Carl the Llama's Bloodbath

Paul and Carl are standing outside a burning office building. Windows have been smashed, the door has fallen apart, and all in all the office building is a wreck.

"Carl! Why do you keep doing things like this?" asked Paul.

"I dunno, because I keep getting bored easily?" replied Carl.

"I brought you here so you could get a job, Carl!" exclaimed Paul.

"Yes, and I got a job here killing everyone in sight." answered Carl.

"You strangled your boss with his own intestines, Carl!" Paul stated with disgust.

"He wouldn't give me a raise." Carl badly tried to justify his actions.

"And then you ate them!" shrieked Paul.

"They tasted like spaghetti. They were delicious." said Carl.

"You defenestrated your coworker by headbutting her out the window! She fell ten stories!" yelled Paul.

"She wouldn't go out with a date with me." Carl once again failed to justify his actions.

"You're not supposed to go out with your coworkers, Carl!" Paul told him.

"But she was so hot." Carl replied.

"She was human! You're a llama!" Paul screeched.

"Why does that even matter? I've gone out with several other animals before." spoke Carl.

"Carl, that seriously crosses the line! How could you do that to those poor defenseless animals?" Paul nearly vomited at what Carl had said.

"I'm sure they didn't mind." Carl tried to assure Paul.

"Of course they minded! How else would they react?" Paul bellowed.

"I was pretty sure they enjoyed it. By the way, that building sure is smoldering isn't it? I'm surprised that the fire department hasn't come yet." Carl expressed his thoughts.

"You used molotov cocktails to light the building on fire!" Paul screamed.

"You'd be surprised how easy those are to make." replied Carl.

"And then you barricaded the emergency exit so nobody could escape the burning building!" screamed Paul.

"Barricading is one of my greatest hobbies." Carl told his llama "friend".

"You killed every worker in the entire office building, Carl! Do you think their families are going to be happy about this?" asked Paul.

"Somehow, I don't think they will be missed." said Carl.

"You make me sick, Carl!" Paul told his "friend". "Why do I even hang out with you?" he asked.

"Speaking of hanging, you should see what I did to some of my coworkers when we get back home." Carl replied.

"CARL!" he screamed.

"What can I say? I had rope…and well I couldn't decide another use for it." Carl decided.

"CARL! How could you execute your coworkers like this?" Paul said.

"My boss mentioned something about downsizing me…." Carl answered.

"CARL! This is the last time I take you to a building to help you get a job! I hope you're happy!" Paul told his fellow llama with hat.

"Ah yes, I feel like throwing a party right now. Complete with roasted human flesh!" Carl squealed with glee.

"Carl!" exclaimed Paul once more in disgust.

"Now all I'll need is someone to help me decorate. May I ask if you know any butchers?" asked Carl.

THE END