I'm really sorry for betraying my own principle: I once promised that I'd make a new story when the current one had finished but, honestly I'm just excited to post this, thinking this story is like my graduation present for this fandom.

I made this in 2 hours without beta as I'm training myself to do present tenses. I do not own anything but this story. :)

I don't know know how I fell in love with him. I don't even know why. Just him simply taking the book down from the highest row of the bookcase in the school library was the start, but along with it, thousands of other reasons develops within my mind as time goes by, and it'd take days to explain them in words. His caring attitude toward the abandoned cat and his passion for books might count as well, but… there are… more…

And why do I let him being inside me, pushing and groping me as he pleases, landing his kisses anywhere on my body? That, I know the answer: because I love him. And with me loving him, it feels like everything he gives to me is brand new. Every touch of him gives fresh sensation of warmth to my body, but oddly makes my mind and heart races out of their capacity.

And it's because I love him that I can endure the pain of this. Added with his cuddling, his soft and deep breath near my ears, and his beautiful amber eyes dazing on me helps reducing the pain of the friction. The tips of his fingers are pressing on my nipples. Sometimes they're replaced with his mouth, and sometimes with his tongue; all of them converts each hurtful thrust to a pleasure wave scorching through my body, albeit fresh tears keep coming out from the corner of my eyes.

My sight goes blur, and I feel like I'm on the edge of heaven, ready to fall for bliss. I can't see clearly anymore how he looks like above me. I can only hear his bed creaking rapidly, harmonized with his pants. As the pace of the thrusting increases, I shut my eyes completely to seal all my expressions, to avoid his gaze, afraid of what he would do if I looked so undone like this.

And as I expected, he's giggling.

This person… This person whose smile can put my life to zero. This person who, by just laughing or giggling, can make my heart die a little.

"Are you spacing out?" He asks between his giggles as he speeds up his pace. I moan out loud and open my eyes to see his face wet with sweats.

"S-senpai… I… love you…" I don't know which part of my voice and my face that provokes him, but he suddenly grab me and pump it fast, and I automatically look down there, to his hand on my... thing, and to where our bodies are connected…

He's doing these things… He's doing it to me. Senpai is… f-filling me…

I love him.

I love him so much.

I will endure any pain just to feel him. I will do everything for him. I am willing to this with him however he likes it, wherever and whenever he wants it; in the library, on his bed, in the classroom. If it means I can make him happy… If it means I can relieve him from his loneliness… If it means I can spend longer time with him... I'll give my everything…

But…

Does he do these things with love? Does he do it because he really loves me?

Does he really love me?

"What are you thinking…?" He breathes to my left ear. "…Ritsu…"

"Sa-Saga… senpai… Aahn…" I have to ask him. I have to.

"…ahh, Senpai…" I try to repeat my effort, but it's in vain.

I surrender and dig my nails to his back; I'm so drowning to the joy that I can't think or even doubt him anymore. Why should I?

He do this to me because he loves me, right? We're making love because we love each other, right?

After 4 years loving him in shadow… senpai loves me back. Ne?

Just the thought of Saga-senpai loving me makes me fly; ecstatic. I scream his name several times as my abdomen is swarmed by my fluid and all I can see are white dots. I close my eyes, savoring every droplet of joy as Senpai speeds up more and more.

"Ritsu…" he breathe my name once again as I feel the warmth and wetness beneath my back. My whole body goes limp, and I try to control my breath.

See? He calls me by my first name. Usually he just says a simple "omae" in casual occasions but whenever we do this, he calls me like that, as if I'm special, as if we're already so close for years…

His lips are slowly trailing from my chin to my lips. He gently nibbles my lower lips, followed by his tongue penetrating my mouth as his thumbs wipe away the tears flowing from the corner of my eyes.

He's so gentle to me. He holds me tight like he wouldn't let me an inch away for a second. This is how a lover would treat a partner, right?

I'm tired though I want to ask it. I'm slowly lulled to sleep though every second awake with him is so precious… I have to ask him… later…

For now, I just let him suck my remaining consciousness.

I love you, Saga-senpai, no matter what...I love you.

Care to leave a comment? :D

I'm planning to make this 3-shots, currently writing for the 2nd chapter.