A/N I have been wanting to do a Lomille for ages now, so… This kinda just popped out. I don't know if anyone ever wondered what happened to Camille's mother, but I randomly did. And I, for some reason, have this urge to crumble Camille into a million pieces so that Logan can put her back together again. This is supposed to be for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it's pretty late because I have been busy and haven't had time to post it 'til now. I own nothing. Hope you enjoy it
Logan was currently sunk into the cozy cushions of a couch in the Palmwoods lobby, focusing intently on the person he was watching. Even though he was in LA, it was mid-January and the weather was a bit too chilly to be hanging out on the pool deck, so all of the Palmwoods kids were crammed inside the lobby, skateboarding and breaking into the vending machines and generally driving Mr. Bitters insane. But Logan was unaware of all the excited commotion around him. He was watching one girl only.
Camille sat on the opposite side of the lobby, ignoring Guitar Dude and the small musical circle next to her. She had her chin resting on her fist, dark hair covering her sad chocolate eyes. Her usually creamy skin was pale and ashen, and she seemed completely lethargic. It was so… Unlike Camille, as the petite brunette was usually the loudest and most energetic person in the Palmwoods, save for Carlos. But there were no slapping of random boys or engulfing Logan's face in dramatic kisses. There were no crazy costumes, or scripts that she hungrily read lines from over and over again. Today, she just sat there, doing and saying nothing. It concerned Logan.
"Dude, you are so not over that girl," Kendall's voice suddenly commented, startling Logan out of his analyzing stare. His blonde friend sat next to him and followed Logan's gaze, which was fixed on Camille's lonely figure.
Logan scowled. "For your information, I am not staring at her, Kendall."
"Um, yes you are."
"Not in that way! I'm worried about her. Look at her, she looks all depressed and stuff. I have barely seen her move an inch all day. Do you have any idea what's wrong with her?"
Kendall wrinkled his nose. "Nope, but you're right, she's acting pretty weird. You should go be a good boyfriend and check on her."
"I'm not her boyfriend!"
"Yeah, whatever," Kendall said, shoving his small friend off of the couch. Logan fell on his knees, but quickly got to his feet and brushed his jeans off. After giving Kendall a dirty glare, Logan slowly approached Camille. He came up beside her and folded his hands nervously.
"Hey, Camille?"
The brunette nearly jumped out of her skin. Her face had paled even more so as she bounced in her seat with a gasp.
"Whoa, sorry Camille! I didn't mean to scare you!" Logan frantically apologized. Camille merely cracked a dull, lifeless smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Oh, hey Logan. Don't worry about it, I was completely dazed off."
Logan smiled shyly and hesitantly sat next to Camille on the couch. He wanted so desperately to know what was wrong with the usually perky girl he had grown to care for. It hurt to see her so upset about something, especially when he didn't know what that "something" was.
"Is everything ok, Camille?" Logan blurted out of curiosity. He cringed, thinking he was too forward, but Camille's face softened and, it could have just been Logan's hopeful imagination, but she seemed to lean closer to him. He suddenly had this image of scooping her lithe body into his arms and holding her until she smiled again, but he quickly blinked it away.
"Yeah, everything is fine, Logan," Camille said, but her slow, saddened voice seemed to contradict her words.
"Are you sure? You look kind of upset about something and you haven't been you know… Your crazy self all day," Logan said. Camille's dewy eyes seemed to deem the ugly carpeting as interesting. She refused to make eye contact with Logan as she shrugged his concern off.
"It's just been a rough couple of days and I'm not really feeling myself right now," Camille mumbled. Logan's jaw nearly dropped. He had never heard Camille mumble once since he had met her. She usually spoke with such clarity and confidence and now he could barely make out her quiet, slurred words.
"Well, are you feeling sick?" Logan asked, hoping he wasn't pressing too hard for information, but at the same time he wanted her to know that he cared. And to be honest, even though he didn't want her to be sick, the thought of doctoring Camille up was pretty inviting. He had never seen this side of Camille. She was so vulnerable right now. While he found it attractive, it was also very concerning.
Logan's stomach dropped when Camille gave a small nod. He reached out to touch her shoulder at the exact moment she heaved herself to her feet.
"I think I'm going to head up to the apartment," Camille announced.
"Oh, ok. You can call me if you need anything," Logan said, disappointed. The corners of Camille's mouth lifted again, so slightly that it didn't even show her small dimples, and her eyes lacked the sparkle that they always seemed to have.
"Thanks Logie," the young girl said, and with that she disappeared into the elevator. Logan sighed. Something was really wrong with Camille, and he was determined to find out what it was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Logan anxiously waited at his desk for Camille to show up for school, but she never came. Throughout the whole lesson he constantly looked over his shoulder to her abandoned desk as if she somehow snuck in during class without Ms. Collins noticing. But she never came. After class, Logan timidly approached Ms. Collins desk and waited for her to acknowledge him. Because Logan was so small and quiet, it took her a few moments to realize he was standing there patiently.
"Oh! Logan, what can I do for you?" Ms. Collins asked when she finally noticed his presence.
"Um, well I was just wondering if you have heard from Camille at all today?" Logan asked politely. He was worried that Camille might really be sick, and his worries were confirmed when Ms. Collins answered him.
"Her father called and told me she wasn't feeling good and wouldn't make it class today, poor thing."
"Oh," Logan said. "Thanks Ms. Collins." He left the classroom and joined Carlos, James and Kendall who were waiting up for him in the hall.
"What took you so long, dude?" Carlos asked. "Let's go to the pool!"
"Um, you guys go on without me," Logan said distractedly. "I have something to do really quick. Maybe I'll meet you guys down there."
"Is everything ok?" Kendall questioned immediately. Logan rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I just want to check on Camille. Something is bothering me about her and I can't quite put my finger on it," Logan replied.
"Ooh, is it your undying love for her?" Carlos asked teasingly in a cheesy, romantic voice. Logan nudged the boy in the ribs.
"Carlos, shut up. She's sick," Logan said. This got all 3 of his friend's attentions. They all turned to look at him, mildly alarmed.
"She's sick?" James asked. "But Camille never gets sick."
Logan shrugged. "Well, for some reason I think it's more than just that. I'll see you guys in a little bit." Logan waved to his friends and went up to Camille's apartment. He stood at her door, staring at it nervously for a few seconds like he normally did while he gathered his thoughts so he wouldn't stutter, than knocked softly. To his surprise, it was Camille who answered the door, not her dad.
"Hey Camille," Logan said. He was genuinely happy to see her. She always brightened up his day whenever he saw her. But he wasn't very happy with the condition she seemed to be in. She didn't look like Camille. She looked so small and weak, dressed in blue plaid jammie pants and a white, fluffy robe, rather than the tight, cute outfits she wore on a daily basis. Her hair was tousled, her skin was even paler than the other day, and the youthful, energetic vibe she always radiated was gone, as if whatever happened to her sucked all the life from her.
"Hi Logan," she said. Her usual flirty tone and the seductive look in her eyes were missing, and Logan suddenly felt very protective of her.
"Um, your dad said you weren't feeling good and I just wanted to make sure you're ok. So… Are you ok?"
Camille shrugged. "Yeah, I'm alright."
"Are you sure? Because you don't look so good," Logan said, than instantly became flustered. "I-I mean not that you don't look good, you always look good, I just-"
"Logan, I know what you meant," Camille said with a small laugh. It was short, but it had the same ring to it that Logan knew and loved. Logan smirked, embarrassed.
"You kind of worried me last night, Camille," Logan said honestly. "Are you really ok? You can talk to me if you need to, you know that right?"
Camille smiled, suddenly feeling shy. Even though they had broken up, Logan was still the only boy who could make her heart flutter nervously. She studied him for a moment. She could tell he was honestly concerned for her. His voice and eyes held so much emotion. She was scaring him, and she knew it. His eyes were warm and inviting, practically begging her to let him help. But she just didn't know if she wanted to let Logan in yet. She had been struggling with this for years, and she had always dealt with it on her own. Was she really ready to accept the help Logan was so willingly, and blindly, offering her?
"Camille?" Logan asked softly, watching her as she sighed and bit her lip thoughtfully.
"I just don't know if I am ready to talk about it yet, Logan," she finally said apologetically. "Thanks though."
"Yeah, ok," Logan said, a bit dejected. He wanted her to feel comfortable telling him anything.
"I'll see ya later, Logan," Camille said, starting to close the door slightly. Her heart felt heavy when she saw the hurt expression fill Logan's chocolate eyes. She felt like a horrible person when the door clicked shut. She stood with her hand on the knob, thinking for a few quick seconds before reopening the door. Logan was making his way down the hall, shoulders slumped and hands shoved in the pockets of his grey cardigan.
"Logan?" She called softly, and the smart boy turned around, hope flooding his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think maybe you can keep me company until my dad comes home?" Camille asked shyly. He smiled warmly and all but skipped back to her apartment.
"I'd love to, Camille," he said sweetly. She moved back and let him inside her small apartment. Surprisingly, it was warm and homey inside. He was expecting electric green walls and bubble machines, but it almost resembled an old granny's cottage. There were cute knickknacks everywhere and photo frames. Logan casually looked around at the wooden furniture and photos.
"Your apartment is really sweet," Logan commented. "And it smells good in here."
"Thanks, I'm baking some cookies. Chocolate chip. You want some?" Camille gestured to the kitchen. Logan nodded eagerly. Camille giggled. It was no rumor that food really was the way to a man's heart.
The pair sat together in the cozy kitchen with a huge plate of cookies. Camille merely nibbled at her cookie though, and of course, Logan took notice of this and cleared his throat before speaking.
"Um, is your stomach hurting or something?" He asked timidly. Camille blushed and set down her cookie.
"No, I just don't have an appetite right now. I thought chocolate might cheer me up but I guess not."
"Oh, well I can try to cheer you up," Logan said, suddenly feeling awkward for some reason while he tried to come up with suggestions to cheer the sad girl up. "We could play a game, if you want. Or watch a movie?"
"Movie sounds good," Camille said meekly. Logan inwardly cheered when he got a positive response and quickly got out of his chair.
"Let's watch something funny, you pick," Logan said. Camille nodded. Logan's laughter was very contagious, and she hoped that hearing his laughter would take her mind off of the thoughts that were weighing heavy on her.
Camille set up a movie for them to watch and they both settled down on the couch. They sat in blissful silence for the next hour, their occasional chuckles being the only interruption. Camille took the quiet moment to contemplate things. As the afternoon stretched on, she realized more and more that she could not, and did not, want to do this alone anymore, and if there was anyone she felt comfortable telling, it would be sweet, understanding Logan.
"Hey Logie?" Camille asked quietly, pressing the pause button on the remote. Logan looked at her curiously.
"What's up?" He asked casually, turning his full attention on her. Camille curled her legs up beneath her so she sat Indian style and turned to face her.
Camille drew in a deep, shaky breath. "The reason why I missed school isn't because I'm sick."
Logan grinned and placed a hand atop her cool forehead. "Really? You could have fooled me," he said with a wink. Camille smiled, but when she didn't continue, Logan lowered his hand to her shoulder and squeezed gently.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, Camille. I just want you to know I am here for you is all."
Camille nodded, already feeling tears well up in the corners of her eyes, because what did she ever do to deserve such an amazing friend?
"I know, Logan. And thank you for that. But I want to tell you now. You have always been there for me and you deserve to know. Follow me." Camille got off the couch and led Logan to her bedroom, where she sat him down on her hot pink quilted bed and rustled around in her bedside table for a moment before pulling out a small slip of paper. She looked at it sadly for a moment then handed it to a confused Logan.
"What is this?" He murmured, eyes darting back and forth on the parchment. His mouth went dry and his stomach twisted with dread as he read the black ink out loud.
"'God hath not promised skies always blue, flower stream pathways all our lives through; God hath not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
'But God hath provided strength for the day, rest for the labor, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy, and undying love.
'Celebrating the life and memory of Dolores Jane Roberts, loving wife, mother and daughter. Given to the world June 11th, 1965 called to heaven January 14th, 2008.'"
The rest of the writing was information on the funeral service, but Logan's mind had temporarily stopped working. He could only stare at the parchment in shock. He was speechless, for once in his life. What could he possibly say? Camille's mother had died. Today was January 14th, 2011. It was the 3rd anniversary of her mother's death. No wonder she had seemed so upset. He would have never guessed that such a lively girl could be hiding such a sad secret.
"Camille, I had no idea… I'm so sorry," Logan finally said, handing her the piece of paper. He was afraid he would somehow crumble or tear the small piece of memory Camille had of her mother.
"Don't be sorry," Camille said. "It's not… it's not something to be sorry over. And I don't want you to be sad for me, Logie." Camille reached over and wiped a small teardrop that rolled down his flushed cheek. She couldn't believe how empathetic Logan could be, it just overwhelmed her. She never met someone so caring in her life.
"My mom was everything to me, Logan. I loved her so much. We were more like sisters than mother and daughter. It was always just me and her, since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad, they divorced when I was so little, and I rarely saw my dad. I used to spend one Saturday a month with him, and then I only spent holidays and birthdays with him, and then it got to the point where he would just send me a card and some money at Christmastime. It was just me and my mom, toughing it out. We had so much fun, living in our little apartment. We didn't have much, not much at all, but it worked for us. She worked so hard for me, Logan…" Camille paused so she could wipe a few crystalline tears from her dark eyes. She sniffled and took a couple shaky breaths before continuing.
"When I was 14, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She tried to hide it from me, which at first I was mad about but now I know why she did it. But eventually, I found out. She started losing her hair. I found her on the bathroom floor one day, sobbing her eyes out and there was just this huge clump of her hair beside her. Suddenly, everything made sense. I suddenly realized why I seemed to be spending the night at Grandma's house more than normal, because for the couple of days after her chemo session she would be too weak to care for me. She always told me she was just 'busy at the office.' I had no idea that my mom had been suffering for over 2 months. When I found her in the bathroom, I just held her for hours and let her cry, and I promised that I would be strong for her and I would be her rock through everything. She fought for a whole year and I never shed a tear throughout the whole ordeal. I was determined to be everything my mom needed. She used to call me her angel. And she promised she would do anything to help my dreams of becoming an actress come true once she was better again." Camille took a deep breath. "We both thought for sure she would get better, Logie. I didn't care about anything, not even being an actress, while she was sick. All I cared about was her. She forced me to go to school and be with my friends, but all I wanted was to be there for her while she was getting better. I wanted my crazy, sweet, strong mommy back. When you're 14, you are still kind of under the impression that your mother is this… I don't know... some kind of God or something. Mommies don't cry. When everything else is falling to pieces in your little pre-teen world, mommy is the one thing that is solid. But for me, my mom was the one who was falling to pieces. It was so strange. I had the hardest time trying to understand it.
"One day, I came home from school and I was in the kitchen chattering away about how I had nailed the audition for the school play that my mother begged me to try out. I knew mom was home, she had been too sick all week to do anything or go anywhere. Every day, I would come home from school and she would greet me from her bedroom. I would grab a snack and go stay with her in her room for the entire evening. But this time, she never greeted me. I didn't think anything of it, but when I went into her room with my plate of chocolate chip cookies, she was… I thought she was sleeping. But she wasn't." Camille let out a small sob, but pulled herself together quickly. "The cancer had manifested to her brain. The doctors didn't even know. It happened so suddenly. They thought they had it controlled, but…" Camille brought her knees to her chest and covered her face with her hands. She hated crying in front of anyone, even Logan. She was supposed to be strong. It was what she had promised her mom so many years ago. No matter how hard it was, she wanted to keep that promise.
"Even when she was at her sickest moments, mom still managed to do little things for me. Those cookies had been baked fresh that morning, Logan. On top of the plate was a little note that said 'I love you' with a goofy smiley face drawn on it. I can't help but think that maybe she baked those cookies and left me that note because she knew what was going to happen. It's bittersweet to think about.
"Anyway, after mom died, dad automatically gained custody over me, even though I hadn't seen him in years. He moved me out here a couple of months later, I guess in a way of trying to make up his abandonment to me. He wanted me to start over, miles and miles away from where I used to live with my mom. And I did, I started over, I made my dreams come true, something my mom made me promise I would do, no matter what happened. She used to tell me while she was sick to put all of that passion and hurt and anger into my art, and I would become a star. And here I am. I'm a star. But I would give anything… God I would give my last breath to just spend another day by her side, drawing giant chalk murals together in the park and baking strange concoctions in the kitchen. I just want to talk to her Logan. I want to tell her about all the amazing things that happened to me, I want to ask her what it's like in heaven. I just want to be with her, Logan."
Logan reached his hand out and touched Camille's damp cheek soothingly. He was about to say something, but a door suddenly thudded shut and Camille's dad called for her. Before they could register it, he was in her bedroom, looking at Logan questioningly.
"Um, hello?" Camille's father asked sternly, practically glaring at Logan because what father would be ok with a teenage boy sitting on his daughters bed while they were alone in the apartment?
"Oh, sorry Sir, I was just here to keep Camille company," Logan said quickly. Camille nodded earnestly. Any stray tears were wiped away but if you looked closely enough you could tell she had been crying.
"It's true dad, this is Logan Mitchell from Big Time Rush. Remember him?"
"Oh!" Camille's father said, his eyes lighting up with recognition. "I forgot! The little nerd boy. How are you doing?"
"Um, I'm fine Sir," Logan said politely before turning to Camille and mouthing the words, "Little Nerd Boy?"
Camille laughed and shrugged. "What? It was the only way to get my dad to like you," she whispered teasingly.
"Well, I better go," Logan said when he noticed Mr. Roberts staring at him expectantly. He got the general feeling that he wanted Logan to leave. "I'll uh, call you tonight, ok? We'll talk some more."
Camille nodded. "Ok, I'd like that. Thanks Logie."
Logan nodded and smiled before ducking out of the apartment shyly. His head was reeling from everything Camille had told him. He could not believe that she had been holding in so much pain. It was amazing the kind of stories the most wonderful people in the world held.
It didn't take Logan long to come up with a plan to help Camille. He wanted to show her he cared, he wanted to show her that there could be light in the sorrow.
Logan grinned to himself. It would take several phone calls, some research, and a trip to the mall, but he was finally going to be able to help the girl he cared most for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was 9 0' clock that night and, after hours of planning and begging for permission for Mama Knight, Logan was making sure he had everything packed and ready inside of the BTRMobile. He realized that what he was about to do was probably the most spontaneous thing he's ever done for a girl. No, the most spontaneous thing he had ever done in his life, which is really saying something when you have Kendall, James and Carlos as your best friends.
'I can't believe you're going to kidnap Camille," Carlos said, walking along side Logan to the pool deck.
"For the 50th time, I am not kidnapping her!" Logan said. They arrived underneath Camille's window, where James was setting up the ladder to reach her bedroom. "I'm just taking her somewhere."
"Without her permission," James chimed in.
'Which is technically kidnapping," Carlos said. Logan groaned in frustration.
"Ok, that's enough. Thanks for your help, I have got it from here," Logan said.
"Yay!" James said. "I don't really want to be arrested so see ya!" James disappeared back into the Palmwoods and Carlos disappeared behind him.
"I'm not doing anything illegal!" Logan argued, even though nobody was listening. He climbed the ladder and knocked on Camille's dark window softly. It took a moment, but a dim light clicked on and Camille pushed aside the curtains curiously. Her eyes lit up when she saw Logan smiling at her, and she undid the latch and pulled the window up.
"Logan! What are you doing here?" She whispered, pleasantly surprised. She had been feeling incredibly lonely all evening and seeing Logan warmed her insides like hot chocolate. Logan's cheeks were dusted a light pink as he ducked his head shyly.
"If it's ok, I want to show you something, Camille. Will you come with me?"
Camille's heart skipped a beat at Logan's soft words. His eyes shone in the silvery glow of the nearly full moon, and he seemed endearingly nervous, it was nearly impossible to deny him.
"Um, I'm sort of just in my pajamas-"
"That's ok," Logan said quickly. "You don't need to be dressed for where we are going."
"Ok, well let me at least put on a hoodie," Camille said. She grabbed a black fleece sweatshirt off of her bed and slipped it on over her sleep t-shirt. Logan took her hand and his and carefully helped her out the window, than slowly climbed down. When both his feet were on solid ground, he put both hands around Camille's small waist and lifted her off the second to last rung and set her gently on the ground.
"Aw, such a gentleman," Camille cooed. Logan rubbed the back of his warm neck and smiled crookedly.
"I didn't wake you up, did I Camille?"
"Nah, I was just lying down. I couldn't sleep. Um, dare I ask where we are going?"
"You can ask, but I can't tell you. It's sort of a surprise, but I think you'll like it. It's kind of a far drive though. Are you ok with that?"
Camille's eyebrows rose with curiosity. She wondered what Logan had planned in such a short amount of time. "Yeah, of course I'm ok with that. I'll go anywhere with you Logan."
Once again, Camille's words made Logan blush. She enjoyed getting that reaction out of the shy, romantic boy.
"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Logan asked. He reached out his hand, and Camille slipped her fingers through his, savoring the warm feeling his hand brought her. His fingers were so soft, yet strong. They seemed to hold onto her protectively, sending little zings of electricity through her hand and up her arm when he occasionally rubbed her palm or squeezed her hand affectionately. Camille didn't even know how much she truly missed Logan until today.
Logan opened the passenger side door to the BTRMobile for Camille, than closed it when she settled in and got in the cherry red car on the driver's side. He pressed a button on the front of the dash, and Camille's favorite band played on low volume through the speakers. He then handed her a small thermos and a fleece blanket.
"Logan, you are so thoughtful! Mmm, is this my favorite coffee?" Camille asked, smelling what was inside the thermos. Logan shrugged shyly.
"It's going to be kind of a long ride, so I wanted you to be comfortable. Do you need anything else?"
"No, this is perfect," Camille said, practically speechless. She was torn between squealing like one of Logan's little fan girls and throwing her arms around him and squeezing all the cuteness out of him.
"Ok, well buckle up and we'll be on our way," Logan said, a hint of excitement in his voice. He made sure Camille was strapped in tight and tucked in with her blanket before pulling out of the parking lot and driving towards the highway.
"My dad is going to go insane if he finds out I am missing," Camille said.
"Oh, don't worry your dad already knows where I am taking you. I decided not to take the risk of possibly being murdered for sneaking you out in the middle of the night."
Camille laughed. "Then why did you still sneak into my room through my window?"
"I don't know, I thought it would be more fun that way. It would add an element of danger."
"Oh yeah, because you're a regular 'danger boy'," Camille teased. "Hey, can I maybe have a little of where we are going?" Surprises always made Camille a bit anxious.
Logan chuckled. "Sorry, Camille. I don't want to ruin it for you. You'll just have to suffer through an incredibly long, boring, suspenseful car ride with me until we get there! Lucky for you, I brought snacks!" Logan handed her a small backpack, and she tore it open to find packages of yummy treats inside.
"Logan! These are all of my favorite snacks! How did you know?"
"I pay more attention than you think," Logan said. It was true, everything Camille had said in the past about anything, Logan had committed to his memory.
Camille sighed and looked at Logan admirably. "Logan, you are amazing."
The little genius just shrugged and grinned. "I know."
For the next few hours, Logan and Camille were on some sort of emotional roller coaster. They went from being very lax and chatting about things like their favorite bands and what was happening in their entertainment careers, to practically bouncing off of the seats and doors after their coffee and snacks set in, and finally they went into a comfortable, peaceful silence. Logan just concentrated on his driving and Camille stared out the window, watching as the scenery rushed past. They had been out of the city for a while now, and they were surrounded by snowcapped mountains in the distance, and a light dusting of snow was slowly falling out of the sky, which had a beautiful grey-ish purple tint to it.
The car had a warm, loving aura inside of it, and the gentle rocking motion started to make Camille feel sleepy. She nestled down into her seat and rested her forehead against the cold window pane. Feeling snug and safe, she drifted off to sleep.
Logan hadn't even realized Camille fell asleep until he heard her breaths even out and become slightly heavier. He glanced over at her and smiled. She looked angelic, her eyelashes fluttering every now and then and her mouth slightly parted open. The creamy rose color was back to her cheeks. She didn't look half as sickly as she did early that day.
Logan looked down at the digital clock, feeling a bit sleepy himself. It was now 12:30 in the morning. They should be at their destination by around 2:30.
At 2:00 am Camille moaned in her deep sleep and twitched uncomfortably. Worried, Logan pulled off to the shoulder of the highway so he could comfort her. He cupped her cheek with his hand and called her name quietly.
"Huh?" Camille said, stirring awake. The first thing she felt was Logan's knuckles caressing her cheekbone sweetly, and he was staring at her with concerned brown eyes.
"Hey, you alright?" He asked. "You seemed like you were having a nightmare."
Camille nodded and leaned into Logan's touch before rubbing the sleep form her eyes. "Um, yeah, I'm ok now," she said in a hoarse voice. She was always plagued with nightmares around this time, ever since her mother died. It was like her mind forced her to relive the day she found her mother over and over again.
"Are you sure? You look kind of pale," Logan said.
Camille smiled at the brunette boy's sweetness. "Yeah, I'm good now, thanks Logan. What time is it?"
"2 AM. We should be there soon," Logan said, pulling back onto the road. Camille stretched and yawned best she could in the compact car. Her legs were starting to get a bit restless.
"Aren't you tired Logan?" Camille asked, wondering why he wasn't falling asleep at the wheel.
"Not really, I took a nap earlier in the evening so I'm good," Logan said.
The pair drove for about 30 minutes longer. Camille felt something stir inside of her. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but her surroundings looked vaguely familiar. Her chest tightened with emotion when Logan drove up to a very familiar place. She had only been there once, and never came back. She didn't think she had the strength to ever visit here again.
"Logan," Camille said weakly, tears filling her eyes as when looked up at the looming, wrought-iron sign that said "Hillside Cemetery." Memories slammed into her like a brick. She saw the cherry-wood coffin lowering into the ground, could hear the prayer the Minister had uttered as the heavy, cold rain splattered against the large tent they stood under…
Logan quickly grabbed Camille's hand and held it tight. "You need closure, Camille. Come on, follow me honey." Logan grabbed a backpack from the backseat and led Camille down the cold, hard ground of the cemetery towards the plot Camille's father had informed him was her mothers.
"Remember how I told you I pay more attention than you think?" Logan started. "Well, I heard you when you told me you would do anything to talk to your mother again. I heard the pain and the need in your voice. And since I can't bring her back for you, however much I wish I could, I thought this would be second best."
"Oh my God," Camille said, kneeling onto the snow-dusted, dead grass and tracing her fingers along the freezing, pretty blue marble headstone. She hadn't been here since her mother was buried beneath this ground. Several emotions threatened to overwhelm her. God, she missed her mother so much.
Logan unpacked a couple of things from the backpack he brought with. He draped a small blanket over Camille's shivering shoulders, than took out candle holders for 3 tealights and lit them each, than set it in front of the headstone. It was quite beautiful, the way the flames illuminated the gold-engraved marble and glowed off of the fluffy, white snow.
"It's ok Camille," Logan assured the young girl. "You can talk to her now. Let it all out."
Camille kept her mouth clamped shut. She was so afraid that if she opened her mouth to speak, only sobs would come out. Logan seemed to read her mind, and a strong hand rested on her back and rubbed up and down her spine.
"It's ok to break, Camille," Logan whispered, his sweet, warm breath tickling her ear. Camille turned slightly and buried her face into his neck and melted into his safe, gentle arms. 3 years of pent up fear, sorrow and despair poured out of her in a flood of tears. Harsh sobs wracked her small body and she clung onto Logan for dear life.
Time seemed to stop moving and Logan held her for what could have been minutes or hours. He rocked her, he whispered sweet words to her, and he ran his fingers through her dark, tangled curls. When her sobs subsided into tiny hiccups, Logan kissed her tears off of her cheeks and held her quivering chin in his hands. Even though it was a bit cold and blistery outside, his hands still managed to stay forever warm.
"Thanks Logan," Camille said in a shuddery voice, looking past his sensitive chocolate eyes and into his beautiful soul. Her heart thudded nervously, and she buried her face into his chest before the urge to kiss his chapped pink lips became too much.
"Of course, Camille. Anything for you. I'll give you 2 a couple of minutes alone, ok?" Logan got to his feet and walked a little bit away from the grieving girl. He didn't stray too far, and he made sure she was still directly in his line of vision. After several minutes, he made his way back to Camille and put an arm across her shoulders. His heart lightened when he saw that, although her flushed cheeks were covered in fresh tears, she was smiling.
"Are you ok now?" Logan asked, smiling when she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah, I think I will be ok," Camille said, wiping her last tears away. "We had a good talk, I think. I said everything I didn't get a chance to. You were right. I needed this closure, Logan."
Logan rubbed Camille's arm, than reached into his pocket and pressed something cold into her palm. Camille looked at him, confused. He just smiled.
"I got you a little something. Take a look," Logan said. Camille opened her hand to reveal a chain with a sterling silver pendant of the Comedy/Tragedy symbol.
"Oh, Logan it's gorgeous," Camille breathed. Logan flipped the tiny masks over and ran his thumb over what he had engraved for her at the mall.
"'In memory of Dolores Roberts,'" Camille read. More tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but these were different. They were not tears of sorrow, but the exact opposite.
"Logan, I can't believe you did all of this for me, this is amazing," Camille said as Logan put the necklace around her neck.
"I wanted to do this, Camille. I actually saw this necklace a couple of months ago, when we were… You know, still together. I was going to get it for you for Christmas, but… Anyway, I remembered it after you told me the story about your mom, and why acting is your passion now. I thought it fit perfectly, so I went to the mall and had it engraved. I want it to represent that no matter what, through the hard times and good times, the comedy life brings and even the tragedy it brings, I will be right here for you, Camille. I want you to know that."
"Logan, that was beautiful," Camille said, sniffling. "You are the best friend I could ever ask for. What you did tonight was amazing. You fixed me, Logie. Thank you."
Logan blushed furiously and smiled crookedly, suddenly shy even after his confident little speech. "I- Camille, I miss you," he stuttered nervously.
"I miss you too, Logan. A lot," Camille admitted.
Logan rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. He had a burning desire deep in his stomach to kiss her, but he was terrified of ruining the moment. "I guess w-we should head back home," he said, attempting to get to his feet, but Camille brought him right back down again. He thudded to his knees, eyes wide with surprise. Camille started giggling.
"Why are you laughing?" Logan asked. This made Camille giggle harder.
"You're just cute," Camille said, wiping the snowflakes out of his soft, spikey black tufts of hair.
"And you're beautiful," Logan breathed. His cheeks immediately heated up when he realized what he let slip. Camille blushed in response, a gorgeous shade of dark pink that crept down her neck. She really was beautiful. The shadow of the flames from the candles flickered against her skin, and a couple of snowflakes were caught in her dark, long lashes.
Logan's heart pounded as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Camille's, but all his insecurities melted away when he felt her lips move against his. Even though they had shared many kisses, this somehow felt like their first one. It was definitely the sweetest and most meaningful kiss they had ever shared. Logan felt himself get lost in the moment as they kissed passionately. They only pulled away when they were too breathless to go any longer.
"W-wow," Logan said, honestly speechless. Camille seemed like she was trying to regain control of her breathing.
"That was amazing," Camille said when she finally calmed down a bit. She had never experienced a kiss quite like that before. She was pretty sure that she had seen those fireworks her mother always told her about when she was a little girl.
Logan grinned and brought her into his arms. She snuggled against his broad chest and breathed in his sweet, minty scent. She wished she would never have to leave his arms again.
"The sun will be up soon, we can watch the sunrise before we head home," Logan said, stroking her curls affectionately. Camille nodded, feeling the vibrations of his voice against her ear. It was her favorite sound in the world.
"Logan?" She said, tracing her thumb along the lines of his hands.
"Yeah?"
"I love you," she said in a heartfelt voice, and Logan knew she meant it. They didn't feel like just 3 words to either of them. She felt like she spoke a piece of her soul.
"I love you too, Camille," Logan said, burying his nose into her fruity-smelling hair. Camille smiled, content, and snuggled deeper into his arms.
"Thank you," she whispered once more, and not just to Logan, but to her mother too. She missed her mom more than words could express, but she looked at her mother's death in a new light. There was one good thing, one bright light that shone in the midst of her grieving darkness. Because of everything she had been through, she had met Logan. It was almost like fate. As if her mother had planned it all, because Camille knew deep down that her mom would never leave her alone in the world. It was because of her mom that Logan was sent to her, she knew that for a fact.
With a deep breath and one more tear, as a fiery ball of sun rose behind a snow-covered mountain, Camille let go of the past and welcomed the future in the arms of her love.
A/N Whew, it's done! That took me longer than any chapter I have ever written. I really hope you all liked it. This little fic means so much to me. Please review and let me know what you think. Reviews are marshmallows and they mean more to me than you'd ever know.