Disclaimer I don't own Naruto. Used to belongs to Daughtry

Summary: This is just something I thought of. It's an Orochimaru and Anko pairing. Orochimaru is dead.

Another thing I am trying to find a story called I'm having orochimaru's baby. But I can't remember the author. I read it in high school. It's a sasuke and orochimaru paring I think.

Used to

Anko dwells on the past that couldn't have been. I suck at summaries.

'I know it's crazy, still what made me come. Maybe it's the feeling I get whenever I think of him. Which is often.' She thinks as she looks at her constant reminder. She remembers her entire past him.

"Mommy." cries her daughter

She looks down and is met by golden eyes, like his. "What sweet pea?" She asks in a gentle voice.

"Where are we going?" her dumpling asks

"Where your father took me once, Suki." She tells her rice angel.

She had named her Suki out of love for the man that had impregnated her. She looks at her skin, almost the same tone. Her hair was the same, black silky long. This makes her remember the time she came with him. The time and conversations they shared. Her love for him.

You used to talk to me like

I was the only one around.

You used to lean on me like

The only other choice was falling down.

You used to walk with me like

We had nowhere we needed to go,

Nice and slow, to no place in particular.

She watches as her daughter ran ahead of her and smiles as she reminded of herself. The way she used to behave when they were on missions. She watches her four year old running, with her hair trailing behind her. Suddenly the image changes to that of herself. How she used to act, laugh, and then the image is slowly replace by her sweet cake. This makes her wonder could this be how he looked at her.

'Is this why he used to smile when I turned around?' She wonders. Suddenly her daughter stops at the edge of a cliff, taking her chance she scoops her daughter in her arms. To which her daughter giggles.

She looks ahead noticing a very familiar dock. As she looks two figures appeared only to her eyes. It's her and her love, standing side by side. She watches herself pointing at islands, and could still hear his gentle voice in her mind. 'My you've been studying, haven't you Anko.' To which she responds. 'Of course, I have to if I want to be like you someday, Lord Orochimaru.'

We used to have this figured out;

We used to breathe without a doubt.

When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.

We used to have this under control.

We never thought.

We used to know.

At least there's you, and at least there's me.

Can we get this back?

Can we get this back to how it used to be?

She smiles and leads her daughter to the place it all began. The path to the dock where she had her first kiss with him.

"Mommy, is this where you and daddy used to come?" Suki asked looking at her. Her eyes were pure and innocent.

"Yes, this is where we shared our first kiss." She response remembering. She actually though it would be merciless, conquering, and cold. She was so wrong it was sweet, loving, and caring. After the kiss was broken he still held her tightly and protectively, not wanting to lose her again. She remembers the way their relationship used to be.

"Do you miss him, Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie, I do."

I used to reach for you when

I got lost along the way.

I used to listen.

You always had just the right thing to say.

I used to follow you.

Never really cared where we would go,

Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

"Mommy." Said Suki sheepishly, and look away.

Anko stops her daughter and crouches down to her level. "What is it, honey?" She asks.

"I want to see daddy!" Suki said in a pleading tone.

"I know. I want to see him too." She tells her sorrowful.

"Why don't we visit him?" She ask her mother cheerfully "Can we mommy?"

Anko looks at her daughter; she was so innocent, so pure. She wouldn't dare to tell her what she had been told two days ago. "No sweetie we can't."

"Why mommy is he bad. I near that a lot from Jiraya."

"He did things he souldn't never had." Anko answered frowning.

We used to have this figured out;

We used to breathe without a doubt.

When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.

We used to have this under control.

We never thought.

We used to know.

At least there's you, and at least there's me.

Can we get this back?

Can we get this back to how it used to be?

"What kind of things?" Suki asks making her mother choke up. She was so pure.

"You are too young to know." She said and walks on, leaving her daughter behind.

There was something in her mommy's voice that suki didn't like. She runs after her mother catching up to her as she arrives at the door.

Anko looks at the place. They used to come to kiss. She retraces their steps.

"Mommy is that why we can't see him." She asks.

"No sweetie, that's not it."

"Then is it because the Hokage won't let you?"

"No." Anko response, her heartbreaking with her daughters every question.

"Then why mommy, tell me. Why can I see daddy? Does he hate me?"

That makes Anko turn to her dauther, looking at her pleading face. She feels her eyes starting to fear up and crouches to her level. "No Suki, he loved you. He always used to visit me before you were born. He always used to protectme."

Why was her mother saying used to? She thouth. Why was she so sad and on the brink of tears. Where was here father? "Mother, what's wrong."

Anko loverd her head as she was force to tell. "Suki, the reason that you can't see him is because," She huges her daughter as she breaks down. "daddy's dead."

I look around me,

And I want you to be there

'Cause I miss the things that we shared.

Look around you.

It's empty, and you're sad

'Cause you miss the love that we had.

You used to talk to me like

I was the only one around,

The only one around.

"What?" Suki asks asks in a teary tone.

"Daddy's gone baby. He won't be coming back." Anko replies chocking on a sob. Suki breaks down on her shoulder, and she hugs her tighter knowing. She was all that was left of him. She thinks back, to when she received the news. Lady Tsunade had called her to tell her that Orochimaru, her lover and the father of her child, had been killed by sasuke. She requested this trip in order to tell her daughter before she heard it from unpleasant mouths.

Anko stood with her daughter in her arms, and slowly walks over to the edge of the dock. Where they used to stand. She wish to see those golden eyes one last time have his strong arms around her waist, and feel his lips on hers.

Suddenly her whole life with him flashed in her mind. How they used to kiss and sleep in each other's arms. How they used to plan about their baby when she discover that she was pregnant. How she used to dream of the life with him. Now she stands there, holding their daughter, which they loved so much. Grieving his death. Remembering how he used to be.

Can we get this back? Can we get this back?

To how it used to be?