I just wanna say thanks to everyone who finished up this story with me—special shout-out to my very best friend (in real life, too), HeadStuckInTheClouds, who has helped me through so much and continues to help me through the sequel—and thanks to all of you who are reading this after it's been complete for however long. This story really is my baby. And, sure, my writing skills have progressed so far from when I first started, but this story—even the sorta dreadful beginning—will always have a special place in my heart. And it means more than the world to me that you people seem to love it as much as I do.

I don't own Supernatural or any references to anything else you may recognize.

So, without further ado, I give you the final chapter to I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away!

After a while, I pushed myself onto my knees and saw a now-perfect Dean and a self-satisfied Castiel.

"Cas?" I exclaimed hoarsely, my throat sore from crying. "But—but you were dead!"

He shared a look with Dean that made me think they'd already talked about this and I just hadn't been paying attention. "God brought me back," he said triumphantly. "I'm an angel again."

"That's great," I croaked, forcing a smile, though I'm sure it looked more like a grimace, especially with the blood all over my face. I got to my feet slowly and handed the rings to Dean, saying, "Death probably wants his back."

He fixed me with his piercing green eyes as he took the rings, then surprised me by putting his arm around me and squeezing briefly. "Sorry for leavin' without you," he said quietly.

"I'm not sorry for following you," I replied, and he chuckled mirthlessly.

"Gee, what a surprise."

From out of nowhere, Ella launched herself at him, burying her face in his chest and sobbing. "I thought ya were gonna die!" she cried, her voice muffled by his shirt. He hugged her back tightly, like she was the only thing keeping him from breaking down, and I looked away when I saw a tear roll down his face.

I suddenly saw Bobby getting to his feet and looking around in wonder. Before I was consciously aware of doing it, I was hugging the older hunter desperately. He was the closest thing I'd had to a father since Greg, and when I saw him die, I didn't know what I was going to do. All I could think about was losing another father.

He hesitantly hugged me back, then let go and said gruffly, "What're ya tryin' to do, kid? Kill me again?"

I released him and stepped back. "Sorry," I said, sniffling a little. "You just scared the shit outta me, old man—how d'you think I'm gonna react?"

He patted my shoulder awkwardly and I forced another smile.

I turned to Castiel, who was watching our displays of affection uncomfortably. "There's… nothing you can do?" I asked hesitantly, my voice full of wary hope.

"I'm sorry," the angel said, his deep, monotonous voice betraying no emotion.

Anger rose up inside of me. How can he be so uncaring, and so useless? He's an angel, and apparently he's one of God's favorites! He should be able to do something! "Oh, so there's a limit on how many people you can resurrect?" I snapped, but Castiel just stared at me calmly, as if he had been expecting my outburst. "What's the point of you coming back if you can't do anything?" I raged, clenching my fists. Clouds rolled in and I knew I should try to control my powers, but at that moment, I couldn't care less. "Why you, and not Sam?"

"Gari…" Dean said warningly as Cas narrowed his eyes. "Don't piss off the nerd angels…"

"No, Dean," Castiel said darkly, an odd tone to his voice. "She needs to say this."

"You're useless!" I yelled at the angel, and a loud clap of thunder sounded. Neither of us reacted, both glaring too fiercely to notice.

"I've saved your life, Garideth, or have you forgotten that?" he retorted. The way he decided to hold that over me only infuriated me more. He saved me from a demon! A demon that I could've taken by myself!

"Compared to what I'm feeling now, being dead would be a relief!" I screamed, angry and despairing tears springing to my eyes. I brushed them away roughly and continued. "I wish Michael had killed me! Anything would be better than this!"

"Don't talk like that!" Ella exclaimed, aghast.

"Your boyfriend's thinking it, too; he's just too afraid to say it!" I ranted, and she flinched away from me. "He came here to talk to Sam, but if that didn't work, he was hoping Lucifer would kill him! I heard what he said in Detroit!"

"Is that true?" Ella asked Dean, and he looked away. She put her hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut despairingly.

"I would have just brought you both back," Cas said, and I whipped my head around to glare at him again.

"Why?" I cried. "Why are we so important, but Sam has to be stuck in that cage?"

"It is God's—"

"Don't you dare preach to me about 'God's will!'" I snarled, stepping closer to the angel and yelling in his face. "If God is so magnificent, where is He now? If He's so powerful, why can't he bring Sam back?"

"I thought you believed now," Ella reminded me hesitantly.

"Oh, I believe." I glared at her for a second, then faced Castiel again. "I believe he's a fucked up, shitty excuse for a father who finds entertainment in watching his precious 'creations' live out their pathetic, miserable lives down on this Hell called Earth! How's that for belief?"

I then found out what happens when you piss off the nerd angels.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

When I woke up, I noticed two things: one, I had absolutely no clue where I was, and two, the whole left side of my face was throbbing fiercely. I touched it gingerly and pain shot through me. "Ow," I groaned.

"You're awake!" Ella exclaimed, and I sat up slowly, looking around with my good eye and realizing that I was on Bobby's couch.

"What happened?" I asked groggily, fruitlessly trying to open my left eye.

"Cas punched ya," she reminded me unconcernedly.

"Don't feel bad for me, now," I said sarcastically.

"Oh, I don't—you deserved it," she replied. "How'd you feel if someone talked 'bout Greg like that?" I looked down at my lap, a small bit of guilt bubbling up in my stomach. If someone talked about Greg like that, it would be the last thing they ever did. "Exactly," she said, as always knowing just what I was thinking. "So how d'ya feel?"

"Like I just got punched by an angel," I deadpanned, and she giggled. I glanced up at her, noticing how disheveled and worried she looked, and I frowned. Only Dean and I could make her do that. "Elle, you—you know I'm sorry, right? For yelling at you? I didn't mean to—I was just—"

"I know," she interrupted, squeezing my hand once. "Ya were just upset. 'Course ya were upset. Sam's gone and—"

"Stop, Elle." Despair fell over me once again as she said his name. Is it supposed to hurt this much? So much that I can't even hear his name? Or even think it? "Please. Just—stop."

"I'm sorry, Gari, I didn't mean—" The hurt on her face made me feel so guilty. She was just trying to be comforting, as always.

"I know. It's okay." I racked my brain for a way to change the subject. "Um… where is Cas, anyway?"

"In Heaven, I guess. He's 'the new sheriff in town'—that's how Dean put it. Why?"

"I guess I'm gonna apologize," I muttered.

"Really?" Ella said, surprised. "Wow, how hard did he hit ya?"

"Shut up," I snapped halfheartedly. I got to my feet shakily and stared up at the ceiling. "Castiel?" I called. "Cas? Can you come down here, please?" Nothing happened. "Cas?" I tried again. "I… I want to apologize."

The angel appeared in a flurry of wings and cocked his head to the side, his baby blue eyes boring into me. "I'm listening."

I walked over to him, staring down at my feet. "I… I shouldn't have said—I didn't mean—" I paused, biting my lip and trying to figure out what to say, how to make my only half-sincere apology sound like it meant something. "I'm just—I'm sorry. I know He's your father, and I know if someone talked about Greg like that, they'd be dead before they could finish a sentence. So… forgive me?" I held my hands behind my back, trying to look innocent. I really was sorry for insulting his father, but I wasn't sorry for what I said. Everything I said was true, it was what I believed in, and nothing would make me change my mind.

Castiel scrutinized me for a moment, then seemed to be satisfied. He actually bought that? "I apologize as well," he said, and he really did sound sorry. "I believe I… flew off the handle?" He looked to Ella for approval of his choice of words, and she nodded appreciatively.

"I was dissing your dad," I said with a shrug, trying to put some emotion into my voice, but I just couldn't do it. What does what an angel think of me matter when he is gone? Who cares if Cas hates me? I deserve it—I deserve all the hate in the world. If I knew more about my powers, maybe I could've saved him. Maybe I could have found another way to stop Lucifer. "And I was being a bigger bitch than usual. You had every right to punch me. Don't worry about it."

"Still," the angel said, stepping closer to me. "I can at least do this." He touched my injured face gently, and suddenly the pain stopped.

I felt it wonderingly, blinking as I got used to it being healed, and said, "Man, you sure know how to apologize." I turned to Ella then. "Where's Dean?" I asked. "How is he?"

"He's arguin' with Bobby," she said sadly. "He's been arguin' with everyone, even me. I don't like bein' yelled at, 'specially by him, but I've been tryin' not to fight back 'cause of—"

"He'll be fine, Elle," I broke in, ignoring the aching pain that hit me when she almost said his name again. "He'll come around. I promise."

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

We had been at Bobby's for about a week. I hadn't seen Cas since the first day, but I didn't really care. Dean was sulking, and so was I.

I kept having nightmares, replaying his death in my head, and no matter what I did, they wouldn't stop. They started with Lucifer beating Dean, then jumped to him and Michael falling into the cage. I always woke up as the hole resealed. Thankfully, I never woke up screaming. Elle would never leave me alone if I did. I actually considered pissing Cas off again, just so I could get some rest.

Ella was so comforting that it was annoying—just how I had predicted, exactly what I'd told him. I'll have to leave soon. I can't handle this much longer. The only reason I was still sticking around was because I hadn't figured out a way to break it to her yet.

I was currently lounging on Bobby's couch, having finally decided to leave. My fingers twisted in the cord of the necklace Bobby had given me that morning. There was an identical one around my neck. The one in my hands was for Ella.

She and Dean walked into the room at the perfect moment, followed by Bobby. "Get up," Dean said, slapping my foot. "We're goin' to Kentucky."

"You promised him, Dean," I said quietly as I stood up. "No more hunting. Normal. Safe. That's it."

"I—I know," he said, looking down at his feet. "We're not hunting monsters."

"Then what are you doing?"

"House-hunting."

My eyes widened in surprise. Some part of me had thought that he wouldn't obey his brother's wish, but I should have known that he would. "Oh," I said, shifting my weight awkwardly.

"So're we goin' or not?" Ella asked, hands on her hips.

"You are," I replied. "I'm not."

"What're ya talkin' 'bout, Gari?" she asked confusedly.

"Here," I said, taking her hand and closing it around the necklace. "Take it."

"What's it for?" She looked at me warily, fear growing in her sapphire blue eyes.

"Hold it by the string over a map and spin it clockwise three times, then say 'quaerere,'" I directed. "I have a matching one, see? With it, you can always find me."

"Gari…" Ella started, her voice now thick with worry. "What's goin' on?"

"She's leaving, Ella," Dean told her quietly.

"What?" she cried, dropping the necklace in shock. Tears brimmed in her eyes and I bit my lip. Please don't cry, Elle. Please don't cry. "No, ya can't!"

"I have to, babe," I replied, keeping my voice as emotionless as possible. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!

"Why?"

"I can't stay. I just… I can't, Ella. Being on my own right now—that's what's best for me. You and Dean are gonna live a normal life. You know I can't do that. I can't just stop being a freak. I'm not normal, Ella, and I'm not gonna pretend that I am."

"I don't care! Ya can't leave me!" she yelped, tears rolling down her face, and she threw her arms around my waist. "Ya can't leave me!"

"Ella…" I began slowly, prying myself out of her grasp. "You'll have Dean. And you've got a baby on the way."

"Twins," she whispered, and I almost didn't catch it.

Then it clicked. "Twins?" Dean and I exclaimed simultaneously.

"I went yesterday. Boy and a girl. Due November second. Y'all were mopin' around and didn't even notice I was gone."

Dean blanched, his face drained of all color, but he didn't say anything.

I ignored his minor panic attack, saying, "Then that's an even bigger reason for you and Dean to move on. I need time to think, to sort through everything."

"But—but we've been together forever!" She grabbed me again, breaking into sobs. "We can't split up now!"

"Ella, you gotta let her go," Dean said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"No!" she protested fiercely, her grip on me tightening. "No, ya can't, Gari! Ya can't!"

I squeezed her tightly, fighting back tears to no avail. When she cries, I cry. When she laughs, I laugh. Whatever she does, I do. We're one in the same. She's my best friend, my sister, the only one who's been there through everything. I can't live without her. Why am I leaving her? "Elle… please…"

She pulled away from me, sniffling and wiping her eyes. "Is this… really what ya want?" she asked hoarsely.

Oh, God, no. No, I never wanna leave you. I'm so scared to be without you. But I have to. I plastered on a hopefully convincing smile and said, "Yeah, Elle. It is." She flew at me again, hugging me so tightly that I could barely breathe. "Besides," I choked out, "it's not like you'll never see me again. This isn't goodbye." I just can't stop lying, can I?

"'Never say goodbye,'" Ella quoted, and I joined in, grinning wryly, "'because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting.'"

"Man, we are such dorks," I said with a small laugh.

"Okay," Ella said, sounding slightly happier. "Do what ya needa do. Just promise you'll come back."

I hesitated for the briefest moment. "I promise."

"Swear on the River Styx?"

"Really, Elle? You're making me use a demigod oath?"

"It's unbreakable!" she argued. "So say it!"

"I swear on the River Styx."

"And on the precious?"

"And on the precious," I sighed.

Bobby and Dean watched our exchange with amusement, then Bobby stepped forward. "See ya 'round, kid." I froze in place, blinking rapidly. Those are the last words he said to— Bobby seemed to realize that, too, for he quickly pulled me into an awkward hug. "I expect I'll be seein' ya a lot. Y'know you'll be needin' my help with somethin' or other soon, since it's the first time you're on your own and all."

"Yeah," I said, closing my eyes, "I'll miss you too, old man."

He released me and stepped back, his face red and a slight sadness in his eyes. "Idjit," he muttered, and I grinned.

I turned to Dean, and he met my gaze, a small smile on his face. "You take care of her, alright?" I threatened, only half-joking. "I'll kick your ass if anything happens to her, and you know I'm capable."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "My nose still hurts every now and then."

I laughed a little at that, staring at him thoughtfully. Here was this man I had hatedso fiercely for so long, and now it was taking all of my willpower to leave him behind. I trusted him with my life—even more importantly, with Ella's life. He was the brother I never had, and I could see he felt the same way about me.

I stepped forward and hugged him, closing my eyes and once again feeling the prickle of tears. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "for everything I've done, and for everything that's happened to you. You deserve better, Dean. No one deserves more than you."

"Take care of yourself, Gari," he said gruffly. "And… don't be a stranger, okay? Soon as we find a place, you'll know." He let me go and gave me his trademark smirk, the smirk that used to make my blood boil with anger and annoyance. Now it just made me want to cry.

Ella hugged me again. "Call me and check in sometime, 'kay?" I nodded. "Love ya, Gari."

"Love you too, babe."

With a final glance at the people I loved most, I turned and walked out of Bobby's house without any intention of ever going back.

And there you have it, folks. That's the end.

But then again… nothing ever really ends, does it?