Chapter 3 - Past vs. Future

(Alice's Point of View)

These day's my fingers found my temples quickly. An unpleasant bug had made it's nest in my head it felt like. Ever since it infested me it corrupted my visions, making them fuzzy. I couldn't explain what it was. It felt like an earthquake shook me and tore a hole, making an entrance for anything to just waltz in. It only happened a few days ago when I saw the first vision or as Jasper believes, memory, which put us on this expedition.

An hour ago we left Sea-Tac Airport, snatched any available rental, and zoomed up the road. Jasper was especially anxious, mainly because of my demeanor. He tried fervently not to show it but his shuddering eyes betrayed him. He had hoped to find answers in New York City, home to the largest of all Universal Archives, but suffice to say that we were forced to return to Port Angeles.

I was a bit nervous. The scenery hadn't changed much over the snaillike years. Life had returned to normal, whatever that was, after we left Forks behind us. But things evidently mutated once we settled somewhere else. It was mainly due to Edward's exile, and pool of self-loathing.

Not to see Bella amble through my visions in the first few weeks was troubling but as time moved forward, sure enough, she evaporated from my sight. I had often considered to look for her, through my third eye, to see if she was healthy and taken care of. But Edward's enraged face and bare teeth kept gnawing at me, "We've done enough damage, leave her alone," oh how I wanted to slaughter him.

I had foreseen Bella's impending sorrow and wanted to protect her from it but Edward's stubbornness was overpowering. A month had not even passed and I blacked her out completely. But for some reason now fate threw her image back into my restless mind.

Jasper and I were disagreeing on what was happening to me. Explanation A didn't stand well with him. I wagered that perhaps my abilities were growing, and planting new seeds. But he thought it was irrational to think that the ability to see the future could double back and suddenly show me the past. Honestly, I thought it was farfetched too.

Jasper believes that the things I've been seeing are fragment's of some unanswered desire, and that psychologically I felt guilty over leaving Bella. He thinks that I was seeing memories of past longings to aid her in her time of need. Of course that idea was ludicrous. I hadn't told Jasper everything about the vision yet, and there was a piece of it that could bury his psychological take on things.

We had just passed the city limits of Port Angeles and besides population growth the town itself seemed frozen. It hadn't changed much in the past forty years. It's funny how the places you don't want to go back to remain the same, like out of spite, just so you have to relive the memorandums perfectly.

The Universal Archives appeared to be one of the biggest buildings in the city. Just like its siblings it was made of white marble, and had pillars atop it's staircase along with a moniker that read UA of Port Angeles, WA.

Jasper put the car in park behind the building and looked at me reassuring. I smiled at him weakly, finding comfort in his compassionate features and not his empathy.

"Ready?" he asked already opening the door. I nodded, inhaling expectantly. I needed to find answers to the riddles in the dark, and prayed that this library would have them.

Jasper and I left the car behind us and walked hand in hand around the building. The night was cold and still. It was late, and there weren't any people on the street. Scents of extravagant perfumes, fast food, and alcohol lingered in the air.

We ascended the stairs to the library and I was thankful over it's policy of being open all year around, every single day, and all night. Like the gentlemen that he is Jasper graciously opened the door for me, waving his hand and motioning me to enter first.

I chuckled and danced through the door. Immediately we were hit by the aroma's of fresh brewing coffee, pastries, and the stale stench of computers. The library was small compared to others but still held a grand atmosphere. We quickly walked across the lobby to a front desk with a young blond man sitting behind it.

He put down the newspaper he was reading and greeted us with a smile. "Welcome to the Universal Archives of Port Angeles, how may I help you tonight?"

Jasper took the lead, "We're hoping you can point us into the right direction." The young man widened his eyes awaiting our inquiry.

"We're looking for newspaper clippings from Forks. Another archive brought us here and claimed that you have all the old clippings from the past forty years. Is that true?" Jasper was very polite. In addition, he had worked marvelously on his aversion to human blood and the scents bothered him less, and less.

Though he tried to hide it from me, I think this might have been one of the reasons he was so obsessed with finding out what was wrong with me, and what happened to Bella. He still blamed himself for Edward's misery, even after all these year.

"Yes, that's true. Were you looking for any specific time period in those forty years?" The young man poised himself over a keyboard, ready to search.

"Yes," Jasper replied, "we were thinking sometime between 2004 and maybe 2010."

A blue monitor, a hologram, appeared above the consol. It was the high tech version of monitors which were no longer around. The boy quickly typed in our query and began a search. He tapped his fingers on the desk, waiting, as more and more screen's popped up on the monitor.

I squeezed Jaspers fingers in my hand, impatient, and tired of finding no answers. Jasper placed a kiss on my head trying to soothe me.

While the boy was still searching through the database I took a quick look around the lobby. It had paintings on the wall of past president's, expressing the political influence of the creation of the archives. I thought it was humorous that we were actually in a library with no books. There were still shelves of course but they were filled with outlets and titles.

"Here we are," the boy pronounced. "Let's see, okay, section 9, shelf 58. We have some albums back there that have the information you want. You'll need number 32 and all the way through 45. They have the periods of time you wanted."

"Thank you very much," I beamed at him. I was beside myself. Finally, there would be answers. And I suppose I was wrong, some archives apparently still had history on paper.

"Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you," he offered.

"We will and thank you for your time." Jasper smiled too, sensing my elation.

As we left the desk area and were heading into the maze of rows and shelves the boy abruptly yelled after us, "Good luck," he said. I caught a tone or rough edge in those two words. I stopped in my tracks and looked over my shoulder, and at him. He smiled, friendly, before turning back to his newspaper.

Maybe it was my imagination. The past few days had been stressful, and maybe my head really was playing tricks on me. Jasper's brows were pushed together, confused, I shook my head at him and walked on.

We glanced at the many sign's seeking section 9. After strolling through several rows and following sections, 6, 7, and 8 we finally came upon 9. In front of the columns of the section were several mahogany tables, Jasper gestured for me to take a seat while he would retrieve the albums.

While sitting I ran my fingers through my spiky hair, the style was still in trend, for which I was very grateful. My head was slightly throbbing, like a pulse. Surprisingly I hadn't had any visions in the past few hours. Somehow what I saw interrupted the natural balance of my premonitions. I just hoped that Edward was comfortable in our new home, and felt more serene than he had over the past few decades.

Occasionally I would glimpse to see where he was. The scenery changed often compared to his wandering which always stayed the same. He must have visited every country in the European Union by now. Once, about 19 years ago he was in Italy.

He had me so worried then. Italy or rather Volterra was home to the royal family of the entire vampire domain. Well, the closest thing to royalty anyway. Edward had considered paying them a visit when he was at the very bottom of the barrel of his sorrow. His macabre actions were unbecoming, but his ravenous hunger to find release from the pain was great then. Luckily, he never saw them, and changed his mind in the very last minute.

The entire time I was pacing, and running a permanent line into the carpet. I was relieved but agitated over his yearning for death. I wonder what sort of punishment would be appropriate for that.

Jasper had found the albums quickly. They were large, thick, and black. He placed them both on the table, one of them in front of me. I had been to the libraries before so it was different not to have an I-Pad model 10 in front of me. They were the main tool for the libraries. Just find what you're looking for, plug them into the shelf, and download the knowledge.

I opened the album and looked at the date; it was January 5th, 2005. I was so glad to see it. From my side corner I noticed Jasper folding his hands over the other collection of newspapers, intermingling his fingers.

"Before we start, I want you to tell me about what you saw again. I want every single detail Alice. And please don't leave anything out."

"I already told you everything Jazz," I laughed, lying.

"I know but I want to hear it again. It's just a precaution in case I might have missed something. Every detail counts."

I sighed, closing the book. I mimicked his posture and folded my hands into one another and rested them on top the album.

"Well, I was in our bedroom and folding some of the laundry. I at first thought it was a vision when I felt it coming. But it was different, very different. Unlike the visions that have a prelude of white sparkles like snowflakes, this vision was like waves."

"Waves?" Jasper interjected. I hadn't told him how the vision declared itself to me.

"Yes, it was like staring into darkness without a light. But then suddenly waves began to grow. It's much like observing a leaf kissing the surface of a pond and watching waves radiate from it's gentle touch. But instead of hearing crashing or roaring sounds of the usual waves, I heard white noise; static."

Jasper nodded, his eyes sharpened.

"Then, the waves turned into a bright flash like lightning had struck me. The vision vibrated and traveled through my whole body. I felt it coursing like a raging river through my veins. It was filling me. My body tensed at its power. And then, I was in a forest."

Jasper had already heard this part which led him to believe it was a memory.

"It wasn't like an ordinary vision where I'm an observer and can only see what's happening. Usually the edges of my visions are blurry. It's almost like watching a film. I'm merely the audience to what's being shown on the big screen. But this one was different. I was actually there, in the forest, and I could smell everything.

I scented the fresh aroma of the trees and the earth beneath me. I even smelled woodland creatures, and their nutty aromas. The forest was overgrown with moss, and every tree was forced to wear its coat. It was a husky forest, and the air was thin. It reminds me a lot of the forest in Forks."

Jasper closed his eyes, as always, trying to visualize what I was seeing. "Then what happened?"

"Well, I wasn't really in control but I could see everything through my eyes. I knew it was me because I lifted my fingers to my face. They were my own but the action to raise my hands wasn't my choice. I began to look around. There was a light shower or maybe it was just misting. It was maybe midday, I couldn't really tell.

There was a large oak tree in front of me. The tree unlike its brethren was," I stopped trying to think of the proper word.

"It was arid. It was just void and empty, and depleted of leafs. It was dead."

"It stood out to you somehow?" Jasper studied my face, taking in every move of my mouth, nose, and eyes.

"Yes, yes it did. I just thought it was strange for a dead tree to be in the midst of hundreds that were fruitful." Undoubtedly that tree was symbolic. It stood for something, and though I originally believed it to be a presentation of myself or even Bella but somewhere deep down I didn't think it was.

"Anyway," I shook off the dead tree for later, "I didn't really know what to think of it until, well, quite frankly Bella came around from the tree."

Jasper's chest tightened and his breath stopped. Old habits die hard I suppose.

"I was thrilled at first. I mean none of us have seen her in decades and for her to just pop out of nowhere like that, I mean, it was refreshing and cleansing. I remember trying to move my body towards her and to embrace her but it stood still like a statue. I had no control over the body I had. Almost like someone was pulling my strings like a puppeteer.

For a fleeting moment I thought that it was a vision of the future. But that was an impossible logic."

Jasper nodded, breathing again, "Tell me again why and please remember vivid details."

"Bella, she, well, she hadn't aged. She looked just like she did when we left her."

"She was a vampire then?" Jasper's eyebrows rose. I shook my head, disagreeing vigorously.

"No, no she wasn't. When I said she looked just like she did all those years ago, that's what I meant. There was color in her cheeks, her eyes were brown, and I could actually hear her heartbeat."

Jasper wore a crooked grin, "Not the future then. It was this that fooled you into thinking you could suddenly see the past even though what you saw never actually happened, right?"

"Right," I said pouting, and in the negative.

"So then what made you think it was a vision of the past? Her humanity?"

I pressed my lips into a hard line, and despair filled me. It was a child's dream. I knew such a meeting with her and me never took place but that trickster, hope, sent me down on a silly avenue.

"Wishful thinking Jasper. Seeing her jumbled my reason and common sense."

Jasper's hand then was on mine exploding with calamity and peace. He patted and stroked my hands while sending out rays of serenity. They spread though me like a cure and ate away the virus.

"Go on," he whispered still holding my hands.

I swallowed, and with it went that awful despair. "So, right, Bella came from around the tree. As I've said before she wasn't a vampire, she was human. I didn't know why I was there or why she was. I just knew I was ecstatic over seeing her.

But it wasn't like I remembered her any other time. Her face was hard, and sad. There were circles beneath her eyes like she hadn't slept in years. Her lips were slightly parted and she seemed weary. And then, she began to speak."

"Word for word Alice, what did she say?" Jasper moved his chair closer to mine.

"She said, If you never ask, you'll never know. If you ask, you'll always know. Death is cunning and has many forms, see through them, and find the heart. Forgive transgression, and don't be fooled by the gambit of Death. Accept the truth and cast your reflection in the Emerald's eye. Death has made his home in the desert, where only this one type of cactus can bare to stand. Whatever you do, please, don't forsake the silent babe within, and then she started to walk away.

She walked backwards; tears were spilling out of her eyes. She propped up her hand like trying to reach me and said I miss you. She became transparent like a ghost and just, faded away."

"And that was it?" I looked at Jasper trying to hide a mask of anguish. The sorrowful drops of water that ran down her rosy cheeks, and that silent and desperate I miss you just clung to me.

"Yeah. What she said was like a riddle almost. I don't know," I closed my eyes disturbed. "Maybe she or someone else was trying to tell me something. It just seemed too out of place to be a mere memory or vision."

"I thought it might be psychological. That you were in guilt over leaving her but now reconsidering all of this it sounds more like a message. But I don't think it came from her."

I put my hands on either side of my face, supporting my elbows on the table. "Don't think so?"

"No, it's possible your mind conjured this up. Then again it's possible that your visions are taking a new turn, evolving somehow. But I do agree that digging up the past could help, to see what eventually happened to her."

I exhaled, ready to begin, "Let's get to it then. There is bound to be something in here."

Jasper and I both opened the albums. I made sure to read carefully through the articles. I started with when we were still here. It seemed ignorant to do so but I figure that just in case, I should do it. Jasper was browsing through December 2004 and early January 2005.

We were both so absorbed into finding clues or preferably straight to the point answers that the world could have started a nuclear holocaust around us and we wouldn't have noticed. I read a few articles about early September 2004, just before Bella's birthday. I even remembered some of them.

The pages were full with sales, marketing, and movie openings in Port Angeles. I cringed whenever I turned the page to the obituaries but it felt prudent to check them too.

My focus was interrupted by a light hearted giggle from Jasper. "What?"

He shook his head still reading an article. "Oh, nothing. I just read about some burglars that broke into a blood bank in Seattle and stole blood. The police suspected they wanted to sell it for money."

I coughed shaking my head, "How pathetic."

"Well, in times of need people will do what they have to in order to survive." I suppose so.

I eventually reached the days after Bella's birthday. They were non-eventful. I wanted to see her name in the papers but at the same time I didn't. It was difficult to process.

Without looking at the clock I felt the hours just flying by. Jasper hadn't said anything in a while either so he had been unsuccessful. I too was starting to get a little anxious even though we had just started reading through the endless pile of articles. It might go faster if we only looked at the main headlines but we felt that each article no matter how small or insignificant counted.

I was about two weeks of Bella's faithful birthday party in the newspaper. I turned the thick page over moving on to the next. The page simple fell out of my hand. There was a front page posted right in front of me, the headline actually. When we started our search I didn't believe that we would find something right away. I thought that what we wanted might be several small needles in a large haystack.

Bella's picture was on the front page. The date, the 27th of September, was maybe two weeks after we left. The letters were big and bold, "Chief of Police's daughter, Isabella Swan, Missing."

"Jasper," my voice creaked. Jasper jumped out of his chair and moved behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. His breath was caught in the back of his throat just like mine.

"No, no, no, no," I cried. Jasper turned the page, several, going to the next week and into October. We didn't have to look long.

"Isabella Swan, still missing, if you have any information please contact the Forks police department." The letter's were still big, and also still on the front page.

Jasper and I flicked through many more pages, and all throughout October and November of 2005. Every week it seemed the articles were growing smaller and smaller. The paragraphs grew shorter, and disappeared from the front page altogether.

There was no information. Jasper and I ravaged through the articles like termites through wood. Every single day was the same. There was no information, no clues, no nothing. She just didn't come home one day. The police department searched across the Olympic Peninsula. They looked for a body, a piece of cloth, a shoe, anything. But they came up empty.

Missing posters were put on the wind like birds being set free to fly. They were posted in every small community around Port Angeles. They stretched as far as Seattle and Olympia. It was Charlie's doing, there was no question about it.

"They never found her," Jasper murmured the word's I didn't want to hear.

I slammed down the album. The echo stirred the silence of the library. "DISSAPEARED?" I yelled.

"Alice!" Jasper spoke into my ear. "Calm down, we're not alone here."

I tore myself away from my seat, angry and hurt, and stomped towards the exit. Jasper was hurrying behind me, "Don't make a scene Alice. I feel your anger but it won't do you any good if you do something exposing." he pleaded with me.

I didn't care. The anger and hurt started in my chest like some heat. It propelled through my innards setting them on fire. Bella's image in the newspaper printed itself across my mind, it was all I could see. The word "Missing" was mocking me. It was vibrating, growing small, but then erupting back and slapping me across the face.

I stormed by the front desk ignoring the boy. I almost took the two front doors of their hinges if Jasper hadn't caught them. We were back on the pavement outside and I was stampeding back to the car. Jasper had given up trying to stop my reign and just ran behind me, trying to keep exposure to a minimum.

Suddenly, like I had tripped, I was forced to halt. Jasper walked right on by me before realizing I stopped.

"Oh no, not again," I said. Jasper stood in front me looking around to make sure no one was watching us.

"What's wrong?"

I felt it again. The same thing I felt when I had that first vision. The one thing I left out because I didn't want to worry Jasper. But there was no escaping it. He would see it, and his worry would triple.

I felt it creeping around my brain, like small insects. I felt little jitters pulsating through me. My brain began to compress like it was being smashed together. I started to groan, I couldn't help it.

"Alice what's wrong?" Jasper repeated.

"AAAHHHH," I couldn't withhold it. The screams, like last time. My legs went numb and I fell to the ground. I pressed my hands on either side of my head. The static was like nails on a chalkboard, no, it was worse. My mind was inflamed. It felt like knives were being stuck into it. Like something was burrowing its way inside my head.

I trashed and screeched on the ground, and I felt Jasper's arms around me trying to steady me. But the pain was immeasurable. It was like sharks eating away at me, like spears being thrown at me, like being burned alive. It was happening only in my head.

I barely heard Jasper screaming my name, feeling my pain. It was overpowering. I had never felt such tremendous pain. I hardly remembered the transformation into a vampire, but I recalled enough to know that this was worse.

Out of the darkness and appearing in a flash like the last vision images began flooding me.

But they weren't as clear as last time. They were blurry or maybe even moving too fast. It was like being on a subway and seeing blur's of faces flashing by you. But I did hear something. I tried to ignore the pain but it was futile. Amidst my own screams I overheard what sounded like a carnival.

I could hear laughter, and saw yellow, orange, and red blurs in front of me. Over the blur's I could suddenly make out what looked like a horse made of porcelain. Putting the music and horse together I swear it seemed like I was on a Merry-Go-Around.

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

As swift as it started, it ended just as quick. Once I heard the nursery rhyme the images disappeared. The stabbing in my brain stopped and the fire the blades held seized.

I saw Jasper above me, holding me. He lifted me off the ground and carried me to the car. Within a fraction of a second I was in the car seat and Jasper was already next to me. There was someone coming, humans, and to avoid the scene he secured us back into the vehicle.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He asked frantically, holding my face.

My brain was tender. I breathed, heavily, in and out trying to find some sort of composure again. I felt tired and worn out. The energy was sucked right out of me by the vision. It was ironic, sucked.

"Please drive," I asked him.

"What? Where?" There was only one place I could think of that might hold answers that the newspapers didn't have. Hell, even thinking right now was somewhat painful. My brain needed to recuperate. Whatever it was that was causing this is strong. I was beyond the thoughts of memories or visions of the past. Someone was doing this to me.

"Forks, Jasper. It might have something we overlooked. We need to go. Now!"

Without a second question and obeying my wish Jasper pressed his finger to the slot beneath the steering wheel and the car sprung to life. Ignoring obstacles and speed limits he pulled out of the parking lot and raced down the highway towards Forks.

Someone or something was doing this to me. There was no question now. The first time I experienced this pain I was still puzzled over the cause. But now, like I said, no question, someone was doing this to me; someone that knows about Bella and someone that was trying to cause unendurable pain.

(Third Person Point of View)

Jasper and Alice were gone. Their car was completely out of sight. Jasper pushed the speedometer past 100 mph while still in city limits. Forks, it was like a journey to find the Holy Grail, was the only place in the world that now might hold insight to what happened to Bella and what was happening to Alice.

The boy inside the library whose face was covered by the newspaper folded it back together and tossed it unto the table. He abandoned his post and walked into the back behind the desk. On the floor and tied up with a piece of duct tape over his mouth was another boy that could have been the clerk's twin.

The young man's eyes were red with tears. The other bent down and ripped the duct tape of his lips.

"Ow," he howled. "Please, please, don't kill me," he begged.

His mirror reflection smiled, viciously, patting his head. "You're lips are free, I suggest you use them to call for help."

The twin left the boy on the floor crying and fearing for his life. Whistling a tune he walked carefree across the lobby and outside.

When the boy emerged outside into the cool air his entire appearance changed. The blond hair that sat on top of his head grew dark. Each strain modified itself and changed color. His skinny body expanded, and became much more pronounced and firmer. His useless arms grew slender muscles as did his legs.

Even his clothing changed from a "UE" labeled light blue work shirt, simple jeans, and sneakers into an elegant black tuxedo. The white shirt beneath was slightly unbuttoned and without a tie. It looked expensive.

The young boy, perhaps in his late teens or early twenties danced down the stairs with his hands resting in his pockets.

The tune he whistled transformed into words, "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream," he sang.

He laughed quietly, "I like that last part."

Walking down the street he made two teenage girls stop in their tracks and marvel at him, they giggled, and conversed with each other. They looked back and forth at the beautiful stranger.

As he marched down the walkway humming the tune to row your boat, over and over, he glanced at the moon, and smiled while emulating the moon's silvery glow in his bright and deep emerald eyes.

"Come fly into my cage, you stupid canary's."