Revelations in the Rain
DISCLAIMER: "Pride and Prejudice" will forever be beyond my reach, whether it is Ms. Austen's delightful novel or Joe Wright's 2005 film adaptation. This is merely a humble tribute.
NOTE: Happy Valentine's Day!
Welcome to the final chapter of the story!
I have decided to rename it to this new title because, after much deliberation, I feel that it is a better fit to the story as a whole. I'm excited to be finishing this, after all these years.
I missed my deadline last year because I got too busy to write anything but I decided to post this finale as a way of celebrating Valentine's. This was my first multi-chapter Pride and Prejudice story and writing it has been an incredible journey, years in the making, and now I can finally bring it to its happy conclusion.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around for all this time and waited patiently for my infrequent updates. I got a bit lost in the middle of writing this but I found my way in the end and I am just glad that I can finally share this with you all.
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A week passed, and then another, but there was no indication that Mr. Darcy would be arriving in Hertfordshire. This was of little consequence to most of the region's inhabitants. Even Bingley was not overly concerned about this delay because he was in regular correspondence with his friend and was well aware that Darcy always had much business to attend to on a regular basis. So, it was only Elizabeth whose disappointment grew with each passing day.
Worse still was the fact that she was not at liberty to speak of her dismay to anyone, not even to Jane. How could she reveal the secrets of her heart and the deep longing she felt when her beloved sister was basking in her well-deserved happiness? Elizabeth had no other confidante and she dared not reveal more than she feared she already had in speaking so openly of Darcy's good deeds before.
Uneventful days gave time for dangerous speculations, all of which did nothing to lift the lady's spirits. Elizabeth was plagued with different ideas for why Mr. Darcy kept his distance. Perhaps he had changed his mind about coming at all and preferred to meet and congratulate his friend in London or some other fashionable location. But knowing how much Darcy disliked social occasions, Elizabeth doubted that this was the case. On a more serious note, perhaps he had another urgent family matter to attend to, an idea that seemed more likely to Elizabeth. But if this was the case, then she also felt slightly concerned about him, adding to her distress.
Another possibility, and one that pained the lady the most, was the notion that he might not wish to see her at all. Even after the earnest way Darcy had wished that they would meet again in more agreeable circumstances, Elizabeth could not be sure about whether he felt the same way after all this time. After all, that last conversation had been far from pleasant for both of them and had concluded on a somewhat uncertain note.
He had kept his word about making amends in the matter of Jane and Bingley. But beyond that, he owed her nothing, and she certainly had no right to expect to see more of his society merely because his friend would be marrying her sister. So much about their interactions were puzzling, and the more time passed, the less Elizabeth understood about where they both stood and whether she was foolish to expect anything at all.
She could no longer deny, at least to herself, that she longed to see him again even if she had no idea what she would say to him should they come face to face. There was always safety in social convention. They could exchange trite pleasantries with one another, especially in the company of Bingley and her family. At the very least she could inquire after his sister's welfare as a means of initiating conversation. She knew how difficult it was for him to begin any kind of discussion, some of his visits at Hunsford came to mind, but she hoped that they were well-acquainted enough for a more than civil conversation. None of her plans would come to fruition, however, the longer he stayed away.
Adding to Elizabeth's general air of despondency was even more unseasonably rainy weather, with more fog and rain than everyone in Hertfordshire was accustomed to. No one could account for such a temperamental climate and most social was severely limited by these circumstances, with folk choosing to stay within the comfort of their homes. People grew restless indoors but dared not risk getting ill by venturing into the wet countryside. They had to struggle to find ways of amusing themselves while they waited for the sun to shine once more.
Elizabeth's gloomy demeanor, as much as she tried to conceal it, was not lost on Jane. The older Bennet could have no exact suspicion for what was causing her sister's unhappiness and she attributed much to the dismal weather. Whenever she expressed her concern, Elizabeth would simply smile and reassure her that all was well. She would blame the weather for her melancholy and though Jane believed there was more to it than that, she would not pressure her sister for details until the latter was prepared to share them.
The rest of the Bennet household was, naturally, engrossed in Jane's good fortune, a distraction Elizabeth found most welcome. While her mother and younger sisters were too busy to notice the sadness in her eyes, Elizabeth was careful to conceal her feelings from her father, who would sometimes throw her an inquiring glance. She would always respond with a smile and an expression that silently conveyed to him that whatever she was experiencing would soon pass. He would have to content himself with that.
After weeks, the sun finally deigned to shine on Longbourn once more, an event that immediately lifted the spirits of the entire household. They were all determined to make the most of this fine day, with the younger girls finally being allowed to walk to Meryton to visit their friends while Mr. Bingley called on his fiancée at the house before proposing that they all take a stroll outside.
As much as she enjoyed Bingley's company, Elizabeth could not help but feel as if she was intruding on the precious time spent between the happy couple and she made her excuses, claiming that she would join her younger sisters in Meryton for some diversion. Jane knew her well enough to be sure that Elizabeth was most likely to wander around the surrounding woods on her own. There was still a tinge of grey in the clouds and Jane warned her sister not to wander too far away.
"I fear the sunshine will not favor us for too long today," Jane remarked, "And it looks very much like it will rain again this afternoon."
"I think you're right," Elizabeth agreed, "But you must not worry about me. I am well acquainted with these woods and I could not get lost in them even if I tried."
"Just be careful, Lizzy," Jane said in concern.
"I will," Elizabeth reassured her, before taking her leave to enjoy the sunshine and solitude.
The fresh air was rejuvenating, after spending so many days confined to the house, stifled by the lack of activity and exposure. Elizabeth was glad to have some time away from everything, and found, to her delight, that she could even banish her own thoughts as she wandered aimlessly and simply appreciated the glories of nature even just in the countryside.
The roads were still wet and slightly muddy, but such circumstances had never deterred Elizabeth from walking. She relished the exercise and the freedom, smiling warmly at the world despite being alone in her wandering. How strange to think that a few hours of sunlight could bring such peace and renewal.
At length, despite all her efforts, Elizabeth could not avoid thinking of Darcy. Perhaps it was this terrible weather that had prevented his coming and now that the sun was finally shining and the roads were more passable, he would be making his way at last. The prospect gave cheered her up somehow and she made sure to turn her mind to as many pleasant topics as she could as could only befit the lovely weather.
But, as Jane had predicted, the sunshine was not to last and after a few hours, storm clouds filled the sky once more and the rain suddenly fell in torrents. Elizabeth was still some distance from the house the rain had caught her by surprise. She did not dare risk walking all the way back through the storm but she was fortunate that there was a place nearby where she could seek shelter.
It was an old shed not far from the house where she had often sought refuge as a child, away from the chaos of the house, where she could simply sit and read a book in peace. It did not take her long to find her old haunt and she was relieved to find it still open. It was a simple, wooden structure, a barely furnished shed with a wooden stool and some hay in the corner. There was no door but the roof didn't leak so it fulfilled Elizabeth's purpose. She decided to stay and wait until the rain slackened and she would be able to make her way home.
So, she sat and watched the rain for the next few hours. At length she felt a chill and began to shiver slightly, berating herself for not having brought a shawl with her. The sunshine had been so tempting and she had mistakenly believed that the temperatures would remain favorable. Although her current discomfort remained tolerable, she was concerned that her family, Jane in particular, would be worried about her. Jane would know about the shed but Elizabeth hoped that her sister would not venture out into the storm to find her. Hopefully, her family would give her enough credit to know she would have the good sense to find a safe place while the rain fell.
"I suppose this little adventure compensates for the days of drudgery," she mused as she settled in her chair and leaned against the wall of the shed. "I believe I've had more than enough excitement for one day."
"Miss Elizabeth!"
The sound of her name made her jump and Elizabeth Bennet found herself staring face to face with the person who had occupied her thoughts for the past few months.
"Mr. Darcy!"
He had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, soaked to the skin and breathless. He looked relieved to have found her and after recovering from her astonishment, she motioned for him to share the small shelter of the shed and he did so gratefully.
"What are you doing here?" she asked suddenly, without a care for social convention. The current circumstances surely allowed for some exceptions.
"I arrived in Hertfordshire this afternoon," he explained, "I had been due to meet with Bingley much sooner but the abrupt changes in the weather had delayed my journey quite significantly."
Elizabeth could not suppress a laugh at this, prompting her companion to look at her curiously.
"Forgive me," she said, "But it suddenly occurred to me that you and I always seem to meet in the middle of storms, Mr. Darcy."
"So, it seems," Darcy replied with a small smile.
"It is curious," Elizabeth added, unable to resist expressing the idea, "I wonder now if this somehow reflects a certain tempestuousness in our interactions."
She regretted this immediately, particularly when she noticed her companion's expression turn grave.
"I should hope not, Miss Bennet," he said softly, "I know that our last conversation was far from harmonious but it is my intent to remedy that immediately."
Elizabeth stared at him and saw in his eyes the intensity of expression with which he would sometimes look at her in Kent and she felt a surge of emotion she could not name. She nodded in response.
"You seem to be in the habit of remedying things these days," she remarked with a smile, "I know that I have you to thank for my sister's current felicity."
"I simply rectified a grave error I committed," Darcy replied, "And I am happy for both my friend and your sister. I know of no other couple more deserving of happiness."
"I heartily agree," said Elizabeth, "And even if you deny any involvement, I am grateful to you nonetheless for bringing them together."
Darcy gave a short bow of acknowledgment.
"May I inquire after your sister, Mr. Darcy?" Elizabeth said seriously, "I heard from Mr. Bingley that she was ill."
"She is fully recovered now, I thank you," Darcy replied gratefully, "The gravity of her condition had been exaggerated somewhat by our concerned housekeeper, but I stayed with her as long as she needed me."
"You are a most attentive brother," Elizabeth remarked with admiration.
"You're too kind," Darcy replied modestly.
"But how did you know I would be here?" Elizabeth asked suddenly.
Darcy looked slightly embarrassed before explaining. "You must forgive the impropriety of my seeking you out thus," he began, "I had gone to Longbourn as soon as I arrived but I learned from Miss Bennet that you had gone out walking. She had been quite distressed as you had been gone for some time and I volunteered to search for you. Your sister described this place as a possible refuge so I set out to find it."
"And now, you've found me," Elizabeth said softly.
"Yes," was all Darcy could say in response.
They remained silent, as if listening to the sound of the rain around them.
"Miss Elizabeth, I…"
"Mr. Darcy, I…"
They both paused, embarrassed at having spoken at the same time. Darcy conceded first but Elizabeth was not sure how to proceed so she decided to let him take the lead.
"I believe you were interrupted the last time you came to speak to me in the rain," Elizabeth said gently, "I do not think you will be interrupted this time."
Darcy stared at her and nodded. He took a deep breath as he prepared for one of the most important moments of his life.
"Miss Elizabeth, when I approached you last April, I did so in complete ignorance of what your opinion of me must have been," he began nervously, "But I have since realized that you must have despised me not only for the role I had played in separating Bingley from your sister, but also for the abominable way I had behaved towards you and your family in the early stages of our acquaintance. I have spent months reflecting on they way I had acted, and I have found much to censure."
Elizabeth listened to all of this in fascination as Darcy continued his deconstruction of his own character.
"I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle," said he, "As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. I had been almost taught to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. What a fool I have been, a proud, condescending fool! I have truly deserved your dislike."
"Mr. Darcy…" was all Elizabeth could say in reply. This was the longest speech he had ever made to her in all their acquaintance and by far, the most open. She was unsure of how to properly respond to his baring of his soul like this.
"I came looking for you," he continued, his tone penitent, his expression expectant, "I needed to ask you if, by some chance, you can ever forgive me."
Elizabeth stared at him in astonishment, before nodding without hesitation.
"Of course," she whispered, "But only if you can forgive me."
Darcy looked both relieved and puzzled. "But, Miss Elizabeth, whatever for?"
"I will not allow you to take on all the blame when I too have been at fault," Elizabeth explained in earnest, "You are too harsh on yourself, Mr. Darcy, and it is admirable of you not only to admit your flaws but to resolve to change them. I shall endeavour to do the same."
She met his gaze resolutely as she continued to speak. "I told you once that I was attempting to make out your character. But I allowed prejudice to govern me and for some time, I did have a rather poor opinion of you. But all of that changed when I saw you in Kent, when I had the honor of witnessing your true character. I knew at once that I had severely misjudged you and that you were kind, generous, and caring. I was completely wrong about you and for that, I must apologize."
Darcy shook his head and replied gently, "There is nothing to forgive."
"Then, it seems that we can both benefit from this clearer understanding of each other's character," Elizabeth replied with a smile.
"So, you do not hate me, then?" Darcy asked uncertainly.
Elizabeth would have laughed had his expression not been so grave. "Not at all, Mr. Darcy," she reassured him gently, "Far from it."
She blushed as she said this, realizing the implications of such a declaration but she saw Darcy's expression change to one of steely determination. She waited apprehensively for what he would say.
"Then, there is one more thing," the gentleman began carefully, his eyes fixed on her, "Your words have given me some hope, and it is only with this hope that I even dare speak to you of what I have come to feel for you for all these months. Miss Elizabeth, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Elizabeth's blush deepened but she forced herself to return Darcy's gaze.
Encouraged by this, the gentleman continued, "And I now humbly ask if you would do me the great honor of accepting my hand."
He looked at her expectantly, and Elizabeth found herself at a loss for words. But she already knew her answer, she had known her answer for months. She nodded.
"I do accept, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said softly, her eyes filling with happy tears, "With all my heart."
Instinctively, she extended her hand and he took it in both of his before raising it to his lips. Elizabeth gazed in awe at him, still unable to believe that a moment she had only dreamt of but never dared hope for had actually come to pass. Darcy then looked up at her with such a smile as she had never seen on him before, and she was convinced that she had made the most sensible decision of her life.
Darcy raised a hand to tenderly wipe the tears on Elizabeth's face. Slowly, carefully, they leaned forward until their foreheads rested on each other, and they sighed contentedly. At length, they leaned back and after an exchange of meaningful glances, they allowed themselves the luxury of a kiss.
They shared a moment of well-deserved peace even as the rain continued to pour around them.
-FIN-