This fic took me ages. Honestly, I'm just glad I've finally finished it.

So this was inspired by a short story I read in my copy of The Mammoth Book of Gay Erotica. Yes, I actually went to a bookshop and bought that book. Also, a round of virtual applause to GleekKelsey on Twitter for coming up with the title and the lovely ship name, 'Miklaine'. Also, for informing me that I actually have a fan club called Genia's Paradoxes. It still boggles the mind, but *waves at you guys*

Anyway, reviews would be nice.

And I don't own these three lovely Glee characters. I'm just making them do stuff.

The Neighbour

Kurt and I have been best friends since forever. We've known each other since we were five, went to all the same schools, left our crumby Ohio cow town at the same time to go to the same college in New York, and now have the same crappy job at a musical theatre store and live a few blocks away from each other in similarly shitty apartments.

We're kind of like those BFFs you see in those 90s teen movies, who spend all day together at school and then come home and talk all night on the phone. Me and Kurt are just like that. We'll spend all day together at work, maybe get a coffee afterwards, and then go our separate ways just so we can call each other and talk for ages and ages on the phone. It's a miracle we still have things to talk about.

Usually it's about guys, to be honest – hot guys that came into the store that day, hot guys we'd flirted with at the bar the other night, hot guys on TV, and hot guys in general. If one of us has a date we'll be on the phone planning appropriate outfits. And then after the date we'll be on the phone discussing everything that had happened. If the date turned into a one night stand, we'd be on the phone the following morning discussing every intimate detail. And when it comes to our sex lives, no detail was too intimate.

The thing is Kurt and I have had sex on several occasions. Neither of us have any romantic feelings for each other though. We care about each other the way best friends do, but nothing more. We were each other's firsts, purely because we were the only openly gay kids at our school at the time and we figured it would be better to lose it a best friend than to go to a party and give it away to come drunken closet case who'd deny it the next day. Makes sense when you think about it. And we continued to have sex simply because – and this is going to sound incredibly egotistical but whatever – we're good at it. We're kind of like fuck buddies, only without all the awkwardness. Or maybe we're just both kind of slutty. It's difficult to tell. But Kurt's hot, and I'm only human.

Anyway, in the spirit of telling each other everything, I obviously told Kurt all about my amazing new neighbour. You see, there's no privacy in New York. The apartment buildings are so close together that we can all see each other through our windows, but we all just pretend like we can't out of politeness. I can see pretty much all of the apartment across from me. There's only about twelve feet of alleyway between the buildings and I used to just ignore it. Right up until my new neighbour moved in.

My new neighbour was gorgeous, ridiculously so. He was tall and Asian – at a guess I'd say Chinese or Korean. He was so muscular, but not in a terrifying, 'roid-rage kind of way. Even though he was so chiselled he was still slender, with slightly broad shoulders, a slim waist, long legs and, it must be said, an ass that just wouldn't quit. It was a perfect dancer's body.

Did I mention that he was a dancer? That was the first time I really noticed him. He was dancing in his living room, showing off some impressive moves to the music that was on full blast. He was wearing these baggy blue shorts that were just below the knee and hung low on his hips, and a matching sleeveless hoodie with nothing underneath. His abs looked too perfect to be real, his skin shiny with sweat, his short black hair sticking to his face. His eyes were dark and his jaw was set with concentration. His skin was the colour of a milky latte, and got a little darker and creamier in the sun. He was so pretty I could've cried or applauded. It was a good ten minutes before I even realised that I was staring.

Did I mention that my new neighbour has no shame? Well, he doesn't. About 90% of the time he walks around shirtless or in his boxers, and the other 10% of the time he's completely naked. The only time I ever see him wearing clothes is when he goes out. And his cock... wow. I know everyone's idea of the perfect cock is different, but he is mine. He was big, but not like a 'science experiment gone horribly wrong' kind of big, and more long than thick. His balls were just the right size and not too hairy. In fact, he was pretty much hairless, and in a natural way like Kurt was. I hadn't seen him shaving or waxing or anything, and unnatural hairlessness was such a turn off. When he was hard his dick got so much thicker, the swollen crown pulling back his foreskin, and it curved ever so slightly upwards, dark and solid.

Did I mention that I'd seen that beautiful cock in action? Oh yes, when I said my neighbour had no shame I meant it. I don't think he actually had a boyfriend, but he had about four different guys who he'd regularly bring back to his place. Being as averse to drapes and curtains has he was, I could see right into nearly every room of his apartment, and every little detail of his various sexual exploits. I saw him get sucked and rimmed by this cute blonde guy with a really huge mouth, watched him being fucked into the mattress by this hot guy with a mohawk, saw him worship this black guy's cock like his life depended on it, and even saw him balls-deep in this really tall, short haired guy who looked like your typical all-American jock. I saw him half hard in his pants while he danced, saw him jerk himself off after coming out of the shower, and saw him spread eagle on the bed working a huge dildo up his ass. He really had no shame. It was wonderful.

I told Kurt everything, of course. I'd recount it all on the phone as I looked out the window, describing my neighbour as he worked out or danced or jerked off or had sex. A lot of the time Kurt and I would end up jacking off over the phone as my neighbour sucked and fucked or was sucked and fucked, like we were involved in a kind of voyeuristic threesome. Sometimes Kurt would even come over to my apartment so we could both watch my neighbour together. It was weird, I know, but we were completely in love with him.

"So what's our lovely CHAD up to now?" Kurt asked over the phone.

We called my neighbour 'CHAD', which stood for Crazy Hot Asian Dancer.

"Dancing," I said as I looked out of the window.

"And what's he wearing?"

"The usual, baggy grey track pants and no shirt. I'm pretty sure he's going commando too. I'm seeing a lot of swinging."

"Oh, fantastic. I might come over actually."

"You usually only come over when he's got a guy with him."
"I know, but I'm bored and watching the CHAD is why more interesting than anything on TV right now."

"I know right. I've missed like, three episodes of Next Top Model because the view from my window is so transfixing that I just lose track of time. Oh my God, he's stretching."

"What? What's he stretching?"

"His arms. He's like, stretching them behind his back."

I heard Kurt groan. "I love his arms."

"I could marry the CHAD's arms."

"I could marry the CHAD's everything."

"Ooh, he's pop'n'locking. I swear, he's like a really sexy robot."

"A bendy sexy robot."

"Well, we know how flexible he is, especially after the other night."

"Oh yeah, him and Trouty Mouth. That was amazing. I'm seriously considering coming over later."

"Oh my God, he's all sweaty. I don't think I've ever been so jealous of a hand towel before."

"We can add that to the lengthy list of inanimate objects we're jealous of. His hand towel is now up there with his water bottle, his underwear and his family-size dildo."

"Good grief, the CHAD is once again half hard in his track pants."

"I guess it's not just us who gets turned on by his awesome dancing. So what's he doing now? Blaine? Blaine?"

The CHAD had stopped dancing and was just taking a drink of water when he glanced in my direction. He did a double take and looked right into my eyes. And then he smiled. He actually smiled at me. And waved. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. He actually acknowledged me. He knew I was watching him. Maybe he'd always known that I was watching him. Oh God.

"Blaine, did your phone cut off again?"

"Kurt, he... he..."

"What is it? Does it involve nudity? If it does then I am so coming over."

"He looked at me."

"What?"

"He smiled at me."

"Wait – what?"

"He waved at me."

"What?"

"The CHAD just acknowledged my existence. The CHAD knows I'm watching him."

"Oh dear God..."

"I know. He's only just stopped looking at me. I don't know what to do."

"We're through the looking glass here, Blaine. We've broken through the fourth wall. We should probably count ourselves lucky that it wasn't the other night. A Smile and Wave would be even scarier if he had a cock up his ass at the same time."

"That and the fact that I would've had my dick in my hand too."

"Also awkward. Yes. Wow. I don't know what to say."

"Maybe he's always known that I've been watching him. Maybe he knows that I'm talking about him on the phone right now. Maybe he knows that whenever you come over it's mainly so you watch him too."

"Oh God, it's weird. He made it weird. The CHAD just totally ruined it."

"I feel like a total creep. I'm shutting the drapes."

"I'm feeling equally creepy so I'm hanging up now."

"See you at work tomorrow."

The next day at work I was still reeling. I couldn't get over the fact that the CHAD knew I was watching him. The fact that he was so casual about it suggested that catching me staring at him wasn't that surprising. He'd broken the silent privacy agreement by showing that he knew we could see each other. After Kurt had hung up I only managed about an hour before I had to look through the window at CHAD again. He was in his bedroom, spread out on the bed and completely naked. He was stroking his cock and working his thick, lubed up dildo up his ass at the same time, bucking his hips as he pumped it into his hole. He'd angled himself so I could see everything through the window and I had to resist the urge to start touching myself.

"Oh wow," said Kurt once I told him at work. "Do you think he knew you were watching?"

"He must've done," I said, pricing a pile of Wicked soundtracks at the checkout. "The Smile and Wave only happened about an hour previously. He must've known I was watching, or at least assumed that I would be."

"What an exhibitionist," said Kurt, impressed. "I know he's made it weird now, but I still totally want to have his adopted babies."

"Yeah, me too," I sighed. "It's like living across from a beautiful porn star."

Our tiny whirlwind of a manager, Rachel Berry, stormed over to us.

"I know the shop isn't very busy today, but would you two please stop gossiping and do some actual work?" she said sternly. And quickly.

"We are," I said, gesturing to all the CDs I'd priced.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You've been at that for about an hour now, Blaine. And what about you, Kurt? You haven't done anything. Can you go restock the posters? We're running low on Hairspray and How To Succeed in Business."

Kurt saluted. "Sir, yes sir."

"You're hilarious," she said, glaring at him.

"I know," Kurt grinned. "By the way, I love your outfit today, Rachel. It's gorgeous!"

Her cheeks went a little red as she tried not to smile. "Thank you, Kurt."

As she walked away Kurt looked at me with an arched eyebrow. "Ugliest fucking outfit she has ever worn. Sequin legwarmers and a reindeer sweater? Why doesn't she just stab me in the eye and be done with it?"

"Kurt Hummel, you are such a bitch," I laughed.

"No, Blaine," he said. "I am honest. There's a difference."

"That's just want bitches say to justify their bitchiness. That's like, the number one excuse."

"Whatever. Stop thinking about blowing the CHAD and get to work, Blainers."

"You're seriously telling me to get to work, Kurtsie? You've done literally nothing since you got here."

"My job here is to look hot and bring a touch a charisma to the store. My presence alone cancels out Rachel's horrible personality, so really I've already done more work than you. I take my crap serious."

"Yeah, yeah... go restock the posters before Rachel goes batshit. I don't think a gruesome murder is going to do much to add charisma to the store."

Kurt rolled his eyes and strolled off to the stock room, and I continued pricing the CDs. My mind kept on wondering to the CHAD. Was that little show last night really just for me? Was he actually hoping that I was watching, or... what? I glanced up for a second and thought for a moment that I was just imagining things. No. It couldn't be. Suddenly Kurt had rushed back to my side, looking just as freaked out as I was feeling.

"Is that who I think it is?" he asked breathlessly.

I nodded. "Oh yes. I'd recognise him anywhere. The CHAD – our Crazy Hot Asian Dancer – just walked into the store."

He was browsing through the Original Broadway Cast soundtracks in a pair of well fitting black jeans, a grey t-shirt and a navy blue hoodie. My heart was currently throwing itself against my ribcage, threatening to burst through my chest.

"Sweet mother of all that hot and sexy in the world," Kurt whispered. "He's here, right in front of us, in surprisingly tight pants and holding a West Side Story soundtrack. I think I just came."

"It's like being in the presence of a God," I said quietly. "Literally, it's like he was carved by Gods and accidently fell out of heaven, and into a store usually populated by misshapen tourists and theatre nerds. I can't remember how to breathe."

"It's just like that time we were in the same Starbucks as Zac Efron, only a million times scarier."

"Yeah, because we've seen the CHAD naked and there's a sizable chance that he knows we have."

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..."

He was making his way to the checkout where we were standing, browsing the sheet music. Kurt was clinging painfully onto my arm until I had to nudge him away. Finally CHAD was right in front of us, and he looked up at me, right into my eyes, and smiled. I melted.

"Hi," he said, handing me a CD he was buying.

It took me a second to take it, since my brain had completely stopped working. He paid for his CD and I handed him his change, receipt and bag with shaking hands.

"I'm Mike, by the way," he said. "Mike Chang."

I had to clear my throat so my voice wouldn't come out all high-pitched and embarrassing.

"I'm Blaine... Anderson. And erm, this is my friend, Kurt Hummel."

"Nice to meet you both," said Mike with a gorgeous smile.

"Likewise," Kurt and I sighed in unison.

"It's so nice to finally put a name to the face," he said. "In my head I've just been calling you guys 'my cute neighbour and his pretty boyfriend'."

My brain turned to mush and my stomach did a somersault. He actually thought I was cute? Crazy Hot Asian Dancer actually thought that I was cute. What was happening to the world? I glanced over at Kurt and saw that his cheeks had gone rosy.

"I'm not Blaine's boyfriend, by the way," he said quickly. "Just so you know."

"Do you seriously think I'm cute?" I asked before I could stop myself.

He chuckled, and I blushed even harder.

"Totally," he said. "I think you're hot, both of you are. I'm not that inhibited anyway, but I really love it when you watch me through the window. It's kind of exciting."

I didn't know what to say, and apparently Kurt didn't either.

"Do you guys maybe want to go out tomorrow night, like for a drink or something?"

I could almost hear Kurt's brain exploding beside me.

"Wait, you want to go out with me and Blaine?"

"Like, both of us?"

"At the same time?"

"Absolutely," he said, smiling at us. "So how about it?"

In my head I was screaming "YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES! TAKE ME NOW, MIKE CHANG, YOU CRAZY HOT ASIAN DANCER!" but I didn't want to seem like a complete psychopath.

"Sure," I said, trying to sound cool.

"Yeah, sounds great," said Kurt, who also sounded like was trying to keep it casual.

He took our numbers and made our arrangements. I couldn't believe it. It was... it was unbelievable. Once I got home me and Kurt were straight on the phone.

"Blaine, I'm panicking. I don't know what to wear. For the first time in my entire life I actually don't what to wear."

"Breathe, Kurt. Yes, this situation is implausible and insane, but freaking out is not going to help."

"I don't know what he's expecting from us. I mean, it can't be a proper date if we're both there, but he said that he thought we were both hot so maybe it is. And my usual date outfits always depend on the guy in question and the possibilities of him putting out. So do I wear something smart and classy or something tight and slutty? I don't know what to do, Blaine!"

"Calm the fuck down, Kurt!"

"I can't! Tomorrow night we're going on a weird three-way date with the CHAD, and I feel like our entire lives have been leading up to this totally unreal moment! Being calm is not an option!"

"I think we're at a point where we can stop calling him the CHAD. His name is Mike Chang."

"Okay, fine. Mike Chang, formally known as the CHAD, asked us out on a date. A date, Blaine. On what planet is this normal?"

"I know. It doesn't make any sense in my head either."

"And he knew that you were watching him. He knew that we were both watching him. And he wasn't even weirded out. He thought it was exciting."

"I thought I was going to faint when he said that. And the whole 'cute neighbour and his pretty boyfriend' thing... he thinks I'm cute!"

"He thinks I'm pretty!"

"I don't even know what my emotions are doing right now."

"Me neither. But seriously, what do you think he's expecting from us? Should I wear something slutty? Should I wear my red skinny jeans?"

"Ooh, those jeans make your ass look amazing, wear those. But you don't want to come across too desperate, so wear something kind of smart on your top half. Something that says 'yes, I'm making an effort for you but it wouldn't be the end of the world if we didn't have sex tonight.' Like, a waistcoat or something."

"Blainers, you are a genius."

"Why thank you. What about me though, what should I wear?"

"Well, you dress like a toddler librarian most of the time..."

"Thanks, Kurtsie. Love you too."

"...so you should just keep it smart/casual. Ooh, you should wear those really nice grey jeans with a nice dark shirt and a cardigan."

"Bowtie?"

"No."

"Why? I love bowties..."

"I know, but they're not easy to take off in a hurry. You need to look as if you're not totally begging for it, but at the same time your outfit has to be relatively practical should the evening get a little steamy."

"That is actually perfect."

"No need to sound so surprised. Outfits aside, I am still totally freaking out."

"Yeah, me too"

The following night arrived and me and Kurt met at a bar only a short taxi ride away from my place. Mike wasn't there yet, so we had a while to flail and freak out before he got there. I felt like I was having a series of small heart attacks, and Kurt was visibly trembling.

"Maybe we should buy a drink while we wait or something," he said, nervously. "You know, just to calm down."

"I don't want to get too wasted before he gets here," I said. "You know I'm a sloppy drunk."

"Oh yes, hilariously so. I remember your last birthday."

"I certainly don't."

"I'm a little offended, considering we had sex on your last birthday."

"I remember the sex, just not anything before or after. Anyway, we're getting off topic. Mike should be here by now."

"Maybe he stood us up. Maybe he changed his mind."

"Kurt, stop being so negative."

"I can't help it. I'm a naturally pessimistic person."

Finally Mike arrived. He slipped through the crowd with such ease that he may as well have been in slow motion, his dark, beautiful eyes only on us. He smiled once he reached us, and I heard Kurt let out a little sigh beside me. I knew the feeling. Mike was dreamy. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a tight black t-shirt that clung to his abs, and a black blazer on top. I felt like I was about to evaporate on the spot.

"Hey, guys," he said. "Hope I didn't keep you two waiting."

"No, not at all," I said quickly.

"We haven't been here that long," Kurt added.

He grinned at us – swoon – and bought us all a round of drinks, asking me and Kurt question after question. A couple of drinks later and Mike knew all about our crumby lives in Ohio, how we'd been best friends forever, and how we'd started working at the musical theatre store because we were both auditioning for Broadway shows at the same time. In turn he told us all about his life – how he'd gone against his father's wishes to become a doctor and followed his dreams of dancing instead, how he was constantly trying out for music videos, and how he really wanted to be a dance teacher too. As great as it was talking to him, in the back of my mind I was still freaking out about the fact that I was talking to him. Whenever I looked over at Kurt I could tell that he was thinking the same thing. We had a lot of silent conversations, exclaiming with our eyes about how surreal this all was, and just how damn gorgeous Mike looked this close up. It was a BFF thing. We didn't need to talk to talk to each other.

At the end of the night Mike got us all a taxi to share, which made sense since all of our apartments were pretty close together. So I was understandably taken aback when he invited me and Kurt back to his apartment for 'coffee' – I could actually hear the quotation marks in his voice as he said it. We couldn't have said yes fast enough. But things were already heating up during the cramped taxi ride. Mike purposely sat in between me and Kurt, one arm around my shoulders and his other hand resting on Kurt's thigh. I looked over at Kurt and could tell that he was screaming internally. So was I.

It was strange being in Mike's apartment, mainly because I was used to only seeing it from through the windows. I could actually see my own window across the alleyway, the curtains close and the lights off. I wondered for a moment exactly how much of what I did he could see, how much he had watched and what he'd done while watching. The mental image made me a little lightheaded. Mike went into the kitchen as I sat on the couch next to Kurt. We quickly held hands.

"I can't believe we're actually here," he whispered.

"I know," I whispered back. "This is so crazy. It's like being on a movie set or something."

He nodded. "I've got to say though, on the numerous occasions that I've imagined this situation you were never actually involved... but I'm glad you're here, Blaine."

I smiled and squeezed his hand tighter. "I'm glad you're here too, Kurt."

We separated when Mike came back. He set two mugs of coffee on the table in front of us, and I could tell from the fact that he hadn't made one for himself that he didn't intend for us to actually drink it. He'd taken his blazer off and those perfect arms were on display. I had to stop myself from staring. Once again he sat in between me and Kurt, extremely close since the couch wasn't actually that big. And once again one of his arms was around my shoulders and his hand was on Kurt's thigh.

"I've wanted to ask you guys out for ages," he said, playing with the hair on the nape of my neck and stroking Kurt's thigh at the same time. "I've wanted both of you since the first time I saw you through the window."

I couldn't think of a single coherent thing to say, and I could tell that Kurt couldn't either. Suddenly Mike turned my head and, his other hand never leaving Kurt's thigh, he kissed me. He kissed me. I absolutely melted into him, losing myself in his soft lips and his hot tongue caressing mine. I groaned in disappointment once he pulled away from me – I honestly could've carried on kissing him forever – but he just chuckled before turning around and kissing Kurt, his hand moving down to stroke my lower back at the same time. Kurt let out a high little whimper as Mike kissed him deeply. It was actually really hot watching them make out, although I'd always sort of had a thing for watching. When they finally separated Kurt looked understandably dazed, and Mike grinned.

"How about we take this to the bedroom, guys?"

We couldn't have said yes fast enough.

Once we got to the bedroom everything was kind of blur. It may have been the alcohol, or possibly just because we were all so insanely horny. Either way, I can't actually remember how we all got naked. It seemed to happen in about five seconds, but I'm certainly not complaining. Mike's body all close up and in real life was beautiful.

Straight away me and Kurt got him on his back on the bed, and both covered as much of him in kisses as we could. I wanted to taste every inch of his gorgeous skin, to worship that heavenly body exactly the way Kurt and I had talked about it countless times. Mike cried out as we took each of his hard little nipples in our mouths. I could feel his fingers tangling in my hair as I sucked his nipple between my teeth, flicking my tongue over it, before I started moving lower down his body. I left little bite marks on his abs, before kissing his hips. Kurt was still sucking on Mike's nipple as I finally got to that perfect cock. I'd been dreaming of sucking this beautiful dick for so long that just looking at it was making my balls ache. But coming so soon would just put a dampener on the evening, and I'd never hear the end of it from Kurt, so I'd have to control myself.

I took Mike's gorgeous cock in my hand and started licking and kissing it, lapping up his hot, salty, tasty pre-come and sucking on his crown. He moaned deeply and arched his back, holding tightly onto Kurt's hair. Finally I took Mike's whole impressive length in my mouth, relaxing my throat so I wouldn't gag, and humming contently as he swelled in my mouth.

"Ahh, fuck..." he groaned.

Kurt came to join me down there as I started bobbing my head up and down. He spread Mike's legs are started licking his balls and rimming his asshole as I sucked him. We were really making him fall apart. All Mike seemed to be able to do was moan and grunt and swear, as he bucked his hips forward and grabbed onto mine and Kurt's hair. Just when he was on the verge of coming, Kurt and I swapped places, him sucking Mike's cock and me probing his ass with my tongue. It was much sooner than I expected that Mike was coming with a loud cry, grabbing onto both our hair as his whole body shuddered. Kurt sat up and pulled me into a hard kiss, sharing Mike's seed with me. Kurt and I liked to share.

"Oh, holy shit," Mike sighed. "You guys are amazing... you're so fucking amazing... and it's fucking hot watching you guys making out..."

He sat up suddenly and joined us in a three-way kiss with enthusiasm. When we finally all separated he grinned at us.

"You know what my number one fantasy about you guys is?" he said eagerly.

Kurt and I looked at each other, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. The CHAD actually has a fantasy about us!

"What?" Kurt asked with an arched eyebrow.

Mike smirked. "Well, whenever I'm alone and I know you're probably watching me, Blaine," (I blushed slightly). "I like to jerk off right here in bed and fuck myself with my dildo at the same time, imagining that one of you is on my dick and other is in my ass."

Kurt's breath caught in his throat, and if I wasn't already sitting down I would definitely have to sit down.

"That sounds awesome," we both said in unison.

"Great," said Mike happily. "I'll get the condoms and lube then."

He went over to his bedside cabinet, giving us an excellent view of his ass at the same time.

"So, erm," I said, clearly my throat to stop from stuttering like an idiot. "Where do you want us?"

He turned around with two condoms in one hand and a half empty bottle of lube in the other, looking at us for a second as he thought about it.

"I want you in me," he said to me, before looking at Kurt. "And I want you on me."

Kurt and I both grinned. Obviously, we couldn't have said yes fast enough. After that everything happened really quickly. Urgency mixed with alcohol apparently makes time go faster. One minute I was preparing Mike, finger-fucking him until he was practically purring, and then about a second later I was already fucking him into the mattress. Kurt was watching every second, slowly stroking himself, before he grabbed the lube and slicked up his fingers, lying beside Mike and stretching out his own ass. It was extremely distracting – Kurt knew how to put on a show, and the noises he made could put a porn star to shame. Finally he was done fingering himself, and I stopped fucking Mike for a second so Kurt could slip a condom onto Mike's once again hard and leaking cock and cover him in generous amounts of lube. He straddled Mike, leaning down to kiss him before very slowly impaling himself on his cock, me holding onto his hips and kissing the back of his neck. Once he was in place Kurt turned his head so he could kiss me, and Mike let out a groan underneath us.

Soon we started to move, me and Kurt quickly working out a rhythm until we were both fucking Mike senseless. The headboard was banging so hard against the wall and we were all moaning so loud that I wouldn't have been surprised if neighbours started complaining. Not that any of us gave a shit. This was just so amazing, so fucking hot that I could barely stand it. Mike's ass was so hot and tight that I knew I wasn't going to last. I tried to hold on but I just couldn't, and all too soon – way too soon – I was coming, clinging onto Mike's thigh and Kurt's hip, crying out loudly as I rode out my intense orgasm.

I collapsed beside them, watching as Kurt continued to bounce up and down on Mike's cock, his own cock being pumped in Mike's hand faster and faster. They both looked so hot together. Mike was covered in sweat, his muscles rippling as he moaned deeply, thrusting upwards into Kurt hard and fast. Kurt's porcelain skin was rosy and glowing, his slender back arching as he slammed himself down on Mike's cock again and again, letting out those incredible porn star noises. I could tell he was getting closer to his climax, and soon both he and Mike cried out in unison, riding it out as Kurt erupted all over Mike's beautiful chest until they were both completely spent.

Kurt collapsed on Mike's other side, breathless and sweaty, and I leaned over to lick some of the jizz off Mike's abs. With the little energy we had we cleaned ourselves up, and Mike was the first to fall asleep, pretty much passing out in the middle of the bed. Kurt and I lay either side of him, our fingers lacing together across Mike's chest.

"We really tired him out, huh?" I whispered.

"Well, we are both incredible lays," Kurt whispered back with a smirk.

The next day me and Kurt were on the phone. Of course.

"I'm still not over last night," Kurt sighed. "I mean, are you sure we weren't just having like, a really vivid conjoined dream?"

I laughed. "Well, it was kind of surreal. I mean... we had sex with Mike Chang. We had sex with the CHAD."

"And he actually wanted us. All those times he was jerking off and having fun with his family-sized dildo, he was thinking of us."

"I know right. It's beyond insane."

"Quick question though."

"Shoot."

"Has he called you back?"

I thought about it for a second and the realisation wasn't pleasant. "No."

"Yeah, me neither."

"I guess it was just a one-time thing."

"Can't help but feel a little rejected, but then I guess he's already done his number one fantasy with us."

"Can I be terribly honest for just second?"

"Of course you can, Blainers."

I sighed. "As amazing as sex with the CHAD was, it was still kind of... disappointing."

"Oh my God, I know exactly what you mean!"

"You do?"

"Totally! I've been thinking about this all day, and I've realised that the reason having sex with Mike was so underwhelming for us in the long run is that we've both had so many fantasies about him that we ended up making the actual sex disappointing just by comparison."

"So... we have our own imaginations to blame for this?"

"Preciously. Mike Chang could never compare to the Crazy Hot Asian Dancer in our heads."

"It's a shame though. I suppose we'll always have the window."

"What's he doing right now?"

"Dancing."

"And what's he wearing?"

"The usual. He's totally not wearing any underwear either."

I heard Kurt sigh, and I knew exactly how he felt. "God bless the CHAD, that gorgeous little prick-tease. So I guess this situation isn't going to be getting in the way of our 'if-we're-not-married-by-thirty-we'll-marry-each-other' deal then?"

"Course not," I chuckled. "Nothing ever seems to get in the way of that deal."

"Good, because we only have five more years and I've already started planning our wedding."

I laughed. "I'm sure five years will be just long enough for you to plan it just right."

"You know it. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. Love you, Blainers."

"Love you too, Kurtsie."

Hope you enjoyed this long, long fic, Humble Readers :)

xxx