They were walking back to Matthew's house from their very first date. Ivan had brought him to dinner after a hockey game. It was a beautiful starry night as they walked hand in hand down the last street between the restaurant and his house. They house came into view and they slowed down, attempting to prolong their time together.

All too soon they arrived at the door. They stopped and faced each other. Matthew blushed and tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear as he shifted nervously.

"Thanks for coming. I had a lot of fun." Matthew's voice floated over the slight breeze.

Thank you for not forgetting our plans or me.

"Da, I would love to do it again as soon as possible. It was the best. I'm glad I got to spend tonight with you." Ivan twirled his fingers around one of the tassels in his scarf.

I think about you constantly, do you not know? I would never forget you.

Matthew smiled slightly and hummed noncommittally.

I don't want to get my hopes up because it has ruined me before.

"I will call you, da? We can discuss our plans then. Plus I'll see you on Tuesday for the meeting between out bosses." Ivan forced himself to stop messing with his scarf and focus all his attention on Matthew.

I know you go to those even though you don't need to. I see you there and know it's you. I will not forget you. How could I? You are wonderful.

Matthew smiled beautifully, it was small but real. They paused for what seemed like an eternity, neither really sure what to do. They looked at anything but each other. Both were blushing and happy.

"Tha-"

"You-"

They both blushed harder and looked down.

"What did you want to say?" Matthew peeked up past his bangs at Ivan.

"Nyet, you go first. Please." Ivan said.

I am interested in what you have to say and will listen to you.

"Ah, OK. I was going to thank you for taking me to a hockey game. It was great." Matthew's eyes darted up to meet his before going back to his clasped hands.

Thank you for knowing my interests.

"Da it was a wonderful game. Both teams were very determined to win. We should play again sometime." Ivan did his best to pay attention to Matthew as he spoke. It was difficult because he was so nervous. Matthew was one of the few people he actually got nervous around.

"You remember when we play hockey?" Matthew blinked his wide violet eyes at him in surprise. The beauty of them temporally scrambled his thought so instead of complimenting his skills or possibly saying something to make him smile again he simply nodded.

Matthew flushed with happiness.

"Did you enjoy your food?" Ivan asked.

"Yes! Very much." Matthew smiled sadly. "Generally, if I do happen to get taken out to eat its to McDonald's."

Thank you for noticing I don't like McDonald's and I'm not my brother.

After a second pause he continued, "So this was a wonderful change. Thank you very much for they food." His voice was just a whisper in the wind. Ivan was barley able to catch what he said. He felt his heart grow heavy at his sadness. He wanted to just scoop him into his arms and never let him go. His hands yearned to reach out to him, but he forced himself to keep them at his sides. He had done similar things before and it would always scare the other away. He would be careful this time.

"Of course, that food is terrible every knows that. Well, besides your brother of course." Ivan winced. Way to sound polite.

"What I meant to say was I knew you didn't enjoy that place so I chose another venue." Ivan staid quickly.

Your happiness is precious to me. I want you to enjoy every second at any place. I will do my best to do anything it takes to make that happen.

"Ah, well thanks. I hope you enjoyed yourself too." Matthew said.

They both knew that they had to part ways soon. Ivan nodded and stood back as Matthew started to unlock his front door. As he got it open, he simply stood in the doorway.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay... I have a guest room you can use and it's quite late." Matthew looked at him pleadingly.

I'm afraid that if you leave you'll never come back and it would crush me. Please don't go. I'm so scared.

It was a tempting thought indeed. But, alas, Ivan knew he couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to.

"I am truly sorry, but I can't." Ivan was truly sorry. He felt dagger of ice pierce his heart as he watched the absolute devastation on Matthew's face.

"Ah, thats OK... I understand. Oh! No, don't even worry about it. I'm sorry for asking really.." He kept mumbling. His voice was quieter than usual until Ivan couldn't even hear it. His perfect features were the picture of sadness.

Ah, screw being careful.

Ivan suddenly reached out and pulled him into a hug.

"Matthew, I swear to you I will never ever forget you. I promise that every time I must be apart from you I will ache to be with you again until I can make it back to your side where I am happiest. I swear to you that I will never confuse you with your brother. How can I? You are amazing and perfect and wonderful and I wish I never had to be away from you. I promise you that I will always remember you and will never abandon you." Ivan buried his head into his shoulder and held on like he would never let go- he didn't want to.

Matthew was surprised at first. But then he started to cry and clutch at Ivan's coat.

"But you don't know that!" Matthew sobbed out, "You can't know you won't forget me! And I know you will! Every one does. Oh god, please don't leave me. Please don't make me be alone. Its so dark, so terrible. I just want you to stay. For just a little longer. Please keep my fears at bay."

Matthew sobbed pitifully into his chest, but he didn't mind. He just held on tighter, whispering soothing words into his ear.

"I'll admit, I can't see the future. There's only one thing to do- live it." Ivan pushed him into the house without letting do. He then closed the door behind them. "I can live through it and make sure that I never forget you. I can't foresee what will happen, and somethings I can't control but I will do my very best to make you happy. Please trust me. I will do my best to be there for you starting now. Together, we can shape our future."

Matthew looked up at him hopefully.

"Really, you'll stay?" Matthew looked happy as can be.

I want to place my trust in you. I know I can get through it if you are by my side.

Ivan nods and they share a truly happy smile.

Aurthor's Notes: Hello everyone!

Well, here's my newest story! it was actually kinda tedious to write, but if even one person liked reading it i suppose it was worth it. Also, this isn't done yet! this is my first fic (posted) with more then one chapter. it will have TWO! 0.o yay~ i will probably post it between next weekend or the weekend after. Just a heads up tho, i am horrible at keeping schedules and due dates... my teachers hate me for it.

Reviews are super nice. i'd love to hear what you think.

Tons-o-luv

TrresAndCheese