simply just planed new decorations to keep their citizens happy. She had seen five larger parks, two gardens, and she was currently lying on a grassy river bank a bit away from the main road.

A river, in the middle of a busy, modern city. It felt so out of place, especially with the roaring cars passing each and every second. But she wasn't the only one there, as a group of delinquent teenagers were chatting loudly on the opposite side.

The child was on her stomach, a small object in front of her. Her fingers traced the black metal, its cool feel contrasted by the heat coming from the milky white substance floating around in the glass container the dark casing protected. It was like some kind of mix between a Grief Seed and a Soul Gem, and Rin loved it. Despite what it meant, despite what it made her, it was still a beautiful and exquisite item.

Telling everyone about her selfish plan, explaining how she had used them all as shields, hadn't been as bad as she had mental roller-coaster she had been through had dulled her unnatural timidness into minor discomfort.

Also, the revelation was made easier by the fact that no one said anything. No one yelled at her, no one scolded her, they just stared at her like they couldn't believe that she could've thought of such a plan, that she had been willing to let them die just to get rid of Ai.

The only thing setting the girls apart were their expressions. Anger, disbelief, sadness, all directed towards her quivering body. But no one spoke.

Kyouko had stormed out, Sayaka right behind her. Madoka had excused herself with the need for rest, and Hitomi had walked with out her, both of them needing time to let Rin's words sink in. Right before Homura had left, she had bent down and whispered in the young girl's ear:

"I know what it's like to have a goal, and the determination, or cowardice, to achieve that goal. You'll do anything, even if you know that it hurts the people you love. I understand how stupid I was, and I hope you do too."

Her voice had been cold and lecturing, but there had been a hint of a smile on Homura's lips. Rin still had no clue what she had been referring to, but accepted the words as proof that she wasn't angry with her. Which meant a lot, especially upon facing Ai's best friends.

Tenshi and Tenko had agreed on a temporary truce, as even they saw the hopelessness that would come with more fighting. After Homura had left, the two walked away to discuss something for an excruciating amount of time. Rin didn't know what they were talking about, only that her name was mentioned a number of times. When they finally turned to her, Tenshi did most of the talking. Rin had never seen the Tenko so worn, as she was usually just as careless and crude as Kyouko.

"Rin-chan, your sister were our closest friend, a sibling to us too. I won't ever be able to understand ya, or why ya did what ya did. But I...we knew that..." The brunette talked in a strained voice, as if trying to keep herself from crying or shouting. Or both.

Unable to find the right words, Tenko took over. The girl practically radiated anger, but Rin soon found that it was hard to say if that anger was directed at her or Tenko herself. Whatever the case, the redhead's darkened features still made ants crawl across Rin's skin.

"Ai was not well. We knew, yet we did nothing to help her! We just figured we could protect her, and she put so much faith in us...Tenshi is right. I can never understand you, Rin, and I probably can't ever forgive you either. But Ai had wanted that we took care of you as well as she did. So that's what we'll do."

Next to her, the brunette had nodded sadly. Rin had scratched her head awkwardly, not sure what to do with herself. She felt grief flood her, as if hearing the two talk about Ai like a victim made it clear just how broken her sister had been.

"You'll do what?"

"If you'd like to live with me and Tenko..." Tenshi had intervened, putting a hand on Tenko's shoulder. "...we'll take care of ya. You're free to do whatever, but the offer stands."

"After all that I've done...?" She hadn't believed them at first. But Rin knew now that they truly loved Ai, and that her sister's wish to keep her safe was stronger than any grudge against her.

They were leaving now, or soon. They had spent a few days recovering, and to nobody's surprise, Tenshi and Hitomi had gotten along well, all things considered. The green-haired girl was the only one who tried to spend time with the visiting Puella Magi, making Rin wonder if Hitomi wasn't a little too friendly for her own good.

"Rin-chan, what'cha doin'?" The grating voice called out, and Tenshi came jogging down the slope. Rin closed her hand around her Soul Gem, feeling it shrink into its ring form.

"Not much." Rin answered, getting up on her feet. Tenshi ruffled her chalk white hair absently, and it was only sympathy that kept the child from swatting the brunette's hand away. "Where is Tenko?"

"Um, I think she left early. And I'm supposed to be the restless one." Tenshi grumbled, the rivalry with her friend starting to return to its full strength. She had made a big deal out of playing the optimist, while Tenko had stopped talking to Rin entirely. The child didn't mind.

"We're going too, then?" Rin asked, taking a look around her. Her city definitely had a more claustrophobic feel to it, she decided. She wondered what she would do now, when they actually got back. What did Tenshi and Tenko do all day? Hunt witches? What else could they do?

Then she remembered. She had a goal. Demi was still alive, and the mere thought of him corrupting more girls like Ai was sickening. Rin had the feeling that she wouldn't be staying with Tenshi for very long.

"Not yet, little one."

Before Rin could ask what Tenshi meant, she spotted familiar person walking down the street. Kyouko walked with her hands deep in her pockets, looking more reluctant than anything else.

"She wanted to...?"

"Apparently."

"Sayaka said you'd be here." Kyouko said, her tone making it obvious that she wouldn't have shown up otherwise. Tenshi just smiled joylessly, not in the least intimidated by the other girl.

"We were just going. Say thanks to that creepy girl for the stay and a hell of a fight, will you?" The words almost sounded friendly. After the pointless statement, Kyouko and Rin were left alone. Rin couldn't possibly face her substitute sibling, and started kicking up clots of dirt to keep herself occupied.

"Ey, the hell is your problem? I get dragged all the way here to say goodbye, and all I get is silence!"

Rin wanted to apologize for so many things at once, as she and Kyouko hadn't seen each other since her explanation. Those foul-tasting words now bubbled up, making tears form in the young girl's eyes.

"I'm sorry for-"

"So are you a Puella Magi now?" Kyouko asked in a causal tone of voice, making Rin completely lose her train of thought. She looked up, and saw the redhead sitting down in the grass with a series of grunts that told of her not yet complete recovery.

"Yeah, s-so?"

"I dunno, it's kinda weird. You're just a kid."

"I'm ten!" Rin blurted out before she could stop herself, the indignation overshadowing the nervousness. Kyouko smiled a genuine smile, the first Rin had received for some time.

"Precisely. At least, you can care for yourself now. No offense, but you have no idea how nice it feels to have you off my hands."

How could she take offense to that? It was a completely legitimate reaction, having that responsibility lifted from Kyouko's shoulders. Rin had to ask, even if she risked breaking the strangely calm mood that the redhead was in.

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"At you? Sure I am. You killed me, and I don't take lightly to that kind of stuff. Oh, and then there is the other eight girls. But truth be told, I'm so fed up with all the negativity. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to treat you with minor disinterest. Think of it as...benevolent indifference."

Kyouko felt pretty good about herself at the moment. She and Sayaka was getting along as well as ever, and as opposed to last year, it felt like Hitomi was only a minor issue. Though there was one thing that bothered her: a decision already made, and strangely also the one that indirectly related to her good mood. As for Rin, she found that she didn't care what happened to the child. But she also found that this was simply because she knew that Rin could take care of herself.

It was chilly outside, the upcoming winter starting to seep into the city. But the real cold was far away still, and Rin felt something besides guilt, worry and nervousness gather inside of her. It was relief, and some form of hope. She had done the right thing after all. She was sure of it.

"Enough with the idle chit-chat. Ya ready to go, Rin-chan?" Tenshi stretched an arm and took a few leaps up the slope, earning an angry glare from Kyouko. Rin looked from girl to girl, and then nodded.

"A minute?"

Tenshi shrugged once more and walked up on the sidewalk, humming as she went. Everyone had their way of mourning, and the brunette's way was fairly obvious. Ai's death still lay heavy on her mind, but she wouldn't let that show or affect anyone around her.

Rin hesitated for a second, and then took three steps forward and gave Kyouko a quick hug. The older girl didn't return it, nor did she refuse it. Rin's skin was unnaturally cold, and Kyouko thought she could feel were her small hands had been for several minutes afterwards.

"Thank you." The child muttered, any other words or sentences too complex to form. She waved goodbye to the other girls, and began walking up the slope to follow Tenshi on their journey home. They were Puella Magi, so a trip by foot wouldn't be too much of a hassle. As she passed Kyouko, she received a far too rough pat on the back and three simple words, causally thrown out into the open. The sun flowed down the river, painting the water in gold and silver.

"Take care, sis."

Rin kept walking, unsure of how she was supposed to feel about that.

-I-

"This is awfully similar to what happened last year, isn't it?" Homura said in a monotonous voice. It was only a few days later, and the time traveler had reverted into her cold and emotionless demeanor again. Kyouko suspected that it had to do with Madoka. It always had to do with Madoka.

Okay, maybe her being all buddy-buddy with Sayaka didn't help, as it probably reminded Homura of her own endeavor. But how was that her fault?

"Everything working out for the best? I suppose so." The blunette said, her reason for following the to girls remaining unquestioned. She was in a chipper mood, while Kyouko had sunken into an uncharacteristically silent state.

"That, and that Kyouko is leaving us again. Next time you come to visit, just don't bring anyone with you." It was meant as a joke, a standard Homura joke, but Kyouko just nodded. Maybe she was missing Rin more than she had thought she would, the time traveler reasoned.

This wasn't the reason, which Sayaka knew. But she stayed quiet, knowing that the redhead's nature was battling the alleged feelings for her.

They reached Homura's apartment, but not even there did they part with Sayaka. She followed them in, intrigued by the number of half-painted walls and the lack of furniture.

"Since Mami technically broke her end of the deal, it's only fair that I should be the owner of this apartment. And don't worry, Sayaka, I asked Madoka first. She said she'd rather live with her parents for the time being."

The blunette frowned, despite Homura's words. A part of her didn't like seeing Mami's home gone, but she also realized that there was no arguing about it. The walls were being painted a dark blue, practically black unless looking from the right angle.

"I'm pondering how to get enough money to afford some decent furniture though." Homura tapped her feet against the scarred wooden floor, looking genuinely puzzled by this issue. Sayaka wanted to laugh, as the scene was so horrendously normal. Kyouko thought of this as well, flashing her trademark grin.

"I heard the local grocery store is looking for staff. Someone as collected as you can surely manage a part-time and school at the same time, Hom."

Homura was about to retort, the common nature of her statement just hitting her, when Sayaka interrupted her with a sentence that did more to Kyouko than she could ever have hoped to do:

"Homura, Kyouko has something she'd like to say to you."

There was a decidedly awkward silence as the redhead's foot scraped against a dark splotch on the floor, impossible to get rid of and one of many in the room. At least the smell had gone away.

"I'm listening."

"I'm staying here in Mitakihara." Kyouko stated, the reason for Sayaka's presence becoming clear. She was almost offended by the blunette's lack of trust in her. But only almost. "I'm not leaving...at least not yet."

"Well, good." Homura smiled a genuine smile. "I find this place so boring with you gone. Though considering this month's events, I'm not sure whether you ought to take that as a compliment or not."

This proved Sayaka's words true. Homura had wanted Kyouko to stay, in her own, quirky way.

"There was one more thing." The blunette snickered, placing a firm hand on Kyouko's shoulder. "Since Mami's apartment is now yours, and since Kyouko's place got destroyed, I think it's only fair that you let Kyouko live with you. It seems to have worked well thus far."

Homura flicked her hair with benevolent nonchalance, and looked from Kyouko to Sayaka. The request seemed to be the blunette's idea, as the redhead looked like she'd rather be somewhere else at the moment. Kyouko would never give up a chance to annoy and frustrate her, Homura concluded. So if she's not all about this idea, that must mean she thinks that I can make more out of this deal than she can. I would hate to disappoint her.

"I agree. I did promise to take care of your apartment, Kyouko, so the least I can do is offer you a place to stay. Though I have to say, this seems more like Sayaka's idea than yours. Are you sure you want this?"

The rude girl, dressed in the same borderline rags as any day of the week, sighed deeply. She had the feeling that her opinion in this matter would have very little impact, and this was somehow her punishment for leaving so abruptly last year. But Homura didn't seem to be angry with her, and if all that was needed for her to be this close to Sayaka on a regular basis was some humility...then she would give them some humility.

"You really want me to say it, don't you?" Kyouko laughed, drenching her voice in syrupy sweetness. "Yes, I want to stay. And yeah, it would kinda be nice to have an apartment to live in. And if that apartment so happens to have you in it as well, I suppose I can live with that."

"Of course, seeing as you'll be living here, I expect you to help out with the renovations as well."

"Sure." Kyouko put her hands on her hips and looked around demonstratively. A part of her protested, asking for a new place to see every week, demanding to be free and always on the move. But for once, Kyouko was glad that her consciousness silenced that protest. It was two against one. Majority ruled. "I assume I have no say whatsoever regarding...anything?"

"Correct. Furthermore, my supply of money is running a bit short. So one way or another, I expect you to pay your share of expenses as well." Homura ignored Sayaka's glare, what was asked of the redhead obvious to all three of them. "There is always that grocery store."

"Fine, fine." Kyouko said, trying to hold back the laughter. "Sayaka, you can let go of me now. It kinda hurts."

"Geez, you two are hopeless." Battling her sense of moral with her common sense, Sayaka just sighed and headed towards the door. "If you need me, I'll be at home. It feels like I could sleep for days."

"Being revived can do that." The redhead laughed, scratching the back of her head apologetically. "Sayaka...thanks. Honestly, thank you."

"Don't mention it." was the short answer before the door was slammed shut. Homura and Kyouko just looked at each other, a familiar calm settling around them.

"You just had to bring it up, didn't you?"

Homura just shrugged, as innocently indifferent as ever.

"Once a thief, always a thief, Kyou."

-I-

"Paint goes on the wall, Kyou, not on yourself."

She told herself she wouldn't, mustn't mention how Homura had started to used the nickname on an everyday basis, when it had formerly only been used on occasions when the raven-haired girl wanted to put certain emphasis on something she'd said.

Homura didn't use it while anyone else was around either, which led Kyouko to believe that the increased usage wasn't unintentional. In return, the redhead used her own short form of Homura's name more than the full name, and not once had she complained about that. It was incredibly strange, but Kyouko couldn't mention it, enjoying the familiarity that settled with Homura more and more often.

"Don't be such a critic. My painting style is just very..."

"Self-destructive?"

"Precisely." Kyouko ran a hand through her hair, which had been gathered into an amaranth bun to keep any paint from getting on it. Of course, as her hands were far from clean, the effort was effectively wasted.

But regardless of the worker's carelessness, paint got on the wall as well. It was the back wall, the last one until the entire room was covered in the dark color Homura found so soothing. Kyouko hated it, and because of her nature, she often voiced this opinion. Loudly. Though a quick glance from the apartment owner was enough to silence her, on most days.

It hadn't even been a week since Rin left. With Homura leaving for school, Kyouko was as bored as ever. But she persisted, the time spent with her friends in the afternoons making up for it. Madoka had returned to her optimistic and giddy self suspiciously fast, but at least there were no hard feelings between them, and the old wish to spend some time with the pinkette became reality.

Hitomi had seemingly got in contact with her actual feelings for the redhead, and she treated Kyouko with the same chilly demeanor as Mami had Homura. Sayaka did her best to mediate between the two, frustrating and arduous work indeed. Kyouko had decided to give her favorite heroine some room, and didn't mention or try to replicate the roof affair.

All and all, life was shaping up to be very decent for the Puella Magi. The only things bothering her centered around Homura. One of those things were the fact that the time traveler liked bossing her around a little too much, but it was all in good fun and Homura was for the most part fair.

"Hey, Hom?"

"Mm." Her own hair arranged in a way similar to Kyouko's, Homura brought the soaked roller up and down the wall. The redhead stifled a sarcastic comment and continued with her train of thought:

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Would you like to be a tad more specific?"

Kyouko scratched herself on the cheek, and whether the action increased the amount of paint on her cheek or on her hand was hard to tell.

"The biggest reason why I wanted to leave last year was 'cause I thought that I'd lost Sayaka. I hate failing, and I hate being reminded of my failures. Obviously I cared enough to return, but-"

"You want to know if what happened to Mami bothers me?"

"I know it must bother you, now that I think about it. But considering what you've went through..."

"Okay, I'm not in the mood for mock-compassionate Kyouko at the moment." Homura answered abruptly, while retaining her uninterested look. "Tell me why you're really asking this."

"Geez, that's what you get for being nice. It's just that, if you did anything to worsen my and Sayaka's relationship, I'd most likely try to kill you. Scratch that, I would try to kill you."

"You haven't made anything worse, Kyou."

"You must be kidding me." Kyouko waved her roller around, getting more dark splotches all over herself. "I effing fused the two together! It's like the revival thing, only worse! How is that not-"

"Are you really that big of an idiot? I had lost from the start. Even back then, when Mami was borderline insane, Madoka felt more comfortable with her than with me. So don't go on about making things worse, when there never was anything to begin with!"

Somehow, Homura's words made Kyouko realize something. No matter how much she played around with Sayaka, no matter how good friends they were, it would never go beyond that. It was a horribly lost endeavor, yet one she wasn't willing to give up. But seeing Homura so defeated...it just reminded Kyouko that she would one day feel like that as well.

When she one day ran out of steam, who would understand her better than Homura Akemi?

With that thought in mind, Kyouko walked up to Homura and brought her own roller down her friend's face. It coated her features in a thick layer of dark blue, matching her hair beautifully. Homura spluttered and backed up in surprise, rubbing paint out of her eyes.

"What the hell...?" Homura's eyes, which also matched the paint well, shot daggers at Kyouko. The redhead raised her tool, waving it demonstratively.

I'll be sure to make you smile, Homura. Otherwise, you'll be depressed all the time, which will make me just as down. And when I finally realize how stupid I am, you better do the same for me.'Cause that's what friends are for, or something.

And Homura did indeed smile, a malicious hint of a smile that would never grow any wider. But Kyouko knew what it meant, and it might as well have been a goofy grin to the redhead. Sighing and feigning reluctance, the time traveler raised her own weapon.

"I swear, Kyou, talking to you is like talking to a wall."