Chapter 17: The Start of a New Beginning

December 31, 1899

One year…

One entire year had seemed to come and go in just a blink of an eye. Within these twelve months, so much had happened that it made me wonder how it was even possible. The first thing to occur amongst our small group was the marriage of Dr. Dawson and his new wife, Abigail. It was a beautiful day in the beginning of March when they finally betrothed. Instead of holding the wedding in a church, they decided to have an outdoor ceremony in Regent's Park. It was too perfect, the cream and pink flowers fit wonderfully with the lavender gowns and of course Abigail's gorgeous white gown. Dawson especially looked handsome in his military uniform. Of course, Jonathan looked dashing as well as he stood by his friend and colleague.

Mrs. Judson had told me since I have been here Jonathan seemed more at ease with the fact that his dear friend was to be married. Before I arrived, he was sore about the very idea of his colleague moving on. In fact, the detective once told me that when Dawson had broken the news to him and their landlady, he felt this slight pang of abandonment. This was where I could relate with him, for I too have been in that very same situation, but the only difference was he tried to convince him of breaking it off with his fiancé. There was actually a certain length in time that Jonathan refused to speak to Dawson. Still the kind doctor brushed off his friend's silent treatment, for even something as childish as that was clearly not going to change his mind.

This was not the only bit of happiness that shined on 221B, a month or so after the death of James Ratigan, Jonathan and I felt that we were ready to take the next step in our relationship. Around late February, just a day or so after I had turned twenty-two, the detective, with great confidence, had asked for permission to court me. Of course, I accepted. All of our close friends were so pleased to hear this news, Olivia especially. She never liked the fact that her hero was alone with no one to love and care for him in that kind of manner. Even though I was happier than I had ever been, there was still one thing that felt completely wrong.

A week before Dawson and Abigail's wedding, Mrs. Judson decided to have them and the Flaversham's over one evening. During all the joyfulness, I could not help but pull myself away from the small group. Luckily, no one else noticed my sudden departure as I quietly snuck outside; that is, except for Jonathan. For a while, he knew something was troubling me, but he felt that it was best to wait until I approached him myself. This never happened just as he expected. With me sitting alone on a large boulder trying to hold back my tears, I failed to notice that he too had stepped out. It was when he draped his Inverness coat around my shoulders that I was aware of his presence.

Without having to ask, I calmly explained how I was practically being eaten alive by all this guilt that had been building up inside of me for the past couple months. He knew why, but allowed me to continue. I told him that I assumed I would no longer feel all this rage because my secret had finally been revealed. The only problem was that Jonathan was the only one that knew the truth about me. Everyone else inside was still living the lie, the very lie that I had created to save myself from the very beginning. I then told him that I felt that I had no choice but to tell them the truth as well, the only problem was how I was going to break it to them. I no longer had any solid evidence since it had been destroyed when I first arrived here. All I had was my word and Jonathan as a key witness to back it up.

A few weeks after Dr. Dawson and his new wife had returned from their honeymoon, they had paid a visit to Baker Street it was also then that the Flaversham's had chose to stop by as well. Seeing it was a better time than ever, with some growing confidence given to me by Jonathan, I hesitantly told them the truth about me. When everything was out in the open, I suddenly felt regret for no one said a word for the first few minutes. Thankfully, none of the got up at walked out of the flat, but the awkward feeling still lingered maybe not for them, but for me it did. The silence was tearing me apart; so as calmly as I could, I apologized and excused myself before making my way to my room. At this point, Jonathan did not even dare to stop me. What I did not know was while I was bawling my eyes out he remained downstairs with the others explaining everything.

As expected, though everyone believed the both of us, it took them a while to let it all sink in. Hearing something like this was definitely something no one could accept in just a few minutes, let alone even a few days. It was a month later when all the curiosity came crashing down on me. Everyone was so inquisitive about how things were in my world. I was getting questions about the types of technology we have to how advanced we were in the medical field. From how we dressed to what we did to entertain ourselves. I would admit, some I just could not answer, but for others I tried to do so to the best of my ability. When I failed to notice at first was how guilty Jonathan would feel when the very subject was brought up. After finally approaching him of the matter, I learned that he blamed himself for me remaining in this world. Hoping to cheer him up, I told him that even if I were given a choice, I still would have chosen to be here with him.

Then, come mid-May Dr. Dawson had stopped by one evening after his final engagement with a patient of his to tell us some great news. He had told us that Abigail was pregnant with their first child. Mrs. Judson, Jonathan, and I were all so proud to hear this. With each passing month, our small group waited with much anticipation for the arrival of the newest member. When it came close to Abigail's due date, we all took at guess at when the baby would come.

Finally, two days before Christmas Day, Abigail had given birth to a beautiful baby boy, which she and Dawson had named Adam after her grandfather. The name suited him perfectly. Each of us had a turn in holding the newest Dawson, even Jonathan. I smiled lovingly as he held the small child close to him as if it were his own. This even made him an easy target when Dr. Dawson teased him about how sensitive the detective seemed at the moment.

So now here it was, the final day before the new millennium. The flat was quiet and peaceful, with the exception of the only sound coming from the crackling fire from the fireplace. Earlier, Dawson and Abigail had stopped by to visit before making their way up to Birmingham for a few days to spend some time with family, when they had left, as did Mrs. Judson so she could spend some quality time with her son and his children in Sussex. That only left Jonathan and me alone for a day or so. The only thing was I felt that I had been the only one in this flat since I had not seen Jonathan since everyone else had left.

He had told me that the holidays were usually the only free time he got from clients as well as from Scotland Yard. Therefore, it confused me that he seemed to be nowhere in sight. Not worrying too much, I decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing. Grabbing the mystery novel that had been given to me as a Christmas present on the armrest of Jonathan's chair from last night, I took my seat and began where I left off. Instantly sucked into all the suspense by the plot and its characters, I did not notice someone from behind approaching me. It was when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder that I looked up with curiosity.

Smiling lovingly, I asked, "Where did you disappear to?" Jonathan returned with a smile of his own.

"I was upstairs resting. My leg was acting up again," he answered, the sound of his voice and the dishevelled look of his hair and clothing telling me that he had just woken up. "Forgive me for not telling you before I vanished."

"No, it's quite all right." Since the incident, it had left Jonathan slightly disabled. It left him with no choice but to use a cane at all times. Thankfully, he was still able to continue his work, but with some limitations. Still, there were times he tested said limitations and as always, it left him drained and with some slight discomfort.

At first not being able to take cases drove him insane and led him to a deep depression, something I had never seen since I had been here. With that, it led him towards what we all loathed, his needle and cocaine. Dr. Dawson and Mrs. Judson had been the only ones to witness him in such a state after his temporary high had worn off. They described Jonathan as having a ghost-like appearance, colour from his face drained away and his body covered with sweat. I knew when he was not given any artificial stimulants, his dark moods drove him to such a state, but not once did I ever think I would witness it for myself. The most terrifying thing was to see him in the act. It sickened me when I saw him extracting the needle from the vein it had punctured. Whether he was aware of my presence, I quickly turned away and ran out into the bitter cold.

"As intelligent as you are, you can be so stupid," I had told him once he was sober enough to confront. I did not understand why Jonathan felt the need to do just a horrid thing, but at the same time I did not wish to know for it probably would have upset me more. Thinking that I was going to be able to remain calm once I spoke to him, I failed.

Like his landlady and the doctor, he too had heard my opinion of him injecting himself with such a dangerous concoction. However, as I had told him, it did not make any difference. I told him that it was his choice to give it up completely, but if he decided to continue with his addiction, to show me some kind of sign so I would not have to see him harming himself in such a way. Since then, he had been more careful if he chose to do such a thing; but since that one incident, I had not seen him depend on it for he had been occupying himself by having us spend more time with one another. However even doing that seemed too much for him at times.

"Perhaps we should take a break from our walks for a while, just to give your leg a bit of a break," I suggested when he took a seat on the armrest of the chair.

"I'd have to disagree. In fact, I was wondering if you would like to do so later."

"Are you sure that is a good idea, Jonathan? I don't want you to strain yourself more."

"I promise you, my dear that I won't."

I was still a bit worried about it, but knowing him, it seemed that I had no choice. "Fine," I gave in, "you win."

"I do love winning," he commented rather teasingly as he smiled at me.

"I know you do," I told him before he leaned down, catching my lips with his in a lover's kiss. When we finally departed, he stood up tall, walking stick in his hand.

"Then it's settled. We shall depart about a quarter to eleven."

"What," I asked, confused by what he had just told me, "isn't that a bit late to be out, especially just for a walk. I am free to do so now. In fact right now is probably a perfect time."

"I would much rather go later," he said, hinting that he was not going to change his mind. The smile on his face, told me that he was hiding something.

"What is it that you are not telling me?"

Looking down, he said, "Enjoying that book I see, you hardly put it down-"

"Don't change the subject Jonathan Lee Basil. Why is it that you are so keen to waiting until a later hour?"

Taking my hand, he kissed him lightly. "I have my secrets. You should know that I sometimes tend to not reveal said secrets until the time is just right."

"But again, why so late?" I asked once more, and again he dodged it.

"I shall be waiting for your arrival, darling," he said with a sly grin on his face as he made his way back upstairs. When hearing the door from his bedroom close, it left me wondering. It was true; he usually kept everyone, myself included in the dark. After a minute or so, I chose to not think about it and go back to my book. The only problem is when my mind was set on something else, it was damn near impossible for me to concentrate on what I was doing before.

He did this on purpose, I said inwardly as I placed the book back on the armrest. He knows how to mess with me. Getting to my feet, I stretched, yawning softly. Feeling a bit tired myself, I decided to go upstairs and join Jonathan to rest for a while. Before doing so, one question still lingered in my mind.

"What is that mouse up to?"

When the time came, my question was still not answered when I asked him once again before our departure from Baker Street. As our carriage made its way down the snowy abandon street, we both remained in silence while I kept trying to figure out what the mouse in front of me had planned. Judging by the look on his face, I knew he was amused when I kept trying to figure it out, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

As the carriage came to a stop, Jonathan stopped me before I had a change to move towards the door. He told me that I was not allowed to see where he was taking me until he felt the time was right. Moving over to my side, I did not see that he had pulled out a handkerchief from his coat pocket before wrapping it around my eyes as a blindfold. Knowing how curious I was earlier, this little move of his made me even more curious. I shivered a bit when the door finally opened, and since I could not see where I was going, Jonathan had to guide me along.

Making our way to wherever it was that we were going, I could hear the carriage from behind us moving away. With the crunching of the snow from beneath my feet, I began to feel a bit worried of Jonathan for this was too much work for his leg. As far as I could tell, however, he did not seem to be bothered by the workout since it was obvious that his mind was on something else.

It took us a while before reaching this secret destination. Grabbing hold of my hand Jonathan instructed me to step up, otherwise I would probably trip. Doing so, we walked a bit further before he sat me down. Thinking I could take off the blindfold, I was soon stopped.

"Not just yet, darling," Jonathan told me, grabbing my hands gently. Placing my hands in my lap, I remained quiet as he walked around me. As he did so, my browns furrowed as I kept hearing this clanking sound followed by what could only be the sound of a match. Blowing it out, he then walked back to where I sat and undid the blindfold. "All right, you may look," he finally allowed.

For a few seconds, my eyes had yet adjusted to the quick change; but once I was able to see correctly, I was in complete awe at the sight around me. In the very same marque that he took me to the first time he showed me around Regent's Park, red glowing candles surrounded me. The dim glow seemed to give off this romantic vibe, which was probably Jonathan's intention.

"Jonathan…this…," was all I could seem to get out before the detective sat down beside me, turning my head towards him as we meat in a passionate kiss. It took us a moment of so before pulling away to catch our breath.

"I'm please to like it. I wanted to make this night as romantic as I could."

"Well, you have seemed to pull it off very nicely; but if you do not mind me asking, what was your intent on doing it?"

"I have my secrets."

"Right, as you have told me earlier. Will you share these particular secrets with me?"

"I will when the time is right."

I could not help but laugh as he sat there gazing at me with such love in his eyes. "Since when did you become Mr. Cryptic?"

"According to you, I have always been as you claim."

"No, I just said that you could be cryptic at times, but I did not formally label you as such."

"Ah, so you choose now to do so," Jonathan teased as he pulled me closer to him, catching my lips with his once more.

"What is going on with you?" I asked as he kept me close. "You are acting very different."

"It doesn't seem to bother you though."

"No it doesn't, but…" Just then, off in the distance the faint sounds of Big Ben chimed through the night's sky. All around us I heard cheering and laughter for the New Year, a new millennium. Couples were probably holding their lovers close as they shared their first kiss of 1900. I could not help but smile at this thought. Looking back at Jonathan, I smiled softly as I leaned into him for my own New Year's kiss. "I think we should head back home before we freeze."

"Not just yet, darling. There's…there is something I wanted to ask of you and is actually the reason why I brought you here tonight."

"Really, what is it?" I asked curiously, not just because of the question itself, but also because of why he suddenly became nervous. "Are you all right?"

"Yes I'm quite fine, just…" He paused for a brief moment before looking away and then back at me. "Paula…"

"Yes?"

"I…Well…You see…" He sighed. "Damn, I had everything I wanted to say perfect earlier," he whispered, but it was still loud enough for me to hear.

"What…I don't understand. Jonathan, what is going on?"

Taking a deep breath, he held my hands tightly as he looked deep into my eyes. "Paula…in all my years, not once have I ever come across someone like you. There was more to that speech, but I seemed to have forgotten it on the count of nerves. Therefore, here is what shall happen. As bravely as I can," he began, acting upon his words, "I am going to get down on one knee."

"You're what…?" I questioned.

"I am then going to reach into my pocket and pull out a small box. Inside that box is a small piece of jewellery that represents my deepest feelings for you." After saying this, he did just that. Inside that box was a small engagement ring with a single amethyst stone and two small diamonds surrounding it. "When that is done I am going to ask you a very important question, to which then you will reply. Hopefully, so I am not made a complete fool, you will agree to such a question."

"Jonathan…"

"Will you do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife?" I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. My heart raced. My entire body felt like it was set ablaze. It all was clear to me now. He brought me out here to propose to me. "Marry me, Paula," he told me once more. Looking deep into his jade eyes, I could see desperation and hope within them.

"I…I…" I was speechless. I did not know what to say or how to say it. I knew my answer, but if just did not seem to want to come out. Then an idea hit me and I looked back at him with a sly grin. "Do you seriously want my answer?" I asked.

"Y-yes, I very much would." Rising to my feet, he quickly did the same as he soon towered over me. Gripping onto his coat, I pulled him close and before he could say another word, I reached up and caught his lips with my own. Tense at first, Jonathan soon relaxed as he wrapped his arm around my waist, keeping me close to him. Without realizing it, his grip on the small box loosened and fell with a loud thump. Soon we were ripped out of our trance, as he panicked.

"Damn!" he said under his breath, dropping to the ground in search of the box. Finding it, he sighed with relief when the saw that the expensive ring had not fallen out. Jumping to his feet once more, he looked at me with great fear. "I-I am terribly sorry, darling. I…I just…This has been a disaster."

Hearing this, I could not help but laugh. "No, it hasn't," I assured him as I took the box from him. He watched while I took the ring and slipped it onto the proper finger. "It's nice."

"So…i-is that a yes then?"

I nodded. "I'll marry you." Sighing with relief, Jonathan began to laugh as he lifted me up into the air, spinning me around. When my feet finally hit the ground once more, he caught my lips with his. Placing a hand on his cheek, I noticed that he was crying; as was I.

"I love you, Paula," he whispered before kissing me again. "I always will."

THE END

Finally, after two years and two (no, three) rewrites, it's done and out of the way. I want to personally thank all who have been following this story right from the very beginning. However, a thanks must be given to those those that have been following it even after its major transition. If it weren't for your comments of support, this story probably never would have been finished.

At the moment, a sequel is in the works. Thus far, the prologue and chapters 1-3 are finished. I only hope that it is just as exciting as this was.