"How much longer do you think you can avoid this, Clark?" asked an irritated Batman from the other side of the table.

The two were arguing in the middle in a Justice League conference room. The other members of the esteemed team not unaccustomed to conflicts between the two World's-Finest-Heroes were wisely staying the hell out of their way.

"I'm not avoiding anything." insisted an equally irked Superman.

"Well, you have your arms folded in front of you and you're leaning against a wall in a rather surly-teenaged sort of way, your body language suggests you are doing just that: Avoiding." The Man of Steel, of course, straightened out and stood in the most dignified way he could.

"Look, I don't know what you want from me, Bruce. I didn't ask for him to be here and I'm not ready for him to be. I have no idea how to even talk to this kid much less help him out in any way." Superman tried to explain.

"At this point I'm told he just wants to be assured that you don't resent his existence." Batman responded. There was a pause followed by: "You don't, do you?"

"Of course not!" Superman assured. "It's just… well how would you feel if someone stool your DNA, one of the core things you use to define yourself by, and used it for their own twisted purposes? Then they took your stolen DNA and used it to bring another life into this world which for all intents and purposes might as well be your biological son. But he's already a teenager, already has friends and already has the character to be a great hero, and now he's looking at you to accept him, teach him and make everything okay."

"Was that a question or did you just need to vent?"

"Look he's in a good place where he is. You, Red, and Canary are doing an excellent job with him. He doesn't even need me." Batman's patience expired at that moment and stood up.

"I see if the decision is left up to you, you will never make the right one." Batman said as he took the communicator out of his pocket and started hitting buttons.

"Does this mean you'll finally let me be on this matter?" asked Supes shocked at the Dark Knight's apparent surrender.

"Far from it." The Batman paused to say. "It just means this decision won't be left up to you any longer." Superman quickly got up and blocked the dark figures exit.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" asked the Man of steel towering over tech based hero.

"Now your puffed up chest and fully realized height an long with the irregular close proximity suggest your trying to go for some kind of physical intimidation." the world's greatest detective deduced. "I would just like to remind you that it wouldn't take a lot for me to reach into the 5th side compartment on my belt and quickly end any kind of delusions you had of trying that with me again." Batman continued in his usual even voice as he brushed past The Man of Steel. He never got sick of the I-carry-kryptonite card.

"Alfred, I'm going to need you to make some calls."

"Ms. Lane?" A low voice asked from the darkness. Like any sensible woman Lois Lane immediately jumped in surprise at the sudden intrusion.

"I don't know who you are!" she shouted grabbing the nearest thing she could find for protection in this case it just happened to be a flower pot. "But I wouldn't come any closer if I were you, I know Superman!"

"I'm sorry to have startled you Ms. Lane." The shadowy figure spoke as it stepped out into the light. She started to back away from the strange darkly clad man, before her eyes widened in recognition.

"Batman, right?" She asked beginning to relax. "Still not using doors I see."

"I'm not here to harm you. You can put down the poor hydrangeas now."

"Ah! Yes, of course." She said blushing slightly.

"Also, the whole I-know-Superman-defense might deter a common thug but if you encounter a villain of a slightly higher caliber it would be safer not to make yourself seem like perfect hostage material."

"I know that." She said calmly taking a seat on a patio chair. "Believe it or not "I know Superman" is like the new "I have a wife and kids" or "I have family in Brooklyn" in Metropolis, so by saying it I would seem like a common scared woman who's bluffing through her teeth." She explained.

"Once again you surprise me with your forward thinking." Batman commended.

"And once again I'll pretend that, that is a compliment." She said gesturing for the Dark Knight to select a seat across from her.

Batman opted to stay standing and instead stated his business.

Several hours latter Superman shuffled into the relatively nice apartment he shared with Lois after a long day on the job. He gracelessly collapsed on the couch ignoring how it's legs creaked with protest. His few moments of relaxation were interrupted when the sound of the patio door slamming could be heard.

"I hope you're comfortable on that couch, Clark! Because that's where you'll be sleeping tonight!" The voice of an angry Lois Lane could be heard entering the kitchen.

'Oh boy, Scary Lois, Just what I needed on a day like today.' Clark thought sarcastically. She came out bearing a tray stacked high with sandwiches and four glasses of lemonade. But she stalked right past Clark and back out onto the patio.

An utterly confused Clark Kent followed his fiancée out to the patio.

"What's going on out he-" the Man of Steel stopped in his tracks as he saw who was on the patio. Lois Lane, his beautiful fiancée, was serving sandwiches to Batman, Robin, Superboy.

"Thank you, Lois." Batman said. "These are actually... Well-"

"Edible?" Asked Louis sarcastically "Don't get used to it Bats anything else that comes out of that kitchen is typically discolored for one reason or another. Did I tell you about the time Clark tried to bake me cookies using his heat vision yet?"

"Superboy tried to do that." Robin chipped in. "They were actually better that Megan's." then he stopped "Please don't tell her I said that." Robin begged the teen of steel to his right. Said teen seemed more than a bit overwhelmed by the thought of being on Superman's porch with Superman's girl friend, and eating Superman's food… heavy on the over.

"Well this Megan and I have something in common, then." Lois joked at her own expense. Before the smile disappeared as her eyes moved to the doorway where her soon to be husband stood like a deer in headlights.

"For god's sakes, Clark it's rude to lurk in doorways. What were you raised in a barn?...Er well you all know what I meant!"

Clark muttered a quick apology and sat at one of the open seats at the table between Robin and Lois.

"So why exactly are you all here?"asked Superman, dreading the answers.

"Moral support!" Robin said still munching on the sandwiches. No one else saw fit to answer the hero.

"Well since we can now add tattletale to the LONG list of names the capped crusader here is called we might as well have at it." Superman said not wanting to sit in awkward silence any longer.

"Not yet." said Batman checking his watch. "But soon." He assured.

"My favorite was "The Goddamned Batman"." Robin said to the meta-human-teen on his side.

"No way "Dark Knight" is a classic." Superboy disagreed relaxing a bit.

"You're just saying that because of the movies ya band-wagoner." Batman didn't like how comfortable Robin seemed between two S-shields they'd have to talk later.

"Look, Batman, while I admit that telling my fiancée on me was crafty business if your master plan as to get Lois on board than you might want to re-work it a bit."

"Sorry, Clark." Batman said evenly "This is only the prelude."

"What are you talking about? What else do you have planed?" Clark asked.

That was apparently all Bruce felt inclined to say as he leaned back in his chair a small smile playing on his lips.

"What's he planning?" Clark tried the other occupants of the table.

Lois Lane crinkled he eyebrows confused and shrugged her shoulders she had assumed she was the plan. Superboy hadn't made eye contact with him since he had arrived and wasn't starting now it seemed. And Robin laughed and elbowed Clark's arm a bit.

''Just wait, it's a good one." Robin assured him.

The occupants of the room sat in silence for a moment as Bruce just sipped his lemonade, Superboy stared at his feet, Robin reached for yet another sandwich, Lois cleared some dishes, and Clark wished he was dead.

Then all of a sudden the door bell rang and Lois and Clark both got up to answer it. However, halfway towards the door, Clark stopped dead in his tracks. He recognized the foot falls of the people walking towards the door he knew their heart beats and the sounds of their short breath, he didn't even have to use his X-Ray vision to know exactly who was behind that door. He turned to Bruce.

"You didn't."

"I did." Just then Lois twisted the knob on the door and swung it open to reveal a tanned and angry elderly couple.

"Where is he?" Martha Kent demanded Storming into the apartment.

"Ma, I-" Clark tried.

"Not you." She snapped. "I want to see my grandson!"

"Hello Lois." Jonathan greeted politely.

"Hello Jonathan, How was the trip?"

"A lot like this." He said gesturing to his angry wife.

"He's out here Mrs. Kent!" They heard Robin call from the outside patio.

The group walked out, only to discover the Bats were gone and it was just Superboy sitting all alone at the table.

"W-where did they go?" Lois asked surprised.

"It's Batman." Clark sighed. "He does that."

"I don't know about any Batman." Martha said as she walked over to Superboy. "But what I do know is there is a handsome young boy in my presence that I've yet to be introduced to."

"I- I'm sorry, Ma." Clark said. "Ma and Pa, this is Superboy. Superboy, Martha and Jonathan Kent… my parents.

"Good to meet ya."Pa said extending his hand to shake. Superboy just looked at it confused.

"Err, I'm sorry, I'm not accustomed to a lot of this culture's- heck, any culture's gestures or idiosyncrasies." Connor said apologetically. Jonathan shot a dirty look at his son.

"Well that's no problem you see when someone new enters a room you're supposed to stand up and greet them." Connor immediately stood. "Good. And, when being introduced to someone it's customary to shake that person's hand. Like this." He said as he looked at Lois who offered her hand, the two shook and looked back to Kon.

"Ya see? Now remember: It's important for a man to have a firm grip, but as a Super, ya gotta pull yer strength a bit so you don't crush any ones figures." He offered his hand again and this time Connor reached back and shook it.

"There ya go." Jonathan said proudly.

"I can't believe the hand shake is what you found unacceptable." Lois piped in. "Clark just introduced him as "Superboy", this child has no name!" Lois announced.

"I-I guess I do." Connor said. "My friends call me: Connor Kent."

"Well at least ya gave him the family name." Martha said to Clark evenly.

"Actually, the Martian Man Hunter gave me the name "Kent" I just discovered Superman's secret Identity today." Once again Superman was met with three icy glares. It was getting to the point that even Connor was starting to feel sorry for him.

"So how old are you?" Martha asked taking a seat.

"Um, well, that's difficult to say." Superboy sat down, too.

"Son, it's not complicated. How long have you been in this world?" Jonathan asked taking a seat next to his wife. Lois and Clark followed in suit.

"Well, physically: about sixteen, However, I escaped the Laboratory that harvested me about four months ago, but the cloning process began about sixteen weeks before that... I had been given an impromptu education though, I can read and write and I know the names of most things, so my age in terms of maturity is anyone's guess."

"Whoo boy, That is quite an odd situation to be in." Jonathan granted.

"And why 'Connor'?" Martha asked curiously.

"Well, my girlfriend liked the name so I-"

"Wait. Wait. Hold on a second. Girlfriend? You're not even a year old and you're already in a romantic relationship?" Lois asked disapprovingly.

"According to what Batman's told me," Martha interjected. "You have a hard time interacting with people, have gotten in a couple of fights around school and don't even know how to work a television and yet you have a girlfriend?"

"Hold on one more second!" Jonathan spoke up. "Just where have you been living the last couple of months?"

"Um, in the Young Justice head quarters."

"And what about this girl of yours?"

"Well, she also lives there-"

"Unacceptable!" Martha announced. "Who exactly has been supervising you?"

"Well, Red Tornado lives there too, but he always tries to stay out of our ways and-"

"So, let me get this straight: Two teenagers, one of whom has no idea how relationships of any kind work beyond four months of experience, in a romantic relationship are living together under the same roof with no one there to watch them except for a robot who likes to make himself scarce?"

"That's… pretty much my situation." Connor said not seeing what was wrong with it. Martha took a deep breath to try to calm herself.

"What about your education?" Lois asked seriously.

"I'm in high school right now. And I'm making good grades in everything but Social Studies and Gym."

"Why's that?" Jonathan asked.

"In Social Studies it's because I have a hard time understanding why countries go to war and why people do things. And in gym, I never know how much to pull my strength and am afraid of hurting someone." admitted embarrassed.

"Okay, at least your education's more or less in order." Martha said gratefully.

"What about your Super heroing? Why have I never heard of you at all?" Jonathan.

"Well Batman only gives us secret-undercover-scouting-like missions." Connor explained.

"What? Why?" Connor just shrugged.

"That's not acceptable either." Lois decided. "You're a Super, you need to be instilled with a strong sense of morals and use your powers for the betterment of humanity, out in the sun, where your powers work best and where people can know your name. Not in the dark as Batman's secret spy."

"I agree." Martha said. "When you put that S-Shield on you are promising to be a champion of the people and a hero to the downtrodden not another Robin."

"The social interaction he's been getting also worries me." Jonathan spoke up "Sure he has super hero friends and maybe one or two normal friends but to me it sounds like he spends most of his time with an un-feeling machine and an alien, which hey nothing wrong with that. I'm just concerned that he's going to have a very hard time being "Connor Kent" in the future and living among normal humans in his civilian identity."

Martha and Jonathan looked at each other and locked eyes. Clark watched impressed as his parents had one of their silent conversations, he may have been more in love with Lois than he had ever been with anyone before but he knew they were decades away from knowing each other that well. The two nodded at each other and turned to the Clone.

"Connor, we would like for you to come and live with us in Smallville." There was a silence in the room as her words sunk in.

"Um," Connor hesitated. "Mrs. Kent, I'm sorry but I-"

"Ma."

"What?"

"From now on, call me Ma, Everyone else does."

"Uh, okay, Ma, I just met you less than half an hour ago. I really don't think you can tell me what to do."

"Well of course I can." Martha said as she leaned and hugged the teenager. "I'm practically your grandma and Connor, you need a family."

All of a sudden all of the arguments and complaints that Superboy had previously had dissipated. He kind of liked the idea of having a family, while the vague sense of familial closeness he felt towards his friends was nice, he had no idea how much he was missing a mother's love until he experienced it firsthand.

"Alright." He agreed a bit begrudgingly. "But why Smallville, wherever that is, why can't I live here in Metropolis, with Superman so he can show me how to control my powers?"

"Well for one, I don't believe a big city like this is any place to raise a child, and also Clark and Lois are too career-oriented to raise a dog much less a child."

"Well to be fair, Krypto is much more than "a Dog", Martha." Lois reminded.

"And as for learning the specs of your abilities," Jonathan said "I'm sure Clark wouldn't mind flying out to Smallville twice a week to teach you the ropes. Clark?"

"I'd love to." Clark said defeated, he understood he had no legs to stand on here.

"Alright, now that we're all in agreement." Martha said. "Connor Kent, pack your bags. You're moving to Smallville."

Let me know if I should continue this.

The versions of Ma and Pa Kent here are the "Man of steel" origins. Because it is my favorite version of them and the one that raised Kon in the comics, (Oh and also: F**K THE DC RE-BOOT FOR KILLING THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE! DIE IN A FIRE!) That is all.